81/2 Month Old Still Not Sleeping Through the Night!!

My son is big for his age and did not start sleeping through the night on a regular basis until 11 months when I started giving him whole milk. Around 8 months, I started giving him a bottle with dinner and one before bed. It definitely kept him asleep longer. On the upside, when he still woke up for a 2 am feeding, he went back to sleep right away. He was just a hungry little (ahem) guy!

N....I know they say not to do this...but I did with both of my boys...I gave them both some cereal. It helped them both sleep thru the night. Good luck

Based only on my personal experience, I'd say it's better to let the baby drink as much as he wants if he wakes up in the middle of the night, and then put him right back to sleep. An ounce isn't much. If he's satisfied, he'll sleep longer. Again, this is based only on my experience with my daughter.

Stop the formula in the middle of the night. He doesn't need it. I went cold turkey when I realized My son was fooling me by "requiring it". Once he understands that waking up does not equal a bottle, he'll wake up less. I did that around 7mos and between 7-10 months my son did sleep through the night, till his first tooth. However, many children I know (moms rarely admit this) dont sleep through the night that often till they are older. Some people get really lucky and the sleep training works, but for a lot of us it didn't and doesn't and we have toddlers we get up with to put back in bed at least once a night every night. You'll feel better once you can get up and not make a bottle though. They're going through a lot of changes which usually includes some new found mobility at 9 months. This excitement can make it hard to sleep. Also there is teething pain, and different cycles of separation anxiety which can affect a babies sleep habits. I hope for your sake that the books and training cycles work for you, though if it doesn't remember you're not a lone and it does come to a point where you are fully refreshed and functional on 6 hours of sleep per night. If I get more, Im really spoiled.

I don't think that you are the only one whose baby won't sleep through the night. My son is almost 11 months and for the past 5 nights has slept through the night. I tried everything... let him cry himself to sleep... give him less formula... nothing worked with him either. I finally gave up and realized that eventually he would sleep throught the night. (did I mention that I am almost 6 months pregnant!) So I know how exhausting it is. I am sorry that you have to grow through this but I promise eventually he will sleep through the night I just can't tell you when. And when he does you will probably check in on him a million times till he wakes up because this isn't "normal!"

There is hope. My girls were almost 10 months before sleeping through the night.
Not sure what you have tried but you might want to try putting him down at a regular time each night and try before he falls asleep. Also many recommend just rubbing his back or sitting in his room instead of getting him up. Sounds like he wants Mommy

Stop giving him the night feedings. He knows that if he wakes up he'll get food. That may be causing his wakings. Once he understands that mom and dad will not feed him in the middle of the night, he'll know that it is not worth waking up and crying. At this age he no longer the feedings. His little stomach is bigger and retaining more food. You can even feed him a little more during the day to be sure that he is getting enough. I have a 10mos old son and we stopped his night feedings at 7 mos. Once we did that he started sleeping through the night.
M.

If you're down to one ounce and he's waking up more, then he's hungry.

My daughter did not sleep through the night until after she was 2. Years. Was I exhausted? YES!!! I tried lots of things and let me tell you the night we tried "cry it out" and she cried from the time she woke up at 1 a.m. until I finally had to get up for the day and admit "defeat" at 7 a.m. That little girl stood in her crib and cried, half asleep, on her little feet, for SIX hours. Did I get sleep? Um,no.

My daughter did not (and to an extent still does not) have a good self-soothing mechanism. She never took a pacifier, never loved a stuffed animal more than others, and she could have cared less which blanket was on her.

My advice would be to look at his self-soothing; does he have something he loves that can be in his crib? If he doesn't, find something appropriate (clearly not a large blanket at this age, but maybe one of those "taggies," and every time you comfort him and feed him and love him put that item with him. Make it part of your routine of soothing him. Then wean your behavior out of the picture until the item is something that soothes him and he's got how to do it on his own.

(Yes, that could cause a problem if the item is lost...so I'd make sure you pick an item that can be easily replaced, or have multiples. Yes, you may have to wean an 8-year old off of a "blankie" but that's way easier than operating on no sleep. Plus you can reason with an 8-y.o.)

