A Difficult Post

Take videos as well as photographs. As long as you are well enough and healthy enough, do some of the things you put off. A trip with the kids, for example. Seeing something abroad.

I'm so very sorry you are going through this.

All i can do is cry right now. I agree with everything that everyone is writing.
I lost my dad to colon cancer and I only had found out he was my dad 6 months before he died. We talked everyday (i live in NV and he lived in IL) and i got to talk to him the day he died.
You sound like the most amazing person in the world.
Many many blessings to you

I am so deeply sorry.

There is this movie I saw years ago about a young mom who is dying of cancer. She had two little ones at home. She left them voice messages for bdays and big milestones.

Oh, K., I am so, so very sorry! Those are such hollow words but my heart is so, so sad for you and your babes and your husband.

I think what you are doing is absolutely brilliant.

If it were me, in addition to what you are doing, I would want to make my kids a cookbook of all their favorite things that I make and of all the foods that graced the table at holiday dinners, like my turkey brine for Thanksgiving and our cornbread stuffing, or the goulash the kids love. That way they still have the comfort food when I'm no longer cooking it. The smells and tastes will bring back memories and when they are eating it I will be there with them.

I would also want to make letters, or videos of advice for difficult situations that always pop up through life. I can't tell you how many times I've faced a situation where I thought, "I wish my dad was here or my mom was here to help me figure this out." Things like, "how to I know he/she is the one?" or "I hate my job, what do I do?".

I hate with all my heart that you are going through this, but I am so impressed with the mom that you are because you are determined to stay in their lives in any way you possibly can. How amazing you are.

Love and prayers to you,

L.

Wow, I'm not even sure how to express how sorry I am for your situation. :(

I think your time is the best possible gift you can give them, but as far as for your box...

I would write letters to each child to be opened at special milestones... Wedding day, birth of first child, anything like that you can think of. It may seem a bit morbid, but maybe even a letter to open on the anniversary of the day you leave. I lost my grandfather a year and a half ago (to colon cancer, ironically enough...) He had raised me for most of my life, so it was like losing a father; on the anniversary of his death, I received a copy of his autobiography that he had written, along with a letter addressed to me. It was amazing how much it helped me through a difficult day.

Which brings another idea... Write out your life. Memories of childhood, teen years, feelings on meeting your husband and having your children. It doesn't have to be a long book... Just something for your kids to look at and know your story.

If you have nice/sentimental jewelry, I would select a piece for each child. Write a note about the significance of the piece (where you got it, the sentimentality it holds for you, why you chose this piece for them...) Do the same for anything that holds sentimental value for you, that you specifically want hem to have. (I have a silly little fisherman frog figurine that lived on top of my grandpa's computer for several years. I consider it one of my absolute most prized possessions.)

I'm truly sorry you have to go through this, and never apologize for your emotions. You have every right to them.

1. This does suck. I'm sorry. There are no words that can express my sympathy for this crappy situation. That said, if you haven't already, please pray to God for your forgiveness and salvation and the salvation of your family. My mother in law, who passed away last year, was saved just a couple of weeks before she passed away. What a relief for her family to know that we'd all see her again in Heaven. ♥

2. I love your ideas. I would add a couple of things: If you're working, quit. Don't waste your time on timewasters anymore. Call your life insurance company and find out if an advance is available for people diagnosed with a terminal illness. I know my life insurance will advance $250k if I'm given 9 months to live.

3. Go do all the things on your bucket list. Do all the things you want to do with your kids.

4. If there are treatments that will slow the growth of your tumors and give you more time, do them. My grandmother was given 3 months to live and she stayed with us for 4 years longer. My father in law was given a year to live in January, and he's still going strong today. That timeframe is not set in stone. Talk with your docs and make a plan based upon what you want to do. Don't just give up.

