5 Year Old up Every Morning at 3:30 Am

Updated on July 30, 2012
M.L. asks from Claremont, CA
10 answers

How do I get him to sleep all night long? He wakes, then wakes me, I lie down with him, he falls asleep and then I'm awake!!With the summe , he's in bed late, around 9pm. I do give him melatonin on occasion, but how can I get him to sleep all the night long?

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So What Happened?

No real improvement. He wakes at 2 or 3 am about 3 times a week, crying that he is afraid of the dark. We soothe him, then stumble back to bed. I really hope this is a phase he will grow out of.

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B.G.

answers from Springfield on

He might be overtired. My kids are 3 and 6, and my 6 year old used to do things like this when he was overtired or when let him stay up too late. He's pretty good about sleeping in now. My 3 year old, on the other hand, get's up at the same time every morning no matter what time he goes to bed! He doesn't usually need a nap, but if he is up late I usually try to get him down for a nap the next day.

I understand the idea that it's ok for him to stay up until 9 pm because it's summer, but I'm thinking you might want to consider an earlier bedtime. If he gets to bed by 8 (or 8:30, you might need to play around a bit) he might get a better sleep.

Good luck!

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S.L.

answers from New York on

He's not napping, is he?
You could try putting him to bed at 8 and see what happens.
Make sure there is a digital clock in his room and tell him he needs to stay in his bed until it says 6

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A.V.

answers from Washington DC on

I would try to go back to basics and re-train him to go back to sleep on his own. Why does he wake at that hour? Is he sick? Scared? Does he need a lovie or nightlight or maybe rather than YOU he can take your sweatshirt to sleep with? Have you tried one of those day/night clocks?

If my DD wakes in the middle of the night (not nightly, but she does get up sometimes) I take care of whatever it is, give her hugs, and then tuck her back in to fall asleep by herself. I tell her she can get up for the day when the fat hand (on her clock) is on the 7 but before that she needs to play quietly in her room unless she is sick or hurt. Before 7 she gets Grumpy Mommy. It gives her choices.

What is your routine when he's first put to bed? Does he fall asleep alone? Or does he need you? If he needs you, then try working on that transition and it may resolve the 2nd waking.

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G.B.

answers from Oklahoma City on

They go through phases. My 5 1/2 year old is getting out of this stage now.

The thing is, I would rather he just crawl in bed with us and everyone get the sleep they need. If you'd rather get up, put him back in bed, etc...then be awake all those extra hours then I guess you are choosing to be tired.

He is not needing as much sleep right now. He is waking up at the end of a sleep cycle. He is most likely disoriented since it's dark but his body thinks it's time to get up.

I'd let him stay up later a few nights in a row then get him up a bit earlier. He might start sleeping through the night then.

B.C.

answers from Norfolk on

Tell him he can use the bathroom, get a book and read it in his bed if the sun has not come up yet.
He is not to wake you before he sees daylight outside his window.

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T.S.

answers from Washington DC on

It's actually normal to wake up during the night. The issue is that he is coming to GET you rather than laying down and going back to sleep on his own. The goal doesn't need to be for him to "sleep all the night long" but to stay in BED all night long.

At 5 years old, it's time to just set the rules. He may NOT come wake you.

Keep a book on his nightstand (maybe let him pick a favorite each night at bedtime). If he wakes up, he can read his book quietly and then go back to sleep ON HIS OWN.

You may need a sticker chart or something as you make the transition. Each night he says in bed is a sticker, ten stickers is some reward.

HTH
T.

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D.K.

answers from Pittsburgh on

Is he having nightmares? If so, I would continue to do what you are doing or have him come into my room. If not - then explain to him that he needs to go back to sleep on his own. You can get him a clock so he can see when he can get up and out of bed.

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M.O.

answers from Chicago on

He is old enough NOT to have to wake you. Explain that mommy is sleeping, give him a book and flashlight to keep by the bed. Tell him to go to the bathroom, get a drink, and if he needs to read quietly, it's ok, but don't wAke me up unless you're vomiting or bleeding.

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J.W.

answers from Lexington on

My younger child was a terrible sleeper. She had to entertain herself quietly in her room while awake. When things got really bad for her, she was to take a Hyland's Insomnia/Calms. It may have been placebo effect that helped, but I don't care. One point was to give her control over her own situation, as well as to let me get even a little more sleep (Even when she was asleep, she kept my husband and I up a lot -- her sleep issues were much more severe than your son's).

And there were plenty times when things were really really bad (it is a long complicated story) she slept in our room on a mat.

BTW, if things do get worse, consult a sleep specialist.

And, maybe this will give some ideas, although your son sounds pretty normal - http://itsnotmental.blogspot.com/2009/01/sleep-timing-of-...

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M.S.

answers from Washington DC on

My son went through a spell of waking up really really early and I told him that he was not allowed to leave his room until it was light outside. Maybe you could do a reward chart or something where he gets a sticker for every day he stays in his room until its daylight and then when he has enough stars he gets some sort of reward.

I also read recently that there is a clock out there that you can program to change colors at a certain time. At 5 he would be old enough to understand this... I googled it.... its called "OK to Wake! - Children's Alarm Clock and Nightlight" maybe that would help!

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