8 Month Old Sleep Troubles

This sounds so familiar. My baby is almost a year old, and is only recently sleeping through the night. My first child slept through the night with little help before 4 months. We just did what we could with #2 to get him to sleep, and tolerated the nightly wakings as best we could until he was ready for sleep training, at around 11 months. You will know when he's ready for it, and when you're ready for it.

The best parenting advice I ever got was, "Start as you mean to go on."

If you want your son to get himself back to sleep on his own when he wakes up in the middle of the night, you need to teach him to go to sleep on his own at bedtime. Unfortunately he's been trained to only fall asleep when rocked. It won't be easy, but you'll need to break this habit.

I would suggest rocking him until he is drowsy, but not asleep, and putting him down in his crib. Eight months is old enough to let him cry a bit longer than 10 minutes. I know it's heartbreaking to listen to, but you have to stay strong and remember that you are doing him (and yourselves) a HUGE favor by helping him learn good, independent sleep habits now.

When we sleep trained my oldest, she cried for 45 minutes the first night, 20 minutes the second night, 5 minutes the third night and after that she went to sleep on her own with no problems - even when she woke up in the middle of the night. We'd hear her moving around on the monitor, so we knew she was up, but she would just move until she got comfy again and then drift off to sleep on her own. It was a blessing for all of us!

Good luck!!

Our girl (almost 10 months now) also slept well until somewhere around 8 months, then for a while became more difficult. I have heard that at different developmental stages babies have trouble sleeping--when they're learning how to sit up, for example, and when they're learning how to crawl. Also, teething could be an issue for your son. For our daughter, not yet--she's still gumming everything.

I definitely think bedtime should be moved up--try gradually moving it earlier 15 minutes a night until you get to 7:30 or so. He could be overtired, which may be messing with his ability to fall/stay asleep.

We followed a book and used a gentler Ferber method, about a week long plan to help your child learn how to soothe himself to sleep. You establish little go-to-bed rituals (bath, story time, etc.) and put your child to bed drowsy but awake. The first couple of days you sit by the bed so you can soothe the baby with your voice; you are teaching him that you won't pick him up but you are there and paying attention to his needs, building up trust and helping him to feel secure. (That part sounds something like what you are already doing.) When he wakes up in the middle of the night, you go in to him, make sure he's ok without picking him up, and then take your position sitting next to his crib to soothe him as he tries to go back to sleep. Throughout the week you move closer and closer to the door until you get out the door.

I think a key element is the "drowsy but awake" part. He needs to learn how to fall asleep on his own, out of your arms. The first few nights he will cry a bit, but it will probably be for less time than you think.

It totally worked for us and helped us to be more attentive to how much sleep the baby needs, how much she should nap, and how to read her cues. Also gave us a finite plan that we could work with, rather than a hard line "cry it out, no exceptions" policy. Seeing progress quickly also helped us to feel we were doing the right thing, and made it easier to handle whatever crying she did.

I recommend the technique. If you want to use the book we followed, it's called Good Night, Sleep Tight, by someone who bills herself as the Sleep Lady--a friend gave it to me when I was having troubles figuring out how to deal with our baby when she woke up in the middle of the night. Every so often I get it out to review and to look at the later chapters (the book is divided up by developmental stages) to see what I should be aware of as my daughter gets older.

I have no affiliation with the sleep lady or her book--I just thought it was a good, reasonable program written in a well-organized, pragmatic way.

Good luck! Hope it helps.

he could be going through a growth spurt that can affect his sleep. also he could be getting teeth in. either way this should pass soon. my daughter is 17 months old and wakes up time to time.

I had the same problem. It turned out my son had bi-lateral ear infections. The change from being slightly elevated in your arms, to being flat in bed changes the pressure and causes their ears to hurt. I'm sure people have mentioned night terrors to you, they did the same thing when I posted. I'm glad I took my son to the doctor instead of just trying to work through it on our own. I definately think you should see your sons doctor just to rule out anything.

It could be many things. My daughter, now 6, was a great nighttime sleeper until about 8 months old. I nursed her into a deep sleep and would put her to bed around 10pm, and she would wake at 6am. Then, at around 8 months she started crying when I put her down. We tried to do a modified cry it out approach, but we were never consistent. She is still not a great sleeper unfortunately and woke every single night until she was 3. I have no idea if that is just the kind of sleeper she is, or if our inconsistency in our approaches is what caused her to be a not so great sleeper. Some nights we would ignore her, some nights we would go in and comfort her, some nights we would pick her up. The poor girl was probably so confused!

