6 Month Old Breastfed Baby Will Not Sleep!

A., before you decide to follow the CIO advice from others, please read this article:
http://www.mothering.com/articles/new_baby/bonding/connec...

Ultimately, you have to follow your own instincts and heart and do what is best for your family. We cosleep, and even though I am a light sleeper, I find it easy to nurse my DD back to sleep, even though she wakes every 1 to 3 hours at 14 months of age. As long as I go to bed early (9 am) I feel rested for the day (I am a SAHM though). Some nights are tough (when teething, etc.) but I keep in mind that this too shall pass and soon she won't want anything to do with me and I'll treasure these moments when she was a baby.

Babies should not want to be alone; otherwise how would we have survived as a species? But it can be hard on the mother in this modern age. I find cosleeping and attachment parenting gives me the tools to gently respond to my DD's needs.

However, cosleeping does not work for everyone. Jamie V gave you good websites about attachment parenting and sleep. I espy like Kathy Dettwyler's explanation of infant sleep. You can also read Pantley's "The No-Cry Sleep Solution"...others have found her gentle, responsive methods helpful.

I firmly believe that a baby should never be forced to cry alone (unless the caregiver needs to step out of the room for a quick sanity break).

HTH, M.

Hi A.,
I guess this is pretty confusing, but you have my vote for NOT making your daughter "cry it out" but taking her into your bed (doing the co-sleep thing). Lots of people say it's starting a bad habit but I've never been given any proof that it is so, whereas I have heard of quite a bit of research that indicates "cry it out" approaches can be harmful. The starting solid food myth tends to go hand in hand with cry it out theories. Research indicates that starting solids makes no difference, or even makes the situation worse, since sometimes having to deal with digesting this new stuff can give babies tummy pain. Babies over six months generally aren't waking because they're hungry, but because we ALL wake, and they are crying because they need comfort. Sucking on the breast is usually number 1 best comforter for breastfed babies. That's really tough on us, but it isn't our poor babies' fault! I co-sleep and it helps me get a good night's sleep most nights, in spite of frequent wakings (I nurse our son back to sleep lying beside him, which means I can sleep even while being a pacifier). My son was sleeping at least 5 hours a night for several months, but it all ended when he started teething, and he's been constantly teething since (he's one, now).
I'm sorry if this has confused you further, but I'm another firm believer in attachment parenting and I guess this is a forum for opinions as well as advice!

Oh A., I so feel your pain! I am a 31 year old mommy of a 5.5 month old son who has no desire to sleep longer than 3 hours at a time, all day and night! I am absolutely exhausted. :( I also have a 4-year-old who demands much of my time and attention. I also work part time from home, so I know just how exhausted you must feel. The only thing getting me through this rough time is that I know it will pass. My older son was a great sleeper, but every kid goes through various stages of development, and they all pass. So, just hang in there. This is such a short time in the scheme of things, and it'll go by so quickly! Take care, M.

My children did this and I found that they reacted to milk and dairy that I ate. I had to keep a dairy-free diet while breast feeding or they would be up most of the night crying... My kids have food allergies so my thinking is that she may be sensitive to the food, even if she isn't allergic. You can figure this out by taking foods out of her diet (or your diet) for about 4 days and see if you notice a difference... Good luck!

Both of my children did this and we resorted to co-sleeping. My husband and I have our own business and we were always so exhausted that we found this to be our only solution to get a good nights sleep. There are so many pros and cons to co-sleeping, so do your research before making a decision, but we found that co-sleeping strengthened the bond between all of us and it gave us many nights of sleep:) When our children needed to breastfeed, I just rolled over, fed them and went back to sleep.

If she is eating cereal right before bed, I would get up and nurse her at the 2am, and then let her cry the rest of the time. My experience is my daughter would not get into the sleeping routine if I kept going in there. Especially since you are a working momma. If you feed her at 2 and change her diaper then she is fine and will get use to you not coming in and she will start sleeping after about 2 or 3 nights. If you go in though you have to start back at square one because then she thinks you will come. Good luck, I know alot of people don't agree with the crying it out method, but I know it works. :)

K.

