6 Year Old Sleeping in His Own Room

I think you may want to consider that it may be more than just normal 6 year old fears that you son is experiencing. HE may not be able to express why he needs to be in a room with you, or he may be embarressed. It may not make sense to you, but you may consider having him talk to a therapist if the problem persists. I have experience with children that have what seem to us irrational fears, but have much deeper roots.

He may just be a normal little boy that doesn't like his room, but it may more.

At six he can talk to a counselor-not school go private for children-they are out there and this can helphim get over his fears. Do this now for his well-being and yours. they may suggest the whole family go together or in steps so everyone can get heathly on this subject. Good luck and don't wait it really is what he needs-if there is a financial problem-ask if any of the counselors have payment plans or financial help. It is out there and I can't recommend this any stronger for all of you. Go for it!

I hate to say it but it sounds like this was caused by an event that he finds very traumatic and I would suggest possibly getting him to see some sort of counselor. He's old enough to know what death is and the fact that you guys helped get your neighbors out of a fire he probably realized that you could have been injured or killed in your efforts to save the people trapped in that fire ( I'm going on the assumption that the fire was not cause the house to fall on your heads and you went in personally to retrieve them). He is thinking about your mortality and how it will affect him. If you don't want to go the route of a counsellor, My next idea is the whole 'tough love' thing. Just make him go to bed in his own room but check on him when he starts getting upset so he knows you're still there and aren't going to leave him. If he sneaks out of his room trying to get into yours, don't even let him through the door. Take him back to his room and stay with him until he calms down. It's going to seem like you're being really mean to him but if you don't cave in to him and follow through, after a few sleepless nights he will learn to put himself back to sleep in his own room on his own or else he's just going to keep coming into your room in the middle of the night. One thing I just thought of that a friend of mine tried with his niece once because she was afraid of the dark. He took a nap with her in the dark and he stayed awake while she fell asleep and snuck out of the room ( just for a couple of hrs) she woke up alone and stormed into the kitchen yelling @ him "why did I wake up alone! where did you go?!" Then he asked her if anything bad happened while he was gone and she said no. He asked if she slept ok while he was gone and she said she did. He then asked what the big deal was about her sleeping alone in the dark all night if she could do it for a nap. so they tried it and it worked. I remember him saying that when this happened she was about the age of your son. It's definitely the least invasive idea I put out there for you I just hope you get the advice you need cuz if he's doing this @ 6 he probably won't stop for another couple of years. If he doesn't deal well with you being out of his sight @ home how is he going to deal with you guys going to Hawii?

I think the Denise has the right idea here about a nighttime routine to get him comfortable in his own room. I think that introducing him to fire saftey (if you haven't already) is a great idea. My daughter has fire drills in preschool and talks about how to stop drop and roll, and it has made her confident. Show him what to do if there is a fire. Show him more than one place to leave the house, and have a family meeting place outside. Then have a few family fire drills. Assure him that just as you helped your neighbors, he is number on on the list to get out of the house. If it really is a fear from the fire (and not just wanting to sleep with you now) you should assure him that the safest place for him to be at night is in his bed, that way you know exactly where he is, and can get to him quickly.

Hi C.,
Wow, you're really going through it! I don't know about how your faith is, but it helped my son to pray with him before bed and help him realize that God knows where he's at and see's him all the time even when I can't. That super nanny gal has worked with some of these kids who are in the parents room at night, and it does take a few horrible nights (maybe you can take a little time off), but he needs to gain the confidence that you're not always going to be there. Maybe if he has a "milestone" age coming up, like 6 1/2 for instance, you can let him know that "when you're older, you'll sleep in your own bed, and offer great rewards for small accomplishments. I'd also wonder if he's had some sort of bad episode happen in the dark, that would put fear in him. Also, no scary movies...those things are horrible for getting the little ones scared! I hope I've helped. Best wishes to you (for your marrige's sake!)

Hi, C.. I wish I had an easy answer to this, and if you find one, let me know. Our son, who is 8, has the same problem. He sleeps on the chair or the floor in our room after he wakes up. Our room is downstairs on the main level, and he is also insecure about being away from us at night. He will go to sleep in his room, but more often than not, will be in our room when we wake up in the morning. Our son did not have any traumatic event in the night that caused him to act this way, but since yours did, it is obvious he needs that reassurance that he is safe. Have you tried using a monitor in his room? Or walkie talkies so he can talk to you if he is scared? I know how frustrating it can be. Have you been doing fire drills in your home, so he knows what to do if there is a fire. Knowlege is power, I believe. Rewards might work, too, if there is something that might motivate him. Good Luck and God Bless.

First I would address his fears. If it is the fire, have a fire drill and reassure him that you will always keep him safe. Then start off slow. My son had the same problem after our house got stuck by lightning. I stayed in his room with him until he fell asleep, after awhile I started leaving when he is almost asleep and telling him I would be back every so often to check on him. After a while I would stay long enough to read a story then tell him I'm going to take a bath and would be back in to check on him when I'm done, then stay in the bath long enough for him to fall asleep. For nights when he woke and came into my room I would walk him back into his room and stay til he fell back to sleep.

Most important is not to belittle his fears. Just make sure he knows you are always there and will keep him safe. Oh and if his fear is "monsters" Monster spray (scented water in a spray bottle) works great.