9 Month Old Still Not Sleeping Thru the Night

I don't want to be the bearer of bad news but most babies don't sleep through the night for a long time. My second child was well over one year probably closer to 15-18 months before he slept through the night.

I would reccommend the book healthy sleep habits happy child. I loved this book and it really helped me with my kids. It will help you to get on a schedule and get her to sleep through the night.
Good luck.

Oh L.!

My son does the same thing! The only thing that has reduced his night time feedings is the following:

I nurse him when he comes home from daycare at 5:30pm. I play with him a lot and tickle him and basically get him completely petered out.

I feed him baby food and also nurse him right before bedtime at 7:30pm. After eating, I bathe him with Aveeno Lavendar and Vanilla bath, that helps with sleep. I lotion him up with the lotion too. I then read him a book and put him to sleep at 8:30pm. I do not let him sleep between 5:30pm and 8:30pm, because then he gets up between 11pm-1am.

He usually gets up at 4:30am, and then sleeps until I wake him at 7am and get him ready for daycare.

Just a snapshot of my schedule to see if there is something you would like to try.

I coslept, so truly, I never had this problem - so as far as getting up to feed, I don't really have any ideas...but it's not suprising that she's not sleeping through yet, she's still too young. I can't believe a dr. told you to give her a bottle of warm water - babies that young shouldn't have that much water, it takes up valuable space in their tummies that they need for breastmilk/food/formula. Can you not bring her into bed with you when she fusses one of these times, and then just nurse her through the rest of the night next to you?

While I agree with the other moms that she just might not be ready to sleep through the night I also think that maybe it could be food allergy related. I had a similar situation with my youngest son and realized that it was a dairy allergy that was keeping him from sleeping through the night. I stopped the dairy and he slept better. Make sure the food you're feeding her is very plain and bland. Take her portions out before you season for the rest of the family. Also I would cut out any bread, wheat and/or gluten you're feeding her. Gluten allergies are one of the biggest problems relating to the SAD diet these days. More people than you know have gluten allergies and it can sometimes be hereditary. For 2 weeks feed her only fruits, veggies, and maybe a little rice. See if that makes a difference. Then slowly add one thing at a time back into her diet to check for reaction.

Hello L.,

I am sorry for the challenge this creates for you getting a good night's sleep. I went through the same thing with my first - unfortunately, he did not start routinely sleeping through the night til he was almost three years old even though he was not nursing by then, and I already had a second. He did sleep through a bit better once he was no longer nursing (about 20 months) but still wanted to be held a couple times a night frequently even then. He sleeps through wonderfully almost every night now (just turned four), but it took a _long_ time. Many people told me to let him cry it out, but the times we tried that he was able literally to cry the entire night and then he would get sick so we gave up on that. I am sorry that this is not really useful advice, but I did want to give you hope that it likely will change at some point, but it might be this way for awhile. I think it is largely that they want that closeness with you - it might be helped if you let her co-sleep or sleep closer to you, but that might wake you as well and might be something you and your husband are not wanting to do. Anyway, I guess the best advice I can give is to try to take it as a compliment that someone wants to be with you so much that they cannot even bear a single night apart.;)

My breast-fed son did not sleep through the night until about a month after he stopped nursing (13 months). His nighttime eating schedule changed a lot as he grew, though. He was down to one middle of the night wake up and one early am feeding by about 11 months, and would go back to sleep from like 5:30 to 8 am, and so did I. This was like heaven after the first 10 months! One thing which seemed to positively affect the nighttime eating schedule was as we reduced the number of daytime nursings. As his 'real food' intake increased and the number of daytime nursings decreased and this coincided with the reduction in nightime wake-ups. Yours could be moving towards a change pretty soon, too, especially as she's eating real food so well, so take heart. Oh, and I've found nothing is like clockwork for long with a developing child - what's been one way for however long could change in a snap. I also gotta say that at the time the lack of continuous sleep was pretty tough, I REALLY hated it, but I can barely recall the pain now (just a year and a half later)! I also found bringing him into our bed at the first feeding and just nursing him there for the rest of the night helped with my amount of sleep. We had no trouble with the transition to the crib after he weaned, but some families do, so it's a potential mixed bag. You do not need to ignore your baby's cries unless you want to. At nine months they do not 'understand' squat, all they know is that no one is responding to their calls for help. There are other ways, including just having patience for a little while longer. You'll be a mom for like 50 years, what's a few more months of suffering, in the long run? I tried to keep that perspective as I sleep-walked through the days... Hang in there!

have you tried taking her to bed with you at night?? co-sleeping makes your life SO MUCH easier when you are breastfeeding! My eight week old has been sleeping through the night since she was born. She "roots" next to me to let me know shes hungry every couple of hours and I put her to the breast, neither one of use hardly have to wake up! Also check out the Dr. Sears nighttime parenting book. Good luck!

