for the last few nights my 9 month old (who has never been a good sleeper) has been WIDE AWAKE at 2 or 3 am.
I usually put her to bed around 7 or 8pm, she wakes up again around 11 to nurse (she loves to nurse all night long, sigh) and I nurse her back to sleep and put her in back in her crib, but after she wakes up again for the next nursing session she is WIDE AWAKE and very loud. She doesn't even nurse that long. She wants to play and talk and if I put her back in her crib she SCREECHES and cries hysterically. Then she crawls to the edge and stands up on and holds on to the crib and cries. I worry that she can't get back down because she sometimes gets 'stuck' in the standing position, not knowing how to sit back down. Last night I went in and laid her down again and said it was night night time and left the room. OH BOY was she mad. she screamed and cried and kicked her legs even. and always ended up standing, clutching the bars of the crib peeking over the top (the top of the bar comes right to the top of her eye level) and crying. After about 5 times of this she didn't get back up again and finally fell asleep, sleeping until 6:30. Of course my 5 year old was awakened, and my hubby and I couldn't get back to sleep for awhile. Is there an easier way? Am I missing something? She takes 2 naps during the day, about 2 or 2.5 hours total nap time, so its not like she is getting too much sleep... I know the rest of the house isn't getting enough sleep... I'm exhausted...
My son did the same thing at the same age. It was just a stage and he grew out of it within 1 or 2 weeks. Good luck in the mean time.
Fill her needs of that moment (change her or feed her or quickly and quietly comfort her or lay her down) but do not turn on any lights or talk or be in any way...interesting.
I do not believe in "cry it out." If you ignore her she only learns to be insecure: The adult she wants most in the universe did not come when she called. Remember, at her age, if you are not in the room with her you do no exist; you disappear from the world if you are not in her sight, so not responding when she calls only confirms to her you are totally gone.
At her age and stage of development, she needs to be responded to, in order for her to learn that you will respond and to make her feel secure. She is far too young to be manipulating you in any way; she only knows what she feels and needs in that moment and is not trying to manipulate you in any way. It's good that you respond, just keep it totally quick and quiet.
This is likely a short-term phase and she will stop the 2 a.m. waking eventually; however, she may then move on to sleeping well until...she doesn't. And then she may start waking at 4 a.m. instead for a while. I dont' know what your older child was like as an infant this age, but I find that most infants change their sleep patterns all the time -- I think the baby that sleeps all night long every single night for years is a myth. Even if we don't know it because they don't wake us, they do change their sleep patterns all the time (they're teething, they're overtired, not tired enough, hungry, just woke up lonely, or no reason at all). Even my 10-year-old has periods when she is wakeful during the night, and those periods pass, and I know they will come again.
Feed her, change her and do what you did last night a few more times.
It will be a tough few nights, but she'll get it.
Good luck!
When my kids went through phases like that I usually took them into the living room and watched tv until they fell back to sleep. I put on one of my shows and rocked them back to sleep. I usually end up falling asleep a couple of times myself, but as long as they go back to sleep I really don't care.
You can't make her go back to sleep, and she really doesn't understand what you're saying when you tell her it's time to sleep. By putting her back to bed over and over again the only message she's receiving is "Mommy won't meet my needs." It's really exhausting, but you really just need to meet her needs. During this phase, she needs you to hold her and love her and help her feel safe. If she's not tired, she's not tired, and there's nothing you can do to change that fact.
She'll sleep again. Hang in there, and in the mean time, just love her.
If she's not eating much when she wakes at 2 a.m. she is waking because she's in the habit of waking up at that time, not because she's hungry. You should just go in, lay her down, maybe pat her back but by no means talk to her, turn on a light or do anything else that might make her think she's getting up. It will take a few nights to break the habit, but once it's broke it sounds like you might get to sleep all night!
She's old enough to struggle through this - yes, I am talking about cry it out. If done correctly, its not harmful and does not cause them to feel insecure. At her age - I would feed her once at night if she needs but then the second time she is awake, I would either a)go do a quick diaper change and lay her back down or b) let her be so she learns to fall back asleep. You should also work on not nursing her to sleep as this causes her to be unskilled at falling back asleep on her own when she wakes at night. Any other responses are going to prolong the problems and be confusing to her. She will be fine - in a few days or less she will learn night time is for sleeping. Don't feel guilty - what you would be doing is in her best interest - teaching her to sleep and rest so that she can grow and be happy and healthy.
Might I also suggest an earlier bedtime? If she's in bed by 8 and up by 6:30 thats just not much sleep for such a little one. I would stick much closer to 7 but I think my son slept 6:30 pm - 6:00 or 6:30 am at that age. Especially if she is waking at least twice, she is liking getting overtired, which makes it even harder for the little ones to get good, consolidated sleep.
Its a phase.
Just let her be in her crib.
Don't interact or talk or turn on any lights.
AND, she is changing developmentally and physically.
So, they are like a pop-up toy.
And yes, they don't quite know how yet, to sit back down and then lie back down by themselves. Because they are still needing to learn how.