5. Say it all. Say I love you. Say you're sorry. Say everything and leave nothing unsaid.

Love in Christ,

C. Lee

K.,
My thoughts and prayers are with you & your family. The special boxes and cookbook ideas are wonderful. In addition , do a book/journal or scrapebook about you. Your family history, old pictures of you as a child or teen, how you feel about different things dealing with life in general, things your children can pass down to their children ,so they'll know who you are. You could also do some Birthday cards in advance for each of their birthdays,Valentine's day, Christmas ,etc so when those events come they will have something from you and can enjoy your memory. The videos are a wonderful idea as well, maybe you can put them on flash drives . Do you have small things , lace hankies, a favorite scarf, you can also spray with your fav perfume and place in a ziplock bag to keep the scent ? I remember spraying my husband's pillows with his cologne after he passed,just because it reminded me of him, and I will do the same thing with some of my Dad's things ,as he recently passed away. Ask your children if there are things they want to know about and give them the answers in the video or journals you are making. Talk to them about your life and how having them was your greatest acheivement, the day you brought them into the world, the day you brought them home, their reactions to new siblings and so on.
I am sorry this is happening to you and your family ,enjoy everyday you have and keep a positive outlook, it will make a big difference in your quality of life. And don't give up on miracles, they do happen, even if it isn;t the exact way we think things should happen. I wish you the best, C. S.

I lost my dad to colon cancer almost 8 years ago (his tumor was also missed) and the thing that I miss the most are stories - stories of my childhood, special memories of what we did, stories of his childhood and his life before us. Those are what you should write down or record.

I am so sorry for you and your family. Enjoy the time that you have left, but don't give up the fight too soon.

My mother-in-law passed away three years ago this month, also from cancer, so my heart definitely goes out to you and your family with the heartache you're experiencing and that urgent desire to try to do all you can now while you have the time and ability. I can tell you, after losing my mother-in-law, the biggest thing I regret is that we never followed through with a plan we had to record her stories of childhood as well as special stories from when my husband was younger. My mother-in-law was not a journal keeper, so those stories are gone now. It's definitely valuable from a family history standpoint and something everyone in your family would cherish. I don't know if you're a music person, but it might be nice to put together cd's of your favorite songs as well. Best wishes to you and your family!

You know, I love all of the suggestions. As a mom I also would want to leave memories, notes, letters.

I would include my childhood. Memories of my relationships with different people in my life. Things I was proud of as well as things, I was ashamed of and how I handled these situations. Your children need to know your struggles, how hard you work, how it feels to be their mother. And the fact that you are not perfect but how you overcame your struggles, weaknesses etc.

I probably would go around the house and end up tagging things or at least photographing the special things so our daughter would know why they were special to me.

One thing I have told our daughter over and over.. All of this "STUFF" is not me. It is just stuff. I have it because I either needed it, wanted it or someone special to me gave it to me, but it is not me and NOT her responsibility to keep ANY of it. Yes, there are a few things worth money, so I have told her about those, but she is allowed to give it away, I do not care. But I would prefer it not be thrown away, because they are items that are worth a dollar value and historical value.

Also there are going to be times, when writing something down, recording something, will take your energy.. and what your family really wants is time with you.

They will always carry that with them. They will not forget any of that time.

When my very dear friend was dying a few years ago, we talked all of the time. I asked her very basic questions. I had her share stories about her friends, family etc.. And then we had a lot of conversations about what she hoped for her husband in the future.

She also told me how she wanted to die.If she was hospitalized. If she was in Hospice care at home or at a facility. How she wanted to be treated, Who she wanted to see.

She did not leave letters or videos, instead she gave all of us time with her.

Everyone was welcome. If she was not up to it, people understood, but otherwise, we made sure she had wine, beer and soft drinks, snacks, etc, so if anyone dropped in they could help themselves.. She encouraged people to stay and visit, even if she fell asleep or needed quiet time in her bedroom. She said she loved hearing the chatter and laughing even if she was not in the room.

But, we always told her, she was in charge. Whatever she needed or wanted, we would not get our feelings hurt. This time was all going to be about her.

Be honest about what you need and want. Allow people the honor to help in different ways. Come up with a list so that you can refer to it.

Groceries, driving you to appointments, Housekeeping, pet care, Errands, taking you shopping for, gifts for the kids, etc.

People need to be able to help in some way. This is a great way to include these helpers.

It all sounds wonderful.

Honestly, when I lost my grandmother it was really important to have material/sentimental items to remember her by. Now, 18 years later, I know I have her in my heart. The items/things no longer matter. I have them and will always keep them, but if I lost them I would be okay. I will always have my wonderful memories of her and no one can take those away.

