My daughter is 7 weeks. I kept telling myself I wouldn't worry about where she sleeps, only when for the first few months, but now I am. We can only put her down when she is totally passed out, and I'm afraid she will be dependent on it. At her night feedings (2-3) it takes at least an hour to get her so sleepy she will go back in her cradle. Usually it's always me because my husband is working nights. By the 3rd feeding I take her in bed with me because I'm so tired.
She also sleeps so much better on her tummy, but I am afraid of that so we only do it for naps and keep checking on her. That is also a problem because now we worry she wont be able to sleep any other way.
She will not stay asleep for naps, wakes up, and is stil tired. Then all of the sudden she's wide awake. I have no problem with letting her cry at some point, but isn't she too young for that now?
I know she's getting overtired and it makes our days so tough because she is crying so much, wont let us put her down (she also hates the baby carrier) , but wont stay asleep. Any suggesstions?
Well, it's only been one day. Its so interesting how sleeping advice can differ so much from parent to parent. We have swaddled, I've tried the smell thing, and I use a wedge.I'm glad others agree that she is too young to cry it out, that was my instinct. We've been trying side sleeping with a wedge. She doesn't like being completely swaddled like that, but last night we just swaddled tight around her body, and let her arms out to support her at the top of the wedge. I also rolled up a receiving blanket and tucked it in to make her really tight. She didn't sleep at all our bed last night! Also different is I let her fuss. I was getting her up to feed her when she was fussing, but last night I let her and she fell back to sleep on her own, several times! She has actually slept mostly at night since she was born, it's the napping that is difficult and the difficulty she has falling back asleep in the middle of the night, I think due to being over tired. I will try a new carrier, and yes she hates the swing too (weird).
Thank-you for all your advice! I love mamapedia!
Have you tried a swing? You say she hates the carrier, but didn't mention trying a swing. Also, you might try one of those noise machines that makes a heartbeat sound - that might comfort her a little. I just know my kids loved sleeping in the swing.
First and MOST important-at 7 weeks you baby is entirely too young to attempt letting her cry!!!! Even Dr. Ferber (whose method is commonly called cry it out) says you do not start that type of training until around 6 months! Please reconsider the school of thought of letting her cry. It floods baby's system with stress hormones. Not good. Not that there aren't some tears with sleep training but there are kinder and gentler ways to do it. And you need to understand how babies sleep before going into sleep training. The most important thing to understand is babies have to be TAUGHT how to sleep. They don't just know how and leaving them to cry doesn't teach them. They fall asleep from exhaustion from crying. Check out Dr. Sears and the Baby Whisperer (I don't totally agree with everything she offers) but you will be able to gleen a lot of very useful sleep info and idea to form a sleep routine for baby.
Now-please google "4th trimester" That is where your baby is. The first 3 months of life are a huge adjustment period to life on the outside and they still need/crave the comforts of the womb. That's why she likes to be held for sleep and carried. Find a different carrier. Look at slings that are highly adjustable like a mayawrap or mei tei. Swaddle her before you start trying to get her back to sleep. She needs the comforts of you and the womb right now.
You are wise not to let her sleep on her tummy during the night. This country experienced a huge drop in SIDS deaths after the "Back to Sleep" campaign was launched. The only, only, only way I would let one of mine sleep on their tummy would be if I invested in a high-end mattress monitor for breathing movement.
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I think its definitely too young to let her cry it out.
Imagine being her. She's been in this world a few short weeks, still doesn't know much, and if she can't see you she believes you've completely disappeared into nothingness.
When thinking of it this way, I think it's completely normal to want to sleep on or close to a parent who smells like love and sounds like home. If she's having problems napping, wear her around the house (try a different carrier) while you do things. It's actually great for babies to be as close to their momma as much as possible; Quite contrary to some beliefs, this closeness actually allows them to gain independence much sooner than most "cry it out" babies.
For night sleeping, perhaps get your smell into her bed as much as you can. Before you put a sheet on her bed, sleep with it a few nights so it smells like you.
And I for one think it's OK to nurse your baby to sleep. I did it every night with my son, and he's now a healthy 16 month old who sleeps in his own crib in his own room and puts himself to sleep now. He never had any problem with separation anxiety or sleeping. He knew I was there when he needed him, and now he's COMPLETELY blossomed into this little toddler boy who continues to amaze me. :)
Good luck, momma!
Try put her in a sleep sack... or swaddle her.
Many infants/babies like sleeping on their tummies... it is more like how they were in the womb as well. But yes, it is not recommended at such a young age.
Is she in a bassinet? Or crib? or what do you mean by "cradle?" Sorry if I"m dense... but my son, slept REAL well, in a Moses Basket. It is WONDERFUL.