I am absolutely a believer in letting them "cry it out." I did it with my first when she was 8 months old and the first night she cried for an hour, the second night 10 minutes, and the third night 1 minute. After that, no more tears. My second was the same, although I let her "cry it out" at 6 months. I was just like you with both girls. Exhausted, frustrated and confused. I know it's tough to listen to them cry for that long. I cried too the first night. BUT.... it works! Everyone I know that has tried it... it works! When she wakes up in the middle of the night, go to her and reassure her that everything is ok. Feed her if you think she needs it (although she should be able to sleep 7-10 hours without a feeding at 6 months of age, unless she is underweight), and then get back to bed. Just let her cry. You will never regret doing this. My girls are now the best sleepers I could ask for. After a few nights, she will know that there is a choice at night... sleep or cry. She will choose to sleep. Good luck. You are a great mom and you will get through this.

Another vote for let her "cry it out". At my 6mo appointment my pediatrician told me if I was continuing the 2AM feed, I was 'training' a night-feeder without realizing it. So it took at least a week of loud upset crying, and lack of sleep for us, but then it ended just like that, and we had a 11-12hour sleeper. Hang tough, you'll be glad you did.

Hi! My name is Annie and I'm new here. I had a really good sleeper, and a bad one. They are both sleeping great now. I used the letting them cry for a bit method. My max was always 15 minutes and I would go and comfort them. This does not make you a bad mother. Trust me, they will be much happier when they are able to get a full night's sleep, and you will be as well. Good sleep habits are very important. I am not a fan of co-sleeping, I think children sleep way better when they sleep by themselves. My girls sleep in the same room, different beds and they are perfectly happy loving children. They know I love them so much even though I don't sleep with them. It is ultimately your decision though. You should do what is better for you. Good luck!

You put some detail in...but I was wondering if you co-sleep or would be willing to try that. It takes less work to breastfeed at night if you don't have to try to sneak away (immediately).
I got plenty of sleep with my daughter that way.

Looks like you've already gotten a range of advice from co-sleeping to cry it out. You should do what feels right for you. I don't think any one method is the "cure-all", it really depends on the baby, the parents, and the particular situation. We were in a similar situation as you and we decided to use the Ferber method when our daughter was 6 months - she was doing the same thing as your DD. We first weaned her of her nighttime feeds (my DH did that - it might be too difficult for you since you are her source of food), then we let her cry for 5/10/15 minute increments before going in to sooth her. It took less than a week. It was difficult to do but I think totally worth it. Now she goes down very easily and sleeps through the night. She is getting more sleep b/c of it too.

Hi A..
I have to agree with Kendra on this. The cry it out method is what I have done for both of my kids and, even though it's incredibly hard, it works. And believe me, my kids are not damaged because of it. They are happy, well adjusted, and well RESTED boys. :) i think that giving your children the ability to put themselves to sleep and sleep for 11 to 12 hours is necessary for a happy household. For us, the crying it out method made that happen. In my opinion, at six months, there is no reason why she should need to wake up to eat. Another idea is to stop feeding her when she wakes up. If you dont' want to let her cry, try just going in there, patting her on the back, do whatever, BUT DON"T FEED HER. She'll go back to sleep and hopefully in a few nights she'll realize there's nothing to wake up for. Good luck. Let us know what happens.

Could be teething... I used to give my 2nd child those teething tablets, until I found out that the bella donna in the tablets isn't consistent, and the product I was using was not regulated by the FDA... AND that there have been some cases of babies going into a coma because they had TOO much bella donna in their system! (Kinda have to wonder how much of these teething tablets the parents were giving to their child!) My 2nd child had a rough time with teething, and the pain would wake her up, even after I gave her Tylenol right before bed. Orajel is working great with #3, but he only wakes up once each night.
Good luck!

Hi A.,

I've recommended this book so many times I feel like a recording, but I cannot sing it's praises enough. It LITERALLY saved my life. Go ASAP to the library or Borders or wherever you can and get the book "Solve Your Child's Sleep Problems" by Dr. Richard Ferber. I'm telling you, until I read this book I did not understand why my (then)10 month old would only sleep if he was nursing. He was a huge baby -- 10.2 pounds at birth, and grew like a weed -- weighed 20 pounds by 3 months. He was a great eater on top of being a champion nurser, but he started waking up and screaming at night when I took my breast out of his mouth. I HAD to bring him into bed with me and hubby because I was barely getting 2-3 hours of sleep at night. It all started when he was about 4 months old. By 10 months I literally thought I would die of exhaustion! I had a barely 2 year old at the time also, and was so afraid of him being woken up at night, thus I resorted to co-sleeping. It SUCKED. I was afraid all night of rolling over on him, or my husband rolling over on him, and when I did fall asleep, it was not deep sleep because I was too afraid of him getting smothered. Dr. Ferber explains the whole sleep process and how we can "train" our children to be good sleepers. I used his method on my 10 month old and by the 3rd night, he was going to bed wide awake, falling asleep on his own, and sleeping through the night without so much as a peep until morning. By the time #3 came along, I used Dr. Ferber's advice right off the bat and he has been the best little sleeper in the world!! There was never any nights of crying or waking up at all hours (once he hit 3 months old, that's the magical age according to Dr. Ferber). Anyway, I didn't mean to be so long winded, but I cannot express to you how much I understand what you are going through and how you are feeling right now!! You will get so much out of this book!! Go get it, read it and be forever enlightened on how to have a good sleeper!! Hang in there and good luck!!

