A Dairy Addict Cutting Out Dairy...

Updated on July 10, 2008
N.H. asks from Murrieta, CA
34 answers

So after reading the stories of many other moms I am beginning to realize my breastfed son is having issues with my dairy intake. I first noticed the correlation with his gassiness after my dairy intake, but am now realizing that the dairy is probably causing his spit ups/vomitimg after eating as well. My question is how do you do it, how do you cut out dairy? I love my milk. I mean I alone consume at least a gallon a week, not to mention cheese (which I put on everything), and butter. I am seriously finding that quitting dairy is harder than quitting cigarettes or alcohol, go figure.

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So What Happened?

So I went to Henry's today and was really suprised by the options. I got soy, rice, and almond milk (the almond isn't that bad). I also found soy yogurt and the dreaded vegan cheese everyone talked about, I'll still try it. I also love the idea of hummus, which they sold for cheap & had quite a few varities of (I had a turkey pita with cilantro jalepeno hummus for dinner). I have to be honest though, I give those of you credit who have to avoid all milk/casein, milk is in everything-cereal, bread, Nutrigrain bars, etc. I still feel like I can't avoid it completely. I did also talk with my son's doc today, funny thing is she doesn't think it's the diet (but she wants me to stay on the diet for the time being), she thinks I'm overfeeding my son. He went from 7.7 to 10 lbs in two weeks & apparently he's overweight for his height, woops :( So now we're on a schedule, no more feedings on demand.

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C.F.

answers from Los Angeles on

I hear you. I had to cut back on dairy while bf, but after I went back to it more.
Recently I had kidney stones and have to have them blasted up so I could pass them. I was supposed to cut dairy and increase citrus -- this lasted like 2 months last summer until the stress of the school year sent me back to my old habits. (I buy 4 gallons/week. ) At least osteoporosis wont' be a problem!

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S.B.

answers from Visalia on

Oh my gosh I hear ya! My son is on a wheat free/dairy free diet and we sneak milk and cheese in the garage like its crack:) There is a great book "The Milk Free Kitchen" also we use almond milk for cereal. The chocolate alomond mild is good too. You can replace some stuff w/ coconut milk too. Depending on his sensitivity you may not have to totally eliminate it perhaps just cut back to one thing a day. If you want to email me directly I have another website link that might help! ____@____.com Good Luck!
Steph

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S.T.

answers from Los Angeles on

My daughter had the exact same thing. Uggghhhh! It was difficult! But, it's amazing what mom's sacrifice for the well-being of our children. I drank soy milk and switched to soy yogurt (found a great one at Trader Joe's) and goat and sheep cheeses (which I found at Bristol Farms). I never gave up butter, but didn't use a lot of it normally. I also didn't eliminate anything with dairy ingredients in the product. The cheese was definitely the hardest for me as the alternatives are strong flavors and I had trouble finding wonderfully satisifying alternatives. I didn't care for soy cheese, but found my daughter liked it when she was eating solids. They come in slices, like those we put on our hamburgers. I think they're called Veggie Slices. Since you put cheese on "everything" the slices might be an okay alternative...don't know. I just looked at the situation this way...giving up dairy is a lot better than listening and dealing with a screaming, unhappy baby. I have a bib that says, "A happy child is a happy home". Maybe not completely, but for me it was most true. I wish you the best in this difficult time. But, it will pass.

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A.M.

answers from San Diego on

Good luck! I love dairy too and I feel your pain! Soymilk isn't bad, but it just isn't the same...

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T.

answers from Las Vegas on

NH,

You just do it. My now 20 month old is allergic to dairy and soy. Soy is actually much harder to avoid than dairy. But, just in general, it is just a matter of deciding your baby's health is more important to you than being able to eat cheese. The transition is a little painful but you adjust. You can get dairy free margarine (Nucoa is the one I use, it comes in sticks in a gold box). I found that it was easier to avoid foods with dairy than to find substitues (and in my case all the subs are soy which didn't work either). I did find that I could still enjoy some of the foods I did before (like tacos) just by skipping the dairy parts.

