5 Year Old Always Angry

My suggestion is to talk with the child. There are people who will tell you that children do not know why they are sad or angry etc. but it has been my experience that many children do have some ideas about thier feelings. I would tell him that I am worried about him and really want to help feel better. He may have some answers and then you can move from there. I always ask children what I can do to help. Tell me what I can do to help you feel better.As younger siblings grow there may be some jealousy going on or the fact that he is away from you all day may be causing him grief. I would not suggest what I thnk it is but let him try to tell you.

Therapy...? 1st of all... he's only 5. Why handwriting is even an issue at 5 is beyond me... and all day kindergarden IS too long for a 5 year old. They need more naps. He's probably really tired. That being said... My middle nephew was so angry and agressive as a child that when he was 3 my sister cried when she found out she was pregnant with #3. They had him tested to see if he was Hyperkynetic (ADHD) - but he wasn't. We tried everything. Finally, he was taken to a nutritionist who put him on a very strict hypoglycemic diet. No sugar, no white carbs, no chemical preservatives... He was a different kid within a few days! My sister would get whole grain cookies sweetened with fruit juice at the health food store and got a beadmaker and made bread because the health food store breads were so expensive. Any kind of carb always had to be taken with some sort of protien. (Ex: Everytime he had one of the cookies he had to eat a few nuts - luckily he loved Pistachios.) She always made sure that his teachers had his special snacks and always kept stuff around that he could eat. It was a hassle but it was worth it! Meanwhile - school just started - he's only 5 and going to an all-day kindergarden. That's a lot of adjusting for a grown-up - let alone a small child. He may just be tired and cranky. Watch his diet and make sure he gets to bed early so he gets plenty of rest. Don't make him grow-up any faster than he has to...;-)... Trust me, you'll miss these days.

I also think you should consider his blood surgar, but you might also want to consider his diet in general. Both my brother and I had allergeries to artifical dyes and perservatives in food and medicine as children, which would cause us to act horrible. Maybe start keeping a diary of foods he eats, and his behavior for the day.
Here is a link with some good information
http://borntoexplore.org/allergies.htm

Here is my personal experience with an angry 5 year old. The problem we found out eventually was stress! School was very stressful for my oldest boy. He made friends, was an A-B student, and all the teachers adored him. He was well-behaved and polite, but he was distressed over many little things. Others were picked on and he felt bad for them. He struggled with coloring and handwriting--he wasn't as "good" as the girls in his class. (He is a bit of a perfectionist--normal for an oldest child.) Many, many little things would build up over the long day (which he too felt was too long) and with no real "down-time" he was an emotional volcano by the time he walked through the front door.
We also found out that he has a very common, very undiagnosed sight problem that was adding to his troubles. But that aside, our solution was homeschooling and it has made a WORLD of difference. He is now a 5th grader and loves school about as much as any 10 year old boy. Loves to read and is interested in learning, but no longer the angry child he was 5 years ago.
Good luck and I hope you find an answer that works for you and your family. Any questions/comments, feel free to email me at ____@____.com

Contact your school and request and evaluation. It's free so you have nothing to lose. Tell them your concerns and he'll meet with the school psychologist and other professionals who might need to be involved and figure out if there's anything wrong or what. It might be anxiety, it might be bipolar, it might just a by a typical 5 year old frustrated at school and not dealing well with having 2 younger siblings. Who knows. They can help point you in the right direction.

I read some of the other responses and they are all good. I also have a suggestion, he may have a blood sugar problem. You say he wakes up in a mood, quite possibly he could have low blood sugar? I would talk to your pediatrician and have them do a blood test to check for whatever they can, up to and including diabetes. Don't let your doctor blow you off either. You are concerned, the teacher is concerned, then you have to be confident that there is something going on. Go to a new doctor if yours won't pay attention to it, too.
Also, he is at the age where he is learning or needs to learn to voice his emotions. Some kids get whiny, some cry at the drop of a hat, but some get angry with the frustration of having emotions that they haven't learned to cope with yet. It's a developmental stage that you can help him with, if this is the case. It sounds lame, but talk him through it.
Last, I can't believe they are putting that much pressure on handwriting. I guess, as readers, we would have to see writing samples to be a better judge of that situation. Most kids I know have crappy handwriting until....shoot, my husband STILL has horrible handwriting!! Good luck.

Hi Krista!

I can relate to your problem. I too have a 5 year old in kindergarten that is super moody and angry now as well. I was a former teacher before I had kids so I have dealt with both sides of the situation. I truly think that the kids spend so much effort and energy on being good at school, that they come home mentally and emotionally exhausted. Their little bodies are not totally ready to be gone for such a long day. It is when they return to the safety of a loving home, they can finally decompress so to speak. I believe that the kids are still adjusting to a new school routine and school day. From a teacher's point of view it takes a good 9 weeks at least for the kids to be in a solid routine. I would say, continue to nuture and support your son and he will eventually adjust. Hopefully then the moodiness and anger will subside. Good luck!

