6 Year Old Thinks She Is Fat, HELP!!!!!

That's so sad that the kids are being so mean! My heart breaks for your little girl.

First of all, you should not worry if your 6-year old has a belly. My 8-soon-to-be-9 year-old has a belly and has had one since she was a baby. It just never went away. We've been assured that it's perfectly normal and will go away as she grows taller.

I agree that you should not focus on food with gaining weight, but focus on health. At age 6 she can learn about the food groups and the food pyramid (get a book out of the library) and you can discuss how EVERYONE needs to eat healthy. Don't bring up weight at all. Then she can help everyone eat healthy. With health comes exercise, perhaps you can enroll her in some kind of healthy activity like soccer or swimming.

As for something being wrong, definitely seek another opinion from a kinder doctor! Perhaps there is something wrong with her thyroid. Or maybe she just burns a lot of calories! A second opinion would put your mind at ease.

Kids will make fun of kids, and they'll pick out whatever sticks out. If you're skinny they'll call you "stick" and "beanpole." If you're ethnic they make ethnic remarks. If you have red hair they'll make fun of that. Just let your daughter know that it's not true if she doesn't believe it. It's a good lesson to learn to have thick skin and to recognize that NO ONE has the right to determine who YOU are. Only you get to do that!

If she is a little chubby, don't outright tell her she isn't because she'll know it for a lie. Just like you wouldn't tell a redhead that her hair isn't red! Just focus on how kids are being mean, they have no right to treat her that way, and coach her on what to say in return. Also let her know that she is who she is, and she can't change that. But she can change who she is on the inside :)

Good luck!

this is why all parents should never talk about weight, their weight, their kids' weight (FAT or SKINNY) to their children. This will at least help other children to not fall victim such stupid comments.....or just be exposed/hear such remarks that other kids learned from home or from what they're allowed to see in the media.. This can be harmful for a perfectly happy child to suddenly get a complex because she heard such comments about another kid (it doesn't have to happen directly to her).

I'm sorry that this happened to your daughter. And AT THIS AGE..I blame those parents who speak of such nonsense around their children and let them watch shows that emphasize such things. I hold the parents of these little girls who called your daughter fat fully responsible (they are reckless people) who do not watch over their children and teach them right from wrong. Teasing another child would be the end of it for my daughter. I do not tolerate bullying! A 6 year old SHOULD know that bullying is hurtful and wrong. And if they're doing it. Something is not being taught in the home!

i never use the word FAT or SKINNY to my daughter. NEVER. I consider them bad words - there's just no way around it. If I think my daughter is eating too much, I just say, "you've had so much food, you're stomach might hurt later.". As parents, we do have to monitor our children's food intake..(what they eat and how much), that's a given.

But be careful how we talk about it. Lets stop with all this glorifying of the "perfect" body. It's STUPID.

Focus on health and let her know she is OK. Open those lines of communication to no topic off base (no matter how uncomfy) and TALK.

I have a 15 yr old. She eats like crazy and she is 5'5" 112 and thinks she is fat. There is no fat on her body. She is a cheerleader and she works out 1-2 hours a day, not counting the private coaching lessons weekly. ......OF COURSE she is hungry.

In our case, it does not help that I am 5'5" and about 116#. and in shape as well. My daughter has a "mom" image in her head that I should fit in which I clearly do not.

Luckily, I have always had a healthy eater. Give her a choice of candy bar or fruit and she'll take fruit anyday. One thing our pedi did was to have a very direct talk with my daughter. I was in the room, I kept my mouth shut. My daughter loves her pedi....and believes in her so at the roughest times, I will schedule a pedi visit just so the Dr. can chat. IT HELPS.

We started with a great pedi and the pedi's daughter is a pedi and we now go to daughter because she is in her 20's, great Dr., and can relate to my daughter. It has worked wonders.

Try to point out all the GOOD things she is doing and YOU ARE SO CORRECT to point out that everyone grows at different rates.

Hang in there mom..... the conflicts grow as the children grow. My personal advice is to keep your lines of communication wide open and talk about anything and everything so your daughter will come to you for those much needed sessions of "talk".

Good luck

Give your baby girl a hug for me. My 9y old boy is going through the same thing. They are at the age where they are noticing the many differences in the world and how to voice that they don't like what is different from them. (If it weren't for the dr....) who's to say that your girl is chubby and that the other girls aren't too thin?

If she is hungry all the time, it could be her diet. If she is always snacking on sandwiches, crackers, and pretzels, it could be that she on carbohydrates overload. Carbs are sugar and when you eat a lot of them you constantly crave more. So see if you can find her some snacks that have fewer carbs. - cheese sticks, celery / peanut butter, carrots, apples.
Fruits have natural carbs so you have to be careful of that.