I took a completely different approach with my son, now 8 months old. I fed him in the middle of the night until he gave it up himself (at 5 months), but I stopped nursing him to sleep at around 3 months and I put him down awake. There was some crying, but I never let him scream. I would go in and pat him on the back and reassure him. Now he goes down like a champ and sleeps 11 hours in his crib at night and takes 2 1.5 hour naps a day. You do not have to let your child scream alone in his crib-you can do some type of modified approach where you are comforting him and reassuring him that he is just going to sleep. I recommend the book Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child. It has so many great suggestions in it. Also, I recommend introducing a small blankie or lovey for your baby. I wore a small silky blankie in my bra for a day so it really smelled like me, and Henry immediately became attached to it and now he never sleeps without it. He holds on it it all night!

He might be teething. Our little guy (7 months) did all the same things and in a couple days his first two teeth appeared. They need the extra comfort because it hurts.

Try a different bedtime routine and see if that works. I always used to nurse my son to sleep, but that stopped working so we tried a different routine and that helped. We always give him a bath, then put his pajamas on, I nurse him, then we go sit in his room and read a book to him, give him hugs and kisses as we turn off the light and put him in his crib. Then my husband and I sing a song to him while he's in his crib, say a prayer over him, then tell him goodnight and walk out of the room. He did cry a little the first couple of nights, but then he adjusted and just rolled over and went to sleep. My son could be so hyper and want to play all night, but as soon as we start the routine and get him into bed, he knows it's time for sleep and he is ready. Routines really help. Good luck!

I don't know how long it has been going on, but if it's only been a few nights, I would suspect teething or an illness (maybe and ear infection.) I always know when my kids are sick because they're usually champion sleepers, but if they're not sleeping well, I know that something hurts. I hope this helps.

Dear A.

see if this works for you after you feed the baby at night try the johnson's bedtime bath it's in a purple bottle and when you give him formula make sure that it's warm give him the bottle of milk after you give him a bath let me know if it works

LA Tonya

Have you heard of the book "Secrets of the Baby Whisperer" or "The Baby Whisperer Solves all your Problems" I love these books. Tracy Hogg (Author) is really sensible. I followed her suggestions with my son and he is a great sleeper. Got me out of rocking him for hours without having to let him scream for hours.

Good Luck.

He may be getting some teeth.
Could also be going through a lot developmentally (growth spurt, preparing to crawl, etc).

He'll be sleeping normally again soon - my daughter has gone through this sort of thing a couple of times and always goes back to normal (although her "normal" sleeping patterns have never been that great anyway!).

GOOD FOR YOU for not letting your sweet one cry it out.

My money is on teething. My other guess is that his nap schedule has started changing, my son's did at about 8 months- he dropped the third nap all together and the mornign nap got longer, and afternoon got shorter.... ANyway, bedtime had to be moved up- my 9 month old sleeps from 6:30-7:00PM - 6:30-7:00AM everyday...no night wakings (knock on wood) ever. He sleeps about 2-3 hours during the day in naps in addition to that... I bet your boy needs an earlier bedtime.

Hi A., First thing i want to say is kudos to you for rocking your baby to sleep, I rocked all 3 of my babies to sleep, they are all grown now. Some babies go through changes in their sleep pattern. No mom wants to hear their baby cry, and believe me when i tell your 8 month old knows that, he knows if he wakes up crying mom is going to go in there, so now a habit has been formed. I have given much advice about stop getting up and going to their room, and the habit will be broken, but I know that's what new mom's today call letting them cry it out, When you rock him to sleep, make sure he is conked out sleep, then lay him down, at 8 months old I wouldn't fed him during the,night that will create a very hard to break habit, that's just my opinion OK? I have an almost 9 month old as a drop in sometimes in my daycare, and at nap time I lay him down like all the other kids, and sometimes he cries, and I can't let him lay there and cry, becasue it disrupts the entire nap time, so I tell him Joesph no crying shh no crying, I don't yell, I don't raise my voice, but it is firm enough where he understands I am in charge, and he stops crying and goes to sleep, I said this to one other mommy I think yesterday, you can loveingly and respectfully let children know who is and who isn't in charge, it may sound to grown up for an 8 or 9 month old but done in the right way it can work. My little 2 month old I have, she is already starting to throw baby tatrums, like her mom will go to put in her car seat, and she has already started arching her back and stifing her body so her mom can't put her in the car seat, we tell her in a gentle voice Julianna no, she doesn't know what that means right now but it's is a start to nip tatrums in the bud, so her mom and me aren't dealing with full down out fits. later on. What ever you and your husband decide, be on the same page and be consistant, different things work with different kids, the advice I gave you I have seen work for other parents I know.
Well Good luck, I'm sure you will get much advice from the other mom's out there. J. L.

