5 Week Old Cant Sleep

Updated on January 31, 2007
L.G. asks from Chicago, IL
15 answers

i have a 5 week old daughter and she doesnt like to go to sleep unless she is held or sleeping on me. i have read a few other questions like mine and some of the answers were trying to teach her how to sleep by letting her cry a little and get used to her crib. dont always pick her up and hold her when she cries. my question is if she is too young to let her cry and teach herself how to fall asleep? she falls asleep while breast feeding a lot and i try to keep waking her up to finish. i then put her in the crib but she only last a few minutes then starts crying. i walk her all night in my arms to keep her sleeping but then i am dead tired. should i start letting her cry for 20-30 minutes then go in her room to settle her down? how do i get her to sleep on her own?

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J.P.

answers from Chicago on

YES, She is WAY to young to cry it out!! You cannot spoil a newborn. For the first 3 months of my son's life we rocked, nursed, sung, snuggled, co-slept, until my son was asleep. I did not start working on crib sleeping, at night at 3 months, and for daytime naps at 4-5 months. Some suggestions to help you get some sleep: you can co-sleep (which is what we did) and you just roll over nurse and you both can fall back into a peaceful slumber OR you can put a bassinet in the room next to your bed. We did a mixture of both. I usually started the night with him in the bassinet and by the 2nd feeding he slept with us. My best advice is to do what your instinct tells you! If your little one cries and you want to pick her up just do it! At this age she won't understand that you want her to get used to the crib. I am just now letting my son cry a bit before naps/bedtime and he is 10 months. But at this age he understands that this routine means bedtime or naptime. And for your last few sentences please, please do not let your newborn cry that long...she wouldn't understand why you are doing it. I personally, others may disagree, don't think she is old enough to put her self to sleep on her own or self-soothe. Congratulations on your new little one and enjoy this cuddly time.....it doesn't last long!! I hope you find the advice that fits your families needs!!

1 mom found this helpful
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K.

answers from Chicago on

Hi L.
5 weeks old is way too young to "sleep train" your daughter. Most people recommend starting this around 12-16 weeks, but no earlier. Babies don't start forming perminant sleep habits until they're around 3-4 months old, so at this point do whatever you have to to get some sleep for yourself. Don't forget that she is new in the world and it's a big scary place. Mom, and sucking, are the only comfort she knows right now. If you haven't tried it yet, try a pacifier. My breastfed son liked the Soothie brand. Also make sure you're swaddling her tightly. Often babies this age will kick themselves awake.

If you're not doing it already, make sure she's sleeping in your room with you. Doesn't need to be in your bed - we used a "co-sleeper" with my son - basically a crib that attached to the side of the bed so that I could easily touch him to comfort him. Often simply putting your hand on her chest as she's sleeping will be enough to reassure her that she is not alone. With a cosleeper you can be mostly asleep and just throw your arm out to touch her, which is nice.

If you think she's waking because she's hungry, try and keep her awake for longer when you feed her. Put your finger in her ear, stroke her chin, run your fingernails along the bottoms of her feet, undress her, change her diaper, and a last resort is a cool damp washcloth on the chest or back. But if she is waking and is not hungry, don't worry about this. Just sing a song to her, talk to her, put your hand on her, and let her know you're there.

This will get better soon. I PROMISE.

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A.G.

answers from Chicago on

You've gotten tons of great advice already. Definitely try co-sleeping and feel confident that she is too young to become spoiled by your constant presence. She is biologically wired to need you close by, especially when sleeping.
A suggestion to make daytime napping easier would be to try wearing her close to you in a sling. Many babies can fall asleep easily while close to mama, comforted by the motion of you going about your day. This can help baby learn to sleep without nursing, too.

Best of luck to you!

A.

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C.C.

answers from Chicago on

I had the same problem with my daughter when she was an infant (she's 11 months now). Have you tried raising the temperature in her room? I know it's hard to keep them warm with snug fitting pj's and no blanket for them to snuggle. We bought an additional radiator heater (the safe type) and it really helped. Good luck!