One last thing...I agree with the poster who said let the expectation that he should be sleeping "all night" go. He's doing what's right for him. He's not some malicious being whose plotting to destroy your sleep. Count yourself lucky if he sleeps 5-6 hours at a stretch and go from there. And when he goes to bed, you go to bed. Get all the stuff you do after he's in bed done before he goes down so you can too. Get caught up on your sleep and then go from there. And take turns with Dad getting up at night.

Good luck!

If a child is waking it's probably because he needs something...whether he is hungry....or just wants some undivided mama love....it is true that alot of babies can sleep through the night but not all babies are the same. My four year old did not sleep through the night till after he was past a year old and I was working full time and yes, it was exhausting...but I was not going to let him cry it out....I am sorry but it just seems so mean. They need to know that they can count on us when they need us.

Now my second son who is 10 weeks, has already slept an 8 hour night for us! I was shocked. Every baby is different. And a PP was correct in that "sleeping through the night" for babies is defined as 4-6 hours. I know it is hard, believe me, but it passes...they grow up.

N., I know how you feel! My son was seven weeks when he slept through the night. My daughter was 11 months!!!!!!! I was so frustrated and exhausted. I know most of it was our fault. We didn't want her waking up her brother, so we got her at every little cry. She had slept through the night at times, so we knew she could make it through the night without eating. The hardest and BEST thing we did was letting her cry. It only took about a week before she got tired of screaming. She wasn't hungry so she finally gave up. I was a nervous wreck, but she can sooth herself back to sleep now and it's wonderful. I am expecting #3 in Oct. and you bet it won't be 11 months before she's sleeping through the night. It really will be harder on you. Our dr. said it is not unheard of for babies to scream for HOURS before they are able to put themselves to sleep. My little darling did boarder on 2 hours! You will be so exhausted, but it's worth it in the long run! Best of luck to you! I HOPE for you a good night sleep soon!

Hi N.!
I don't know how you do it. I was in the same boat with my little girl but I'm a SAHM - no daycare. It would seem to get better and then worse and then better and then worse. She was getting me up every hour or less when I couldn't do it anymore. Finally, one day when she was 10.5 months I hit rock bottom- she was so tired she couldn't play and I was in tears all day. I had read a plethora of books as well and tried different things but nothing worked. I hated to hear her cry but finally let her cry it out. When she first woke up, my husband and I went in there and explained to her that there would be no more nursing at night. She was upset but eventually fell back to sleep (55 min). I kept hoping/praying that it would not last an hour. Every once in awhile she has a hard time at nap but I can't let her cry more than an hour.
She woke up several more times that night but the improvement was drastic! She has been sleeping so much better now and seems much happier. She still vomits from time to time when she's upset which I hate but I know this is not unusual. Not sure it makes it any easier though. With teething and walking lately, she's not sleeping through the night now but my husband can go in and give her a drink of water.
Life is much better!
Good luck!
L. P

Hi N.,

I read that babies usually lose that night time feeding by 9 months. Some earlier and probably some a little later. If he's drinking a lot at night he might still need that feeding, and giving him only an ounce is what's making him wake more often because he is still hungry. Perhaps try a bigger bottle at bedtime? I have two girls under 22 months so I know how badly sleep is needed but give him a little more time, he'll get there.

Take care and good luck!

N. - letting go of the expectation that he should be sleeping through the night might help. I have no idea where that myth came from. As others mentioned, he may be going through a growth/developmental spurt and wake easier or he may be hungry. It's likely short term, but then may come up again when he's a todder. My 4 yo woke several times a night at that age because she was hungry. She also would wake and play in the middle of the night a few weeks before she started crawling and walking. Good luck!

Get the book "No Cry Sleep Solution". Worked wonders for me and everyone else I know that read it. Gives suggestions based on your parenting style and the kid's personality from birth through childhood.

And given your specific situation, sounds like he is hungry. Could be a growth spurt. Could be the onset of separation anxiety. I would get the book, read it while feeding him, trying to get a bulk of his ounces in the evening time, before bed, known as "cluster feeding". And try to make him feel secure that you are around more now than ever (as he is reaching his peak for separation anxiety.)