As for he saying that she's on a diet or fat, approach it from a different point of view. If you cut back on the carbs, it will increase her metabolism, she won't be hungry all the time, and the belly that she doesn't like will start to go away. Make it a positive thing.

Good luck
M.

This is a hard situation , reassure her that no she is not fat , but you feel as a family you need to eat a little more of the healthy choices , you could say that not only do we need to make sure our bodies are given good foods but also teeth need to be looked after. I also agree with your mom and that the Dr should have talked about this with your daughter out of eat shot.

My daughter is 7... and at school there are a few girls that talk about their looks and how they 'have to lose weight' sort of comments and that "so and so is chubby...' etc. Talk like this starts early.
But, my daughter in Kindergarten, had a Teacher that would talk to them about differences in people... and that we are ALL the same on the inside... and that it is plain 'mean' and 'rude' to call someone 'fat.' That "plump" is more polite etc... but that commenting on a persons 'size' is rude... because they may have health problems and we don't know that.

So... my daughter looks at people and their 'size' with an open mind... she knows it is mean. And rude. And at home we have always emphasized these concepts as well.

Appearance and 'size'... is not the focus. If my daughter notices that someone is 'plump' I merely say that I think they are a super nice person... and they look happy. ie: 'look at what a beautiful smile she has..." or "look how helpful and caring she is with the children.... I wish I was like that...' sort of things.

Maybe your daughter is truly hungry... or as the others said, maybe she has a health/medical concern. Or maybe she eats out of emotion... not her body's cues. There is a big difference.

all the best,
Susan

First off, you need to have the doctor check and see if she has an eating disorder. My MIL used to take in foster kids, and she had one that was diagnosed with a food disease.........she was hungry 24/7 and it is an eating disorder. I can't remember the name, and I didn't know it even existed until little Katy had it..............They have to learn how to control it.........

If they test her and she is fine, then maybe you can make sure she eats good and gets more exercise. Maybe get a trampoline for her to jump on, either a small one or a big one for the back yard. You and her go for walks, go to the park, anything to keep her more active.........

My guess is that she will out grow it, but I know kids are really bad......I have 4 granddaughters and they are all the time talking about it.....one is 16 and she is like a size 2........she is almost too skinny...........

Is there someone on either side of the family that is big? My daughter was short and a little stocky, and she was all the time upset, but her family on one side was German, big boned, German.....so I told her she was stuck with it........that seemed to help her a bit...........

Hang in there and good luck....take care.

Maybe her constant hunger is a health issue. I'd make an appointment with a different doctor of course since the other one likes to insult little girls. Maybe just voice your concern a little and see if they can do some tests to make sure everything is ok. Good luck, and tell your little girl she isn't fat and she is beautiful. :) Even though I don't know what she looks like I am sure she is very beautiful. Good luck.

I can totally relate with your daughter. I was always an overweight child. She is only six years old and is still retaining a lot of her weight. When I was your daughter's age, children were not as weight conceince then as they are now, especially at six. The best advice I can give you is to follow your mother's advice. Don't be so concerned about what she eats unless she is totally inactive. If she is active and always running and playing then, by puberty, she will no longer be a chubby little girl and tell her that there is nothing with a girl having curves.

If the children in her play group continue to call her names, talk to their parents. There is no excuse for children to act like that with each other.

I was always chubby as a child and as an adult. Both of my girls are chubby. I always try to avoid words like "weight" or "heavy". I focus on healthy.

I tell them "I want you to be healthy that's why it's important to make good food choices and exercise". I try to limit the amount of snacks in the house. I try not to let them see my bad eating habits. If I see them going for crackers, I'll remind them "there are strawberries in the fridge".

And yes, when a child grows thru a growth spurt, watch out they can eat and eat and eat. Some children also need to eat more frequently and will eat 6 small meals a day, rather than 3. At the end of the day, they've still eaten the same amount, just spread it out. Rather than having her go looking thru the cabinets, offer to make her a healthier lower calorie snack.

Good luck. It's a difficult situation, and I feel for both you and your daughter, because I've been there. Things will get better.

This breaks my heart. I think the problem first started with the doctor's visit. I think the doctor should have stressed that no way was your daughter overweight, that he/she just wants her to be as healthy as possible. This would have given you another mindset and your daughter would not have started feeding off your anxiety. It's a beautiful world and it's also a cruel world. The best you can do now is arm your daughter with self-esteem and assure her that she is beautiful as she is. There are so many body types and it seems like everyone is trying to fit into one mold. Let her eat...she is probably HUNGRY because he metabolism is HIGH, but her body type is not skinny. I wish you the best of luck. Give your girl a hug for me and tell her she is BEEYOOTEEFULL!

