7 Month Old "Breast-to-sleep" Association

I hope you have better luck than I did, but both of my kids wouldn't even sleep through the night until I weaned them. If you can handle it, try letting her just scream/cry herself out. You could also try walking around with her, or putting her in the car and driving around for a bit. I don't think it will become harder to break as she gets older. As she starts eating more solid foods and moving around on her own she should find it easier to self-sooth/pacify herself on her own. I wouldn't worry about it too much and just try to enjoy this time with her, it goes by all too quickly.

Hey M...

My son was the same way. He would only go to sleep after nursing, but I slowly started to train him to not fall asleep on the breast. He's now almost 21 months and we are just starting to wean. It has not been easy because he would not take a bottle (whether it was my milk or not made NO difference) no pacifiers. So I have felt like a hostage with my son for a good part of this process, but now we have found that Dad was able to put him down with rocking. It's so relieving. I don't have much to offer other than that sometimes our children don't conform to our way of thinking or schedules. Sometimes they grow out of things when they are ready and there is nothing we can do but "humor" them. You will probably get a lot of "let her cry it out" responses.... for some that works and for others it does not. Crying it out never worked with my son... he would simply cry and cry until he threw up and then I'd have to get him out of the bed anyways to change the sheets and him and bathe him... so I learned to not do that. It might work for your daughter though... who knows! But if you aren't feeling strong enough to let her cry then don't feel like you have to. FOLLOW YOUR INSTINCTS... that's why we have them. I don't tend to go with a lot of what society deems as appropriate for our babies... they don't always know, nor does the pediatrician. We as women were blessed with our instincts ... we just have to listen closely and follow them.

Hi. My firstborn was like this, too. It's a very difficult habit to break but if you don't, you will never get any sleep yourself and that's just damaging to yourself, your family and marriage. Pick a one- to two-week period when you don't have much else going on and you can take daytime naps yourself. Then start training your baby to fall asleep on her own w/o breastfeeding. She will scream like crazy for a long period of time and that was the part that always broke my heart and made me nuts but you are going to have to get through this phase to accomplish your goal. You can try the Ferber method if you don't want to let her cry it out completely on her own (I'm sure you can find details by Googling it). Try breaking the nighttime nursing habit first, then when she is falling asleep peacefully at night work on the daytime napping process. (You could attempt them the other way around, but chances are that if she's awake screaming during daytime naps you are more likely to cave and pick her up to nurse, which will only reinforce the habit and also if the process disrupts her nap schedule it will end up messing up whatever other plans you have for the day.) It takes very strong will on your part but you are right; the longer this continues the harder it will be to break the habit. Some babies learn within a few days, some take several weeks, so resolve that you are going to tough it out no matter what. And once you start training her to sleep on her own DO NOT cave and nurse her to sleep again. The mixed message will have her screaming to nurse even harder than before. Good luck; this is really difficult physically and emotionally; but you will all be happier and better rested when you've accomplished this.

Hi M. :)
My daughter was the exact same way! Except mine never took a bottle so mommy was the only one who could ever put her down. I stopped stressing about it and realized she would NOT do this forever and began enjoying the bonding time. I breast fed her to sleep until I weaned her (18 months) and at that age she was old enough to understand there "was no more milk. all gone." I would read her a book and then slip her into the crib half awake.

Try not to stress!!!

I have similar issues with my 5 month old son. Some advice I've received is to just simply be consistent in your efforts to wean. They tell me it's a battle of the wills and whoever is strongest will win. Personally, I can only stand the crying so long and then I give in. My son cries so hard he has trouble catching his breath! Perhaps if someone else could put our babies to sleep for us & we didnt have to hear their crying - it would work! I've also heard it takes 3 solid days to either build or change a sleep habit. When you try again, try to be committed to at least that time frame - it might make it easier to remind yourself it wont last forever. Best of luck!

yeah. thats normal.

I have 4 children and all of mine did that too until at about 16 months I decided to stop.
I really feel it is easier later. And so much less traumatic for your child. If you are consistent it will take her a week to get used to changes to be they fine. When she is older it becomes less important to be attached all night long because you allowed her to form that bond with you when she was little.

Don't worry about it. Unless you hate nursing her to sleep just enjoy the closeness with your baby!!! It will make your bond stronger and you love bigger! That is so important!