If you feel comfortable w/ it - you could try formula @ night right before bed - it keeps them fuller longer. We switched to formula @ 6 months partly to help w/ nighttime sleeping. Also, a lot of friends of mine had their babies in the habit of being nursed to sleep. Then, when they would wake up in the night, they would need to nurse (even if they were not hungry) just to fall back asleep. I would try to put your daughter down awake at bedtime (of course only applies if you are nursing to sleep) and I would try a bottle during the night (of formula or breast milk) and see if it's the breast she wants or if she really is hungry and needs to eat. If she doesn't seem to be hungry - then I would try to stick to a pacifier and rubbing her back - not picking up and rocking etc because @ her age she can start to learn how to put herself back to bed - but I think putting her to bed so early (8-8:30pm) makes for a really long night's sleep @ her age w/out waking up. At that age we were putting my son to bed when we went to bed around 10:30pm or so. Try a later afternoon nap too so that she isn't as tired at 8pm for bed. I don't think my son slept fully thorough the night till close to 9 months. Good luck :0)

Hi. I am going to give you different advice, but I hope it helps.

The key to what you said is that your daughter is waking up - like clockwork. When a baby wakes at the same time every night it is often learned hunger. She is used to her belly getting full at the same time each night.

Though many babies need to bed fed in the middle of the night til they are a year or so old, at nine months you can start weaning her off of one feed at a time.

If the pacifier works for one feeding - go with it. Do exactly as you were doing - as she starts to stir before she is fully awake.

Then BF her for the other 2. After 4 or 5 days, use the pacifier for another feeding, then another. (You may then have to wean off the pacifier, but if you leave several of them in her crib, she'll eventually be able to find them on her own. For now you need sleep).

As far as the 2 BF's you'll be keeping up for the time being, you can start feeding her less and less each night and then it will be easier to wean her off of it.
So, if you feed her for 20 min, try 17 min for 3 nights, then 15 min, then 12, etc, etc.

There is also something called wake to sleep. Since your DD wakes like clockwork, you go into her room about 10 min before she wakes, and BARELY stir her. You don't want her to fully wake. This will hopefully start another sleep cycle and she'll sleep on through that waking. Google it for more info.
I hope it helps.

These are gentle ways of weaning, and I think it is important so YOU can get some sleep too.

GOOD LUCK!

Hi L.,

Unfortunately, your little one has YOU on a schedule and well trained. You'll need to reverse this and put her on a schedule that will give your daughter the rest and structure she needs and the sleep you desperately crave to keep your sanity. Please look into books that others recommended. I know all babies are different. But if you are firm, you will succeed with this.....it's the consistentcy that is so important. Good Luck! C.

My son was the same until I stopped breastfeeding about 10 and half months. I don't know if it was just the age or if it was because he was on formula. I guess we will never know. I also started to let him cry a bit more in his crib. We switched from co-sleeping to crib around the same time. My son was waking up every 3 hours. I did quit nursing for the 2:00 am feeding cold turkey. We just skipped it and I would just rock him back to sleep. So then I was feeding him at 11 at night at 4 in the morning. This took a few days. Then we went to bottles and it was easier. he would sleep until 6 oclock and I would feed him and he would go right back to sleep. If he did wake in the middle of the night I would give him water. That lasted a week. Now he sleeps from 9 at night to 9 in the morning. so the morning wake up just got later and later or I would ignore him until he goes back to sleep unless he is really crying/fussing and I would feed him a bottle. But mostly he just goes right back to sleep if no one gets him. So it will get better. You may just have to cut out some of the middle of the night feedings. If teething try a little tylenol. At 9 months my son was teething and woke up every two hours. It was horrible. So in the next month or so it should get better! Some babies just don't sleep through the night until they are a little older and they are taught how to go back to sleep on their own. Good luck.

never take her out of the crib at night, sit next to the crib and rub her back at first she will fight it but they always give up but you have to be firm, just check on her and let her cry a little not full out sobbing no one wants to see their baby cry like that!

