5 Year Old with Major Attitude

My daughter is 4 and one day decided she no longer wanted to eat the food that would help her "grow up big". She would cry anytime someone would mention growing up. All this was very out of character for her. Then she started talking about her imaginary "dead bird" and we got scared. Later in the week I sat and watched Caillou with her...Caillou and hid dad found a dead bird and Caillou's dad explained the bird had gotten "too old" ...Bingo! Suddenly it all made sense...she still fears growing up but now we are helping her work through it. It was such a little thing, a 5 minute cartoon, that we overlooked it...but it meant so much more to her.

I was wondering if someone made a big deal about being a "big girl" at thier birthday event? It might not have seemed like a big deal to you, but maybe it hit home with your daughter. It sounds like she is upset about something, for sure. Also, have you tried taking her somewhere, just the two of you to talk about it? Good luck!

Hi--I agree with Teresa's post. She may be having anxiety about starting school in the fall. Just give her loving support, even when it seems unreasonable! Good luck.

5 is a pretty major milestone. I wonder if someone said something to her about being such a big girl or starting school soon and it's caused her fear. I vaguely remember feeling similar fears when I was young because somehow I feared being older - I thought expectations would be much higher and I'd not be able to handle it (of course, I couldn't process the fear as well when I was that age, but looking back at how I felt, that's exactly why I was so scared of getting older). Seems to me like she's trying to hold onto her babyhood as much as possible. I'm willing to bet if you don't make a big deal out of it, give her lots & lots of love & reassurance, maybe rock her & read books, etc., this will pass.

I am probably too old to like the word, "Attitude". I wouldn't call the symptoms you described a major attitdue. I'd call it, "Something's wrong with my child, and I don't know what it is."

She's trying to withdraw, and the key is to find out why. And that you won't find simply by turning off the TV. I would try to draw her out if you can, and listen to her. Did this start after something happened at school ? What day did it start, and can you run through that day in your mind to get some clues as to what might have triggered it.

If you are going to take the TV away, take it from yourself, too, and swap it for something like reading books together, even reading them to the blankie, with your arm around her, too. Try to join her world a little, so you can coax her back into yours.

Sometimes something hits us, we hear something, we see something, something happens, and while it may not be a big deal to an adult, something happened that has her mind busy. The trick is to be quietly there for her, and help her to feel safe and ask questions, so she begins to talk to you -- about little things first, but every conversation opens the door and paves the way for the oppotunity to come when she shares what's bothering her.

You can't force any of that, but you can do your best to set an atmosphere where it'll happen.

but to say she has an attitude ? No, she's working on a problem, and needs some support.