Isn't splitting hairs, so irritating?
Not you, just the way some friends or relatives may regard the Mom or kid.
Ugh.
I had a baby shower with my 1st child. Given to me by co-workers.
I also had a baby shower for my 2nd child, given to us by my Husband's company. For him, and I. It was very thoughtful.
My Mom, was on the fence... didn't know if she felt it was needed/tacky or not. Because as you said, some don't feel a baby shower for each baby (in the same family or for the same woman) is needed. No one in my family, hosted the baby shower. It was our employers, that did. And it was very nice.
In both instances, it was a total surprise, that they wanted to throw us a baby shower. We did not expect it at all.
And in some regions/cultures, it varies... and/or, it can be taken as an "insult" if you turn down an invitation to a Host who is willing to throw a baby shower for you.
To each his/her own.
There is no absolute rule on it.
To me: it is not a present grab. Nor did any of our friends/family/co-workers, think that either.
We celebrate our kids' birthdays. With a party or not. It is not a present grab.