8 Year Old Boy ALWAYS at Preschool (Kinda Long, Sorry!)

I have no problem with homeschooling (we do it) but I would not appreciate having my 4 year old in that sort of situation, particularly at a professional child care center. That seems strange to me. I'd probably get clarification and move her if I didn't like the answer.

Wow, I feel even sorrier for the boy than the younger kids. What a sucky way to spend his days :(
Maybe he's special needs?
I don't know, why not just talk to the coordinator about it? Then you can decide if that's where you want your daughter to be.

Who owns the preschool? Is the boy the son of the owner? Is the Coordinator the top person in the preschool and can do what she pleases?

If there is someone over her, go talk to them. Have your facts as to who this child is and who he belongs to before you do it. Talk about the problem.

I think I would find another preschool for your child if they don't make some changes. Something IS wrong here and I think that it might be an accident waiting to happen. You are paying for your child to attend, and you should know what this boy's "issues" are if he is around your child. If they try to tell you it's not your business, you should tell them that it IS your business.

I would possibly talk to social services about whether or not they are allowed to do this, and if they are, what steps they have to take to prevent anything untoward happening.

Good luck,
Dawn

Take away his age and you could be describing another 4 year old. Would you be this bothered about his behavior and thus his presence if he were 4 years old? Would you be bothered if, at 8 years old, his behavior were 100% up to your standards and he didn't annoy you beyond belief?

You may find it annoying, but I don't think it's fair to say it's "not right." No, the situation is not illegal. He gets his own tutor and homeschooling. I hesitate to jump straight to thinking that he has special needs but it's clear that there are special circumstances that are possibly due to special needs. It's clear that whatever is going on, his mom is doing the best she can as a parent and her work place is trying to make things easier for her. She must be a valuable employee. I would try to be compassionate to their situation.

That all said, if it makes you too uncomfortable or you find it too distasteful then the best way to make your position clear is to find another daycare. I sincerely doubt that by complaining or "stating your opinion" that the situation with the 8 year old boy is going to change. If it comes down to an employee and her son versus losing a client whose position can easily be filled... they'll let you go with regrets but they'll definitely let you go.

You are right. If it doesnt feel right, it probably isn't. It does change the dynamic of the room and the flow of children---I would bring it up to the administration and tell them you aren't comfortable having an eight year old with your four year old. He shouldn't be there----

My boys, 7 and 10, often come to work with me in the summer and help look after the little kids. The little kids love getting attention from big kids, and my kids get practice babysitting and volunteering. As a rule I see value in having younger kids interact with older kids. Our school has adopted a practice which groups older kids with younger kids, and it has been wonderful for all the kids involved. In this case I would think it is nice for the younger kids to have an older child to play with, but not really fair for the eight year old not to have any kids his own age to interact with.

I'm sorry, but the coordinator is HUGELY taking advantage of her position & workplace. Would an elementary school teacher get away with bringing her toddler or high schooler to class? Of course not.

She doesn't want her kid in traditional school, yet she thinks it's okay to pawn him off to the 4's teacher for cheap/free daycare and then she homeschools him after a full day or work? Yeah right.

I think the set up sounds very weird and is not what you sign up for when looking for age appropriate childcare. I don't care if they have an "alternative" schooling plan for him, but it sounds like he needs to be somewhere else.

I would talk to the director and if nothing happened, I would probably start looking elsewhere for childcare.

I absolutely would not be okay with this. No way. If it were me, I would talk to the director and raise the exact concerns your brought up. If she says the boy is going to stay, I would defintely switch schools.

Is this a private school?
I would not be comfortable with it.
There's not much you can do except to change schools.
I'm sorry if the kids mentally on par with a 4 yr old but he could be there till he's 12 or older.
Size/strength wise he could already do younger kids a lot of damage if he loses his temper.
His parent is not dealing with him by dumping him with preschoolers and it's not fair to the preschoolers or the teachers who must look after him as well as everyone else.

You mentioned he is being reprimanded a lot for being too noisy or not sitting still, some things that are more typical of 4 year old behavior than 8 year old. And he has a tutor come to school which may explain why he is not always in the class when you are there. Perhaps he is developmentally more on par with the 4 year olds? He may homeschool/tutor for the stuff he can do at a higher level, but may need the social interaction of the younger class and is fortunate his parent has that opportunity for him.

Of course, this is just a perhaps as it is impossible to know everything about everyone and their circumstances. An NT 8 year old consistently in a 4 year old class would be very unusual and uncomfortable, no matter who the parent is, but if the boy has developmental/behavioral challenges (that are not a threat to harm any other smaller kids), then the situation is more plausible.

You aren't wrong for feeling this way, yet I don't think it is wrong he is there either since he is a child of an employee who gets alternative education. Kind of a tough situation. I feel sorry for the kid, probably bored as heck and he has no kids his age to socialize with.

I agree he does not belong there. I would speak to someone. Does he have "issues" that prevent him from going to school. If he is the coordinators son, how is he homeschooled. Sounds odd to me.

Preschools are licensed.
To be licensed and remain licensed, you have to meet many rules and criteria and laws.
In addition to the staff/employees, EVEN "volunteers" have to be background checked etc.
That is how it was at my kids' preschools.

Sure, this is an 8 year old boy... but he is not "staff" nor part of the school, and not on anything else, per the school's operations etc.
And there he is, among the kids etc.
AND he is the child of the Coordinator.
So it is "allowed."

You can see what the laws/rules are for preschools there, call some licensing organization/the government etc.
But other than that, well, you change Preschools or battle them about it.
I am sure, you probably are not the only parent... wondering about this 8 year old boy... being there.

Sounds like the kid is special needs and no it isn't illegal.

It would seem it make you uncomfortable, change preschools.

My guess is he is in the 4-year old room because there is nowhere else to put him and he needs to be watched.

Please just communicate your concerns to the daycare. I don't see an issue with him being there if he can behave. He should be helping, or off in a corner doing his own thing.

My daughter is homeschooled and I teach a preschool gymnastics class in the mornings and she comes with me. She either sits on the side and reads a book, or she comes in and helps with the class. She likes to demonstrate the tricks and help the kids.

The preschool needs to handle the boy better.