HELP ME! My son is simply not a sleeper! From birth he has been more alert and engaged than any other baby I know. He's perfect in every way except sleep. He has never slept through the night (well maybe 2 or 3 times but flukes). We've tried everything I can think of. Lots of milk before bed, solid food before bed, moving bed time up, moving it back, 2 naps in the day, 3 naps in the day, 1 nap in the day... his pattern is to fall asleep for the night around 8pm, wake at midnight (he takes a bottle then), wake at 4 am (wants another bottle) and then sleep until we get up in the morning. I know he can go 6-8 hours without a bottle, every so often he'll do it during the day. I've given bottles of water vs. milk, and he won't take a pacifier for his life. ??
I've tried letting him "cry it out" for 5,10 minute intervals (breaks my heart), going in and rubbing his back, soothing and leaving, in and out over and over all night, but until he gets the bottle, he cries and works himself up. Now that he can pull himself up to standing, he'll hold onto the crib rail and as he gets more tired I've heard him let go of his arms and bonk his head . Also, sometimes after he has the 4 am bottle he's up and ready to go, but clearly I'm not ready to be up for the day.
In a perfect world, I'd like to give him a bottle at 8pm and midnight and then have him sleep straight through until 7am or whatever rather than sleeping from 8-4am etc. I desperately need other ideas! THANKS!!!
this may not be helpful at all, but have you tried different brands of pacificers? When my daughter was very new she would only take a soothie, when she was about 6 months she switched and would only take a nuk. Good luck.
My daughter didn't sleep through the night until she was 10 months old. I was a deranged nut job - literaly - because I never slept. She's 4 now and very active and at times needs constant stimulation. however, now when she sleeps she crashes cause she's so tired. It will catch up with him and he'll be a great sleeper eventually. But when he's awake he may be like a little tornado. My daughter is up at the crack of dawn though. She's just an early riser. My 11 month old is sleep by 10pm and wakes up at 9am. All kids are different. We just have to adjust. My husband is an early riser so he gets up with our oldest and I sleep in with the baby.
Hang in there - you will find your pattern. He's just trying to figure things out. He'll settle into a more predictable routine eventually.
In a perfect world all babies would sleep 8 hours in a row :) I'd like that too! My daughter is 12 months, and doesn't sleep through the night.
I have not advice for you, just know that it's totally normal for babies not to sleep straight through. I'd do what works for your family to get the most rest you can.
Good luck! Just know you are not alone in your sleepless nights, and know that it will get better. My two older boys didn't sleep through until after 15 or 16 months, but since then sleep like "babies" :)
jessica
Yes, in a perfect world...
My oldest didn't sleep through the night until she was 9 months. My youngest just turned 2 and she still doesn't sleep through the night. I think some babies just need a little extra love during the night, and you might have one. As a full-time working mom, I am exhausted. However, I have learned to cherish and appreciate our nightime rendezvous. She'll be grown before I know it, so a couple years of this isn't so bad.
Good luck!
R.
You probably don't want to hear this, but my first didn't sleep through the night until he was 3 1/2, and my second is now 26 months and is still up about 3 times a night (between 10 and 6), just for the heck of it. I am not willing to let them cry it out, and I know some people would say that is our problem, but I let them fuss for 5-10 minutes...and sometimes that works...but if they keep going, they're either not ready or too keyed up. Anyway--I think some kids just struggle with sleep, and if he's only up 3x a night, with four hour stretches in between, that's not too bad.
My 9 month old boy is still getting a bottle at 3 am....two weeks ago, it was still 1 am and 5 am...then I just started only rocking (no bottle) at 1 am, but giving a bottle at 5 am, and after about a week, he stopped waking up then at 1, and moved to 3 am, and then up for the day at 7am.
My daughter who is now 3, uas still waking every 3-4 hours at 8 months and so we let her cry it out, extiction style ( where you do the bedtime routine, put themdown and let them cry till they exhaust themselves) and after 3 days of crying ( 1st day 45 min, second 20 min, and 3rd, 10 min) she because a great sleeper - afte the first night, she slept all the way throught the night, from 6:30 pm to 6:30 am. It was hard to do , but very worth it
. hse ha been a great sleep er since.
some babies are just like this. for the most part, for anyone to say that babies should do anything is completely bogus. each baby is different.
my son didnt sleep through the night regularly until he was 15 months old, and still didnt do it every night until he was 17 months old. he was a nursing baby, so we coslept/bedshared until then. he just turned 3 and about 2 weeks before his birthday we moved him into his own room and we have had little to no issues with bedtime from the day he was born and even now that hes 3 he really goes to bed great.