One thing I did that really helped was to use more olive oil on stuff and start using more herbs and spices. One of the reasons dairy is so good is because it adds so much flavor to food. So finding ways to add flavor to my food without adding dairy was really important.

As far as milk substitutes, soy milk is okay and so is rice milk. You just have to get past the idea that they are going to taste like regular milk because they don't.

I was dairy and soy free for more than a year (through 2 Thanksgivings and 2 Christmases). In some ways it did suck but not nearly as much as having a sick, puking baby sucked.

:-)T.

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J.C.

answers from San Diego on

Hi N....i feel for you, I really do.
However, I started cutting back on dairy years ago and so it's much easier for me these days. I do love some soy milk (Trader Joe's has a great one). But soy isn't your only option. Goat's milk cheese is wonderful..the soft chevres, hard cheeses too. Your local big supermarkets are unlikely to stock them (ralph's etc...) but if you have a Wholefoods or Trader Joe's close by, then check out what they have. I also developed a taste for Almond Milk and Rice Milk. No it's not cow's milk, but once you start experimenting with the range of options out there, you'll be pleasantly surprised. Nothing will ever taste like cow's milk, so you need to be done with that craving. But enjoy the other explorations....

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R.S.

answers from San Diego on

My girlfriend did a scientific study and found that cheese IS more addictive than cigs! LOL--but seriously! Han in there--the first week is the hardest. Did you know most supermodels only drink rice or soy milk? It doesn't keep fat on your body--which will be a nice side effect. But once you're in--it's much much easier. Seriously--just the first week,girl!!

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S.M.

answers from Los Angeles on

Hi,

I have never responded to mamasource but found I could possibly shed some light on cutting out diary. ;( Like you, I LOVE my dairy and when I was told to cut it out because my daughter couldn't tolerate my dairy intake (she had mucus and blood streaks in her stool) I didn't know how or where to begin. First of all, it is VERY difficult but also very possible. I went cold turkey and as I was instructed, cut out all dairy products, soy, casein, and whey (be careful.... casien, whey, and soybean oil is in everything)! This meant cutting out any desserts and almost all breads too, except for whole wheat pita. I started eating my cereal and coffee with Rice Dream (not bad, you can get used to it) and I used almond butter. Don't bother with the vegan cheese options, they're terrible! Anyhow, lots of oatmeal, eggs, veggies, chicken, turkey, fish, (being able to still eat meats saved me... oh, and you can have Hot Tamales). :) The positive side is this: your precious baby will most likely feel better and spit up less after only a few days of the elimination diet- THAT will be your inspiration... At least it was for me. Couldn't have done it without knowing that I was doing it for my daughter. The good news is, I lost a few pounds and I only ended up having to do it for about 6 weeks. She "outgrew" it- like her Dr. said she would, especially once I started her on solids. Great luck to you...You can do it!!!

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E.N.

answers from San Diego on

I noticed you got lots of other recommendations for substitutions, I thought I would tell you about a butter substitute. It is called Earth Balance, comes in a yellow tub, you can get it at Trader Joe's in the dairy section and some other health food stores. My sister started buying it for her husband when he developed a lactose intolerance. I tried it and I really liked it, in fact I used it for a long time in place of butter. Hope you like it if you decide to try it!

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M.W.

answers from San Diego on

I just recently cut out most dairy too. My son is allergic to all dairy. He is 20 months now and we still nurse a few times a day and eat table food.

I buy Soygurt, Silk chocolate and vanilla milk, veggie cheese slices, margarine, soy veggie spread, Tofutti cream cheese (tastes just like the reg. stuff-at Henry's by the milk)
All of this tastes great and I've lost weight too.
It's not much more expensive either.

I also quit meat, so I found a lot of cheese free (which is considered vegan) at www.goveg.com and Mothering.com

Once you committ to buying substitutes, you will get used to it. Cheese is hard to substitue, but check out the Tofutti brand, you may be surprise at how it compares.

