5 Year Old with Sleep/behavior Problems

I think you should avoid the use of the word "bad" at all. Even when discussing her behavior. I don't know why "bad" should come into it. Why not say: we would like you to do X, or, please don't do Y.

I think it's b.s. that there's some big distinction between "your behavior is bad" and "you are bad." I think telling a child they are "bad" in any way, shape or form is extremely harmful.

"Bad" is unnecessary and irrelevant, unless maybe you're speaking to a dog.

Thats' my 2 cents - other moms can address your other concerns.

***Adding this: She may very well be, experiencing some anxiety... since she knows she will be starting Kindergarten soon. That is a big deal for some kids and emotionally. Help her through it.
Don't scold/punish her for her behaviors now... it is emotion based, or stress possibly.
As a young child, I remember myself being 'nervous' about starting school and a new grade... so many unknowns to a young child.
And at this age, emotionally, they don't know how to navigate through their apprehensions/anxiety... they don't even know what that is, and they don't have the ability to articulate it.... succinctly either. And just NOT knowing... what school/Kinder will be like... is a big thing to not know... and it can stress a child.
Talk with her... help her... let her know she's okay... and when she is grumpy or doesn't feel well or is irritated, that she CAN tell you, verbalize it and you can comfort her.
She probably needs extra "bonding" right now... my daughter is like that when she 'needs' more bonding from me.
Kids, no matter what age, STILL need 'bonding' and comforting.... and it is manifested differently per their age-set.
But it can help to calm them and assure them... through their grumpy and not so even-keeled moments.
I know it does for my kids.

Instead of trying to do things like how Kinder will be (ie: the green/yellow/red cards.) Stop doing that... that is not what she needs right now.
INSTEAD.... I would just in a fun way, talk "about " Kindergarten and "allow" her to ask questions and to even be "allowed" to feel nervous about it... that way, she can commiserate with you about it, and get out any apprehensions etc. Make it non-intimidating.
Or... get her books on "Kindergarten" and read it together. Help her adjust.

The point is: your daughter, has a big thing coming up... Kindergarten. I think... that is the thing that is affecting her sleep and then lack of sleep and her behavior. Kids... when they get like this, can also mean that something in their life is changing... or they are stressed. The one BIG "change" in her life, is Kindergarten.

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Probably lack of sleep. Hence, she is overtired.

Animal Parade, is a good brand that makes kids vitamins. They also have this "Warm Milk" chewables which helps to foster sleep.
Here is the link:
http://www.buzzillions.com/reviews/natures-plus-animal-pa...

You can find it on Amazon as well and any natural food store or Whole Foods.

Good luck,
Susan

Sounds like she is sleep deprived. BTDT with our middle daughter, we ended up seeing a pediatric sleep specialist/neurologist and he put her on melatonin and clonidine (sp) it took us about six months to get her sleep to a normal schedule and get her off the meds. We still use the melatonin from time to time if we notice her sleep/behavior is off for more than a few days. For her the underlying issue is ADHD and we can not medicate her due to side effects (believe me we have tried). Good Luck

First don't worry about the behavior thing.
It's likely she will act differently with her teachers. I've known kids that were HELL at home and sweet as angels at school. You won't know how she will act until he gets there.

for sleep have you tried melatonin? One 3 mg melatonin at bed time usually put my 5 yr old out in 20 mins. He was also having trouble going to sleep and his ped recommended that because nothing else worked. We have stopped using it and he now after being in the habit of falling asleep quickly he does it on his own.

Yes, I think talking with her doctor again is a good idea. I think it's possible that her behavior issues are related to her lack of enough sleep. I also suggest that the card color way of handling discipline may not work so well with her. I say this because my franddaughter's first grade teacher used this system and my granddaughter said the same things about not knowing how to be good and she'll never be a good girl. She's now entering the 5th grade and still has behavior issues in class but none of her other teachers have used this system and she's no longer as negative about discipline. It could be she's matured and the issues causing her misbehavior are better addressed so that the color card system had nothing to do with her feelings at that time. It's difficult to know.

One disadvantage to the system that I see is that it feels impersonal to me. But I'm not familiar with the actual way it's used. My daughter's psychological dad and my SO at the time used level 1,2,3 with his boys. When his son was on level 3 discipline certain things happened and the stronger the discipline became by the time he reached level 3. This did not work with my daughter. It was too intellectual and required a good memory from me. I feel some of the same negative feelings for the card system. I think both the level and the color of the card is influenced by all misbehavior and not just one specific behavior. For example if she didn't complete a chore she was at level 1. If in addition to not completing the chore she smart mouthed me at a later time, then it was level 2. She could reach level 3 by not completing a different chore. She went up the levels for different behaviors at different times. Is that what you mean?

I suggest a more effective way of disciplining is to deal with each individual event with a natural consequence. For not completing a chore she was to complete the chore before she could do anything else. When she smart mouthed me, she went to her room until she could come out and say sorry and be pleasant. That sort of thing.

I'm don't know her form of discipline but I do know that when I visited her classroom, Monet's desk was positioned next to the teacher's desk. The classroom was arranged with desks face to face in two rows. My granddaughter's desk was still a part of the group but it was closest to the desk. My granddaughter has difficulty focusing and talks when she should be quiet. This seemed like a more effective way of dealing with my granddaughter's difficulties than giving her cards colored so as to increase her consequences. When she "earned" the highest card she spent recess in doors and away from other children.

My daughter has now been diagnosed with ADHD and she has an IEP which is helping her to modify her behavior. If your card system does not deal directly with the behavior then I understand why your daughter feels and my granddaughter felt that they could not be good. That system does not teach them how to behave. It only tells them that they've misbehaved.

You haven't asked for suggestions on how to help her get to sleep sooner. Are you interested in those ideas too?

She might need to run off some steam later in the day -- before bath and bed. If you can take her to a pool at about 6 - after dinner. She'll sleep like a baby.
I used to make my kids run around the house 10 times...
I'm mean...
But - it blew off their excess energy.
Give her a flashlight and just tell her that she needs to stay in her room and read.
Skip the card thing - she'll be fine at school.
Be consistent with your discipline and such-- if you have used time out - go back to it. If you haven't used it - you might consider starting it up.
LBC

I don't know what diet regimen you adhere to, but you should cut sugar down to a minimum. Kids today are affected by sugar because it's in EVERYTHING! Also you might explore food additives. My daughter was adhd and when I took her off BHA/BHT preservatives, she was much calmer and her grades in school improved. Some find red dye makes kids hyper.