6.5 Yr Old Puts Fingers in Her Mouth

My daughter is a thumb sucker and said she would stop at 4, then at 5, and she is now 7! I have tried to make her stop several times and then school, work, and life would pick up and we would let things go. At 7 I said she had to stop and realized she does it when she is tired, on the couch watching TV, or before bed.

I ask her to put her socks on and she takes her two little hands and clasps them together (as best possible), then places them on her cheek and cuddles that way. The minute she makes the move to the couch, I tell her to put her socks on. She turned seven on October 19 and I still catch her sucking her thumb from time to time.

BTW, she did get caught sucking her thumb by a little boy at school and that crushed her, but didn't make her stop.

Give her something else to put in her mouth, like a chewy necklace or gum and see if that fulfills her need.

I have a 9 yo daughter who now has a viral infection which has left sores in the back of her throat from doing this too. I'm ready to start making her wear mittens or gloves or something all of the times she's around me b/c it grosses me out. I have told her countless times that she might as well lick everything she touches, like the railings at school then she tells me she washed her hands. She has an answer for it all. Lastnight I really shut her up when I asked her about all of the children at school who don't wash their hands and she touches the things they touch, like the little boy in front of her on the bus who used the same bar she used to hold on to whilie getting off the bus, what if he went to the bathroom and had a little bit of something on his hands & didn't wash them....where do you think that just went. I know it's gross, but she has to start to understand. I can remember this one boy in elementary school who used to fidget w/his hands so much my one teacher would make him sit on his hands sometimes! All of this may sound cruel, but it's no worse then what they are going to end up with if they don't stop. Well, best of luck to you. I have to start knitting some mittens!

Instead of "telling her to stop it", have you ask your daughter WHY she puts her fingers in her mouth? You can't be with her 24/7 and even if you could, this is not a matter of what YOU want. This is a habit (could be a nervous habit), so you need to "gently" help her to understand what she's doing and help her to break the habit. Many adults still chew on their nails and I believe it is because there parents tried to shame them into "stopping" instead of getting to the bottom of why the did it in the first place.

I'd ask the teacher if she or he has noticed whether your daughter does this during the school day. The teacher won't catch it al lthe time, of course, so it's not a perfect indication, but it sounds possible that this is a bedtime "routine" for her rather than an all-day thing. You're right, it does sound like self-soothing -- same as thumb-sucking for a baby. It also may be related to the lost teeth -- she liked feeling around in the gaps with her fingers and has just started leaving her fingers in her mouth.

It's hard to control what happens at school other than finding ways to talk to her about the results and hoping she understands. Possibly the school counselor can talk to you (not your child, you) and give you some ideas on things to say that could be effective.

For bedtime, of course you can't revert to a pacifier but you could ask the pediatrician and especially the dentist if it would be harmful to give her something safe to chew on at bedtime. There are blankets with attached "chewies" that are actually designed for little kids but she might be OK with that.

It's possible that she's an oral kid. If she continues with this habit especially at school -- and if you find that she wants to suck her fingers or wants to snack all day long at school -- I'd have her evaluated by an occupational therapist who specializes in elementary-aged children. Some kids have a hard-wired need to chew or suck in order to focus their brains; my friend's son is like this and has special arrangements at school to use therapist-approved "chewies" that are safe. He focuses much better and works better and longer when he has these. Not saying this is going to be your child's issue, just that if this habit becomes a constant daytime thing, you might want to look into OT evaluation sooner rather than later. Otherwise, it's a bedtime soothing thing that she needs right now.