Do a few things for each of them and then focus on having some good times with each of them. No need to wear yourself out creating a memory, it will be there naturally.

As for the family photos, can you find a photographer who will do a day shoot with you? You can have them photograph you with the kids at the mountains having snowball fights or skiing or whatever you do for fun as a family.

I am sorry...you are right, much too young. My heart goes out to you.

Most book stores have "about you" journals, where each page has a question about different times in your life that you might never think of sharing with your children, and leaves space for you to answer. Example "What did your room look like growing up" or "How did your parents/grandparents meet" or "who were the boys you liked growing up".

I like your recording idea. Maybe record yourself singing along to your favorite songs.

Grace and peace to you Mama in your days ahead. Praying for a miracle on your behalf.

First of all I am sending you and your family strength.

As for suggestions, If you have family photos, label and date them. I have inherited six boxes of family photos dating back to the early 1900s. My grandmother was able to label some of them but not all before dementia stopped her in her tracks. It is beyond frustrating to not know who is in the photos and when the photos were taken (why/occasion would be a nice extra). As well because of the dementia the photos are in disarray so the chronology she painstakingly put together is gone. Talk to your children about the family history. I was not all that interested as a young woman but as I get older, I wish I knew more and all of the people who would know are gone now.

I would write your children letters; any letters would be wonderful but maybe think about any special wishes you have for them on their upcoming adult milestones - wedding/marriage, birth of a child, parenting advice, etc. Before my oldest was born, we put out paper and pens for people to write notes to him or to us as a parents or to us as a family unit. It has been a wonderful set of keepsakes to read through; some left us advice, others gave us funny food for thought nuggets.

I would also think about any special mementos you might want to leave behind/buy now/make now (special books for reading to their children, baby blankets, etc.).

Try not to dwell on the time you don't have. Make what time you do have meaningful; sometimes just being is meaningful so don't try to be busy all the time. Finally don't worry because there will always be things left undone and unsaid. I am confident your children know how much you love them; after all you have spent their entire lives raising and loving them. Love is not things; it is the sum total of the devoted, kind, selfless daily acts and words given without thought which nurture the seeds of love well beyond the bounds of life.

Peace to you and your family.

I would put a note or card in the box for each special occasion in the future that you will miss e.g. wedding, graduation, first child, etc so they can open and read it at that time.

I am deeply sorry for your diagnosis. If there are any things that you want your children to have (christening gown, special blanket, or such) make it now and write special notes.

Make up your boxes and as you say, have the tape recorders and such for certain mile stones (16, 18, 21 birthdays). Include any special pictures that they drew that you loved with a special note from you. Have a picture of you and that child separately in the box.

If you can afford to go somewhere as a family, do it and enjoy it to the utmost.

Think positive and be confident in knowing that you are doing your best and just stop and smell the roses. If there are any special songs or a special service you want, tell the family what your wishes are. Write them down as well. Do this now while your mind is clear and you can express your wishes.

I say all this as a breast cancer survivor. I would want to go out swinging on the chandelier and partying. Have no regrets.

You and your family will be in my thoughts this coming year. I don't do candles as they can cause fires.

May you have joy, happiness and peace.

the other S.

Do you wear perfume? The sense of smell is tied the strongest to memory. A vial for each child. If not you may want to buy a few extra pillow cases/ T shirts and start sleeping with them, not on your pillow but in your bed some where. Vacuum seal them.

I am sorry for your limited time, but you have been given a gift. Ask them what they want.

I know this isn't the same but growing up I would steal my father and mother's shirts. I would sneak them into my luggage and bring them with me to school.

I wish you nothing but the best in this time. Much love to you and yours.

I am so sorry :-(. That is just devastating news. What about a second opinion? I am just so sorry.

I like the cookbook idea. Maybe include a short story about each recipe... Like who they are from, when you would make it.....,etc.

How about videos about the milestones...? Your and your husbands how we met story, your graduation thoughts for when kids graduate, how to be a good husband/wife, how to get along with inlaws,...just real life stuff.

What about a recording book of The Night Before Christmas with your voice telling the story for each of them? I know Hallmark/Amazon has those.