Hi L.,

Unfortunately, my dtr is 2 years old, and still doesn't sleep thru the night. The times of night she wakes up is the same schedule my dtr kept as well. I finally broke down and brought her into our bed when she was about 23 months old, b/c I work as well, and am exhausted. It's not what's advised to do at all, but my sanity is important.

There is one great book you can try, written by Ferber. It's a great book, and I probably will try again to get her back into her bed. Just keep with it, and do whatever feels right for you. SOme people sleep with their kids right from birth, and others are able to get them to sleep in their beds. As I'm sure you've heard, all kids are different. And I was hell-bent on not having my child sleep with us the way my sister-in-law had done it. But in the end, you do what works, don't let anyone judge.

I hope this at least encourages you to try other things, that may be frowned upon by people with children that sleep through the night. It's not about her food, or thirst, it's actually about the fact that she's used to having you there when she wakes up, so she has not learned to fall back asleep by herself. Even if you don't get help from the Ferber book, at least you'll understand WHY your baby doesn't want to fall asleep alone again.

(The book is likely to be available at your local library, that's where I got mine)
Good Luck,
B.

Let her cry it out! She's old enough to learn within a few nights, I agree. At her age, she knows that mom will nurse her when she cries, so if you want to break that cycle now, you'll have to let her cry it out. It may be the only way since you've tried everything else. It worked for us!

Hi L.,
I went through a similar situation with my son when he was about 6 months old (he's 9 months now and sleeping better). Through all the advice here on MamaSource, my Pediatrician, friends' Pediatricians, other Moms the best advice I received was through Dr. Ferber's book, Solve Your Child's Sleep Problems. I know he has a bad reputation for creating the "cry it out" method but he really doesn't use that as a blanket treatment for all situations. It's a good read and gave me lots of insight into why my son wasn't sleeping through the night and what was reasonable to expect for an infant his age. He will say not to nurse your daughter any more but he gives you a way to very gradually make that change and said something along the lines of it being cruel to cut her off quickly. I hope you get some sleep soon!

H.

This is the link to Dr. Ferber's sleep center at Children's Hospital Boston. There's some basic info. about children and sleep on that site.
http://www.childrenshospital.org/clinicalservices/Site154...

L.,

I haven't read any of the other responses, but the only thing that I have found that works...unfortunately...is letting them cry it out. Now I do recognize that every child is different, all three of my boys were very different when it came to this, but ultimately it does work. I know it is agonizing!!! But you have to remember that in the long run you are teaching them good sleeping skills by teaching them how to fall back asleep. I promise it won't take that many nights...but you do have to follow through.

One question I have...when you put her to bed at night do you put her down awake or asleep? You will want to put her down while she is awake...

I do feel your pain!!! I wish you luck with whichever route you choose! You are the parent...and you definitely know what is best for your child.

H. Z. (SAHM 5, almost 4 and 15 month old boys)

Hi L.,

I wish I could help, but my 2 1/2 year old is still waking up to nurse in the middle of the night. My first did not nurse so I never had to go through this with her. My sister in law just lets her daughter cry and she goes back to sleep. I could never do that because mine makes herself throw up if I don't go to her.

I think some kids just need the company in the middle of the night. Does she have a night lite? That might help.

Good luck with it. She is at a good age to break her of bad habits. I missed that mark with my daughter and am not sure when she will learn to sleep well, but hopefully soon. I feel your pain with the lack of sleep. :)
Good luck!
D.

Hi,
My 7 1/2 mth old son also is up several times throughout the night and we're lost too! I breastfeed as well and he gets up at least 3times a night. My son shares a room with my tot and has also shared our bedroom. Nothing is working. He doesn't sleep. Im beat and so exhausted. Please let me know if you get any good advice. I'm dying for some sleep!