How frustrating for you. It is so hard to be doing all the right things and not end up with the desired result.
Is he in ALL day Kdg? Is it an option to do half days or part-time (3 days per week) You may have to "fight" for it! The state of Ohio requires (for the time being) the kindergarteners have 12 1/2 hours of kdg per week. A three day program is 15 hours, and a half day is about 13.
All day everyday kindergarten is too much for most 5 year olds. You are especially feeling the affects since the school year has begun? I am not saying it is the whole issue, but it is surely contributing. He may need more sleep/naps and more time at home with you.
Maybe you can speak with your principal and come up with a good plan.
After jumping through many hoops, we kept our kindergartener on a part-time schedule despite our district swithching to ALL day everyday programs. I think I had a happier boy because of it. He is now in 1st grade and well adjusted.
Good Luck

I think you have lot of good suggestions here. I would talk to your pediatrican and rule out some medical issues. You say he has speech issues. DOes he also get frustrated trying to get his point across or be understood. I had a frustrated little boy because he had a hard time talking. He has a speech and language disorder that was diagnosed by s neurologist. We were able to get him a lot of serives to help him. He is a very happy 11 year old today. He is definitely not a chatter box but he has good friends and is very bright and creative.

I would get your son into counciling of some sort and get to the bottom of his anger. 5 year old little boys should be Happy and care free. Does he have any limitations like being over weight or a speech problem or maybe smaller/ or larger than the other children ?
Does he act out?

I don't know if your son is in half day or all day but the amount of work they do at school and the little bit of extra stress he goes through with his writing struggles is a lot on him. He is probably a little more tired and frusterated than he was last year. When we get tired and frusterated and stressed, we tend to take it out on someone or something. Teaching him a proper way to deal with his stress instead of yelling at you is what you need to do.
That being said, my son is in OT for fine motor skill issues--and handwriting and cutting is how it comes out in school. He also has a very hard time concentrating at school for reasons we have not quit pinned down yet. He had a VERY VERY long year last year in kindergarten. We started in school social group and one on one work with the psycologist to help him deal with his anxiety and stress.
He would take naps after school last year, but only when I put himin the car with music on to relaxe him when we had to go somewhere (in a matter of 5 minutes he would be asleep) or if I layed down with him. He started the year sleeping 10 hours at night, and by the end of the year it was 12 hours at night, by his request. When he got more sleep, he was much happier. He too always wanted to go back to preschool.
As far as this year, we are LOVING first grade. He is well adjusted. He still has hard days, he's still in OT and sees a psycologist inside and outside of school but the outpatient is going to be stopped the end of the month! The maturatity level is absolutely amazing. So, hang in there, help him get a little bit of extra sleep and find some relaxing skills to teach him to help him relaxe through the school day. Above all TALK WITH THE TEACHER! They are there to teach the child--and that includes teaching the child to LOVE school!

I think seeking therapy is probably a good idea. If your child has always been moody, well, then maybe that's just who he is. But if it's not, early intervention is a good idea. And well-adjusted 5-year-olds may feel frustrated, but it's unusual for them to be truly angry on a regular basis. Plus, sometimes just talking things out can help - maybe a therapist can find out what makes him angry sometimes.

However, please don't judge your son by his handwriting, especially in kindergarten, and don't let his teachers do so, either. I have always had sloppy handwriting. All of my elementary-school teachers were concerned (it was the only subject I repeatedly failed), and tried to adjust how I held a pencil, had me tested for learning disabilities, made me do extra writing practice, etc. My parents allowed it because they thought my teachers might know best. Guess what? I just make my letters that way, and it hasn't interfered with my life since 5th grade! Luckily, I was allowed to type my Masters thesis. ^_^

It could just be his way of getting to you. He is very young and kindergarten can be stressful for a 5 yr old. My first son went at age 5 but had to repeat due to not being ready for the work. He was very smart, just didn't want to do all the papers. And with your son having 2 younger kids to compete with, he may just get what he wants easier when he is mad or unhappy.
Talk to his teacher to see what she thinks.

hi Krista...i know this may sound crazy, but my 5 yr old, i would also have stated as an angry lil boy. I think some of it has to do with him having 2 teenage brothers, they treat him like he should be 12 instead of 5, so that is hard and frustrating for him, and also we live in an area with no other children for him to play with. 1: sign him up for a sport ( i chose wrestling) it will get him with kids his own age to tumble around with, lets out alil energy, and its not so structured and long like school. Yes all day kindergarten is WAY too long for 5 yr olds, and it is not playtime at kindergarten like is was for me and you when we were in school. 2:really watch what he eats. this is where i made my biggest improvement on my lil guy. i took away his Lil debbie cakes. And i have now also ( still in prosess) of eliminating his choc milk when he wakes up..His mood and behavior have greatly improved! i truly do feel for you, and know it can be scarey, and frustrating, and yes just plain make you sad. Good luck and God Bless

Hi Krista I am sure this is stressing you out because we all want the best for our children. My opinion is to seek help first at his Doctors then I would take him to a psychologist. It is my own opinion that everyone could use some counseling at times. It is better to get him checked out now instead of waiting another year when he may be feeling worse. As a doctor told me one time don't wait until you are feeling really bad it only takes that much longer to feel better. Good Luck and also pray a lot.

Krista,

You have two causes for concern, and I say this not to scare you, but there is a very strong probablitly that there are more issues that you have yet to recognize and could very well respond to early intervention. I would suggest that you get a developmental evaluation from a Developmental Pediatrician (not your regular pediatrician) who you can find at Children's Hospitals.

OT issues are very often the first hard "sign" that parents notice, and if you focus just on this you will likely miss issues that can be addressed now with much more success than if you wait. You have a very common presentation.

Don't guess. Find out for certain that you are not missing anything else with a full Developmental Evaluation while you can get the earliest therapy you can, for OT, for anger (or aggitation) or what ever else you may find. Time is free, and it is his best friend right now.

M.