A.
(SAHM of 3 boys ages 9 1/2, 8, 4, and one in the oven!)

Both my children have never been good sleepers! My daughter didn't start sleeping consistently through the night until she was 3!!!! My son is 16 months and he would constantly wake up during the night (always has!!!)...I have tried the crying it our method and it seems to work really well for my son...he still wakes during the night, but he is able to put himself back to sleep, its great! I have never been a fan of CIO, and it never worked on my daughter, but it works with my son...of course I do not let him cry too long...at 6 months old when she wakes at 2 am let her cry for 10-15 minutes before you go in there (or longer if you can!) if you know she is starving go in feed her and put her back in her bed kiss and say night night...I hope your daughter lets you sleep soon :)

You may not like what I say, but we had the same situation with our daughter until she was nine months old. We ended up letting her cry it out the first time 5 mins. then we'd pick her up, 2nd night we'd let her cry 10 mins. pick her up, 3rd night 20 mins,etc. Believe me it was very hard. My mom would always say it's good for their lungs. Eventually, she learned to control herself and calm herself down. This took about a week, but it was so worth it since she woke up every two hours. I am saying this believing the child is healthy. If there is something wrong, or she is sick you will have that probably until she feels better.

This is a hard time to go through with no sleep, believe me I know, and I feel for you. Lack of sleep affects everything. I hope she sleeps through the night soon for everyone's sake.
Take care,
K.

A.,

I wish you the best! I have an 8 1/2 month old who has gone through all kinds of sleeping phases. we've done so many things. Some nights are okay and others are so hard. Feel blessed that you have slept 8 hours straight! I'm jealous... I still haven't seen that night yet! I know it will shift. Hang in there, that's all I can say to myself every day. She's so worth it though:)

Best of luck! S.

A., i was wondering if you co- sleep with your angel?? My son was having the same issues and my husband and i just put in bed with us and it has made all the difference in the world !!!!! Our son would startle himself awake about 10 minutes after i laid him in his bassinet, so we decided to have him sleep with us, not what we had planned but it is working out great, it will be a different issue when we want to transition him into his own bed,but we are not in any hurry. We get our sleep and he gets his. Also it is fantastic for bonding time. He love to snuggle up to us =).i hope you find something that helps !!!! God bless ~ K.

Hi my name is S. i have 4 boys and i have never had that problem my baby is 5 mths and he sleeps a night have u tryed feeding her like solid foods and then a warm bath a warm bottle it might help try it

My pediatrician told us that once our son had slept through the night, that indicated that he was ABLE to sleep through the night without food. It doesn't sound like this was exactly the same situation, but he told us to let him cry it out. He said that once they were able to go through the night with out food, they were just getting up out of habit. The more you go in and stay with him, the more he will expect. From what I read I wouldn't suggest this for any baby less than 5 months. So we waited 5 min, at first then went in just a little bit, than waited 10 min, went in etc. It was terrible for the first week or so! No one got sleep, but ever since he has slept through the night and I have much more sanity. I hope this helps. Good luck!

Sounds like she is teething. Try giving her Hyland's Teething Tablets before bed. It could also be a growth spurt. It is probably a phase, and will pass. Keep treating her gently and responding to her needs. I would recommend reading the No Cry Sleep Solution by Elizabeth Pantly. It's an awesome resource full of great ideas!! Also, here are some links that can help:

http://www.kathydettwyler.org/detsleepthrough.html
http://www.llli.org/NB/NBSepOct05p204a.html
http://www.askdrsears.com/html/7/T070100.asp