Hang in there, the first year is almost over. No one is still not sleeping through the night by the time they reach junior high!

I just wanted to say good luck, lol! My girl is 21 months and has only slept thru the night a handful of times. You're not alone, I've tried everyhting except letting her cry it out, I don't have the heart for that. I guess some babies/toddlers just are this way. Sometimes it's several times a night...what can ya do?

Just an addendum to the recommendation of Weissbluth's book: I realize many people swear by it but I have very mixed feelings about that book. One thing he does not really address (without judgement in my opinion) is that fact that letting them cry is really, really hard on you. You swear they're going to cry themselves to death but they won't. Maybe I'm reading into this too much but I got the distinct impression that he views parents who can't deal with "protest crying" (he means screaming and screaming!)as weak. As if any of us can turn off the natural urge to run to your kid when she's wailing.

If you do decide to go that route I strongly recommend not doing it alone. If you are married and your husband or partner can support you through this, it's crucial you let him know. If you're a single mom, I suggest having a supportive friend stay with you a few nights to help you get through it.

CIO actually did work for us with our daughter, but only to a point. And I don't believe that it works for every baby at all times. We did it at night and went cold turkey on the feedings and now she sleeps 10-11 hours a night. However naptime is a different story! While I'm still not completely convinced that crying isn't bad for them I have to admit it worked for the night sleeping.

I have a 6 months old and we've been extremely lucky with her sleep pattern. But we stopped feeding her at night as soon as she let us (which was at around 1.5 months old). Our schedule right now is that she has a pretty long stretch of not sleeping before her last feeding (9-10pm), as well as we play with her actively so that she is very tired. She normally sleeps then until about 6am (it's a rule that we won't give her food until it's 6am). Also, if she wakes up in the night, we do not offer food but instead substitute it with plain water. This gives her the feeling that she has eaten something but at the same time is not food. We did not have any problems of her not eating normal food just because she drank water - it goes right through her system.

Buy and read "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child" by Dr. Marc Weissbluth. You sound like you are at your wits end and completely puzzled by this. Read to learn about why infants sleep when they do, why they wake in the middle of the night, and how to help them build a healthy sleep schedule and habit. He will describe two methods - extinction (letting the baby cry it out) and gradual extinction - to help guide your decision-making process. If you decide to try this, make sure you give it a fair shot. One night with this (or any other method) won't cure the issue. Make a plan, embrace it, and tell yourself you'll commit to a week or two of trying before giving up.

i know what you are going thru, i have a just turned 9 month old daughter who was not sleeping at all at night and that can just wear you down big time. all of a sudden within the past week and a half she started sleeping thru the night(knock on wood):-) just like that. every once in a while she wakes and i hear her and listen to her move around, sometimes she woke up and played and cried for a couple of minutes, but learned to put herself back to sleep, it takes time. my oldest daughter was sleeping thru the night at 4 months, so for me this was a big adjustment, it will happen soon, don't worry, and enjoy the time you get to cuddle with him in the middle of the night, cuz soon he will be moving all over the place and won't want to cuddle as much.

Your child could be teething. Have you tried giving him tylenol or motrin at bedtime? Motrin lasts 8 hours... Is he eating enough solid food late in the evening before bed so he doesn't wake up so hungry? Is his room to warm? Try putting him to bed later.... You've probably already tried all of these things... but who knows? Is he getting enough physical activity and fresh air outdoors every day? That works wonders!

Also, I know the myth out there is that all babies sleep through the night by this age, but it's not true! My 3 year old slept through the night from 2-6 months old and then not again until he was a toddler. And he still goes through phases at 3 years old where he'll wake up during the night for a few weeks and then start sleeping better again. I've been where you are. It's exhausting. Nap when you can. And try all of the above... At that age though, teething seems like a likely culprit...

Couple things to keep in mind.....

80% of parents think that their 1 year-olds have a sleep disorder. 80%!! Hmmm... maybe it's not a disorder or out of the usual.

A Harvard Study shows that crying it out is actually bad for babies. It raises the level of cortisol- a stress hormone- that can lead to other neurological problems.

