5 Year Old Anti Social

My middle son was in public pre-k for his speech and there was a little girl there that was just like your little boy. I was out at the park last year (1st grade) and she was one of the loudest kids at the park. I couldn't believe how much she changed and I said something to her M.. It was like something happened after her kindergarten year and she is now (2nd grade) very out going and social.
I'd let your son move on to kindergarten and let him do his own thing. I think sometimes kids just need to do things on their own. What if another year of preschool doesn't help? Did you talk to him before about doing kindergarten this year?

Both of my sons were 6 when they went to KG. The older son we didn't have a choice with....BD fell well after the cutoff. But, with our younger son, we did have a choice & decided to wait based on his inability to stay focused/stay on task. Academically he was ready, socially he was ready - but that was it.

Waiting one year worked very well for both sons. The older son attended an excellent parochial preschool in the next town over. Our younger son was able to make it into our district's KG Bridges program....& he excelled. The Bridges program is supposed to be for children needing academic help, but the majority of kids are there for maturity issues. I found it interesting that there was one girl in the class.....& the rest were boys!

As for the lack of greeting, etc.....start practicing with him! Teach him the proper way to greet people....put him into situations where he has to respond & really observe his behavior. & yes, children can be wild & crazy & very vocal at home......& completely shutdown in public. By making your own observations in public, then you'll be better prepared to make this decision. & one more thought: has he been thru the KG screening for your district? How did he score? That's one more thing to consider......

My son is the same. Very social, interactive, friendly and even loving with family and close friends, but rather detached in school. After lots of encouraging he now greets the teachers (with his voice) and his classmates or adult strangers (waving his little hand). Once he told me he doesn't want strangers to hear his voice and that he feels shy. Oh well, I still get upset when he doesn't follow through with manners but at least I have come to accept that he takes his own time to let people in his "space" and there is absolutely nothing wrong with him, it's just his way to get acquainted to the people around him....sloooowly!!!

Oh, I thought we were discussing the personality disorder. WHew! Hey, be glad, I though your little one was maybe torturing animals...
You know, for me, I really just don't subscribe to the whole "every kid needs to be a social butterfly, or something needs 'fixed' " school of thought.
If he were as loud and social as he his at home, I bet that would be a 'problem' too. Honestly, I wouldn't make an issue out of it. I think that with all the wacky things going on with kids these days, perhaps you should be glad, as becoming friends with the wrong crowd later in life can be catastrophic. Well, if mentally, he's already up to speed with the preschool curriculum, I don't see what making him do it another year will be good for, minus him getting bored. Plus, shouldn't he be with the kids he's already used to seeing and comfortable around?

It's a comfortability thing. I was extremely shy at school, but loud and talkative at home and with my family. My mother would take me to play grounds, play groups, sunday school,etc. It helped me begin to feel comfortable with other people, kids, surroundings( especially when my parents weren't around). I think he will adjust fine. Is he performing well/developing normal for his age? If so, I wouldn't worry to much. I turned out fine, and so will your son! :) Good luck to you.

What do they do to encourage him greeting them? At DS's Montessori, the children make eye contact with the teacher, shake hands and say hello (or goodbye as appropriate) in an audible voice. This can be learned. We also taught DS to simply say - 'hello, my name is ( ), would you like to play?'. Sometimes new kids say yes and sometimes they say know, but they don't all automatically know how to start a conversation. Does he interact with his classmates beyond not making an initial greeting. If he is simply shy when he first sees someone, I do not see this as a reason not to go to kindergarten. After all, he may be shy around new people (or people he hasn't seen in a little while) for years.

That's not "anti-social." That's called being shy. You can get him more practice being social with play dates and encouraging him to play with kids in the neighborhood and at the park. I'm not really sure I'd keep him out of kindergarten for something like this if he's on target with everything else. This is part of what kindergarten is for.

The teachers should be helping him to gain confidence in the classroom since he is a one-on-one person. She should not judge him based on the standards of the other "sociable" children, but slowly work with him, put him with a class mate who is more sociable and just accept him for what he is without the pressure of making shy look like a disease!

Seriously? I have never heard a preschool teacher recommend another year of preschool b/c a kid doesn't say hi to her. If anything, I've heard the oppposite - that the teacher tried all year long to get the kid to greet her w/different and creative ways.

Now, if his being quiet was getting in the way of him doing his work, I would be concerned. I knew a little boy who would just sit there and not ask for a pencil b/c he was too shy, and the teacher finally had to discipline him (she sent a note home) for not doing what he needed to do (raise his hand and ask for a new pencil) and for not completing his work.

Don't force your son to do anything he isn't comfortable with or else he'll hate going to school and hate being around others. Different kids need different timeframes to feel comfortable around people. Now, if he was a teenager or adult and never greeted someone when he walked into a room, that's a different story bc I believe people need to start being polite at some point.