Hi, Mamas (and a few dads :-)!
My five year old daughter is in kindergarten this year. She is having some major anxiety about going to school everyday. Stomachaches, I-don't-feel-wells, complete meltdowns upon being woken up to go to school (mostly after short school breaks like three day weekends, illness, whatever), etc. It started with day one, and it has continued all year. In fact, it might be a little worse than it was at the beginning. We are now a little more than two thirds of the way through the school year, and it's not any better. My husband and I thought she would adjust if given time and space to do so, but that doesn't seem to be happening. We've spoken to her teacher (who is outstanding), and she says that my girlie is doing well in the classroom, but before she goes and after she gets home, all I see is an alternatingly shrunken, small person and a wild, exhausted, overstimulated monster. I see very little of my daughter's real personality. Usually just on breaks after SEVERAL days of relaxation.
I'll be getting a list of counselors from the pediatrician on Friday when I take the youngest in for a checkup, but besides therapy (which we'll probably end up doing), do you mamas have any other suggestions? She also has sensory processing disorder, just fyi, so the whole school environment can be a bit overwhelming. She wears a compression shirt at school to help her be calm and focused. It helps with her attention somewhat, but not her anxiety.
Thanks!
O wow I just wrote the same exact thing about my 6 y/o, i hope we get some good advice M.!!! I don't know who cries more, them or us!
Sounds to me like your daughter just isn't ready for being a part from you for such a long period of time. I don't think she needs a therapist, it sounds like she needs to homeschool.
I know I couldn't send my daughter to full day kindergarten next year. No way. She likes being with mom and at home too much to be gone that many hours every week. He'll, I don like being away from the house for that many hours, I can't imagine asking it of a 5 year old.k
Is there a possibility to pick her up on the half-day for the remainder of the year? My son is nearly 6, but we did enroll him in half-day, feeling that the full day was just too much for him.
I'd keep working with an OT (do you have an OT) on ways she can de-stress before and after school. Maybe an earlier bedtime and getting up earlier, so she has a more relaxed morning with time for play? Be sure she's getting plenty of 'down' time in the afternoon, where she doesn't have to run off to a lesson or activity, but can just hang out and do what is soothing to her. I'd reserve tv/media for weekends for now, too. Lots of typical kids need a big break after school. If my son had his way, he'd come home, wash his hands and go right to playing Legos for a bit. Some days, I let him if he seems uptight or upset. This usually works for us.
Also, could the teacher work with you so that she lets your daughter out into the hall a few minutes before everyone else is dismissed, so she doesn't have to deal with the crowded hallways, shuffle and noise of the kids being dismissed as a group? Would that help?
Make sure she is getting good sleep at night. My GD did a lot of that on MOndays and I finally realized that it was because I was letting her stay up too late on Friday and Saturday nights so by Monday morning she was still really tired. I now only allow sleepovers one night of the weekend and I get her to bed about 1/2 hour earlier on Sunday nights and so far she has done much better on Mondays.
Also, there is a kid's book called "The Kissing Hand." It's about a little raccoon who is afraid to leave his mom to go to school. It's great and the kids really relate!
Is homeschool an option?
Other than that, I would suggest talking more with the teacher about different ways to help her. You may need to try new things.
We homeschool, and I see so many of the families being thankful that they can do it (it's not for everyone) and they are grateful to have their relaxed and happy children back. Learning one-on-one in the comfort of their own home is a blessing, especially for kids with sensory issues. There are many online programs if you're not confident you can do it. First a child must feel comfortable before any learning can happen.
Therapy is the way to go. My daughter has some anxiety issues, and missed quite a bit of school in 6th grade after a particularly traumatic event. Therapy was a lifesaver for her, and us. Good luck!
In addition to the other suggestions, maybe you could try this? Couldn't hurt... http://www.healthextremist.com/banana-a-natural-beta-bloc...
