9 Month Old Freaking Out at Every Meal !!!

Updated on March 26, 2008
S.B. asks from Amarillo, TX
14 answers

My 9 month old freaks out during his meals. He sits in a high chair at the dinner table. He loves his solid food and he's a normal weight. But its like I have to keep him interested in something while he's eating. I have to find little toys or spoons, even jewlery that he can look at and play with while I'm feeding him. He won't just sit there in his high chair and eat. If he doesn't have anything to play with, he screams and fusses and arches his back and gets really mad. As long as he's playing with something, he opens his mouth and says "mmmmmmmmmmmmm" and eats.

This happens at EVERY meal !!!! Its driving me crazy trying to find things to amuse him with so I can feed him. I even give him finger foods so he can feed himself ...but sometimes that doesn't even help. Its like he gets bored. Its worse when he's teething. But its all the time.

Is this normal ?? Has this ever happened to anyone else ? I'd appreciate any advice!

Thanks !!

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M.M.

answers from Amarillo on

It could be time to try him out on feeding himself. Something that worked for me with both of my girls was to set up a mirror beside them where they could see themselves eating and they would watch themselves eat and feed themselves. It is messy, but they were happy and learning at the same time. I don't know if this might work for you, but it is worth a shot.

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C.P.

answers from San Diego on

Hi S.!

I'm laughing quite hard right now!!

Yes, this is very normal. I went through this with my daughter, always finding something to keep her pacified during feeding time. She'd love one thing to play with, hate it three days later. We used spoons, toys, the little plastic cartons the foods come in, costume jewelry, you name it!

If you think this phase is driving you crazy - just wait until he starts self-feeding and throws all of his food on the floor at every feeding!! :-)

-Char

1 mom found this helpful
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E.T.

answers from Dallas on

It sounds like what my daughter went through at 9-10 months. If I wouldn't get the next bite immediately she would throw a fit. For her it was I want food and I want it NOW! I am happy to say around 10 1/2 - 11 months she seemed to grow out of it. She is 11 1/2 months now.

I understand how hard it is....hopefully your son will grow out of this phase soon :)

E.

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C.G.

answers from Jacksonville on

It sounds like he has you right where he wants you. By this age they know how to get things with tantrums. I have a friend with three boys 3 and under. Children can miss a meal or 2 it does not hurt them. Does he understand no, if so a time out is my suggestion. A firm no, and removal from the table or a play pin, chair, or a crib where he can understand that it is a consequence for "freaking out." It work for me just to say no and ask if they were done. My friend had to put them in time out and did not let them come back to the table until the next meal. I hope you get a lot of responds. Good luck, anything you try will take a few attempts.

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J.O.

answers from Lubbock on

Yes, very normal. Babies have 0 attention span. Keep feeding him until he is full and then expect to keep him entertained. It doesn't go away for a while. I still entertain my 3.5 year old. This is why it is so nice to eat out without the kids sometimes.

Cheers!

Oh, and congrats on that baby boy--what a wonderful blessing!

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D.M.

answers from Dallas on

Your baby's behavior is normal. Babies have virtually no attention span. My youngest is 11 months -- I have three kids (my others are 8 & 7) -- and she does the same thing; although now that she has mostly perfected her pincer grasp she doesn't need as much distraction. However, right now there is a rattle, teether, pacifier & one of her older sibling's toys on her high chair tray. I would have to say: just let your baby be a baby. Be assured that table manners will come later -- MUCH later and with ENDLESS repetition.

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G.W.

answers from Dallas on

Sounds pretty normal to me. Ours is now 18 months old and has to have his shows (Elmo or Disney videos) on while he eats. It's not a great habit to get into but it keeps him pacified and he does eat. I'm not suggesting you do the videos though.It's a hard habit to break. Good luck.

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D.W.

answers from Tyler on

This really is not a good way to start good eating habits. One of the hardest things to do with our kiddos is to be firm, because to us it seems mean... but there are times when modifying their behavior requires some strength and endurance on our part.

Meal time should never become a power struggle and that is what has happened here, he is making you do what he wants because he can throw a fit.

