Recently my 6 year old has been asking for a dog. She really loves playing with the neighbor's dogs. I just can't handle any more stuff to do right now. How do I did her to undestand that mommy is very busy and can't take on any more projects?
Tell her when she is older, and Mom &
Dad can buy one, not now. She needs to become more responsable for the things that she has and learn how to take care of a dog in the mean time.
We all want to be honest with our children, right? So, I'd suggest:
Telling her that you understand how much she wants a dog, and right now is not the right time. Let her know your concerns, and then say that the two of you can speak about it again in a few months.
Key points: You want to validate her feelings, while also being honest about what you want/need at this time.
If she protests, saying she'll take care of it and "promises" to take care of it, thank her while acknowledging how much time she is away at school (and any after school activities she does?). End on a positive note, along the lines of: We'll talk about this again. I promise. Right now Mommy is very busy, very tired and just can't give all of the attention to a dog that he/she would need. Yes, she will be disappointed, but then that, too is a part of life at times, and she will get over it (and so will you : 0 ).
Further suggestion: Maybe the neighbor would let their dog have a "sleepover" at your house.
Stay firm, knowing that you are doing what's best for everyone involved.
Best wishes,
A. R.
I know that most of your advice has been on letting your daughter down easy about not getting a dog but here's a thought in case you reconsider when your babies get a little bit older.
My daughter will be turning 6 and we decided to get her a dog a year ago. It was the best decision we could have made for her. This dog follows her around, sleeps with her, and has become her playmate when I am too busy to spend one-on-one time with her. They are so sweet together and I don't feel guilty anymore when I need to take care of other things. You can get an older dog that is already housebroken so you don't have to deal with the puppy issues like time and training. Other than food and water, he is quite easy to take care of. Just a thought! Good luck!
I wish I had really great advice for you..but i dont, I have a story. I have a son who is 7, he'd been asking for a dog for a year. I finally gave in when a stray puppy wandered into our yard, about 8 weeks ago. I told him he would have to care for the dog because I couldnt(I have almost as much on my plate as you) accept any more responsibilities. Everything was fine the 1st week. Now, I want to throw the dog out. first, she's a mini pinscher, HARD to house train (they say it takes almost 2 years for the dog to really "get it") and second, I dont believe we (our family) has the time to devote to all the time a puppy needs. I wish i knew things were going to be so rough, I would've thought things through a little more. So my advice, share the neighbors dog!!! Or do your research on inside vs outside dogs; breeds that are easily trained; and prepare your daughter for the responsibility through books and video. OR maybe you can talk her into a fish. Good luck
Tell her that a puppy would be very lonely and unhappy at your house, because the kids are at school all day and mommy wants to go back to work. Tell her that it wouldn't be fair to the puppy to leave him alone all day like that with nobody to play with. Also, how would the puppy get outside if he needed to go peepee?
If all else fails, just tell her NO! You are the mommy!! It's your house! And your rules! When she is an adult and has her own house, she can get all the puppies she wants.
Good luck!
I told my boys I have had enough hard time housebreaking them, let alone a critter with 4 legs!
I'm with you! I have 3 boys and they all talk about wanting a dog- NO WAY am I taking care of one more thing....lucky for us we have grandma and grampas with dogs and neighbors and friends.,... it's just too much- if you don't want one- just tell her it's too muchto take care of right now...
I am a dog trainer that specializes in family dogs. One of the most difficult parts of "my child wants a dog" is getting families to realize what you already realize. The responsibility will fall mostly on you. So I have a couple of ideas for you. Come up with a list of responsibilities that the kid(s) and husband can take over that would free up time for you (of course, they will offer to "take care of the dog"... that's not the point. What can they do now that starts to alleviate some of your load. Once they have shown that they can do it (say, 6 months) then begin to consider breeds and find an ADULT dog - preference to a retired male, neutered show dog to be a part of your home. It's much, much less work than a puppy. For more help you can check out www.livingwithkidsanddogs.com or my website at www.sithappens.us. I'd love to help.
Have you thought about suggesting to her a fish(if you dont have one already)? That's pretty easy to manage and its considered a pet.
Oh, gosh. I so understand what you mean. I went through a period after my twins were born where I did not want to care for another living thing! I feel guilty, but I was actually relieved when the dog died. We went through a period of 2 years where we were petless. I SO could not deal with a puppy--one more mess maker! And yes, my older child yearned for another pet. I told her that I could not care for anything else. I just couldn't do it and it did not fit our lifestyle. When my daughter turned 9, she still begged for a pet. I told her that she needed to be totally responsible and take care of the pet, and I agreed to hamsters. She did well with them and was happy with that for a while. Last fall when I was ready, we got 2 cats. This is what I wanted and she loves them dearly and isn't so stuck on the dog thing.
Ultimately, you as the parent have to decide if and what pets you will allow. Don't get a dog or any other pet if you cannot handle it. They can require a lot of care and attention and you need to be ready for it. I settled on cats, because they are easier to care for and it's what I wanted. My daughter adjusted. By the way, I do recommend adopting an adult pet for less stress. Skipping puppyhood or kittenhood can be a good thing! You don't want to be potty training your twins AND a puppy!
Good luck!
Give her a stuffed dog first. Have her take it outside for "walks" at certain times (be sure it's late as she stays up also), along with unexpected "walks". She has to "act" like she's feeding it food and water also. If she does this for 2 weeks, she'll get tired of it. Tell her when she's 11 years old she'll have more responsibility with each year and school work takes a lot of time.
My son also wanted a dog when he was 6. We told him he had to wait until he turned 9 and was more responsible to do things like take him for a walk, etc. He did wait, and we kept our promise.
you are right to be concerned as a dog is a big responsibility and at 6, she just knows she likes to play with them. Maybe you could try a lower maintenance pet to start with and explain to your daughter that a dog may be possible when she is a bit older but first she has to learn about the responsibility of owning a pet, with maybe a small fish bowl/tank, a hamster or a turtle?
