9 Month Old STILL Requires a Swaddle!

Updated on April 28, 2008
B.M. asks from San Rafael, CA
6 answers

Hi,

I wrote several months when my baby was about 5 months, asking when/how to stop. We have tried everything suggested and she still absolutely requires a swaddle. The most success we've had so far is a 30 minute nap. Some people think swaddling until she's ready to stop is fine...and so do we. The problem is that only my husband is able to swaddle her up to her liking, so we have to be here every single night to put her to bed. We haven't been out in the evening together besides an early movie (once) since she was born. Also, it limits us in other ways as well. For example, I was hoping to take the baby down to visit my dad in Palm Springs but my husband can't take the time away from work. She hates my swaddle and it will be a nightmare sleep-wise if I go without her father. (We have tried every which way for me to swaddle and put her down- it's a no go....sounds crazy, but you're just going to have to trust me.) She is otherwise a great sleeper which also makes it difficult because we don't want to rock the boat. Obviously we'll keep trying (and realize this isn't the end of the world) but I'm wondering if anyone has any suggestions on how to get her comfortable without the swaddle?
thanks in advance!
p.s. We have tried the one arm out, with the idea of slowly transitioning her...no luck at all.

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So What Happened?

Thanks so much for your feedback and help. My mom died when I was 6 months pregnant and Mamasource is the only place I can get any good advice. As luck would have it, our air conditioning blew out thenight after I asked for help (you'll recall the heat wave)- thankfully I had your responses. We couldn't swaddle her that night as it was too hot and while it was an all night event of me going in to comfort her, that hardest part was over by morning. Without your advice though I wouldn't have had the confidence that I did that night. She is now back to sleeping well, without a swaddle. Glad that part is over! Thanks

More Answers

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J.D.

answers from Los Angeles on

You might want to look for information on Sensory Integration Disorder (SID). Don't freak out when you read all the criterion. Very few kids have all these problem. I have an amazing 13 year old with some aspects of this condition. Basically, they're not able to block out multiple stimuli, which would explain why she still likes to be wrapped. Becoming aware of it, and learning how to deal with it, will make your life much easier. There is an amazing woman named Connie Lillas in Alta Dena, she's the go to person for this issue. These issues are usually dealt with by an occupational therapist. BTW, your pediatrician may, or may not, be up to speed with SID, it's a realatively new diagnosos, but learning how to deal with it changed my families life. Good luck.

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R.S.

answers from Los Angeles on

I had a similar situation with both of my kids taking them off of the pacifier. I knew it would take a few days of kicking and screaming but it had to be done. My daughter gave me 3 straight nights of H.E double hockey sticks, and my son 2 nights. After it was over, there was never a problem again. You just have to tough it out for a few nigts for a life of freedom.

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H.S.

answers from Los Angeles on

I just want to say that I know people who have swaddled for 2 years! Sounds crazy- huh? That's what worked for them.My daughter wanted to sleep on
top of daddy only for the first couple of months. Do you co-sleep? This seemed to be our best solution.Can daddy give you swaddling lessons? Also just maybe (hopefully) if you go away she will be more focused on you...?I aaam trying to throw some stuff around. as you stated'not the end of the world' THIS TOO SHALL PASS!!

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M.P.

answers from Los Angeles on

Hi B.,
The way I got my daughter to get used to not being swaddled is by just not swaddling her. I know, it sounds hard.. it was. It's going to take some time so be patient.
When your baby falls asleep in your arms, (without the swaddle), maybe after her feeding, try putting her down EXTRA gently so she doesn't jump up and wake up. If you see that she starts moving and may wake up, try putting a little bit of pressure on her body with your hands so she feels supported, until you see that she is still. She may only get a 20 minute nap, but this will slowly increase until she no longer needs the swaddle.

Good luck!

M.

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M.H.

answers from Los Angeles on

Is your husband the one that puts her to sleep after swaddling her? If you have tried to swaddle your baby exactly the way your husband does it and with the same tightness, maybe it's just daddy that she wants? Just an idea. Do you have the Miracle Blanket? Life would be a lot easier if you could swaddle her too, I hear you. Otherwise, swaddling her for as long as she needs wouldn't be a problem. We swaddled my son (now 15 mo.) until he was 5 1/2 mo. old - up until the point he showed me he did not need to be swaddled anymore. He would wiggle his arms out & not wake up. If you don't want to go cold turkey, sounds like you'll just have to hang in there & go out after your baby goes to sleep. That's what we plan to do - still haven't done it yet.

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L.C.

answers from Los Angeles on

Hi B., perhaps this is too simple of an idea, and I'm sure you've already tried it, but have your husband show you his swaddle technique and practice it with him there. I would practice many times with him there to help you and show you so that you have it down. If all else fails, you could swaddle her as best you can, and then put her down and pat her a couple of times, and say firmly and sweetly, "It's sleeptime." You could let her fuss a couple of minutes, and then go in again, pat her and repeat your phrase again. Increase the amount of time you let her fuss. At 9 months of age, she is certainly able to understand a firm, but loving tone. One thing that helped me with my babies (all 5 of them) is that they can be in their crib, but they don't have to necessarily sleep. Time in their crib for a set amount of time (during naptime) is my healthy boundary for them and me. Of course, you don't want to mess with her sleep, but a little training at this stage will spare you from a much longer time of her dictating how she will be put to sleep. She's not a newborn anymore, she's approaching toddlerhood and these kinds of issues become more perplexing as your baby becomes more capable of physical mobility. It might take several days of really working with her consistenlty and firmly, with a sweet and calm disposition. I think you'll find it worth it. She really can put herself to sleep with an "imperfect swaddle." God bless you and don't forget to pray for wisdom! You're doing a great job!

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