Good luck and it's great that you are doing this for your son. :O)

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S.C.

answers from Los Angeles on

My son had problems with milk while I was bf (later at the age of 2 he became allergic to it himself, so watch out for that down the line) and I had to eliminate it from my diet, along w/almost all dairy. With some trial and error, I found I could consume small amounts of certain dairy (never milk, ice-cream or yogurt) w/o causing problems for him. I just consoled myself that it was for my son, and it wasn't too hard, especially after the first few weeks when I adjusted. Truthfully, those foods are so high in fat and just aren't good for us, anyway!! Hang in there, the first few weeks (withdrawal!!) are the toughest, and keep your eye on the prize---a healthy, happy baby!!

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A.R.

answers from Los Angeles on

See if he feels better if you switch to organic raw milk thats from cows that are not fed grains but are allowed to graze and are free from antibiotics and growth hormones.

We consume this milk in my household...and I as a lactose intolerant person have had no problems digesting it.

Pasteurized milk can be hard to digest if your son is lactose intolerant.

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S.F.

answers from Los Angeles on

I sympathize. I tried soy milk which I really didn't like.. So I tried rice mlk, it's much better than soy but definitely not the "real" thing. I like the rice milk in cereal & oatmeal, but usually don't drink it in a cup. I love milk too & this was hard for me. I started taking calcium pills because I know I'm not consuming enough thru the rice milk, and we don't want to deprive ourselves..our teeth & bones will pay the price. I still eat small amounts of cheese & occasionally sour cream, it doesn't seem to bother my son's diet..thank goodness. Hang in there.. you're definitely not alone. And I just remind myself that the rewards of breast feeding definitely outweigh the small sacrifices that we make during this precious time in our babies lives.

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R.W.

answers from Reno on

Hi there. I just wanted to commiserate with you about this problem. I've been off dairy for almost 5 months now. It is SO tough. Here are some changes that I've made: I drink Lactaid milk (can't tell the difference between Lactaid and real milk). I eat soy yogurt (the "Silk" brand is the best). I eat margarine instead of butter. I have goat cheese when I really want some cheese (this is the hardest part). I've give up chocolate too (NOOOOOOO!) because there is milk in chocolate. I don't eat baked goods if I know there is milk or butter in them...Breakfast foods are the toughest - pancakes, waffles, french toast...I make all of them now with Lactaid. Cream salad dressings are out the window...only oil for now. Whole Foods has a lot of nice gluten-free foods.

I am a serious pizza and ice cream addict, and it has been REALLY hard to abstain from both. That said, I have to tell you that the difference in my baby (almost 5 months old now) is HUGE. I can see a big difference in him when I blow it and accidentally eat something with dairy. It takes a while to get used to the mindset.

Best of luck to you. Email me if you want to chat more.

R.

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C.C.

answers from Los Angeles on

I found that with my daughter it was mainly straight milk that was causing her problems. Yogurt and/or cheese seemed to go over okay. I've discovered vanilla-flavored soy-milk as a yummy alternative to my nightly glass of milk, and unflavored/unsweetened soy milk a good substitute in my cereal. Maybe you can start with just cutting out milk and seeing if it's really necessary to go the whole nine yards. Good luck!

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S.K.

answers from Los Angeles on

You've gotten lots of responses on how to substitute milk and cheese products. For another alternative, how about asian food? There's no dairy in asian foods (except americanized asian food). Check out foodnetwork's recipes for all kinds of dishes, asian chicken noodle soup, asian stir fry, asian dessert using coconut milk, etc. The dark green leafy vegetables gives you the calcium you need plus iron as well. Remember there are many types of 'Asian' food; chinese, thai, vietnamese, korean. Just type the word into the search field. Also, some mexican dishes have no cheese in it. Peruvian foods, hawiian foods are also good choices. Variety is the spice of life. Most recipes have ratings on them so you can learn from other people who've tried it and make variations on it.
BTW, you may not have to give up everything. I was able to eat yogurt and hard cheeses still.

