...............

Frankly, I think there are way bigger things to worry about.

Rude? Perhaps, but I certainly wouldn't be "mad". Ask them if you feel the need to be acknowledged but if you don't want to say anything to them then I think you need to totally let it go.

Etiquette books say they have 1 year to get out their thank you cards. I am one of those bad people that never finished my thank yous and it will always be something in my "shame closet", but I'll live with it. I will say I intentionally made out the cards to those people who I knew would be bristly about not getting a card, so I don't think I angered too many. Anyway, get mad after 1 year.

I took a lot of comfort in the 1 year deadline for thank you notes. We did them in batches (and by we, I mean me). But that first year we were moving, had a toddler, and were in school & working. I got 3-5 hours of sleep a night for over 18 months. If it came down to a choice between a graded paper, or memorizing 100 bone features before the next day... and a stack of thank you notes... the school work came first. I also wanted to actually USE the gift before writing, so that it wasn't just generic-handcramp-thanks-for-________.

I DO have to say... people who left their return address with their gift tended to get theirs sooner. I'm not the most organized person on the planet... and that year was very very chaotic for us (apparently it is for most newlyweds). Not to mention, while I suppose some brides feel the opposite, after a year of planning I didn't want to even THINK much less do anything wedding related for several months. I gushed, I thanked people in person, I phoned... but I was exceedingly grateful for the 1 year tradition. Also... just to be blunt... the grooms' side was taken care of last. Since he didn't lift a finger to help.

They all got out... but we used the "in the first year" rule to it's full benefit.

It is rude, but I don't think you should be mad about it. Did the bride and groom open your gift in front of you? If they did and said thank you at that time, they might not think they owe you a thank you card.

But, if they did not open your gift in front of you, feel free to call them and ask them if they liked it or even received it.

Just ask them "Hey how did you like our wedding present? I haven't heard about it if you liked it?????" (pregnant pause...) and let them respond.

Or they are just rude and not thoughtful enough to even send out perfunctory thank you notes.
Which is a real insult, manners wise.

I would be irked too.
It IS very rude...

Or I would say "Did you send out thank you cards from your wedding yet? I didn't get mine, so I hope you liked our gift????" (pregnant pause, and wait for them to come up with a real 'sincere' answer...)

all the best,
Susan

Don't be mad! If we got mad every time someone was rude to us we'd stay mad. Irked because no one understands etiquette, YES! Somewhere along the line mamas have quit enforcing the right thing to do. Some may still be teaching it, but it is not sticking. I would drop them a line and ask if they received your gift; that you were afraid it got lost in the wedding hubub. I would speak up. If no one else has gotten a note then their entire reputation is at risk. If it were me, I'd want to know and would appreciate someone holding me accountable.

M.

Personally i think it is rude... I am just the opposite, I get everything done immediately.. I'm the other extreme..
My best friend did the same thing.. she's REALLY bad with thank you's, calling people back, etc... When she got married in the Keys at a weekend wedding I don't even know if she sent out thank you cards, no joke.. and she's been married for almost 3 years.. Some people just don't think about etiquette.. There are just those people out there that are just really bad with catching up on things that they should be doing.

It's rude, but just forgive and forget!

Newlyweds are usually kind of flaky and dazed.

It is rude, but anymore people arent taught the importance of courtesy and class. I wouldn't take it personally, I'm sure they appreciate you going out of your way to be there for their big day. I remember after my wedding my head was in such a fog, that I was VERY late on thank yous, and felt awful but it's not intentional. Just take it with a grain of salt.

While I think the 1 year rule is quite widespread and often practiced, my understanding is that it is a myth. http://www.emilypost.com/weddings/etiquette/postings/wedd...

It is quite possible that the couple is of the understanding that they do have a year, and I know all too well how chaotic things can get and things can slip by the wayside. If they're a good friend, I would concentrate on the fact that you were able to spend their day with them and forgive and forget any slight on their part. Rude, yes, but worth making an issue over? Doubtful :).

Hi,

It is rude but I think the idea of thank you notes is becoming a thing of the past. It's crazy, I know! I never get thank you cards anymore and I've grown accustom to it. It is weird not to acknowledge a gift (even if it was simply your presence!) but sadly becoming common. They may also just be procrastinators - sometimes months can fly by...

T. :)

I wish people would respond as soon as possible.. That being said they have one full year to respond.

I wrote my thanks yous as each gift arrived. Even the day of the wedding, a package was delivered I sat down and jotted a note to the gift giver. I just think it is the least you can do when someone takes to the time and money to purchase something for you. Even children need to write RSVP's and write thank you notes.. I t is the right thing to do and in this day and age, it sets them apart.