I will be thinking and praying for you and your family

oh no. gosh, so sorry. my heart is broken and i dont even know you. i just cant imagine.
one of my very best friends died four years ago of non hodgkins lymphoma and she left behind four babies. she was only 41. after her passing i was so scared that something like that would happen to me.... i mean, you just never know. Life is so unfair and can be taken away in a heartbeat. what i plan on doing for my kids if this ever happens is taking my thumb print and casting it into a locket for my babies. so that after i pass they have my thumb print in a locket they can wear as a necklace if they chose so they know that i will always be close to their heart. maybe this is something you can do too?
i will be praying for you and your family. God bless sweetie!

I am so sorry for you and your family. I would write the letters for them for when they hit major life events - those ones you don't want to miss. Don't miss them be there in writing or recording. What would you say when they get married or had a baby?

Yes, you are too young and so are they. But, be grateful for this time. I was only 21 when I lost my mother to a heart attack. We never got to say goodbye. Life is wonderful and precious and oh so brief. There is never enough and you are never done parenting your children. But, they're old enough that they are who you made them, you were their mother and that never goes away.

Live while you have time and thank you for being brave enough to share with us and to remind us all to do the same.

I'm so sorry to hear of you diagnoses.
It seems that you are planning a lot of things already. I lost my dad two years ago and would give anything to see him one more time. I have stuff that was his, handwriting, etc. What I treasure are memories. when we were growing up he made it a point to take us to activities-the zoo, circus, globetrotters, etc. When we were teens and he had cancer he still did so-sick, bald head and all. We went to concerts, weddings, etc. He was a strong, brave, awesome man and my best friend.
Have you seen the videos of dads walking their kids down the isle before they pass? I love the idea-walk each one down the isle in borrowed formal wear and then have a real reception.
My dad made it clear he didn't want our families traditional 3 day funeral. He wanted simply a memorial party. It was nice, upbeat, and we let the kids release balloons. His legacy is a reminder to celebrate life through everything. Cancer, kidney failure, amputation-he stayed upbeat and joked through it all. Now when life wears me down I know it's time to get outta the house and enjoy the kids like my dad would have done.

So sorry. Read the Last Lecture. It's very good and relevant.
I think videos with your voice would be good for the kids, too.
Wow, the kids are growing up (which is a good thing). The 45 YO I know has kids ages 12 and 14.

And make sure they know their health history b/c perhaps they'd get colonoscopies (or certain tests) earlier than average, to protect them. One side of the family with a similar history does similar.

Prayers for all; a very difficult post indeed.

Oh K., I am so sorry to see your post. My heart goes out to you. You will be in my thoughts and prayers.

I don't have any ideas and you've had lots of good ones yourself already.

Just wanted to send you a virtual <<hug>>.

Bless you, K.. I wish you love and support.

How heartbreaking. I admire your courage and your thoughtfulness.

I read once about a lady who wrote out cards for each significant event she was going to miss in her child's life. Graduation, engagement/ marriage, first baby, turning 30, etc. She left the cards with a trusted relative to be delivered on those special days. It helped keep her involved in her lives long after she was gone.

I wish you all the best.

K., I'm so very sorry. Bless your heart - I don't know how you wrote this.

I do think that it's important for your husband to understand why your diagnosis was missed. For your children's sake and helping them when you are gone, your husband should be working with a lawyer before you are too ill to give depositions. For those who thinks it's wrong to sue your doctor, they aren't the ones who are left behind by a mom whose day-in-and-day-out work actually costs a lot of money to hire someone to do. Your children will need the support and your husband doesn't need the added stress of dealing with money problems while he's going through the worst point of his life, mourning for you.

A picture album for the three of your kids that details your lives up til now would be very special. Your husband could continue the albums like scrap books, including their special achievements, and give them to the children when they graduate from high school. I created that for my older son, including all his college admission letters and high school honors. In addition, I included pictures of him when he was little with different family members, under the heading of "People Who Love You". You could put together part of this type of album, with instructions to your husband on how to finish them.

My mother did something similar for me and hid it in my suitcase when I went on my honeymoon. My husband and I opened our suitcases when we got to the hotel after the wedding reception, and to our delight, we sat on the bed looking at my childhood, including my teen years with my high school sweetheart, who I had just married. That's where I got the idea.