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N.D.

answers from Los Angeles on

I cut out dairy because it was giving my 4 week old terible gas. As soon as I did the gas went away completely. I was never a big milk drinker but I am a huge cheese eater. I just eat sheep and goat cheese - it's just as good and doesn't cause the gas (at least not for my son).

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A.S.

answers from Los Angeles on

My lactaction consultant recommended cutting out all dairy for three weeks, this includes all dairy byproducts like casein, as some others commented. The dairy can store in your fat for up to three weeks. Then slowly reintroduce to see what your baby can't tolerate. As soon as I reintroduced ANYTHING the gas started up again for my son. But, after a couple of months, I tried again and now I can eat any dairy and it doesn't bother him at all. You probably won't have to eliminate dairy for the rest of the time you breastfeed. Your son will hopefully grow out of it.

I like the Trader Joes brand soy milk in the blue box. I also love the TJs brand soy ice cream vanilla with chocolate chips and dried cherries. I agree with others that the soy cheese is awful, better to avoid it all together. Plus, some soy cheeses have casein. . . go figure!

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M.S.

answers from Las Vegas on

Dear NH:

Yes, it's hard. But just like mamas-to-be cut out alcohol, sushi, aspirin, whatever...while they're pregnant, this will really make things easier for all of you. My consumption of peanut butter (this is before the danger was well-known) caused my almost exclusively breastfed son to nearly die when he was 16 months old. That made it really easy for me to quit, obviously, but what if your child develops a full-bore allergy to dairy? What a shame that would be!

You are such a clever mama to figure out the cause of your son's problem that I'm sure you'll be able to find a suitable substitute. Notice I haven't thought of any yet! Ha! You're right...it will be very hard but I encourage you to stick with it.

BTW, when my children were little they were also allergic to wheat, apples, eggs, whey, casein, etc. Can you IMAGINE how difficult it was to feed them? Somehow they continued to grow but it was such a difficult time because it took a lot of imagination to prepare food. As a result, they outgrew almost all their allergies (except peanuts and almonds) and life is much easier now...it's WORTH IT!

Okay, I just thought of some "maybe" substitutes. I don't recommend soy (you don't want to give him a different allergy) or that would be the obvious choice, but what do you think of whole wheat or rice pasta with fresh pesto made with everything BUT the cheese? The pinenuts would give it a creamy texture which might fool you into thinking "cheese", don't you think? Or some baked polenta with a terrific mushroom and tomato sauce? Again, texture? Maybe?

Oh! I just thought of another benefit. You'll probably regain your pre-pregnancy weight really quickly as a result of your change in diet! I hope that cheers you up!

Best wishes,

M.

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M.M.

answers from Los Angeles on

You might want to make sure you so some research on soy products before you rely on them too heavily. Soy products are not all they're cracked up to be. They can cause hormone disruption among other things. I love my dairy too so I had to compromise & try no to do too much dairy or soy. I heard once that the purpose of cow's milk is to take a 50 lb calf & turn it into a 300 lb heffer in 6 months, lol! So you will hear of people losing weight after they get off dairy. I'll be reading your other responses because I'm still conflicted about dairy and soy. I'm with you - it's hard!

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P.A.

answers from Los Angeles on

As a fellow dairy addict, I feel your pain. I've been (almost) dairy free for about a year now as my dd showed sensitivity to dairy around 4 months. The only good news I have for you is that it gets easier once you've been off it awhile. You'll have to get your protein from other sources...sometimes I grab leftover meat to snack on. I'd do nuts but my sweetie is allergic to them. Try soy milk, rice milk, nut milks. But you can do it - it's not forever, and just think how you'll enjoy dairy when you can eat it again!!!