I would suggest putting him in his chair, give some finger foods, and start to feed him, or let him try to feed himself (it may be messy but it's good for them to learn)... if he throws a fit sternly tell him NO, it's time to eat. If he continues then take him out of his chair. But do not entertain him while he is eating. When he gets hungry and you probably know by now when he is hungry, put him back in the chair and feed him again. It may take a few times of doing this- chair is for eating- living room/bedroom is playing.

You have to be strong though, when he gets hungry he will eat.

Hope this helps.

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K.G.

answers from Dallas on

Ok my seven year old was like that when he was a baby. He is now a very picky eater but eats well ( just only like five things). I always had a hard time feeding him the arching the back thing and having something to stimulate his visual needs while feeding his taste buds. I will have you know though that he is exstreamly smart for his age ( I think , now looking back at it, that they have over active imaginations that need to be constantly stimulated). I hope that you can take another approach to it, in just thinking that he is really smart and needs extra stimulation during feeding times. I would have never ever taken him to a resteraunt I think he was about 2 years old before we EVER took him out to dinner, cause sitting through a meal with him was a nightmare one of us had to walk him around the resteraunt and then the other one was just sitting there by yourself so it was never worth it. He is fine now, and by about 3 he was fine with it all. Try taking away the highchair, I hated those things it was always like they were tied in that thing. But they have this little higchair thing that sits in a big boy chair and up to the table....OK now get this, let him try to feed himself a little bit? I know sounds like a huge mess and it is but he may find and you may find that he is more self sufficient than you think he is at an early age! Or if worse comes to worse , when I was really Tired of it, I turned on the the TV, I know bad mom but really it helped to just get food in him! Good Luck, let me know how it goes
K., mom of tow boys 7 and 4

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G.A.

answers from Tyler on

Your child sounds PERFECTLY normal. My sons pedi told me once that eating to us is an event, but eating to a child is a chore. I agree with the finger foods, even if its one of those cookies that gets soggy pretty easy. It will get better when he is able to feed himself and eat more foods. Enjoy feeding him, cause my two yr old is so stinkin independent he has to do EVERYTHING himself. I miss the baby days!!!

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D.R.

answers from Dallas on

He's 9 months old...give him a break. He needs a little play. Everything to them is play. Patience. Don't get him to mature any faster because before you know it...he's running out the door.

My child wouldn't eat at all and still won't. I have played every kind of game. Trust me...he will out grow this. But their purpose in life right now is to eat, play and poop.

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L.S.

answers from Dallas on

Completely normal! He sounds like a healthy boy! One thing to remember is that food is just for play the first year. It's just an experiment so don't sweat it if he doesn't eat everything or loses interest. He should be getting the bulk of his nutrition from you or from formula. He'll come round before you know it and will be feeding himself (my advice is to get a dog when that happens). Good luck and try not to freak too much.

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M.H.

answers from Lubbock on

Give him some finger foods to eat while you are feeding him! Sounds like he wants to be more involved during meal times!

Also give him a spoon to "eat" with during meal times!

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K.L.

answers from Amarillo on

I am a grandmother of 7 grandchildren, was in nursing for 20yrs and part of that time childrens ward. My advice to you is to teach your child that everytime he throws a fit when he is eating, then he will be removed from the table. It is OK to try to keep him entertained with toys, but I do not recommend the TV shows while he eats. The lady who told you to tell your child NO, is right, you need to tell them NO, and then if they don't stop, remove them from the table until the nex meal. It won't hurt them to miss a feeding. Sorry, but if children learn at this age that fit throwing doesn't work and doesn't get them what they want then when they get older you have a better chance of keeping them in line. That's what is wrong with the children of today, they are not taught at a early age that when you say NO, you mean NO !!! That's all there is too it !! The old saying, spare the rod and spoil the child, that's why our prisons are full today because parents forgot how to say NO!! and mean it. Just say NO and if your child doesn't stop then do like the other lady said remove him from the table until the next meal. God bless you and your child and I wish you the very best !!!!

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