8 Year Old Boy with New Attitude!

8 and in 4th grade? He's with significantly older kids -- possibly 2-3 years older than him. I'd bet that has something to do with it. That said--it's not an excuse.
Write house rules. Post the rules. Review the rules.
Review the consequences for braking the rules.
Enforce the rules and consequences consistently.

Your son is 8 yrs old and in 4th grade? If that's accurate, then I'd say his new attitude has less to do with Percy Jackson and more with the fact he's surrounded by 9-10 yr olds (and possibly 11 yrs) all day. Most other 8 yr olds are in 2nd or 3rd grade. A lot of development happens in those 1-2 years. 4th graders are squarely in the tween phase of life, which includes attitude. So, even though your son is only 8, he will be bringing home the behavior that's common among his older classmates.

You're also going to need to be prepared for when your son's classmates start going through puberty much earlier than him, and how that will impact him (self-confidence, relationships, etc). Good luck!

Well, buckle up. He's becoming a tween and you're going to have this streak of independence for the next 4 years or so. So, pick your battles NOW and lay the groundwork.

Remember that neurologically, this is the same type and speed of "brain growth" as he had when he was 3..... except that it's coupled with a tsunami of a hormones.

So, remember that your job as a parent is to TEACH him how to behave because his brain and his impulses are fighting a war, and most of the time his brain is 30-45 seconds behind his impulses. So, get more involved with him (I found it to be equal to the invollvement I had when my daughter was 3)..... but at a different level.

He wants to manage his own life? GREAT!!!!!!! Talk him through the consequences, ad nauseum. You don't want to do homework? What will happen if you don't? (let him come up with answers) "that's right you'll flunk" "what will happen if you don't get good grades" (let him come up with answers) "that's right you won't get into college"..... or whatever. Oh, the conversations were AGONIZING. But you have to teach him how to THINK like a man. he won't just learn that on his own.

I stopped using "because mom said you had to" long before now..... and focused on my daughters role as part of a family. Your son needs to understand WHY it's important. Not because he loses a playdate, but because of how it impacts others, makes other see him (lazy, irresponsible etc) and then what the consequences to THAT are.

It's exhausting. WAY more exhausting than what I called the "terroristic threes".

Now is a GREAT time to expand his knowledge of budgeting, how the family household runs etc. Make him a bigger part of the overall unit. Get him involved. Give him things to "own" and be proud of so you can give him TONS of "great job on the yard.... or whatever" and LIMIT the amount of his ability to misbehave or give you attitude.

A busy boy is a boy who doesn't have time to give his parents trouble.

I also second what the other mama's said about his age...... If you haven't had very specific conversations with him about sex, interpersonal relationship, personal hygiene etc with him yet....... start..... like yesterday. My daughter was the VERY youngest in her class (by 2 or 3 months!!!!) and even she had turned 9 by the first day of 4th grade. lots of girls start their period this year and have started wearing bras. Lots of boys and girls think they want to "like" each other. uggggggh.

Don't turn yourself into the enemy. Be on his side.

Get him prepared to be comfortable talking to you about all the chaos that has erupted into his little world..... instead of being frustrated with the fact that he has lost the ability to control himself!!!!!!

Good Luck.

9-12 years old, is considered a "Tween." ie: Preteen.

Google Search "Tween Boy Development" and many good articles will come up. Read it and arm yourself with that knowledge.

My daughter is 9. 4th grade.
The Moms I know who have sons this age, say that their sons are getting "surly" and not communicating with them or telling them things, like they used to.

And yes, those Percy Jackson books are popular in 4th grade.
My daughter though, does not care for that series.
A good book series is "The Mysterious Benedict Society." I highly recommend this. For this age. My Daughter has it. I love these books as well. Its a New York Times bestseller. It is not about boys/girls or sassy stuff.
The website it: www.mysteriousbenedictsociety.com

Did you ever read, the Percy Jackson books yourself?
Its about Greek Mythology and coming of age, etc.
Here is a link about it:
http://www.commonsensemedia.org/book-reviews/lightning-th...

I read my daughter's books. Its fun and then I also know about, what SHE is reading.

Let him stomp off when he's mad. You gotta keep his feet planted in the ground. Make him realize what is allowed or not.
Regardless of his age.

The books should be no problem. I too noticed that you said your son's 8 in 4th grade. I too have son, whose young for his grade. My son's 13 and in 9th grade. One of the things with gifted children is that they are not mentally or socially the same age as their physical age; otherwise, they wouldn't be gifted. My son went through all the typical developmental stages early. I thought part of it was being in with older kids, but he was always going through developmental stages earlier than other kids before he skipped a grade. (That's why the school started him in kindergarten early...only to have him skip a grade later.) I learned early on to accept the stages as they come, but also to let him know he can talk to me about anything and I promise not to get angry. (Keeping lines open and your head on your shoulders is extremely important with kids and earns their respect.) My son went through the preteen stage when he was 7 or 8. Then started going through the teenage stage when he turned 10. Now, he's right in the middle of the teenage stage and young adult stage. (There are time when he pulls teenager stuff and tries to rebel a little and other times he's carrying my groceries and prying my hands off the lawn mower. Your son sounds like he's in the preteen stage, so you might want to research it for more info. It's a difficult stage; because they rebel, they think they already know everything about the world, they get mouthy, and they try to act how they feel adults act. (We all know their perception of "being adult" is incorrect, but they don't see it like that.) I have found the hardest pill for me to take was to allow my son to fail and learn why what he did didn't work. This means that sometimes you need to let them make some decisions as long as they aren't dangerous ones. Your son said he has his own schedule...Ok, bring it on. As him what his plan is and make him stick to it. If he doesn't want to do his homework right away when he gets home, then what about after dinner? Some people come home from work and crash, rather than doing house work right away. Try to work things out with him. He needs to know that his opinion is important too.

