Hi mamas,
My little guy has never been a great sleeper. We co-slept out of necessity for a while, he nursed till he was 2.5. He's a generally happy kid. He's very high functioning autism, which is probably a contributing factor. He has pretty much always woken up at least once a night, and since he can walk he walks to me, usually around 2am. I walk him back to bed and will put him in and go back to my room, or I'll lie down next to him if he is awake enough to ask me to. Sometimes I'll fall asleep, and sometimes I can get back to my own bed. He somewhat regularly wakes up twice - maybe at 11 and then 2am. And last night was 3 or 4 times (he had gas pains before bedtime, not sure if that was a factor).
ADD 2: I work full time - wake before 7 to get DS ready for school and me for work. But yes, I'm the main caretaker.
My husband is concerned - possibly a combination of concern for my lack of sleep, and our son's. Hubby isn't a great sleeper - he's a night owl now and sometimes has trouble sleeping. I wonder if some of his upsetness about this is coming from that. After the 3rd time son woke up - probably around 3am, hubby says to me as I'm waking up cause son is in the room - "we have to do something about his waking up, it has to stop." I was a bit annoyed that he's bringing it up to me in the middle of the morning (he was still awake) - not the most intelligent time (Duh).
I have tried lycra sheets as an alternate to a weighted blanket - too constricting. Tried putting a folded sheet on him for weight. He didn't like it. Tried melatonin (pedi said ok) - he feel asleep but didn't STAY asleep, which is the issue. My sis sewed me a weighted blanket and it'll be arriving this weekend (hopefully), so I'm going to try that probably after he falls asleep so he doesn't decide he doesn't like it before we try it.
I'm going to ask his OT for suggestions as well. Does anyone have any ideas to help with this? He's big enough to walk to me. He isn't all the way awake that I can tell because he can climb into bed and just crash right back asleep. I don't know if you can "train" someone to just roll back over and go back to sleep. I haven't had more than a week of full nights of sleep in 6+ years so any help is appreciated.
ADD: If he does sneak into our king bed, he is stuck to me like velcro. Hubby let him in last night and DS was in the middle. Son was right up against me. I couldn't sleep and couldn't wake son, so I went and slept in DS's bed. He stayed asleep for the rest of the night and when I went to wake him up for school, he was up against dad, with a HUGE amount of space to one side (LOL) and dad and son on just 1/2 of the bed.
Keep the ideas coming, thanks!
Hubby was working out of town for a large chunk of the year, so I'm DS's "go-to" person. I need to train both of them. I hate to be the "boss", but it looks like I'm going to have to push some different role responsibilities here.
Our 6 year old comes in and crawls in bed with us every night. We just move over a bit and go back to sleep if we even wake up.
Tell hubby that if he's still awake then he needs to put kiddo back to bed so you can sleep. You have him all day the next day and need your rest. He needs to take care of his child too.
My daughter (now 7) and son (now 6) did this for a while. I have blankets and a pillow set up next to my bed, so if they woke up during the night, they just slept next to our bed. My husband, also a night owl, was never thrilled about them coming into our rooms.
On a recent trip to visit relatives, my daughter did not sleep well. I gave her Benadryll (she can handle it but brother can't) for a week to reset her and it worked very well.
Other things that seem to be working for us. Protein snack before bed time. If they want cereal, I slip ground up sunflower seeds in the cereal before pouring the milk. Protein keeps the blood sugar from falling during the night. When the blood sugar falls, a child can wake up througout the night. Magnesium and calcium in foods or supplements help a child relax and sleep.
If his stomach is hurting, then it could mean that he's constipated or is allergic to something he ate.
If you need any more suggestions, let me know. I lost a lot of sleep when the kids were younger, so I researched all this so I could achieve sleep. However, I do tend to think holistically to a certain extent, so just keep that in mind. I prefer vitamin C over allergy meds.
Seems like it's just a habit and will eventually stop as long as you just walk him back to bed. If you let him get in your bed sometimes, and then other times you get in his bed, the habit is going to continue. Just walk him back, tuck him in and go back to your own bed.
I don't understand why, if your hubby is a night owl, he doesn't put DS back to bed and let you sleep. You said hubby was still awake when your son came in at 3:00 a.m. Hubby should have taken him back to bed. In fact, if hubby does start taking him back to bed, it may break the cycle.
Tell hubby to step up!
Can you and your son make a little "bed" on the floor next to your bed with pillows and blankets, "in case he wakes up and can't get back to sleep"? Tell him you need to get a good night's rest and ask him if he wakes up and can't get back to sleep, to quietly come and lay down there? Will that still wake up your husband?
My daughter often goes through spells where she'll wake up in the middle of the night and come in. This has saved me some sleep disruption. It'll happen every night for a few weeks, and then stop for awhile again.
My 7 year old still does this nearly every night. The only way she stays asleep in her own bed is if we wear her out. Sometimes that doesn't work.
We have a king sized bed and she just crawls in bed with us. If I wake up I tell her to go back to her own bed, but most often I don't notice until the morning. She has learned to be stealth.
I would love for her to stay in her own bed, but I haven't found the trick yet.
No autism here, so I don't think that is a factor.
Hey, I'm sorry to hear about this problem, it must be difficult. I don't really have any advice, but my friend has a son with Aspergers, and he also (now 13) never slept well. It takes him a long time to unwind. Now that your son is six, do you think maybe you could tell him its okay to turn on a dim light and amuse himself if he wakes up? My thinking is that given the autism and maybe a genetic problem with sleep inherited from dad, your son might always have problems sleeping, but soon he will be old enough to learn strategies to deal with it that don't involve waking you up.
My kids used to climb in. Sometimes we never knew they were there. They eventually stayed in their own bed. Too crowded lol. Put an air mattress next to your bed. Let him sleep there. So not worth making everyone crazy during the night. Choose your battles.
