Hi everyone! I have asked a few questions here before and have gotten some pretty good responses, so here I am again. My daughter is 9 months old, and is an excellent baby... always has been... with the exception of sleeping. She has never consistently slept through the night. We've had a night here or there, but most nights we're up at least once. The last 2 nights she has been up for hours in the middle of the night. She'll fuss and cry until I go into her room, and as soon as she sees me, she perks up and is happy and talkative and seemingly wide awake and ready to play.
I took her pacifier away about 5 days ago because she had a stuffy nose and I felt like that was causing her to wake up several times at night. The first night went very well without it, but her sleeping has gotten worse every night since then. I feel like we're too far gone to give the paci back, so I do not want to give it back to her (please don't suggest that I do as I am not budging on this). I feel like if I give it back now, it will be that much harder when I try to get rid of it in the future.
I believe that she may be getting her 1-year molars right now, but I'm not convinced that it's pain that's waking her up since she's so cheery as soon as she sees me.
I have tried very hard to not pick her up after I put her down for the night. I'll rub or pat on her back, and before I had taken the paci away, put that back in her mouth. About 2 weeks ago, she started crawling and very quickly figured out how to sit up, so whenever I go in her room, she's sitting up looking at me. Because of this now she does not want to lay back down when I go in at night. Last night I tried for 40 minutes every time she sat up, I'd lay her back down (which was literally every 5 seconds). After the 40 minutes of "fighting" with her, I finally picked her up and rocked her back to sleep. She stayed asleep for about 15 - 20 minutes, then was up again. All in all, we were up for 2 1/2 hours in the middle of the night, then she woke up at her normal time this morning. She's been very cranky during the day, but I think that she's probably just tired all the time.
I am not willing to let her CIO. I have tried that, and she will cry for hours, and I am not consistent with it. Because of those two factors, I am not willing to try this method again. One last thing to mention is that my husband is in the Air Force and is gone very frequently. He is gone right now, so I do not have that support to help me at night time. This momma is WORN out and needs some ADVICE!! Anybody?!?! TIA!!
Hate to suggest another book but this one was very helpful for me. It offers lots of ideas and suggestions as no child is the same as another.
The no cry sleep solution
by: Elizabeth Pantly
good luck, I know it can get frustrating.
Hi K.,
I understand how much sleep issues can wear you down. You didn't mention in your post if she is a good napper. A lot of getting them to sleep at night is finding that right balance of sleep during the day (not too much because then they won't want to go to bed at night and not too little because then they will be overstimulated and cranky). You said she was cranky during the day because of lack of sleep at night. Unfortunately you get into a vicious cycle of up at night and cranky during the day and it's hard to turn that around. I would work to get a good nap routine going and see if that helps. She is also old enough to have a bedtime routine (maybe bath, book, bottle, song) if you're not doing that already. This helps them to calm down and know it's time for bed. Children thrive on routine so maybe something this simple could help make a difference.
Wishing you all sweet dreams!!! ;o)
K.,
It is hard, but you must let her CIO. I remember sitting down stairs and crying while my baby girl was in her bed upstairs crying, but I knew that was the ONLY way to get her to sleep. She was about 8 months old and now she is 3 years old and I couldn't have a better sleeper. She sleeps about 13-14 hours at night and 2-3 hours during the day.
Turn the monitor down when she is crying or go outside in the backyard...but don't just sit there and listen to her cry, it will really bother you.
Sorry, I don't have anything easier!
I feel your pain, sister. Sleepless nights are no fun at all. And, you are right - it would be harder to take the Paci away later so you may as well stick with what you've done now.
If you do think she is teething - are you giving her Motrin or something before bed?
I have found A LOT of helpful answers in a book called "TouchPoints Birth to 3" by T. Brazelton. I may not have his name exactly correct, but the book is so you can Google it.
Even if it is teeth pain waking her up, she might be happy to see you b/c it's a distraction and she feels better instantly knowing that you will make things better. :-)
I have always picked my kids up when they cried and held them, but if after 2 or 3 times I would let them cry it out. Especially when they seemed fine after I had held them. She's just expressing in the only way she can that laying back down is NOT what she wants. And, that is okay, but she will have to learn that at night is when she sleeps. Be strong - crying doesn't mean something is wrong per say - just a difference of opinion. If you hold her, comfort her and then put her back down and tell her it's night time or time for sleep - I bet after a few nights she will learn that is what she needs to do.
Good luck. I know it's hard, but be consistent. And, give her Motrin before bed (if it's teeth) cause it's so hard to sleep when you have pain.