The general rule of thumb is that the newlyweds have up to a year to send out Thank you notes. I think that is a bit long myself. I have heard that alot of couples are no longer sending out notes but calling/emailing their Thank you's for the trip & wedding gift.

Most likely they are being rude, but there is a slight chance that they might not have received the gift. I know our wedding night was chaos, and we had like 10 people helping us bring the gifts to the car, and they were pretty much just dumped in our apartment, awaiting our return from the honeymoon. Perhaps your gift was lost in transit...one of ours was, but we knew about it since we got the card (detached from the gift) that made a comment about the gift, but never saw the gift.

You might want to call them to make sure that they definitely received it. If so, maybe they'll be a bit shamed into getting out their "Thank You" cards. If not at least you know.

Rude! Thank you notes are NOT becoming a thing of the past! Good manners are becoming a thing of the past. Yes--they technically have a year to do it but I wouldn't want to be "that bride"!

I think and I may be wrong that the rule of having one year to give a wedding gift also applies to getting a thank you, they have a year. Still I would be irked too, 6 months is plenty of time to get it together and since it was a "destination" wedding and so many people had to travel to get there the note should have been in your mailbox a week after their honeymoon. I got married in the Carribean and 60 people flew in from all over the states and Europe. I also asked them not to give gifts as the cost I thought would be ample and I wanted them just to be there. My honeymoon was two weeks and I got those cards out the 2nd week I was home.

Very rude! I'd be mad too. There have been a couple times where we spent a lot for a wedding gift and never received a thank-you note and I can't help but feel differently about the people after that. I'm surprised at the people who responded that it's now big deal and thank-you notes are a thing of the past, I completely disagree. If someone attends your wedding and spends hard-earned money on a wedding gift for you those thank-you notes should be the couple's top priority upon returning from their honeymoon. I did mine the week we got back and put lots of thought into each one, my friends and family deserve it.
I say try and get in touch w/ the mother of the bride or groom or another close friend or relative inquiring about whether or not the couple enjoyed your gift. Good luck!

i would say that while it's rude, try not to be mad.

sounds like you know the groom, and in most cases, it's probably the bride who would do anything about thank you notes. i know from my wedding, if i had not done everything on my own, no thank you notes would have gone out. terrible. but he just does not see the value in the energy, time, cost of doing thank you notes.

and then there's my sister, the most unorganized person, who amazingly WROTE out all the thank you cards, put names on the envelopes, never addressed them, and never mailed them. 5 years ago. it was just more than she could handle. my mom got lots of phone calls ("just checking to see if she actually got my gift...") - very embarrassing for her.

so, if they are anything like my family - try not to be too harsh on them!

I think it's extremely rude. I think 6 months is ample time to send out thank yous. Even if you didn't travel and spend all that money...I would be offended. I almost said maybe your got lost in the mail or they had a gift and weren't sure who it came from...but since others have not received a thank you...my guess is they didn't send anyone one. RUDE.

Technically they have 1 year to send thank yous, although most people would feel terrible waiting that long. Either way, if she never sends you one, I wouldn't say anything. Would you want her to thank you only because you demanded it? Chalk her up as rude and move on.

I could really care less. Just another way for the bride and groom to spend an entire weekend trying to find something nice about the 15th frame they have gotten and thanking you for sharing in on their special day. After that they have to spend 100 dollars more to send out notes that everyone is going to say "how nice" then throw it in the trash receptacle. Do you really get how much effort and money is invested in something that people literally throw out after reading it!

Seems an antiquated tradition to me. And I wouldn't give them any guff for it. I'd think them more intelligent than the populace and having more of a life. lol

I understand you feel ignored, but think of it this way, at least they saved some trees. Yes I am one of those people who prefer not to get cards - a email or a personal "thank you for coming and I loved your gife" is something I would actually prefer.
Try to think of it this way: If you love them dearly and really value their friendship, then you are going to have to let this one go. Friendships are great treasures, don't let a little piece of card stalk come between you.
Smile and be happy,
S.

When we got married last November, I didn't send out the thanks you's until late December. I just didn't have the time to get around to it before then. I actually waited to open the gifts and cards until I knew that I'd have the time to do the whole ball of wax --- I wrote out the thank you as I opened each gift or card. It made my life a little simpler :-) Although, I did have some folks trying to reconcile their check registers that got a wee bit confused --- OOPS!
6 months does seem like an inordinate amount of time. Ask one of their mothers - that'll get 'em moving!! :-)