So. I guess you can say I am an over protected mom and get in my children's business with friends and arguments.....and posted about my daughter having this " only child " as a best friend from a previous post months ago......
She does not leave my daughter alone. Always encouraging her to do this and that. Tries to kinda tell her what to do.
The days get long for a mom that witnesses this a lot. My daughter likes this girl and they do have fun...but there is issues as with any friendship. Also my daugher wants to take breaks and play with other friends but is sometimes afraid to tell her that.
So we are going to 5th grade camp and my daugher choose her to be in our cabin along with 2 other girls and moms....it has not been decided by the teachers but I want so badly to ask the teacher to not pair them up and give us a break for these 3 days. Is that just Mean or is it OK to do this ???
My daughter would be okay if she was not in the cabin, but did choose her to be in her cabin. Of coarse she would not know I have sabatoge this...... Please KIND WORDS OF WISDOM even if you don't agree.
You are the mom and you need to do what you think is best. If it were me, I would ask the teacher to put them in separate cabins.
I think it would be good for the girls to be apart. Let the other girl for a few days hang out with some other girls, and maybe get out of her comfort zone and make some new friends. Might be good for her and for your daughter. If I were you, id probably do the same thing, and quietly talk to the teacher about maybe having them in different cabins. No big deal, no one has to know or get hurt. Just trying to expand the girl's friend circle.
Your daughter wants her there, let it happen if it's going to happen - the teachers have not made a decision yet but they may end up deciding against it all on their own without you interfering.
In general, and I apologize if this sounds harsh, you might want to start practicing the art of letting your daughter go and allowing her to figure things out on her own, as far as navigating the world of friendships and working out any issues. Always trying to intervene on her behalf in the end isn't really doing her any favors - it only prevents her from growing up and blossoming as a strong capable individual who can handle things for herself.
Please ask the teacher to DISCREETLY do this. I have to do it for my child because there is a girl who latches on and sabatoges her other relationships. Plus, she is a bad influence. Discretion is key and once cabins are assigend....too late. Just don't tell your child who will tell and then the girl will be worse.
It won't hurt to ask, however, don't be disappointed if it's too late. I went out of my mind last year as a 5th grade teacher in charge of putting kids in cabins for camp. It was very complicated trying to keep 60 kids happy but it was even harder to keep the adults happy. I had more parents whine about who they were rooming with than 5th graders (not that I think you're whining-- I just thought it was interesting how these parents didn't realize this was about their children having fun, not them.)
I can see this from both sides. There is a pushy little girl in my daughter's class that insists on sitting next to her and playing with her every day, even though my daughter said that at times there are others she would rather play with. It seems that this girl isn't well liked by the others. It bothers me because my daughter is a little on the shy side and has trouble speaking up and gives up the opportunity to play with others to be with this girl. I only drew the line when this girl was insisting on "sharing" my daughter's lunch. I finally asked the teacher to separate them in the classroom (they were next to each other) and she tried to separate them at lunch. She said my daughter wasn't cooperating because she kept picking this girl to sit with. So finally I just decided that as long as this girl wasn't taking her lunch anymore and wasn't bullying her, to let nature take its course. I also think that some times as moms we may not like the children our kids are friends with, but they like them. I think you should let this be. I was a child that was rarely "picked" to share a cabin at Girl Scout camp. Even though your daughter might be okay with not being in the same tent, it could be heart breaking to the other little girl. It is really nice of your daughter to choose her, and that is another reason you should let this go. Perhaps you can help guide them when this girl gets a little pushy.
You are your child's advocate in this, and I think it would be helpful to have each of them be in separate cabins - then maybe the other girl would have other friends beside your daughter. I would definitely ask the teacher to NOT pair them up. :)
If your daughter already picked her, I would let it go this time. If it is a disaster, and she'll learn to start widening her circle of friends after camp. Have your daughter join other activities that this bossy girl is not involved in, and invite other kids over and out with you in the future. 5th grade is a tough year on girl friendships. Is this Girl Scout camp? Even if your daughter is in the same cabin with this friend, they may be in different activities throughout the day. Is there an adult leader in the cabin? I'd just have a discreet little pre-camp chat with the leader about watching to see if she can provide any words of wisdom if she notices any friendship-dynamic issues.
Tough to know what's best sometimes, isn't it? My opinion would be that your daughter has to be allowed to choose her own friends. She will also learn when to discontinue relationships - a difficult thing even for adults. Obviously, if there were something terribly disturbing to you about this friend, something potentially harmful to your child, then all bets are off and you need to intervene. It doesn't sound like that's the case, so try to step back and let your daughter make her own decisions. Good luck, Mom.
I'd say nothing and let the chips fall where they may.
The teacher might actually see what is going on and split them up anyway.
Your daughter needs to learn how to say no and how to stand up for herself. 3 days and nights with this kid might be just what the doctor ordered.
You - stay out of it. You are just there to make sure nobody gets hurt. Talk to the other parents and enjoy your time with the kids. You learn so much more about your child and the others if you are just quiet and listen. They forget you are there until they need you... that's exactly what you want to happen.
LBC