Get the book, Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child. It is a life saver!
Also, rethink your stance on crying it out. Your baby girl has you wrapped around her little finger and I don't think you are going to change anything with her unless you make the point to her that night time is for sleeping not playing.
I have a 2 year old and a 9 month old who were both taught to sleep using the cry it out method. They both sleep 12+ hours at night and I NEVER have to go in their room at night. They also take regular naps during the day. So, I do speak from experience.
If you would like any other help, just email me!
Good luck,
A.
Well, a pacifier helps with the teething during the night. However, if you don't want to go back to the paci put a sippy cup of water in her crib for her to chew on at night. I will tell you that my first daughter started sleeping through the night at 3 months; however, she seemed to always have a night waking during the night during teething time. Unforutunately, she is now two and still wakes up at least once a night. My second daughter didn't sleep for 7 months; however, at 1 year is a solid sleeper - not a peep even during teething. My point is every child is different and teething is more painful for some kids for whatever reason. I will tell you that my first had a paci until she was 17 months and taking the pacifier away was a breeze - much easier at this age then as an infant b/c she didn't need it anymore. Anyway, good luck with everything! Try the sippy it really works.
K.,
I also was not a fan of the CIO method of sleep training. My husband is a Marine and gone a lot too. I lasted for a year without a full night sleep then something had to change! I bought all the books tried all the methods and nothing worked. I finally realized that I wasn't doing either of either of us any favors by continuing like we were. I wasn't at my best and neither was she. I gave in and WE cried it out. She and I both! It was horrible but the results are magnificent. I now have a three year old that will tell me she is ready for a nap. Good luck to you no matter what you decide I wish you both rest.
There is a great book called "How to Solve your Child's Sleep Problems." Red cover, paperback. It will help you through not just the infant period, but into toddler years, changing to a big bed, etc. It really gives you the support that what you are doing is correct and the right choice. One thing that it will tell you is to be consistent, or you undo your work from the nights before. Even if you don't see progress in the 1st couple of nights, you might be just one night away from results, so don't undo it! Neither one of you can be your best on too little sleep. Do both of you the favor of enforcing sleep.
First, thanks to your and your hubby for your sacrifice. As the wife of a marine that was deployed twice, I've been home with the kids alone like you.
Ok, on to your problem. Have you ever thought of bringing her in bed with you so you can both get some sleep? I fought with #1 on sleep, refused to put her in bed with me, etc. and it was miserable. By #2, I was too tired...if he woke in the night, I just put him in bed with me and we both slept better. If I woke before morning, I'd put him back in bed. When hubby was deployed, they both ended up in bed with me almost every night and amazingly stopped on their own when he returned (they were 2 & 4 at the time). Anyway, with #3 now, I bring him in bed with me, and again, if he won't settle down, I put him back in his bed. Yes, he cries a bit, but he usually stops. If he doesn't, I go get him again. We've had some bad nights where he was up a lot and cried a lot, but mostly, he goes back to sleep. Anyway, just try whatever works for you, and I would suggest while hubby is done, try putting her in bed with you. It probably won't be quailty sleep, but it will be better than none.
Sleep issues stink! They really take a toll on us moms! It sound like the paci was her way to soothe herself back to sleep when she woke up. It is normal for kids to wake up during the night, often several times. She is also at an age where babies become very aware that their actions can elicit the response they need/want from parents. In essence they are starting to learn manipulation (it is a survival mechanism at this point-nothing devious.) Unless you change your mind on the paci thing, it will probably continue to be rough going. She might learn to suck her finger, but you can't ever take that away later, for sure. MOst likely she has been counting on you to get her back to sleep by doing something soothing like rocking or feeding her. Maybe you will find something in one the other posts or the sleep book that was suggested. I obviosly don't have a technique for you, but I sympathize.
I agree, she is too young for CIO. Sounds like you know you need to work on your consistency in this situation, however you decide to handle it. That is tough! This time will pass and you'll make it through somehow. Hang in there mommy and good luck.
Have you tried the water mobile with the fish that lights up the room. My youngest is almost five now, but I think it has a sensor so they can turn it on. It gives a light show on the wall. It wont necessarily get her back to sleep faster, but it might keep her quiet longer so you can sleep.
Some kids just dont need as much sleep as others. My youngest is that kid. She is awake quietly in her bed longer then her father and I almost every night and back up before us every morning and does not take a nap. She just does not sleep. Some days she tells me I was up all night and I honestly believe her.