the most important thing about parenting is that YOU are the expert. crying it out does NOT work, baby gets confused when you will come to him and when you wont, and he also will get more upset and discouraged when you dont come. its unpredictable, and he feels insecure about when you are coming. this undermines his ability to trust in you to respond to his needs. hes also 8 months old; a common age for separation anxiety to start.
if at all possible, see if theres a way he can sleep in your room. trust me, its not as bad as the naysayers think, especially if you just listen to your instincts and the needs of your baby. im sure that your baby does NOT know the difference between something he wants and somethign he needs yet - that usually happens around 12 months old. you will notice a difference in how he cries when that change happens. sometimes the cry is urgent and immediate response is required, and other times the cry is more of a complaint, you will know. but you have to listen really close now in order for that to work out the best.
anyway, just keep listening to him and do what you can. if you have to have him sleep with you for a while, its not the end of the world, trust me. they will sleep on their own, and you will notice when they are ready, my son wouldnt sleep as well with us as without us, so i knew he was done needing to sleep in bed with us.... LOL. its amazing how they swear up and down that if you let your kids sleep with you that they will never want to leave or sleep on their own, but its actually the opposite, the more confidence and security you can give a child about sleep when they are babies, the better they will feel about sleep for their whole lives! :)
Oh I'm so sorry you are struggling with this! My husband and I had such a hard time with my now two year old. I struggled with letting her cry too, but realized that I just could do it! She always seem to sleep best in our bed (which I really didn't want to make a habit) but finally came to terms with the idea of it. I don't want to push bed sharing with you at all, just wanted to let you know that after 1 1/2 years of trying to get my daughter to sleep through the night in her crib, nothing worked...but after letting her sleep on a mattress next to our bed, she now sleeps 12 hours through the night. Its so funny too because her 8 month old brother sleeps just fine in his crib in another room! It just seems that she has a different need (to be closer to us at night) than he does. It was hard to accept but now that we have we all sleep better....and thats what most important to us right now! Hope you find something that works!
Hi Kiera
I think Erica had really good advice I just wanted to add that a baby is only capable of sleeping 6-8 hours between feedings and 8-4 is eight hours so if you would like him to sleep until 7 you may try putting him to bed at 11.
Sorry to hear your frustration. It sounds like he knows what it takes to get that bottle. There are great books on sleep training out there - I used the Baby Whisperer.
I would suggest you go for one week of CIO at longer intervals. Don't give in, wear earplugs if you have to, watch the minutes tick by on the clock, but stay out of his room for at LEAST 20 minutes at a time. It might take up to 5 horrible nights - but it will give you some results...and sleep. We did this with my son at 6 months, and after 3 nights he was sleeping through the night 7p-7a, and still is today at 2 1/2. Good luck.
You may not be aware that sleeping 5 hours continuously is officially defined as "sleeping through the night." It may not be realistic for you to expect your 8-month-old to sleep 8 hours continuously.
Not that this helps your current frustration, but a specialist on gifted education told me that many gifted children need less sleep than average (beginning at birth). Your child may need less sleep than most babies his age.
Sounds like my son, he is almost 9 months and I'm in the exact same sceanario. I know some day he will just learn how to sleep! I always tell him he needs to learn what sleep means. I don't have advice for you either, but know what you mean to wish if only just the midnight waking, it would be so nice!!
My daughter was that way till she was about 1 and then it was only 2-3 times at night for several years. Even at age 4 I hear her wake sometimes. You'll most likely get tons of suggestions on books but nothing worked for me. Truth is some kids just have trouble sleeping much like some adults do and it has nothing to do with parenting skills or being a matter of training them. I remember calling the doctor at some point asking if there was something I could give her. He just laughed and said, "no but I can give you something". Thanks doc. It sucks but there is a light at the end of the tunnel.
None of my boys ever slept through the night until they were done with their teeth. So, about 2 1/2 or so. I never can understand the crying it out. If our three year old is crying in the middle of the night.....you go to him and stay with hime until he is comforted and back to sleep. Why would you act any different to a baby that cannot communicate with you except to cry. For some reason he needs you.....comfort, hunger....whatever. And yes....crying it out will work, but what are communicating to your baby...you aren't there if he needs you. I would love to get two four hour segments a sleep a night. Just another mom's opinion.....
That was my son.
My daughter was up 3 or 4 times until 15 months. I think I played along with it too much. I was nursing whenever she cried. But when I was tired, it was easy to nurse her so she'd fall back asleep.
I'm just letting you know what I did, for better or worse.
He'll sleep better soon. They all do eventually!
