7 Yr Old Waking up at Night

You have to draw up some boundaries or you will be sleeping in the room when he is 15.

Make a new routine where you do not go to him. He is not 3 to 6 months old he is 7 years old. You have conditioned him to be dependent on you to go to sleep and now you are paying the price of no sleep for you. Stop sleeping on the floor. You have your own bed to sleep in now use it!

He is just going to have to learn on his own that all will be fine and he is safe. You have given him all the little things to make him safe. The next step would be the peds office for a consultation. Time for some tough love.

Good luck to you.

the other S.

I feel your pain with my 6.5 year old. I have no advice for you (as I likely need the same myself!). HOWEVER, I know how it feels when your child (no matter how old) needs you and how it feels to push them away. Maybe you can allow him to come into your room and go to sleep on the FLOOR quietly. Then he's close to you and you are able to sleep in your bed. Eventually the floor wont be so comfy and he'll move back on his own. That 's our new plan anyway :) Best of luck and don't be too hard on yourself :)

My sons are 13 and 11. When the second was born, he had his own room. My older son was just under 2 and while he had slept fine in a crib would not stay in his room in his toddler bed. When the little one was big enough for a bed too, the two of them always ended up in the same place. To this day, they choose to share a room. They don't want to sleep alone in a room.

Have your twins sleep in the same room and see how it goes.

In college most people share a tiny dorm room with another person. Your reason for separating them is actually the opposite of what they would need to be used to doing.

I would put them in 1 room so they don't feel alone. Come teenage years they may want separate rooms but maybe not. I think going from co-sleeping with you to alone in a room might be too big a leap. If they are happy in 1 room, let them sleep together. If they like their own rooms during the day, you can always get a trundle or a camping pad for one of them so they can truly just sleep together. My girls are 3 years apart, started in separate rooms at birth, slept together when the oldest was 5 to about 10, then the youngest wanted a door so she could get her sister to sh*t up (she can talk and talk and talk, especially in the evening). We still read stories together in the big bed, or sometimes I would sit in the hall between their rooms (their doorways touch) for stories but then kiss them both and that was it. I would not force this issue if having them in 1 room works for them for now.

7 years old you tell him he stays in his room. He is not a two month old! Maybe have the boys share a room. You need to fix this now. Once in a whole, a bad dream, sure they all come in. That is different from what you are describing.

7?! This is just a bad habit and so ingrained in him now... it sounds like you just have to go cold turkey at this point. He knows you love him, but just needs to learn on his own how to fall asleep. For 7 years he hasn't had to. Make a consistent bedtime routine... book, snuggle time etc. and that is it. Tell him that his bedroom is for him and your bedroom is for you and that you will not sleep in his room any more. Maybe make a list of the reasons you will go in his room in the middle of the night (ie. sick, accident etc.) and make it very clear. Other than that, maybe just use a similar tactic to CIO... wait several minutes, if he keeps yelling, go in his room and say, "love you, it's time to sleep", then walk out. Next time, wait a bit longer before going in. Don't turn on the light, engage in conversation and be consistent.

I literally just went through this with one of my twins. I never let them sleep with us so what we went through is a little different in the sense that he was a great sleeper and then started to have trouble getting back to sleep overnight. He's 8.5 and there doesn't seem to have been a trigger. He would sleepwalk an hour after going to bed and then get up about every two hours saying he couldn't sleep. We would send him back to bed, but like you we did resort to having him with us or just staying in bed with him. At some point you need to get some sleep to function.
So, I took him to pediatrician to rule out any medical issues that sleepwalking could be a precursor to. He recommended a sleep therapist. The therapist had us do a reward system. One star for each night that he did not wake us up over night. Twenty stars a prize. Doc said turn off ALL electronics (including tv) for one hr before bed. Keep a consistent bedtime and wake up schedule, have a book and flashlight handy for wakeups overnight so he can read to help himself back to sleep, use visualization to get back to sleep (like imagining you are playing a baseball game). My job was to keep any overnight interactions with my son as short as possible. If he comes in my room and he is ok and just can't get to sleep, sAy I love you and you can do this. My son is back to his past sleeping habits :-)
You can do this. It will be a little different since you have been helping him sleep all this time. It will be hard to see him struggle with the change but you already said it is for his own good as well as yours to get a good nights sleep. Sleepovers will start soon amongst his friends. He will want to be a better sleeper for those experiences. Best of luck! You can both do it

I haven't read the other responses, but I might have a different perspective. I think what's going on with your son is totally within the "normal" range. Despite what society says, being a child isn't carefree, and it isn't easy. There's a lot going on in their lives, and a lot going through their little brains. My two older kids, age 4 and 6 1/2, share a bed. They didn't want separate rooms, and share a bed even though they have bunkbeds! My son, who is 6 1/2 never slept well until he started sharing with his sister--he would wake up yelling and screaming, calling for us, etc. I'm sure that will happen again as we're about to separate them at night because my daughter keeps him up late with all her chatting! Before they shared rooms, like you, I felt like we had tried everything--calming music, a nightlight, stuffed animals. The truth is, I think there's truly no replacement for a human being, lol.

So what worked BEST for us? A consistent bedtime routine every night--bed about the same time, and the same order of events...bath (which definitely helps to calm), pjs, story, prayer, bed, etc. Giving him Calms Forte as needed helps. I bought Badger sleep balm, and rub some on his temples before sleep--it's "sweet dreams balm." Does he still ocassionally wake up at night? Yes--especially during times of change or stress.

But I disagree with the idea that he must stay in his own bed every night. If that's what you want, then that's different. But it's completely normal for kids to want and/or need a parent during the night from time to time. My kids know they are welcome in our bed--they need to go to sleep in their own beds, but are allowed to come in during the night. They will go through periods of coming in during the night for a few nights in a row. But other than that, they don't. I think just knowing they can may help them to sleep better.

If you don't want him in your bed, you could also compromise by maybe allowing him to sleep in a sleeping bag on the floor of your room?

Good luck. Hope you all get some rest.

P.S. One other thing that seems to help is, last thing before saying goodnight to him, is asking him what his favorite thing was that day, or the thing he's most looking forward to tomorrow. The idea is to get his brain in a positive mode.