It is very sad that our media can do this to us. Kids are mean and sometimes do not realize how cruel they sound!! The doctor should have never even mentioned this in front of her. The doctor is being as cruel as the kids. I can remember when my daughter was 6 she went through the same thing. Even when she was a baby she was off the diagnostic chart. She came home from kindergarten crying because the kids called her fat and I just asked her why she was letting others control how she feels. I told her that everyone is different and it is sad because some people want to make other people as sad as they are by saying mean things. I reminded her that she was a very beautiful girl on the inside and out and sometimes that scares the others. I knew she would grow into all of her little baby fat and she did. She is quite a bit taller then I am and she is very talented in so many ways. Once your daughter learns to look inside herself she will excel in so many ways. My daughter is so fun to be around because she loves herself. A couple of years back I got a free 3 month pass to the gym where I go. My daughter went there the entire summer with me and ate healthy. She lost about 15 pounds but then when she quit going to the gym and back to school she gained it back. Maybe you can enroll your daughter in a sports class like dancing, soccer, etc. That will help build self-esteem also. Even after my daughter lost all the weight her body style did not change. People are who they are and when they are growing they tend to chub out and then grow tall. Use the word healthy when referring to snacks. Teach her what good health and exercise can do for a person. Get the entire family into eating healthy and let everyone benefit. Good luck and I do know how your heart breaks as a mom.

You want to focus on HEALTH, not weight. If she eats appropriately for her age and nutritional needs, she will be fine. Keep in mind that although children can eat (and need to eat) a bit more fat than adults, she does not need to be eating saturated fats (i.e. animal-based fats such as dairy and meats), you should be conscious of her sodium intake, and she needs to get regular exercise. I would emphasize the health aspect to her - when she asks if she is fat, say, "No, you're not fat. But we all need to eat food that is healthy for us. For snack you can have an apple because it's high in fiber, but no more crackers because they have too much salt." If she asks why salt is bad or why fiber is good, you can explain.

My daughter is 7, and she is always hungry too. They grow so fast at this age that I think it's somewhat normal. However, I limit their snacking so they're not "grazing" all day. I don't think it's particularly healthy for kids to learn that they need to eat constantly. They won't starve if they eat 3 balanced meals plus 2 snacks in a day. Just remember, if you can try and include a healthy carb, a lean protein and a small amount of fat in each meal/snack, she will feel full longer. Explain why you're giving her these combinations of food - i.e. nuts are a great source of healthy fats, carrots have vitamin A and lots of fiber, broccoli has calcium. This way the focus is not on calories but on a healthy body and the fuel it needs.

And, you can never go wrong signing her up for sports of some kind. Get her exercising every day. It's a habit that will keep her healthy and fit her whole life, and will help her feel confident about her body.

This question really hits home for me. I remember being your daughter's age and feeling the same way about my body. It also makes me feel sad for my incredible mother because I know that she really struggled with this issue on my behalf. I was always just a little chubby as a kid and given that I come from an extended family of very thin people, I think I stood out...especially next to my mom who is tall, thin and beautiful. I think she really debated if she should help me to become healthier or if she should send the message that I was beautiful the way I was. In the end, no matter how hard she tried and no matter how good her intentions were, she ended up sending me mixed messages about it. I knew in my head that she loved me more than anything in the world and that she wouldn't care if I too had 10 heads...but way down in the irrational part of my being, I always felt that she would love me a little more if I was skinny like her. Mother-daughter relationships are tough and this is a tough subject.

To me, it sounds like your daughter may be picking up on some of your discomfort as well. Kids are so perceptive and if she's not already noticing you watching how much she eats, she soon will. My mom and I have a very close, very supportive relationship but this subject has been a thorn in both of our sides. So much to the point that we can't really talk about it to this day. It's way too raw. It's also something that I gave a lot of thought to as I embarked on my motherhood journey. What would I have done different?

Here is my advice from a daughter's point of view. No matter how hard you try to arm your daughter with self-esteem, this is something you are going to have to address head on. So I would recommend you start now by talking about portion control. Teach her what a portion is. I'm definitely not saying starve the poor, growing kid, but arm her with some knowledge. Cheez itz and gold fish are ok snacks but they have to be in moderation. Help her figure out what that moderation is and help her make the choice of fruit or veggies if she is still hungry. The knowledge that you give her now could save her years, and years and years of struggle trying to figure it out.

My second piece of advice is to make physical activity a MANDATORY, family event. I was never terribly interested in sports as a kid and thus my parents never required my participation in those types of activities. In retrospect, I really don't think they should have given me a choice. There are so many different activities out there, there is bound to be one that she loves. Again, teaching her now to be active will save her so much trouble in the long-run.

Good luck with this tough issue!