8 Year Old Daughter and Food Issues

Updated on July 19, 2013
E.F. asks from Chattanooga, TN
8 answers

We have the best Pediatrician in the world. When he talked to us about Rebekah's weight he said she needed to remember to eat healthy food early in the evening. He knew how self conscience she has been about her weight. She isn't overweight by any means, but she is pre-disposed to a weight problem in the future.The nice thing is that she is super active. She is on the swim team and during the season which just ended, she swam twice daily for practice and swims at camp for an hour for fun. She plays soccer in the fall and winter as well. She has this one issue I can't get under control. Rebekah loves to sneak food when we aren't near the kitchen. I would like to preface this by saying we don't keep lots of junk in our house and do offer her fruits and vegetables, but we do have crackers in the house and cheese slices in the fridge and for helping my son with constipation issues I have fiber bars. She snuck a bunch of those upstairs too. I don't want to get in her face about it and make her feel like she is overweight as girls especially are sensitive to this. I do not want to set her up for an eating disorder, but I don't want her to sneak food and over eat. Any ideas on what we can do. When I ask her if she ate a bunch of things she will lie and insist she hadn't, when I see the evidence. Thank you for your assistance. I will listen to any and all advice but don't be negative. Please and thank you!!! I have always gotten lots of great advice here. So glad we have this website!

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A.A.

answers from Tulsa on

If you know she's snuck something because you see the evidence, don't ask if she's had it, you know the answer and are just setting her up to lie. Ask why she ate whatever it was upstairs instead of at the table. Try to learn why she's sneaking food, tell her what items are ok for snacks and let her have as much as these healthy options as she wants in the kitchen. Just try not to make an environment where she feels she's going to get in trouble or shamed for eating when she's hungry. You say she's predisposed for a weight problem, I'm assuming you or/and dad have weight issues? If she has seen adults in her life struggling with food issues it's likely she is applying that to her own eating habits.

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S.W.

answers from Minneapolis on

A couple of things could be happening here. First, she could be truly hungry. If she's not overweight, then why can't she eat cheese and crackers? Fruit is sugar and vegetables are so low calorie that neither keeps a growing child satisfied long at all. If you've seen the latest on whole vs. skim milk, for instance, nutritionists are starting to recognize the value of eating foods that satiate (keep us full) for longer periods. We tend to eat less, when we aren't hungry!

Second, if she knows that you don't want her to eat, she may be responding normally, in sneaking food. When a person feels that food is being, or might be, withheld, it's normal to be concerned enough to collect a "stash" just in case.

If your daughter is truly not "overweight by any means" then please teach her (get her back on track) to eat when she's hungry and not eat when she's not hungry. Let her have the cheese and crackers.

I developed an eating disorder starting at 15, when my dad implied by his words and tone and actions that I was "getting fat like my mom". (I weighed 114 lbs.) It took me years, and several relapses, to relearn to eat when I was hungry and not to eat when I was not. Children know this and know how to do it, but are easily misdirected through outside influences. Model good/healthy/reasonable eating behavior, and talk about it less. Make eating and weight not a "deal".

3 moms found this helpful
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K.D.

answers from Raleigh on

Did your pediatrician check to make sure that she isn't pre-diabetic? Maybe hide the fiber bars, except for one or 2 at a time, because those can upset your stomach if you eat too many of them at once. Also perhaps when supper is over, tell everybody (not just your daughter) what is available for snacks if they get hungry - like the specific fruits and veggies that are available and have them very easy to reach. Also, implement a 'no eating in your room' rule to avoid crumbs and bugs. There should be a consequence also if someone eats in their room - they have to vacuum right away and wash their sheets or something like that.

2 moms found this helpful
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G.B.

answers from Boise on

blood sugar swings can cause a person to want to eat- and they wont even know why!

People with high blood sugar will feel hungry and thirsty all the time.They tend to put on weight around the middle.

People with low blood sugar will subconsciously want to eat- the brain signals the blood sugar is low and they will instinctively go for carbs and foods that raise blood sugar fast. I have a hypoglycemic daughter and she tends to crave chocolate

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H.L.

answers from Portland on

My kids have done this a little, with candy mostly. I found a big stash of candy wrappers behind my son's bed. Lol. Instead of making a big deal out of it, I told the kids that they aren't allowed to have food in their rooms, because we will get ants upstairs (which is true). But if they are ever wanting a treat all they have to do is ask me. I also pointed out a few things they can have downstairs when they are wanting something small and sweet and don't want actual candy. As soon as they got the message that it's not them against me, they didn't sneak food again.

1 mom found this helpful
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S.E.

answers from New York on

my first step would be to ask her why.. don't make any mention of the fact that you don't want her doing it and don't let her think you are upset by it, just ask her for an honest answer as to why she feels she has to sneak food

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R.K.

answers from Boston on

Food issues are quite complicated. And sneaking food indicates that your daughter perceives that someone is "controlling" her food or that she is ashamed of her eating. This is something to be concerned about, way more than her predisposition to gain weight. You may wish to meet with a nutritionist to discuss how you could encourage safe, healthy, open-option eating. But whatever you choose to do, consider why she is self-conscious about her weight and work to defuse that. If your daughter continues to have food concerns, please consider scheduling a few sessions with a therapist for you and your husband to discuss choices you could make to help her. So glad you wrote. Wishing you well.

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J.K.

answers from Wausau on

Sneaking food is a serious issue. Not that she wants the food, but the cause of the sneaking. She should feel like she can eat out in the open. I suspect that intentionally or not, you're making her feel ashamed. Make it clear that she can't take food in her room because it is a bug/pest issue, but she is welcome to eat it in the kitchen. Stop segregating the types of food in the house too. If there is something you absolutely don't want her to have, then do not buy it in the first place.

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