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K.A.

answers from Las Vegas on

Dairy is bad for everyone, adults and children! Sorry to tell you this as I am certain you have always believed it was good for you but the fact is that our government is not always correct. Dark leafy greens are the best source of calcium on the planet NOT dairy and certainly not non-organic dairy. Any natural doctor will tell you that the growth hormones, high levels of puss and antibotics in non-organic dairy are reasons in and of themselves to not intake dairy.

The good news is there is lots of things you can do to help cut it out of your life. Trader Joes has a wonderful shredded soy cheese option that tastes really great, melts well and will stay good in your frig a long time. Soy milk and almond milk are also good options just be careful with the flavors (vanilla & chocolate) because of the sugar increase. Dairy has lots of carbs in it so you may be craving carbs which is very common in todays highly processed, over sugared world. There are tons and tons of non-dairy options at stores like wild oats and whole foods. Plus you can increase your raw vegetable and fruit intake which will help in many ways.

I promise you this, once you begin cutting dairy out of your diet you will feel a lot better! You won't even realize how junky it made you feel until you cave in and eat it again after not having it for awhile. Your body will make it perfectly clear just how much it does not want it! After eating dairy makes you fee aweful a few times your desire for it will wayne.

Good Luck!

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T.T.

answers from Los Angeles on

Hello, "NH",

Will you take a look at www.realmilk.org?

How about raw dairy? What a gloriously nutritious alternative to dead pasteurized milk that promotes disease. Raw dairy is a powerhouse!

My very best,

T.

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L.Z.

answers from Los Angeles on

It is difficult! I did cut out most dairy, chocolate, broccoli, potatoes and beans for a while when suffering similar symptoms with my infant son. I ate a lot of turkey & ham sandwiches and fruit smoothies using frozen fruit and juice!!! But, as my baby got older, I found I could comsume a little here and there with no problems. I breast-fed until he was about 14 months old and by the time he was about 9 -10 months I was eating my normal diet again.

It's not forever! Hang in there.
Best wishes :)

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M.C.

answers from Honolulu on

For me, the pain that my child was experiencing and the lack of sleep that I experienced as a result were enought to overcome my need for ice cream. Believe it or not, now I actually prefer soy milk!! You just have to do it, and no cheating. Try many different brands of soymilk - they are all VERY different in taste. Rice milk too. For a creamy indulgence, almond milk is fun. I know you can do this....really. You just need to decide that you really want to and that the advantages outweigh the cravings. Find substitutes. You really do need to experiment with various brands, though because my nephew's favorite soymilk is GROSS to me, but I love the kind that Costco sells (it is organic, too!) Good luck - you just need to decide to do it and then you can do anything!!

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B.M.

answers from Los Angeles on

Dear N.,

I know this is late - and I haven't read your responses. What I want to tell you is simply to be careful cutting out dairy that you make sure you are getting enough calcium for you and the baby! The requirement for a post-pubescent is the calcium equivalent of 32 oz of milk . . .

Good luck!
B.

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C.H.

answers from San Diego on

I cut down on dairy years ago when I discovered I'm lactose-intolerant -- made a HUGE difference for me. Anyway, I recommend plain Silk soymilk. It tastes good and is not pasty, and it dissolves well in coffee (other brands make lumps). If you get plain instead of vanilla, you can use it anywhere you'd use milk -- ie, soups, etc. If it's the lactose that's the problem, you can probably continue with hard cheeses and yogurt -- the lactose gets processed by the microbes and so they're easier to digest. Plus the acidophilus in the yogurt will make it easier for you to digest the lactose. But if it's more of a food allergy, then you might need to cut it all out...
Also, instead of ice cream try dole fruit and juice bars or fruit sorbets -- some are really good!

