My 5 year old has high anxiety.(She turns 6 in March) She has trouble adjusting to new situations. She often stresses over the littlest things. Her stress actually flairs up her eczema. She often cannot handle being in a separate room from me, follows me around the house. She absolutely cannot handle being in a room by herself. She also seems to have a short attention spand and needs to be kept very busy. Dr. says not to worry about it, "all kids are different", "she will grow out of it". But I am wondering what more I can be doing for her.
I believe she has some food allergies and have been trying very hard to keep her on a very healthy (organic when possible) diet. She also does not like to drink very much. If not reminded to drink often, she would be happy only drinking a few oz per day.
I have been struggling with her ever since she was little. It has been one thing after another. It started with teething. She cut her first 2 bottom teeth just fine, but the first 4 top teeth all cut in the same day. Then within a month she started working on the next 6 teeth. She stopped sleeping and was extremely cranky for 8 weeks. Three months later she started vomiting to get her way. Then it was these angry moments that had me setting on the floor holding her to keep everone safe. At times I have thought that maybe it was a behavioral issue. For a long time it seemed to cycle. She would be good for weeks, then horrible for 5-10 days. She is getting much taller now and it is getting harder for me to handle these outbursts. She has troubles relaxing. I have tried massage, baths, soft music, and many other relaxing techniques. And I have my other children to think about.
She seems to be getting a little better as she gets older. She now goes months between major issues. But I am a concerned. I thought about trying aromatherapy but don't know where to start. Anyone else experience anything like this or just any support or advice. I could really use the support.
The issues with my daughter are an ongoing issue, however I want to thank everyone for their advice and encouragement. My husband and I are looking into ways to meet her needs as well as keep her more active. She seems to be through her last spell...this one only lasted a week. I am thankful that the episodes are coming farther and farther appart. Maybe she Is starting to grow out of them. Thanks again to everyone that replied and to all those who have her in your prayers.
A. H.
Hi A.!
Both of my children have gone through this at one time or another. When I talked to their preschool teacher about this she said to try activities such as play doh. She said the play doh allows them to use their hands in order to get rid of their stress and anxiety. Hope this helps!
A. I really feel for you. The doctor should have given you different ways to deal with your daughters issues. Maybe try consultanting a Mental Health Specialist and see what they can do. Also you must look at the fact sometimes children do not adjust well to other siblings. She probably feels that you don't have time for her considering that you have two small children. Teach her to be a helper and maybe she will feel more included. I wish the best of luck.
Wow! This is exactly like my son who turned 6 back in nov. I actually just took him to a neuro psychologist (he had several brain bleeds) to have him evaluated. My 2 main concerns were 1-his extreme anxiety and 2- this terrible mood/behaviour outbursts. I was told that his anxiety had been inherited (my husband and I both have very high anxiety)and it was extreme with an early onset. We were told he should go to a few sessions with a CHILD psychiatrist to try and teach him techniques to calm himself and also maybe pinpoint some things that are triggering his anxiety. He has actually had panic attacks before. He has serious worries with death and dying and with every little cut he gets he truly thinks he could die. There is no cure for anxiety, but only techniques on how to conquer life with it. There is medication, but that will be a last resort for us after we explore every other option and also only if it gets worse or more frequent. I would have to suggest the same advice with seeing a psychiatrist for a few sessions or maybe longer if she needs it.
Now with the angry outbursts...I have found that I can resolve them much quicker with complete love and affection even though his actions justify punishment and not positive affection. I used to send him to his room or time out, but that just became a bigger battle and I was holding him down so he wouldn't hurt people or objects in my home. These fits could last for over an hour. Now I go and calmly hug him and softly speak to him to calm him down and reassure him that I love him very much and I will do whatever I can to help through whatever it is that is making him feel so outraged. I have noticed a huge difference. My son gets angry at little things like someone accidently stepping on his foot. He thinks everything is done on purpose and maliciously. Don't get me wrong he does get punished for the behavior, but not until he is calm and can discuss his behavior. My son reacts in this manner due to some loss of brain in the frontal lobe that controls behavior. He is completely normal and has only a little loss in the area, but tests indicate this is the reason for his extreme behavior changes and mood swings. This also doesn't mean it is excuseable, but with time we should be able to control this. I will also say it never happens anywhere, but home. He will hold his anger in until we get home and then let it out. I think that maybe a psychiatrist may be able to help determine your daughters reasoning for her rage and you may consider getting a scan of her brain like an MRI just to be sure there isn't any damage you weren't aware of.
And my final thought on both my son and your daughter is this may just be part of who they are and maybe they will just outgrow it. It is nice to know that you are not alone in the world though and I hope that some of this helped you. Good Luck!
I sympathize with what you're going through. My daughter and one of my sons has gone through this type of thing. My son is 11 and has learned to handle his anxiety better, but only because he saw a child psychiatrist and child psychologist. If your pediatrician has not suggested that, I'd change pediatricians because he is not addressing the entire spectrum of health for your child. My daughter is 8 and is doing better but still slips back into these behaviors. You can help by making transitions as matter of fact as possible with plenty of warning of what will change and what is expected. Water is crucial to healthy brain functions, and it could be playing a part.Anxiety is inherited as well as modeled. But it also sounds as if your daughter is controlling the house. For your sake as well as hers, take her to a CHILD psychologist who can evaluate what is going on as well as the impact this is having on the family. They will give you some solid techniques to use in addition to the relazation techniques you are trying. PHysical exercise helps with the relaztion too. Get her involved in as many physical activities as you can, like gymnastics, dance, taekwondo (great for relazation and self-control), for several times a week. Medication may help her get through the rough episodes, and it is not a bad thing when used with therapy and the other avenues you are already on. Good luck. It will get better when you find the right combination for your daughter.
My 5 year old also has high anxiety. He is much calmer when kept busy because it gives his mind less time to think. His preschool teacher has been wonderful. She will take me aside when he has shown signs of stress at school and if he has talked about anything going on in his little head. We have a lot of toys at home to act things out, to pretend with, and if we let him play and play with him some he will start to talk about things in his head. When he does this, he relaxes more, sleeps better and is overall happier. Other suggestions which we are trying this fall is recreational sports. Playing on a team, soccor, t-ball, basketball or running will greatly help. It gives them something to stay busy with, and keep their minds from wondering. We are also working on the fact that it's ok to have angery or mad thoughts, but you have to talk about them, or let the other person know they have hurt you.
My son is not as anxious as your daughter, but these things have helped us a lot!
Lavender is a very calming scent. It relaxes you. You might try using an oil burner to have the scent in your home. or you could get a lavender oil and put a drop on her clothes so that it is with her all day. You could also give her a bath with lavender bath products. check out this website and you can get the lavender stuff delivered to you. www.thebodyshopathome.com/web/aoaks
good luck
Hi my 9yr old daughter was almost exactly the way your daughter is acting..She would make herself throw up so she would not have to eat..Things got so bad that I lost a babysitter over her. I took her to every kind of doctor and they all told me that she would grow out of it. A pscologist told me that she was bord and I need to get her more active..
The good news is she did get better once she got into school and was a a schedule, She does have some trouble on the days school is out or over the first couple of weeks of summer vacation, trying to adjust to the schedule...So i agree that she should get better once you get her into school..
As for the drinking issues two of my other daughters drink very little every day. They can drink a half a glass of juice in a 6hr period...but again i have learned that they will be ok..I hope this makes you feel a more relaxed about the situation..