Many infants/newborns like a closed in feeling... because it is like the womb, and they like sleeping on top of your chest because they can hear/feel your heart beat and breathing... which is comforting to them. That is how it was in the womb.
Every 3 weeks in an infant is also a growth-spurt time, so keep feeding on demand 24/7... and she may even be needing to "cluster feed" which means a baby feeds even every 1 hour or less. This is also normal and reflects their growing and development needs. Also make sure you are producing enough milk (if nursing) because otherwise a baby will not be full enough.... and cannot sleep and they will always be hungry. Also make sure she is latching on properly... otherwise she won't be getting enough intake either.
For a newborn... they get tired about every 2 hours after being awake. So... gauge it and her....
For night feedings (or anytime).. it should not take 1 hour to get her "so sleepy" again. Usually, if a baby is nursing well and getting enough intake.. they will be real tired/sleepy or even fall asleep at the breast. So, make sure she is getting enough intake. Do you actually see her swallowing and hear her swallowing? Many babies will not sleep if they are still hungry. Many of my friends babies were like that. Their babies simply were not feeding well, nor getting enough intake. Once they corrected that... then their babies slept a TON better and were more regular.
Over-tiredness... yes, it actually makes it much harder for the baby to fall asleep, and to stay asleep, and they actually wake more and have a worse sleep.
all the best,
Susan
My kids both slept on their tummies from day 1.. that is the only way they would sleep.. did you know taht babies shouldnt be awake for more than abou 2 hours??/ if she is awake longer thatn that she is too tired..
read the book healthy sleep habits happy child..
read "The Happiest Baby on the Block" and Swaddle!Swaddle! Swaddle!
white noise may help too.
You need to start putting her down relaxed but awake or you'll have to pay the piper when she's 4 months old!!
7-8 weeks is a growth spurt time and she may want to eat non-stop for a week or two and then she'll calm down.
First - both of my children (now teenagers) slept on their tummies in their own beds from the minute they came home from the hospital. As a matter of fact, they were both on their tummies in the hospital because they wouldn't stay on their sides.
She might just need to cry... My sister was a crier... she needed to cry herself to sleep. If we left her alone it didn't last long... if we tried to comfort her we just prolonged the inevitable..
She needs to learn to self comfort. If she is safe, dry, and fed I'd say let her cry for 5 min. and then go in and pat her back. Then repeat.
Just remember - right now this seems like an eternity. Soon enough it will be over and you'll be wondering where this big kid came from!
YMMV
LBC
I understand how stressful being a new Mommy can be. Of course you want to do everything that's best for your baby. Have you tried to soothe your baby with warm bath, some fresh air, and easy gentle music in the background when you lay her down?
Sometimes babies need to be held close for security and you might want to place her in her cradle and gently rub her tummy till she falls to sleep.
It helps if you can call a family member to come in and give you a little break once-in-awhile. When we are tense our baby will sense this and react.
Try Swaddling Her Arms down and firm. Her away time should only be 45 min
then sleep for 2-2/12 hours. routine routine. feed bay play with baby(all in that 45 min) change baby burp again swaddle put down awake. She will learn to self soothe Let cry the longest 20 min then go in burp-change and re-swaddle. (you can work up to it) It will me hard a first but the rewards are for years to come. Take a shower take a walk turn the monitor to low and set a timer.
The middle of the night feeding sounds like she is getting stimulated. NO lights NO talking to her. Just feed burp change and swaddle.
Also, if she is spitting up could be acid reflux. Prop up head of crib under the mattress with a folded towel and call Doctor.
Good Luck- www.themommy-consultant.com
My daughter slept a lot better on her stomach, it kinda worried me and I talked to my dr. and he said to let her sleep whatever way that she sleeps best! He said that 10 years ago studies showed that sleeping on the tummy was best, now they say the back, he said they don't really know, they are just guessing....I did with both of my kids that liked it better 2 out of 3....they are both just fine. I think that you need to do whatever you need to do to help her to sleep. If she is over tired, and crying anyways, you may just want to put her in her bed. She will learn to put herself to sleep. It won't hurt her any.
First of all, before you can follow any advice you need to ask yourself if you have the strength and energy to follow through and stick with some changes. If not, don't despair, just spend the next 3 days getting as much rest as you possibly can. Forget the dishes, making the bed, laundry, etc... And also don't worry about "habits" you're instilling in your daughter. Three days isn't going to do any damage. When I am at the stage where I'm beyond exhausted with my son (now 4 months) I bring him into bed with me after one of his short crummy afternoon naps, lie down with him and just let him nurse as long as he wants. Inevitably, we would both fall asleep for a long time, sometimes 3 hours. It's the only way I can bring us both back from extreme exhaustion. Kind of a reset before another change. Also, if you daughter is having a growth-spurt she will be delighted to nurse without restrictions.