:)

Do you have a problem nursing your baby to sleep, or is it just that you are concerned about creating bad habbits/associations? If it is the latter, I would SERIOUSLY not worry about it. I stressed to no end about this with my son, who is now 9 months (tomorrow)...he would only fall asleep nursing and I was scared to death that I'd never be able to break him of the habbit. Today, he still nurses to sleep, and it is his preferred method, but he can fall asleep without nursing. I see progression day by day, week by week. As he gets older, you can tell that he "needs" to nurse less and less. I'm sure your little one will grow out of the need as well...so, if you're ok nursing to sleep, just go ahead and nurse. The baby will end it when it's time.

Honestly, don't worry about it...I wasted so much time worrying about this instead of enjoying my son. And, in the end, it just works itself out.

Hi M.,
Congratulations for breastfeeding your daughter for 7.5 months - good job. Your baby's sleep pattern sounds normal. I would like to recommend you read this article that just came out today, it is really good. It's titled: "Sleeping With Baby: Breastfeeding, Night Waking & Protection from SIDS". You can click here to read it:

http://drmomma.blogspot.com/2009/10/sleeping-with-baby-br...

Also, there are lots of comments about it on my 'Best Fed Babies' Facebook (please become my friend):

http://www.facebook.com/home.php#/bestfed.babies

M., I would not worry about this - you and your baby will be just fine. You are growing a wonderful human being.

Take care, M.,

~L., RD, IBCLC

Hi M.,

It is completely natural for a baby to need to nurse to sleep. My 14 month old still does unless I am not home then daddy has his own method:) I just want to assure that this is normal and you will have lots of people telling you that the only way is to let her cry-it-out which is something I just couldn't do. To me, I feel that if I can offer my baby the comfort she needs I am not going to deny her; especially since in just a short time she will be pushing me away:) Enjoy this time as best you can and trust that eventually she will find a way to get to sleep without your breast. I mean she is not going to be nursing until she is 15, right!!! This is what i tell myself when it gets frustrating.

Smiles and best of luck,
J.

M.,

I nursed both my kids to sleep until they quit nursing. One at 2 years old and the other at 18 months. Kids are much more flexible and resilient than we give them credit for and they need different things at different ages. If it is working and you are okay with it, I wouldn't worry about it. She'll be an entirely different kid in a few months. Both of my kids are happy, secure and reasonably good sleepers. They can both get themselves to sleep without a problem. I certainly didn't ruin them for life by nursing them to sleep when they were little. LOL

:-)T.

My 13 month old son was the same way, and sometimes still needs the breast to fall asleep. He was sleeping with us (falling asleep while feeding), but our bed was just too small and it wasn't working for us. We didn't want to let him cry it out, so to get him into the crib I had to put him to sleep and then put him in, which almost never worked, but I kept trying the crib while he was awake and newly breastfed, and he finally started going to sleep by himself at about 7 months. Of course, once he started teething again, he ended up nursing in bed again, and I couldn't get him to go to sleep on his own, but then as soon as he turned 1, he was ok and would get himself to sleep at night. All babies are different, but my advice is to keep trying to put her down after feeding her, but awake. Obviously get her if she is upset and screaming, but the little cries are sometimes necessary to get to sleep. Don't worry about doing whatever you have to do to get her down if you need to (meaning feeding her to sleep, you need your sleep too), at some point she will get it and do it. I think when they are ready to do things, they do them. Also, realize that even if you do get her to go to sleep on her own, she will probably have a phase, teething, sickness, growth, that will upset it all and make you have to start all over.

Read healthy sleep habits, happy child for sleep help- what you are describing is a habit- being that she is 7 months old and you are the parent - you are the one who needs to break the habit to change the behavior.....

Hm. My DD nurses to sleep every night. It's great. It's so much easier than having to fool with other methods. I think the whole "sleep association" thing and "they'll never learn to fall asleep on their own" thing is a bit of a load. If you'll notice, the people that are pushing those ideas are mostly book authors who are trying to sell you a "sleep training" method or people who have read a book by one of those authors and bought into the system. Be aware that CIO can lead to a variety of problems. Here's more info on why CIO can be dangerous:
http://drbenkim.com/articles-attachment-parenting.html
http://www.gymealily.org/resources_paperva7.htm
http://www.fresnofamily.com/articles/aa040100a.htm

There's TONS more info backed up by scientific studies out there on this if you're interested.

I know that when DD is ready, she'll fall asleep on her own. I'm not going to force her to do something she's not developmentally ready for. It's not like I'm going have to go with her to college to nurse her down! LOL!

Obviously, you have to do what's right for your family, but nursing to sleep, in the grand scheme of things is really no big deal. This too shall pass. They're only babies for a little while after all.