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M.S.

answers from Los Angeles on

I cut out dairy in early Decemeber (mind you, I now have some cheese or eggs every now and then) but when I cut it out, it was cold turkey. Not just dairy, but any and all food products with dairy in it. Since I'm not a fan of milk, that was easy and the rest wasn't as hard as I thought it would be. Anyway, I sought support at Vegan websites to make sure I was getting the proper amount of calcium, vit D, etc.. BEFORE I quit. Long story short - I never felt better! and I lost fat and gained muscle (I was working out as well). It would be easier if you can eliminate these foods from your home but if someone else eats them then that would be tough. For me, finding out where something comes from is all that I need to no longer want it. You could visit www.peta.org or I think milksucks.com there are many sites out there that will tell you the not so good stuff about dairy. It might be a harsh road to take, but it worked for me.

In your case, you might just want to remove one thing at a time.

With my first, I cut out caisen (you probably already know how hard this is, since it's in about everything!) I noticed a big changed in my daughter, less spit up, gas, etc.. After a while I was able to add it back in and she was fine. So, don't think you'll have to eliminate something the whole time you are breastfeeding.

Best wishes to you,
M.

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B.B.

answers from San Diego on

It's not easy. I did it for 3 months and found it to be really hard at first..but it does get easier. My little one did so much better when I was dairy/soy free. However, now that she is older, we finally got her tested and she is not allergic. It is funny looking back to think I didn't really have to cut it out entirely, but it was worth it for her to feel better. For us, it ended up being diagnosed as GI issues with digestion and severe reflux. Try cutting it out for a month or so and then slowly introduce a little bit back in to see how he tolerates it. So sorry you have to go through this. There are numerous websites devoted to dairy free diet and there are many options such as rice milk, soy yogurt etc. Good luck!

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M.S.

answers from Los Angeles on

Here's something different for you to explore - perhaps you can have it all! The problem may be your baby has a sensitivity or allergy to dairy products. You can have that tested by an naet certified doctor by a non-invasive manner, with you being a surrogate for the testing. Then if your son tests positive, his allergy can be cured. I believe you then could eat dairy to your heart's content. My baby grand daughter has been cured of many allergies that were seriously affecting her health. If you would like my doctor's name and phone number, drop me a line. He is willing to to sit down and explore whether naet techniques are something you might be interested in - i.e., a free consultation.

M.

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P.R.

answers from Santa Barbara on

You may not have to cut ALL dairy. Identify what you consume the most of and start by cutting that. I was already using soy milk before my baby was born, but when she got a bit gassy and the doctor mentioned the dairy thing, I cut back on cheese because I was eating a lot of it. I started eating a lot of hummus because you can use it in place of dairy sometimes (as a sandwich spread, as a dip for veggies) and it has tons of protein so it's very satisfying. For some reason, the hummus can satisfy my craving for cheese even now. If you're not used to eating it, don't eat too much at once (it is made from beans, after all!) and avoid the kinds with garlic because that too can cause gas for your baby.

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T.W.

answers from San Luis Obispo on

Oh dear! All I can say is good luck with that. I used to have a 3-gallon/week habit myself! For whatever reason, I'm just not that into milk anymore, but still do a LOT of dairy. Again, good luck!

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K.R.

answers from Santa Barbara on

yes, I know it is hard at first. I have done this, as has many of my kids.
The best substitute for you would be Rice Milk, Soy can be as hard to digest as cows milk.
Trader Joe's has a new Organic Rice milk that is pretty good and not that expensive, it is about the same price as milk.
Use this instead of milk in all situations/I often substitute juice when a recipe calls for milk (say muffins, pancakes, waffles etc.) but also use Rice milk.
I always just eliminate the cheese on everything else. You could try Sheep/Goat cheese and see. My daughter has an intolerance to cows milk but is fine with goat milk/goat cheese or sheeps cheese. After going off cheese/dairy for 3 weeks, try to introduce one of these and see what happens.
I get coconut oil instead of butter in recipes, but butter may not bother him, this you can try out. The coconut oil is much better for you too. You can get that at Tropical Traditions-get the cold pressed coconut oil. There isn't really any flavor to it.
There are rice cheeses but they contain casein which is the protein found in cows milk so...don't know what good that is!
Once you switch over, you'll see you feel better and so will your son.
Any questions don't hesitate to ask!
K.
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