It may be purely developmental... and "separation anxiety". My son had this at about 6 months old. 'Separation Anxiety" crops up at certain ages... not just at one age.

Or teething, or gas, or he is just changing so much, as all babies do. It's not easy for them either.

And yes, baby sleep patterns DO change... and they change. Sleep is not static. Even adults go through bouts of trouble sleeping.

Try getting a crib toy...my son LOVES his Fisher Price "Ocean Wonders Aquarium." He turns it on himself, and it self-soothes him. ALso, my son has a stuffed cow that he LOVES to sleep with... it's comforting and a "pal" to sleep with. He gravitated to this cow on his own, and it quickly became his best sleeping pal. Or, there is the "Twilight Turtle Constellation Night Light." Both can be found on Amazon.

What I found, is that at this age, instead of plunking them down in the crib, and the crib being all bare and hard and uncomfortable... perhaps, (like we do) we have some baby safe stuffed toys in there with our son, and we put a soft blanket under his crib sheet to make is "softer" and more cozy. My son has enjoyed this and he now has a routine of playing with them a little before he is lulled to sleep, on his own. It self-soothes and is comforting for them. At least for my son... it worked, and it made his crib a LOT more enjoyable.

Also, listen to his cries... there are different cries... some are just that they are lonely, sometimes it IS distress, sometimes it is just complaining, sometimes it is calling for you, sometimes it is just the crying/fussying they do before actually falling asleep. IF you wake them just at that moment they are crying a little before sleeping... you will wake their cycle... and you will have to start all over again so that they can wind down and get sleepy again.

All babies are different... what works for one may not work for others. But find that one thing. Also, KEEP to a routine pre-sleep... and keep it consistent. SAME sleep time, same pre-sleep routine and process, SAME everyday. I've done this with both my kids... and although they go through developmental moments that will abrupt their sleep... it is a phase, and they will get back to their regular pattern. But, you have to be consistent in whatever method you choose. If you keep it up, they will attain good sleep habits later.

Also make sure he naps.... over tired babies/children actually do NOT sleep well at night.

ALso make sure that if this is a growth spurt, that he is not hungry. At growth spurts they get hungrier and more frequently. Breastmilk/formula is the PRIMARY source of nutrition for a baby in their first year of life. Feed him on demand.

Well have to go, my son just woke from his nap,
All the best,
Susan

Hi A.,
I've worked with a sleep psychologist and from the info I've gained from her this is what I'm seeing from what you've written. First, he's going to bed way to late, somewhere between 6-8 pm depending on the baby. Also, he needs a regular bedtime routine, and to be put down while awake in order to learn how to get himself to sleep. It's awful to listen to your little one cry, I know it breaks my heart, but he doesn't have to do it all alone. If you put him down and let him cry for about 5 min. then pat his back and tell him you love him, or whatever you'd like. Then keep stretching the amount of time before you go in. Make sure you're calm, because if you go in anxious and upset, your little man will sense it and go "Oh no! Mom's upset this must really be bad!", Your baby is learning a new skill and is crying out of frustration, but he will get it.
The big thing is being consistent! I was inconsistent when I first started sleep training and my poor little baby was so confused, once I started being consistent and pushing her slowly she got it! Last night she went 10 1/2 hours before she woke up and then she nursed and slept for another hour. Ya!
Best,
S.

Go to www.3daysleep.com - your baby will be back to sleeping in NO TIME!! Davis Erhler is the BEST when it comes to sleep issues. She guarantees her 3 day sleep solution or you get your money back. She has a great video - for only $39.95 - that will answer your questions quickly!! Who has time to read books???? I did a phone consultation w/her but I think the video will be a lot of information for you.
Good luck! :)