When you've recovered part of your sanity, then think about making some changes. I definitely recommend swaddling. Also, if she's a good eater, you could try a pacifier for soothing. Gripe water is also really effective at calming so they can fall asleep more easily. For night feedings I use a night light, the kind you can switch on and off. And I keep it a little removed from his sight so he's not attracted to a single light source. I never talk to my baby at night, just pick him up, feed him, and put him back down. At this point, he's so good at finding the boob I don't need the light anymore.
If it's any consolation, my little guy is also a terrible napper. Usually sleeps 30 minutes at a time and by the end of the day he's really strung out. I don't know what to do about it except wait it out and trust that his naps will stretch out at some point. I also never keep him awake longer than 2 hours if I can help it.
Another point of consolation: weeks 6-8 are considered the fussiest period in newborn life. Keep your chin up. It will get better. Once she gets past the 8 week mark she'll begin to communicate more with her facial expressions, which really helps.
best of luck.
Hello J., As the mother of 5 and having raised several other children as well I thought I would add my 2 cents worth of advice.
You baby is a newborn and this is what newborns do~ your little one has no other way that to cry to let you know her needs for comfort. If one baby swing/carrier doesn't work try and borrow one from a friend that is different. I have to be honest and tell you that I don't see a problem of your baby sleeping next to you, My husband had them sleep on his chest or shoulder until they were nearly 1 and as teens and adults they would still cuddle to his shoulder for comfort. The hardest lesson I had to learn with our 1st child was that my world as I knew it had changed to fit the needs of a baby-- but I knew that I had this child becasue I wanted to and made the adjustments. I had friends that thought the baby should adjust to them and had lots of problems. So nap when the baby naps and eat and drink plenty of water to give yourself fuel, you are still making adjustments and your body needs its rest. If you and the father can't do it alone then ask someone to watch the baby while you sleep so you can be on top of it later(my daughter in laws are great about this). Buy a comfortable rocker/glider and learn to sleep in that while holding the baby I have 5 and never dropped one yet nor any of my 12 grandchildren! So try different rockers,baby swings, and learn to relax and just hold the baby with soft music on and see if things don't change.
This is the first of your many adventure into parenthood- you will learn much more each day and the word sacifice and LOVE will have a whole new meaning for you. There will be many twists and turns just like an amusement ride but I will promise you that it is all worth it and the joy your little one can give with just a smile is great enough to light up a whole room. Feel free to contact anyone from Mama Source for help we are all only a moment away to support you.
I would ask iIs it possible her nights and days are confused? Is she sleeping too long during the day? A 7 week old baby needs LOTS of sleep, so sometimes it's hard to tell! But then you say she isn't really staying asleep for naps either. I'm just wondering if that's what is taking her so long to get back to sleep at night. When mine woke up at night to eat, they'd go right back to sleep. I'd make sure she is getting plenty to eat. All three of my babies (now 5, almost 3, and almost 1 year) always slept on their bellies and were fine. You have to do what you feel is best for your baby. BUT! If you are so uncomfortable with it that you lay awake at night worried, then it isn't worth it! Have you tried a sleep wedge? Sometimes it helps the baby to feel more secure.
Updated
I would ask iIs it possible her nights and days are confused? Is she sleeping too long during the day? A 7 week old baby needs LOTS of sleep, so sometimes it's hard to tell! But then you say she isn't really staying asleep for naps either. I'm just wondering if that's what is taking her so long to get back to sleep at night. When mine woke up at night to eat, they'd go right back to sleep. I'd make sure she is getting plenty to eat. All three of my babies (now 5, almost 3, and almost 1 year) always slept on their bellies and were fine. You have to do what you feel is best for your baby. BUT! If you are so uncomfortable with it that you lay awake at night worried, then it isn't worth it! Have you tried a sleep wedge? Sometimes it helps the baby to feel more secure.
babies need the feeling of mom or dad at this point still, she is only 7 weeks! If she doesn't like the carrier you have, you should try another one. My youngest daughter lived in the MeiTai carrier for the first 3 months of life :-)
Are you swaddling for nap/bedtime? If not, you might want to try it...some babies cannot sleep without it. Both of my girls were side sleepers, they would not sleep on their backs like was suggested so I would "prop" them up slightly on their side to help them sleep.
Just remember it is too early to let her cry it out!
You are doing a good job and are a concerned mama or you wouldn't have posted. Keep up the good work! Things will get better!