My daughter (now 10 1/2 mos) was doing the same thing. She was up at the same intervals every night... and I think it becomes a habit. I tried to let her cry it out but she got so worked up and would eventually settle down but would keep waking until I went in and nursed her. Or I would take her to the couch and sleep there so we could both get the rest we needed. I'm not breastfeeding anymore and she's been sleeping through the night - although this morning she was up at 5am hungry. I gave her a bottle and she's still asleep.

I know around this age they have separation anxiety and just need some reassurance that we're here for them. I would give her what she needs for now if you don't want to let her cry it out (it's too hard for me too!). Things change so quickly at this age and they grow up so fast. Try not to stress and do whatever it takes to get her back to sleep for now!

Good luck!
B.

L.,

I hate to say it but join the club! You almost described my daughter's schedule to a tee! She is 8-1/2 months old and the 2x a night is a killer. I also tried the let's see if she just cries method - not for me either - she did put herself back to sleep and I think it made the situation even worse. I tried the water as well - those 2 nights it took 2 hours of rocking and signing and bouncing to get her back to sleep - and then didn't work again. Just for the past 2 nights she however has only gotten up somewhere between 12-1am then not until between 5 and 6am. (I hope I'm not shooting myself in the foot by actually saying it out loud). The only thing I found that has helped a little is trying not to go to sleep til after that 10-11pm feeding. Then it feels like it's just once a night.
My daughter however sometime starts to stir at 10 and doesn't fully wake up til 12 or 12:30 and once I hear her at 10 it's VERY hard for me to go to sleep knowing I have to get up soon and take care of her.
Last night was bad for me. Even though she didn't stir til 12:30 I couldn't fall asleep til 3:30am and then only got about 2-1/2 hours. I plan to take Tylenol PM tonight just to help myself fall asleep earlier.
We have tried my husband going in and rocking her back - the last night was a week ago and my husband said when she realized it was him and not me she got really mad. My daughter doesn't take a pacifier or a bottle. (she's a preemie and I have yet to find a bottle or pacifier that she will take). So I don't even have that to try and sooth her.
As of this point my daughter has only slept thru the night 2 or 3 times - it has been so long since she's done it I can't remember if it was 2 or 3x. But of course not on consecutive nights. I figure for whatever reason she seems to need to nurse and although I don't love getting up with her I try to make the best of it.
The last two nights though she has nursed and then thought it was play time. I do not turn on any lights nor do I talk to her at all when I go in. I pick her up and start to nurse -that's it. I've read that you need to try and keep it as much on the 'night time side' as possible. When she is done nursing I put her in the crib and I've had to sit on the ottoman and lean over her crib rail in the down position so she can see me til she falls asleep. Not fun. It has taken about 20 minutes or so. Where as before I could just nurse for 10 minutes and put her straight back down. I can't do that any longer. Or at least not for the past 2 nights.
Sorry I don't have any gems of wisdom for you but at least you know your not alone. The only thing that has helped me is that my husband has been taking my daughter in the mornings on the weekend and let me sleep til around 10am - this has been a god send. You could try this.

Hope you can get some more sleep soon,
L. M

You just gotta do it! She will follow your lead. Crying it out doesn't mean just let them scream for 3 hrs. Give her 2 min. before you go in the first time, 5 min the next, 10 min the next. You will have one night of hardly any sleep (its better if you resign yourself to it beforehand), but it will be better the 2nd night, so much better the 3rd and so on. Just go in to her, pat/rub her back, no talking, no lights, and NO nursing!! She doesn't need the nutrition at this point, she just likes having you there,and is used to it. She will eventually fall asleep, and will soon learn that there is no point to waking up. She will be self-soothing in no time. You just gotta stick with it. Try it for a week - you owe it to yourself and her for better nights sleep for the both of you. Good Luck girl!

Do you have bedtime routine? Can you put in her crib when she's awake and can put herself to sleep? If not, I'd start there. Having a routine (bath, books, pjs, etc) that you do every night can help her understand it's bedtime and time for a long sleep. And by putting her down awake, she can learn to put herself to sleep. So when she wakes in the wee hours, she doesn't need to help to fall back asleep.

LEt her cry it out there is no other way. She needs to learn how to sooth herself to sleep first then she will learn how to sooth herself back to sleep at night. There is no reason why a 9 month old needs feedings through the night except as a comfort thing. Try giving her a lovey (blankie, stuffed animal, your shirt you have worn for a few days to bed) and put in a nightlight.