I hope that you will work with a grief counselor to help you help your family. The hospital's social workers can find that support for you and your husband, and someone who can work with your children. They are a good resource. Get your husband in there with you (how could he say no right now?) so that he gets the support before you are gone. It is hard for a man to accept help. After you are gone, he may not be willing to go to counseling, but he will need to do it for AT LEAST the sake of his children.

I wish you love and peace in this ending journey, K.. I don't know your religious affiliation, but I believe you will look down from another place (mine is heaven) and see those children from afar, growing and thriving.

Awe mama....I am so sorry.
When my Aunt was given six months to live she did a lot of things for her kids as well. Her kids ranged from 16-33. She had 6!
She wrote each child a very long letter that talked about what kind of baby, kid, adolescent, young adult they were. All her favorite memories of her children. She touched on their strengths and how proud she was of each one of her kids.
Then she made a CD where she recorded herself singing their favorite lullabies from when they were babies. At the time she already had grandchildren so these were songs that she was also singing with her gandbabies.
She did things that she had been waiting to do. She traveled, she laughed, she went to expensive restaurants. She LIVED.
There were a lot more family dinners, game nights, movie nights.
She actually lived a LOT longer then was expected, 5 years. She did no chemo and no radiation. She chose not to treat it at all.
She was a fantastic woman who I loved very much (in fact, it's been 3 years since she passed and as I am writing this I am crying).
I am so sorry that you are going through this. Life isn't fair.
L.

Wow, this was not the post I was expecting. What you are doing for your children will make a WORLD of difference in their lives. My dad died of cancer and the one thing I had wished he had done was leave a letter for me. What you are doing is well beyond a letter and will be cherished by them forever. The only suggestion I have is to go through all your special photos, awards the kids may have gotten in school, good report cards, and special momentos and put those in each kids box. I will keep you and your family in my thoughts and prayers.

I am so sorry. I am literally crying at my desk right now for you as I type this. Write as many letters as you can! Take as many pictures as you can! Scrapbook your memories and give to your kids. Also, don't forget to do these things for your husband as well! Stay strong!

I'm so sorry. I can't imagine how difficult this is for you and your family.

I really like your ideas as well as the other suggestions. Are you well enough to go on a special trip/vacation with your family this year? Take some pictures/video, make some new memories, and most of all enjoy the time together.

If finances would prevent your family from going on a vacation, I bet there are a lot of people who would like to donate to make that happen for you guys. If you are a part of a church, you could ask them. If not, you could ask friends to donate and/or help with a fundraiser. I know I would be more than happy to give money to a friend in a situation like yours.

Calendar reminders. Grab their phones and set future appointments - on brays or just because. Remember to set them on "repeat".

Trust - see a lawyer and find out about wills/inheritance in your state.

Flower deliveries - you pay/arrange flower delivery for x years.

I might also think through the rough times I have had and write "chapters" for certain rites of passage (So you had a baby. When your marriage gets rocky. How to keep calm when you lose a job.)

Xmas/birthday gifts for x number of years.

I am so sorry.

I think that we often spend much time on this site, that we share a part of us that no one outside of this site knows about us.

Go through your old posts of questions and response, edit the ones you deem need editing. Leave your password for your children to be able to go through and be able to read how you responded to life issues. This will take any guess work out and let them see a different side of you.

Again, I'm truly sorry.

Love and blessings.

I am SO SORRY. As mothers, I think this is what we all fear. You have time to let your kids know how much you love them and they will be ok. I have thought about what I would do in your shoes and what I want most is to be able to tell my kids about my struggles and how they seemed so important at the time yet I really was so young and it all worked out fine. Things like having your heart broken and the fun, crazy guy you love like crazy at age 22 likely isn't going to make a good husband. They probably won't listen as I didn't but I'd feel a need to tell them. Tell them how I was heart broken but got through it and things worked out. Or the job I hated but what I learned from it. Things like that. Let them know that when they fail or have troubles or are heart broken, you did too and things got better and you are looking down on them loving them from heaven. I'm so sorry again. I hope you find peace in the coming year.

Oh I'm so very sorry. My heart aches for you and your family.

