5 Yr Old Throws Anger Fits

Hi D.,
I wonder if Love and Logic would be beneficial for you? You have your hands full and maybe these techniques would give you some relief and help him own his emotions and behavior. One thing they say that is not in line with your counselor is "save your words for happy times." So, when he starts a fit, put him in his room (he can play, block the door, whatever) and when you are ready and he is ready, set a timer (a minute per year of age)---if he acts up during that time, then you start over. After the timer, give hugs and have him join the family again. You really don't need to revisit the behavior, he is intelligent and knows what he has done. These techniques do work and hopefully will give you some relief. Look online at their website; also I have a list of instructors for Texas if you would like to attend a class. I love this program in the fact that it helps me not get frustrated or exhausted....if I am either of those...I have let the behavior go too far. Take care of you!

I offer lots of sympathy to you.

My daughter is 3 1/2 and is very strong willed and throws a tantrum when she doesn't get her way. Luckily, time outs do affect her sometimes, but not all the time.
Something I've realized lately is that I don't get to spend enough 1 on 1 time with my kid's. They're twins and it's so easy for all of us to do an activity together because they're both at the same stage/level.
But I'm seeing that if she is throwing a tantrum because she wants attention, which I feel is the case with her, then I need to make 1 on 1 time more of a priority. I have done this before and it has helped. In fact, what I do is hold her really close and I let her 'cry it out' if she feels like it. So if I hold her, she'll sometimes start sobbing and I'll say 'you can let it all out' and she will - she starts crying and it seems like she has a bunch of emotions built inside and it's a relief to her to just let it all out. And I'm more than happy to hold her and make her feel comforted and safe. We always see major improvement after I do this with her.
Good luck and keep praying!!
A.

I can't offer any suggestions because I haven't been there/ done that but I will offer my prayers for you and your family and son. That has to be difficult for all of you...

Must be the age for it, my 5 1/2 year old son has been having doozies lately too!

We're still stuggling through it, but two things that have helped us are:
1) Be consistent - always! If they sense they can wear you down they'll intensify until they do.
2) Don't lose your temper. He's looking for attention, positive or negative, losing your temper feeds it.

Good luck, and keep praying - pray with your son too, ask God to help him make good choices, not get angry, not hit, etc.

OH MY GOSH I can't believe this message - we are SO there with you hon!! We should seriously get together and exchange strategies :) HEHE only my son is 4 - and we'll he's my only one so far :) He would easily (and usually does) pass for a 5 yr old though; heightwise and maturity-wise.
Last night we went to visit his school and meet his teacher - he starts prek in the fall - and he threw a big fit when we had to leave - then another big fit when we said he didn't need to go in the store with daddy (we had to make a very quick stop to pickup milk on the way home) - little bitty things cause they don't go EXACTLY as he wants or plans -
He has hit and bitten - but I have learned to stay away from him and let him fight it out inside; but have tried "everything" i can think of - yes including the love and logic, the time out, the spanking - EVERYTHING - we're doing reality discipline now. Last night he missed out on his tv show, milk and snack and insisted that he MUST be tired to be acting that way -- wasn't fun but I'm proud of us as parents for sticking to that and pulling through :) whew!
I will tell you to watch for signs of him trying to do what you suggest for controlling anger - and praise him for doing that - I noticed mine taking a deep breath and counting to 10 several times - it takes time I guess for these little ones to change :)
one more thing - you said you just went back to work? I went from being a sahm to going to work full time around the time Mark was too, and not sure if it was his age/stage or what, but that's when the problems started and they escalated - he is perfect for the sitter or anyone else but a little monster at home with me -- I think he might feel hurt or bitter because he misses mommy. I've had to work quite a bit of overtime. I've decided to quit my job and be a sahm again - this being one big reason for that. I wonder if this could be what's goign on with your son? I"m not suggesting quitting your job - just that it might be an answer, somewhere to begin - hope that helps. Feel free to message me; we really should exchange strategies sometime :)
Good luck!!
R.