7Th Grader Starting a New School

I teach in a middle school...7th grade is tough!!!

I would contact the Guidance Counselor as the new school and see if they have a buddy program or a student-led welcome team. We use one in our school and it's awesome! There are a group of kids that will take the new students on a tour of the school and help them to get acclimated. This is done without adults...so the kids can visit and get real with each other. The welcome team then kind of watches out for the new kids...making sure they are finding their classes, sitting with them at lunch, introducing them around, etc.

I would also encourage you to go in to the school with him a day or two before it starts to see if you can meet some of the teachers. It might help him feel more comfortable in class.

Best of luck to your son and your family!!!

It's actually more comforting for kids to have their feelings acknowledged than for parents to try to convince them everything's just fine. I'd spend some time sitting with him, maybe over a snack or doing some little project together, and just letting him talk. You can kick it off with a question like, "So, this changing school business is pretty hard, isn't it?" Let him ramble, and just say, "MmmHmm," or "Yeah, I get that," or "I see." If he seems to get stuck not saying much, you can encourage him to continue with, "So, I'd like to hear what else you're feeling."

When he gets to the bottom of his emotions, avoid giving him a solution, but offer to brainstorm ideas with him that would help him deal with his anxieties. Make a list. He may come up with some pretty good ideas. After being heard and empathized with, he'll probably simply not feel as anxious, and he will feel supported by you.

The terrific book How to Talk So Kids Will Listen, and Listen So Kids Will Talk teaches parents how to help their children identify and communicate their feelings and needs, and participate in working them through, in a clear, understandable, and respectful way.

I use this approach with my grandson, and it really helps him when he's having a not-so-happy time.

Tell him to hang in there! I moved when I was in 6th grade and it turned out to be the best thing. We didn't move until the beginning of October but that was fine - it was great being the new kid. I think that between 6th & 7th grade was where you really begin with the close friendships (some of mine have lasted almost 30 yrs. Good luck to all of you!

Jr. high school is major transition, anyway; and add a new community. Whew! Can you spell S-T-R-E-S-S?!

Since males usually relate better side to side than face to face, I'd suggest that you get him in the car with you (or another trusted adult who would do it) and just get him talking without any derrogatory comments, scoffing, pooh-poohing his feelings or any such thing. If HE can get to the bottom of his actual fears and someone can rationally talk them out with him, I'm sure this would help immensely.

Otherwise, I'm clueless! LOL Hope this helps, tho!

You may want to try taking him for Open House. Exploring the school really gives children a sense of security. He will know where the restrooms are, how to find his classroom, and learn about all the cool stuff the school has to offer. I'm sure you can talk to his teacher and ask her to set him up with a child in his class that can introduce him to other kids.

Also, you may consider throwing a back to school party so he can mix with his classmates outside of school. At the same time you can meet other parents that can show you around your new town!