I love the idea of recorders but I would also want video. I always thought that if I was giving such terrible news, I would want to video for my kids big events. Graduation, wedding, babies. I would want to be a part of that. Tell my daughter how I felt the day I married her Dad. What I hoped for her and her husband. How I felt when I was pregnant with them. How proud I was of them and how much I loved them and that leaving wasn't my choice but that I know I'm leaving knowing they are wonderful people and that I am just so damn proud of them and what a privilege it was being their mom.

Again, I'm so sorry and I will pray for you and your family.

Dear K.,

I am so sorry to hear about your health concerns. Don't worry about sounding like you're all over the place, you're allowed to, and tears can be healing! I am glad you have the time to make the most of the time you have l left...use it to your advantage.

I'm glad you're doing a voice recording. I haven't lost a parent yet, but one of the things I cherish most from my grandparents are the stories the taped and gave to me and my brother. It really helped in the grieving years later process to be able to pull out those old tapes and hear those stories.

Since we're talking audio tapes, maybe you could also do some video recordings of the whole family doing something special together. It's so important to make as many memories as you can, and your kids will appreciate being able to look back and watch the videos, and maybe share hem with their own kids. I know it may be sad for you think about missing out on grandkids, but think about how special it might be for your kids to share you with the grandkids. Just a thought.

Another thought is to make a special scrapbook for each of your kids. It could have pictures and other memorabilia of just the two of you. You can get small scrapbooks that would fit into the box you want to do.

I second the suggestion of writing letters to your kids. If at all possible, write at least some of them by hand, so they can remember what you handwriting looks like.

I can't think of anything else, but if anything else pops up, I will add to my post. Please know that I am keeping you close to my heart in thought and prayer often, as I am sure many of us are here at MP. Remember, it's ok to cry. Breathe too!

I am so sorry. I don't have any real advice but maybe make or buy something special for them for milestone days such as graduation or wedding so a part of you can be with them on their special day. If you are crafty at all you could make a special blanket or afgan for each of them to use for their babies as the have them.

Years ago I saw baby hats made from hankys. You fold the hanky in half, stitch the corners together at the fold, this makes the hat, then sew ribbons on the other corners to tie under the chin. On the baby's wedding day the stitches come out to make a bridal hanky for the bride. Then as the new family has babies the stitches go back in to make the hat. The baby hat is worn for the trip hom from the hospital and on their baptism day. Then put away for their wedding. A part of you will be with each future generation.

Again I am so sorry --- sending hugs.

I am so sorry. May God extend your time with your kids.

You could write a letter to each for their wedding day. Tell them your wishes, any advice, a funny story.

Try to inject your humor wherever you can. It's part of your uniqueness and will invoke happy thoughts.

K.- I'm so sorry. Your ideas are great. I would say set aside something for them to carry with them on their wedding day. Something special for each one of them so they will know you are with them. These types of occasions are no doubt going to be the hardest for them.
My mom was diagnosed with colon cancer when I was 12, and then breast cancer when I was 19. In both cases, she was young. That's why I want to mention this to you. I don't know if your doctor has talked to you about this, but ask your doctor about genetic screening for Lynch Syndrome. I don't know your family medical history, but it could be worth looking into at this point. Google it to learn more, if you aren't familiar already.
I only mention this because I just recently convinced my mom to undergo the test, and we are awaiting the results on her now. It's important to test the family member with colon cancer or other type of cancer presented with Lynch. And this could be vital genetic information to pass to your children and possibly their children, and so on.
I hope you don't think me insensitive to mention this. I can't even begin to imagine all the range of emotions you are going through. Please come in and check in with us from time to time. I know I will be thinking of you.

My dear K.,

My heart is breaking for you and your family, and tears have been streaming down my face as I have been reading all your responses. I can't add anything to the many wonderful ideas you have received. I still hold out for a miracle for you.

Much love to you.

