A Biting/hiting 2 Year Old

Updated on September 22, 2006
T.M. asks from Mc Lean, IL
7 answers

My two year old has a relly bad problem with bitting and hitting her sister.I'm afraid that people are going to look at the marks on my older daughter and think my husband or i did it, My 4 year old can be really passive- but my two year old is a pistol. I don't know how to brake her of her biting and hittin. She has actully drawn blood from her sister by bitting her. And left brusies on hsr from hitting her with toy's or throwing toy's at her. I have tried time out tried talking to her tried yelling witch i hate to do but i relly don't knowwhat to do i feel sosorry for my 4 year old just tonight she grabed a fist full of her siter hair and pulled itried to get her to let go but she had a death grip and ended up pulling a chunk of hair out- I know siblings fight but is it relly normal for this kind of aggression.I would appricate any help. Thank you.

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So What Happened?

I thank you all for youe suggestions and some of you have leaned twords maybe she sees violence but honestly if anything i shy away from hitting my kids and my husband woudn't hurt a fly. He gets mad at me when i slap there hands. But i tried letting my older daughter bite her sister back to day and my youngest had a look of shock on her face when i diddn't say anything-- i told her she shoudn't have bit her sister. will see how it goes my older daughter left for her ece class so my younger one is naping. I think all she may need is a lesson on how it feels.

More Answers

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K.B.

answers from Wichita on

Well with my children, if they bit me I bit them back(not to hard, but yet hard enough) that would help break them. Also with the older siblings I let them do the same back as well. I tried the yelling, time out, and so on. But it didn't stick, I had to show them exactly what they were doing was hurting. Eventually they understood. Now I don't have a problem, other than the usually sibling rivalry such as she's looking at me, or copying me.

You may not like it, but tough love seems to work the best. Good luck.

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S.G.

answers from Peoria on

the way a slowed my 3 year olds bad habit of biting and hitting is to have his sister bite or hit him back when he did it to her. i say slowed cause my son has some behavior issues he is in hterapy for. but i do know that if your oldest does nothing and just lets the youngest do it then she will continue because she can and your oldest doesnt "fight" back. i would say a couple of times of getting the behavior back after giving it and the youngest will realize sissy isnt just gonna take it anymore she will give up. let me know if this works

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N.C.

answers from Oklahoma City on

Hi~
I had this problem with my son when he was 2. I know most people would not suggest this but...I tried the time out, spanking, taking away toys, etc. I found that those punishments never fit the crime. I was like you trying to find solutions. One day I accidently bit my son's finger when he was feeding me a cracker. He was histerical but needless to say, I turned it into a learning lesson and he never bit anyone again. It seems like you have to find the right punishment for the child and their environment. My son had never been bitten so he didn't grasp the fact that it really hurts until it happened to him. Hope this helps. Good luck with your daughters!

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S.S.

answers from Wichita on

My daughter did the same thing with my son. She was so mean and he just took it. Several suggestions, have you tried time out, or better yet when she does that put her in time out and do something fun in the room with your other child so that she sees what you are doing and tell her that when she stops being mean to her sister that she can participate next time also. It sounds kind of mean and trust me I hated to do it but I finally had to tell my son to bite her back and when he did that was the end of that. Whatever you do make sure that you stop it now because otherwise she will start thinking that she can treat everyone like that, the other child will get resentful towards her sister and will have a hard time standing up for herself. Good luck to you, trust me I know it is not easy. I speak from experience! :)

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L.F.

answers from Joplin on

I have a 4 yr old daughter that is very high tempered and I found myself wanting to pull my hair out. I tried time out, screaming, trying to reason with her, taking toys away, everything we could think of. I then went to a psychologist to see if they could suggest anything and they suggested a book "1-2-3 Magic" by Thomas W. Phelan Ph.D. It's a different approach to the whole time out thing. It's working wonders with my daughter. It takes a whole lot of discipline from yourself as the parent though. It's kind of like the whole "I'm going to count to 3 then it's time out" except that you can't talk or show emotion to the child when you count. There's a little more to it than just that though. I know it sounds like it wouldn't work, but if you keep with it and stay firm it works. It puts the parent back into the drivers seat. I highly recommend you get the book and read it, if you can stick with it, it will work. I have read the book and have been using this technique myself, so if you have any questions you can email me. ____@____.com

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D.S.

answers from Oklahoma City on

I personally never had this problem, but a friend did. She was only able to break her son after she started spraying him with water. You have to catch her in the act and spray her with cold water. Just carry around a small spray bottle and have your older daughter yell or something so you know when it is happening and spray the younger one. I know it sounds mean but it worked for my friend. Good Luck.

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B.S.

answers from Rockford on

When my daughter was that age she pulled my hair several times and when she wouldn't stop I no matter what I did, I just grabbed hers and gave it a light yank and I said "How does that feel to you? It hurts, doesn't it? You are hurting Mommy when you pull my hair!" and she cried and was brokenhearted and shocked and it hurt me to do it but it made her stop doing it to me. Sometimes you just have to let them see what it feels like having it happen to them! Just because they are younger and smaller than the other child doesn't mean they should get away with hurting them. If she knows it wont happen to her or doesn't know what it feels like she will keep doing it so maybe the next time she does it tell her to come here and act like you are going to let your other daughter bite her, pull her hair or throw a toy at her and I bet she will be shocked enough to stop doing it! If you have to give her a mild dose of it to get her to stop, so be it!

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