Good post, Denise.
I'm O. who has been accused of being overprotective. And, in some cases, I absolutely agree. I've also been accused of letting my children do things that are dangerous. Again, I see their point.
We need to let our children explore the world when they are developmentally ready to. And I believe that we, as their parents, are the best suited to determine this. Whereas some people allow their children to cross the street at 4 or 5 (yes, in my neighborhood, it happens even at 3!) I don't believe my son was ready to cross alone until he was 8, because he could not control his impulses. I did not feel he was ready to judge whether an approaching car was coming too fast for him to make it safely across the street. (long, straight, street that you can see cars coming 1/4 mile away)
So, though I had trouble with understanding the parents who allowed their 5 yo to cross when I wouldn't let mine, I had to accept that they knew their child best, and would not allow their child to do something they felt they couldn't handle. (But I would have appreciated those same parents accepting that I knew my child and knew he wasn't ready yet, rather than calling me a helicopter mom.)
My mom and several of my friends had a fit when I allowed my son to bike to the grocery store for me a few months ago. But, my son is 12 now. The store is only 2 miles away, and he could stay on sidewalks the whole way. The only busy street he had to cross, I told him to cross at a certain point because I know that's where the cars slow down because it's coming up to a curve and a stop sign. I trust that my son would make a lot of noise if anyone at the store tried to approach him. He knows how to go through the self checkout. So I had no problem with it. (Well, not quite true.....I was worried to death the whole time he was gone. But, I kept it to myself, because it was time for him to try something like this, and it really boosted his confidence that he could accomplish it, and that I would trust him to do it.)
Now, my friend allows her child (in my son's class) to ride his bike to school - 6.5 miles - on roads that are hilly, curvy, and people drive about 50 - 60 mph. This horrifies me. I drive this road every day to take my own children to school. I know how the people drive. It's crazy. And I've seen many of them swerve as they text and drive, or just answer the phone. So, while I understand that her son knows the rules of the road; it's the drivers that I don't trust. There's no way in hell that I would allow my son to do this (though he has begged me). So, yes, I'm definitely not in agreement with her decision to allow him to do this, but....it's not my call. And I keep my mouth closed, (after expressing my concern O. time).
So, to reiterate, we have to each allow our children to explore the world as they are ready to, and we have to trust that the children's parents know when this is.
We need to not judge someone "careless" or a "bad parent" because they allow their child to do something we would not allow.
And we need to not tell people they need to read "Free Range Kids" just because they keep a tighter rein on their children than we do.
O. last thing, Denise. You said "While we'd like to, we can't prevent our kids from getting hurt." And though I do understand what you mean, I have to say, we should not look at it that way. We should not want to prevent them from ever getting hurt, because if they don't get hurt sometimes, they will miss out on some really important learning experiences. Yes?
So let's all continue to prepare them the best we can for what is out there; be brave, take a deep breath, and trust.......trust.........and send them on their way. Because it is such a wonderful world.....