5 Year Old Snobby Best Friend

Your daughter is learning early, what nice and not nice friends are.
It is not an easy lesson.
She still wants to be friends with her.
She wants acceptance or whatever it is.
And... they have been friends, for a long time.
So... this is a hard 'transition' for her... 'losing' a friend.
The habit of it.

Let your girl know, that people don't always have friends 'forever.'
They grow up, and learn what is not nice.
And, this girl, is not nice.

Still, your girl, is not understanding that right now.
Its hard.
The other girl, does not want to be friends. And is mean.

Until your daughter comes to learn that herself, and realizes that everyone changes, I don't know that she will really come to have other friends.
She is so young.
This is a hard and hurtful 'lesson.'

For some reason, some kids think that if they keep trying, the other person will be their friend. But it does not always happen.

Keep communication open with your girl. Let her tell you, her feelings. So that she does not get insecure as a result of this mean friend....

Maybe if you have some kind of "goodbye friend" occasion with her, just between the 2 of you, and make it a positive thing... maybe that will help her. Maybe it will 'transition' her.
Let her draw pictures of herself, all happy, and without her friend etc. And then doing things that SHE likes.... and with other kids etc.

Teach your girl, to also speak up. And that she CAN find other friends. Maybe the 'thought' of finding other friends, is scary for her? After all, she has been friends with this girl for a long time, and it is a 'habit.' She 'relied' in this friend, for a long time etc.
So she's having a hard time... letting go.

ASK your Girl... WHY does she want to be friends, with this girl. Make a list... pro's and con's. And you write it down for her as she talks about it.
Then together, talk about it, and 'see' that the list is full of mean/hurtful things, and not many 'good' things about it and the girl and friendship.
Maybe that will help?

Are you friends with any of the other moms in her class? Can you set up some play dates for her? Maybe if she sees how good it feels to play with someone else it will help her to let go.

Why is she seeking her out? Don't know, ask her.

Meanwhile, you've counseled your daughter all you can, now when you hear about these things you need to say, "Well, honey, I've told you to make other friends, but if you're going to keep trying to be friends with her, that's what you're going to get. It's your choice."

And then let your daughter work it out.

Just keep setting up play dates with other children. If she asks for a play date with that child say No I'm your mom and I will not allow you to play with her because I disapprove of her behavior.

Well, she seeks her out because to lose a friend is to lose all the memories they had when it was good -- well, you don't lose them, but it mars them. However, seeking out someone who rejects you is a form of being abused. I would tell her to not seek her out and see if she seeks you out. Period. It gives the friend the chance to mend her relationship with your daughter and it puts the burden on her. If she doesn't seek her out and behave well, then your daughter will be hurt understandably and you will have to comfort her. I think it ending quicker is better than it dragging out, however.

wow, must be something about this age. we had teh exact same issue this year. I've tried encouraging a few other friendships but they aren't much better than the orginial mean girl.

You need to get some play dates lined up with other kids! And request that they be in separate classes next year!