I'm so very sorry. I'm praying for you and your family. I love Lisa's advice on the cookbook. And I would let my kids participate in helping with my personal care when the time comes. In my line of work I work with a lot of comfort care patients and unfortunately some have young kids. For the kids 14 and over I always encourage them to help with washing their parents hair and brushing it, painting nails, etc. I feel that it makes for amazing memories of closeness and makes them feel they helped which does a lot for their psyche. I'm praying for you and your kids. I'd tell them I love them everyday and I would try to hold my young when I'm mad. I'd do all the things your doing. Make a memory book, voice recordings, but I love the cook book the most. Nothing says memories like a favorite meal. Maybe make a diary for yourself and every other day write in a different book so that they each have one and each is different. Talk to each child in your diary and each one will be a special memory for them to remember you. And you won't have the pressure to miss something if you keep it up. It could be therapeutic for you and them.

K.....

my heart, my love and my prayers go out to you and your family. Especially you! I am beyond sadden to hear of your diagnosis. I fear every day that one day my son will loose me. A fear i live everyday. Can only imagine the sadness in your heart.

if money & health allow it....be home this next year with your kids. Spend countless time/hours with them. Do a bucket list of what you always wanted to do with your children. DO THEM! Do lil things daily for them. Leave special notes in their room, leave them small little gifts, anything to tell them daily you love them and how special they are to you.

as u stated do recordings. I think hearing your voice and seeing your picture, honestly would be enough for them. Also leaving them a special message on important milestones they experience in their lives would be a nice touch. On graduation, a first job, etc. All i would want if i lost my mom, is to hear her voice. Wow that was tough to write between my tears!

Time, hugs, love, kisses, LOTS of hugs and kisses!!! that is all i would ever WANT!!!

sorry i have to end my post...i am truly truly sorry you have to go through this. Prayers all the way around for you!

xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxoxox

<3
Summer

Hi K.,

I am so very sorry! Everyone had some great suggestions for your box.

Some have suggested seeking treatment to prolong your life. I recalled a documentary that I watched years ago about a woman with Stage 4 cancer. While she can't be cured, she endeavored to slow her cancer's growth and prolong her life. She was diagnosed 10 years ago, and is alive today. Here is the link:
http://kriscarr.com/about/about-kris/

Best wishes!

aw, K.. damn, damn, damn. this just sucks. i am so very, very sorry.
i think you have some great ideas here. pictures, videos, voice recordings, letters, things to open in the future, stories of your childhood that will be lost when you go- all of these are important.
but please don't get so caught up in 'they must have this when i'm gone' that you don't focus on making each day, each moment count while you're here. sometimes trying to catch and record each precious moment can take away from the experience. try to make sure that your time with them is also low-key, goofy, funny, light-hearted and bright, at least some of the time. you won't have to try hard to find the deep and serious and heart-wrenching stuff. just don't forget that it's okay to giggle, and for all of you to enjoy each other WITHOUT thinking 'we've got to treasure this second! grab it!'
i pray that your precious time is filled with light, love and laughter.
khairete
S.

K. So so sorry to hear that my heart and prayers go out to you and your family. Some ideas maybe are pictures of each of them with a memory attached to it in your hand writing. My kids always associate me with the smell of my perfume that I always were so maybe a small bottle of perfume that is just you or something of the like. Silly as it maybe maybe a note kissed with your lipstick. Make lots of memories with them now to lots of pictures and videos.

Lots of hugs to you and your family!

Your kids will need a safe place where they can share their pain (they may not want to do so with your or their dad). So, check with your local children's hospital for support groups or counselors that can help them with the crazy/awful feelings they may be feeling.

G-d bless you.

First off I want to say Please Don't Give Up!

My cousin, bless her soul, had the same cancer, she would not go and try CTCA (which they said she could be cured) or any other type of alternative medicine, and I believe her oncologist was to blame. She fought for 4 years after given the same diagnosis, only worse than what you have. When she was diagnosed she was at stage 4 terminal colon cancer that had metastasized to her liver, ovaries, uterus, and lungs. From her diagnosis to her death was 4 years.
That being said, I would beg you to try anything you can to get healed. Plus, make sure you spend all the time you can with them. Play games, tell them how much you love them, and hug them often. I know your kids are older than my cousins are, but please make sure that your husband will make sure that your family sees your kids. Remind him that they are all they have left of you.
I will be praying for you.

I didn't read all the suggestions but wanted to say don't give up.
In response to your post try
http://www.projectrepat.com/
They take old shirts and make quits for you.
Due to my mom's failing health I video taped her reading to my children. Although yours are older maybe you can do this for your grand children to be?