Another reason for his behavior could be the school he goes to. My son's school taught them that they are to be responsible for themselves, when they reache a certain grade. The school enforces the idea that they are to learn how to manage their own time and be responsible for their homework without any parental involvement, other than to let their parents know about their grades and what they are studying and anything that needs to be signed. The school does this to prepare them for college and they start sometime around 5th or 6th grade so they can show them technics for scheduling and studying.

Well at some point they DO start to grow up and they are no longer the docile little toddlers they once were :(
Some attitude is normal at this age, but you can curb it.
Give him more responsibility. If he wants to decide when he does his homework, then let him. Of course I'd still recommend no TV/computer until it's done, but as long as he IS getting it done then that's what matters, right?
As far as the books go, I don't know anything about Percy Jackson but the kids in the HP series are fantastic role models so I wouldn't be looking there.

It's probably more the attitude of the children in his class than it is the books. And for fourth graders, that's not an unusual attitude to have.

Time for you to rein him in. Don't threaten anything you won't follow through with, but let him know that the mouthing is not acceptable. He's trying it out on you. Let him see that it doesn't work. Keep your sense of humor but be firm. If he's looking for loopholes in what you say, let him know he isn't a lawyer yet, but you're the judge.

Next time you go to the library, get the four Mrs. Piggle-Wiggle books by Betty McDonald. He may not care to read them, but *you'll* enjoy them terrifically. I'm thinking particularly of the kid who uses the line, "I'll do it because I want to but not because you tell me to."

He's growing up and testing the waters again.

The first thing that I saw was that you "asked" him to do his homework three times and he was able to "refuse" three times? I don't get that. I don't "ask" my children or GD to do their homework, I TELL them to do it. I don't leave any room for refusal.

I think you need to change your approach because he has gotten the impression that he has a right of refusal! Wrong!!!!

From now no, it's "X do your homework now." Period. End of discussion. Not "Can you please do your homework?" That gives him an option. If you don't want them to suggest options, don't word your instructions so they think they have them.

And if told "X do your homework now" is met with anything but "ok" or "yes, mom" then consequences should be swift and sure. No second chances. He's at that age where he will run you ragged with back talk, excuses, bargaining, etc. Just do it, period - no further discussion.

There are some ages where kids make a developmental leap and it can make them difficult. 8-9 is one of those ages where children suddenly realize the size of the world and the smallness of their place in it, a hard thing to deal with I think we can all agree. Stay strong, stay firm and, above all, stay sane. This too will pass.

Possibly he's mad because you forgot her turned 9 in June? I say that in a joking tone. From your other posts you said he was 9 and turned a few months before september so I'd say he's a preteen if he's almost ten?? hormones?

Hi! My 8 year old has been testing me too, all year long. It has nothing to do with the books. Disregard that idea. Think about all the books we read back in the day, Judy Blume etc. I don't remember being affected by them. Harry Potter is a lot like CS Lewis. Can't blame them.

I suspect it's the same problem my son is having, turning 8. He is trying out a new attitude on me but I won't have it in my house. Even worse, his friends rub off on him in not the best ways all the time. So I've spent a better part of the year undoing or explaining behavior or bad words he's learned ("strippers"?!?- that was a doozy!). I'm glad I remember what it was like at that age, I can remember how the boys in my class spoke and acted, same thing, different decade.

Hope this gives you some different insight. Good luck!

Eliminate the door to his room, any and all electronics inside (including the TV)...there is one in there RIGHT? Get in his little face up close and personal and let him know what's acceptable and what is NOT. He's still just a little boy, so you have a good opportunity to NIP this behavior in the budd. I would also make contact with the parents of his friends, teachers, etc, He may have made a new friend who may also need an attitude adjustment....IF the parents are willing....IF not then you will need to decide if you want to allow the friendship to continue.

Blessings....

It is up to you to teach him an attitude that will allow him to become an independent and contributing member of society.

I doubt it is the PJ books; There isn't a ton of parent/child interaction in the Percy Jackson books, and they are basically good versus evil. There is some eye rolling, and arguing among friends, but I haven't noticed that it has affected my 7 year old's behavior (I read them aloud at bedtime) or my 5 year old's for that matter. I think that there are other books and TV shows (that his friends may be watching and exposing him to) geared toward that age group that have more 'sass' to them. I know my son-who is in 2nd grade- has come saying and singing all kinds of things that didn't come from my house. Some of it, too, may just be his age. 4th grade is hard--getting ready to be the oldest kids in the school, or the youngest, depending on how your district separates elementary and middle. Just stick to your guns and stick with the consequences...only another 10 years or so:)

Just be consistent about what is acceptable with you. You don't have to 'lose it', just be clear. My experience is that they go through growing pains and come back around. The calmer I am, the easier it goes. They know I always love them, but they still can't act like ... (whatever it is).