You may need to re-define what "through the night" means. Usually 4-6 hours-- not 12.

We had some of the same issues with our daughters at that age due to growth spurts and teething.

Be patient mamma. He'll grow up faster than you think

Could it be a growth spurt or teething?
My little guy, same age, wakes at sometime around 2 and then around5/6, then wakes for the day at 7ish. His last feeding at night is 7ish.
Good luck! I have 3 under 4 and understand being sleep deprived. My older 2 seem to be waking lately too. Someone is always crying in the night!
Soon it will be me :)

I'm going to throw an odd idea out there that will more than likely not apply. My son was a good sleeper, but had a terrible time falling asleep and if for some reason he did wake up, he had a hard time falling back asleep. He was recently diagnosed with sensory integration dysfunction. Thought I'd throw out the term and a link of possible symptoms on the very small chance that it did apply: http://www.sensory-processing-disorder.com/SPD-symptom-ch...

Have you tried white noise? We run my son's humidifier year long (without water) just for the background noise.

Good luck!
D.

I know it sounds harsh but in the end you will be very thankful and it will only take a few days - let him cry. He will get worse and then he will fall to sleep. the next night it will be a bit better and in a few days, he will sleep fine. I know that attachment parenting says otherwise and I try to follow most of it but in this instance, I think that sleep for both of you is very important for function happily.

Good luck. My daughter is 11 months old and usually still wakes once a night to nurse before going back to sleep. I figure she will stop soon. Probably when she switches over to whole milk, and she's only a baby once. She does seem to wait until about 5-6am sometimes if I give her a big bowl of oatmeal before bed right before breastfeeding. I think I'd lose more sleep listening to her scream than getting up for 20 minutes and feeding her.

I hear you! My 8 1/2 month old son is pushing my limits, too/ Don't forget that this is a major developmental time for them...teething, sitting, crawling (?), trying to stand up. It's also a major separation anxiety time. At this age, they still think they are part of us. Especially if he's in daycare, he's going to want your presence at night (and they are restless sleepers due to teething & developmental milestones). So...what to do? Don't let him cry it out. Your gut is right. Research shows that crying raises the cortisol level in the brain to dangerous levels. What I do is pull my little gu in bed with us. It's what he's longing for. He still doesn't "sleep through the night", but that's not my goal first and foremost. I want to give my baby what he needs whether it be nursing or just feeling comforted by me next to him. Hang in there...this motherhood stuff is tough. Studies show that babies sleep more soundly if you wear them throughout the day (in a carrier of some sort). I'm typing one-handed right now because my baby boy is asleep on me in the mei tai. Once I know he's really out, I'll go lay him in the crib. This is what works for us. Hope you get some sleep soon!!!

What is your definition of "sleeping through the night"?

Does he sleep for 6-8 hours at a time? If so, that qualifies (doesn't help you, though...)

Our 20 month old only started sleeping those 12 hours last month. Nothing we could do to get him off it. He was a preemie with a really fast metabolism and HAD to eat one full bottle sometime during the night. Eventually, he grew out of it. He's also the kind of kid who needs to eat when he needs to eat, and ignoring it would not work, since he'd just wake up an hour later and repeat the process.

If you're weaning him down on his ounces at night, that may be why he's waking up more; he may be hungry. Feed him one big meal and maybe he'll stay asleep. He certainly doesn't need to eat *every* time he wakes up, and this could be contributing to it.

Good luck!

have you tried MORE ounces at night feedings? 8-9 months is a pretty regular growth spurt. so if he's waking more often, i would bet it's because he's hungry from all the growing!

I have an almost 10 month old son and just recently he started consistantly sleeping through the night. How are his naps? I found that if my son took 2 good naps during the day he slept a lot better at night. Books I have read said it is totally normal for a child up to 9 months to still wake up once a night. You are probably going to go to see his doctor soon and I would bring it up at the visit. You always want to rule out ear infection...is he teething, starting crawling or doing something new. Sometimes babies who start new things are now seeing the world differently and just need to touch base more at night. I hope this helps. I know how frustrating it can be. It will get better.