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R.F.

answers from Chicago on

Hey there!!!! i also have a 5 wk old who is doing the SAME thing!!! Anyway - i do not have any answers but just figured i would jump in and say thanks to all the responses - i feel much better about co sleeping and nursing all night (thats what ive been doing) i will look into getting a snuggle nest. L., it would be cool to connect and swap stories and help each other out - let me know if youd like to stay in touch - we have babies the same age - my daughter was born on 12/20!

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N.R.

answers from Chicago on

Your daughter is absolutely too young to cry it out. Infants at this stage need to be held, rocked, nursed, loved etc...you cannot spoil her! Perhaps a swing would work? I know quite a few people who have let their newborns sleep all night in the swing.
Good Luck

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M.P.

answers from Chicago on

Congratulations! I have a 10 month old who is finally getting used to her crib. 5 weeks is really young. THere is nothing wrong with her for wanting to be held by you. She needs it. She's way too young to let her cry it out. I still don't like it at 10 months old.
Have you tried a co-sleeper? I didn't use one but I've heard good things about it. That way they are in bed with you but you still have your own space.
Good luck

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L.S.

answers from Chicago on

My baby did the same thing. I cheated. I bought a swing, the kind that both swings left to right, and front to back. I put her into the swing, when it was swinging left to right and she would swing all night. I went through four D batteries ever week. Every time I went to the store, I bought more because I was not going to be surprised with a dead battery at 4 am. I let her swing until she was 6 months old! 6 months old! I still cannot believe it. I was so worried about the transition to the crib, but it was nothing. It was more of a problem for me. I too breast fed and she would fall asleep on my breast. I then would put her in the swing and she would sleep through the night. I think she was sleeping through the night at around 5 weeks. Thanks to the fisher price aquarium swing. It was the best! I also want to add that I put the swing next to my bed. I was too paranoid to have her in the swing in another room.

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P.D.

answers from Chicago on

L.:

Jennifer made some great suggestions... infants do not get "spoiled" by our meeting their needs. They learn that they have a powerful voice and can effect a change.

All children outgrow the need to sleep with their parents...

Interestingly we rush to get them to sleep on their own and can't wait to have a significant other to sleep with....

Many cultures promote cooperation not separation as the American culture does.

Follow your instincts... do what feels right for you.

P., RLC, IBCLC
Pres. Lactation Support Group, Inc
www. lactationsupportgroup.com

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K.C.

answers from Chicago on

Looks like you've gotten some great advice already, but I just wanted to add that you may not need to wake your baby up to "finish" breastfeeding. Sometimes they just want to suckle and go to sleep. Also, try not to feel pressure to schedule feedings for your bf infant, she should still be nursing on demand (or on cue). Good luck with sleeping better and closer with your baby!

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J.N.

answers from San Francisco on

I had the same issue with my daughter who is now almost 3 months old. At 3 weeks, she started sleeping very badly in her bassinet by our bed. I felt very uncomfotable about co-sleeping because our bed is very soft, but it seemed the only way that she would sleep was in our bed. We also got the advice to swaddle her, with her arms in if she likes it, or out if she seems to mind. That really helped! We also bought a thing called Snuggle Nest to put in our bed to make co-sleeping possible. Since then she's been sleeping 6-7 hours in a row!
Good luck!

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S.R.

answers from Chicago on

Lots of great suggestions posted here. One thing I would add is that when my first daughter was born I really thought that if I didn't get her to fall asleep the "right" way, I would be setting myself up for having a child that would never sleep without a huge struggle. Turns out, whether it be swings, rocking, swaddling, etc. there really is no wrong way. The one thing that helped me most was swadding (they now have great blankets with velcro - babies really love to be swaddled and it keeps them from startling themselves awake). Also, with my second daughter, I began putting her to bed at night drowsy but awake with a pacifier from amost day one and although I don't think it made her sleep through the night that much faster, it meant that she later knew how to put herself to sleep and I never had to let her cry it out.

On the subject of sleep training, one thing that I realized that no one had told me since most of the other mommies in playgroup were doing it, was that you DON'T HAVE TO ever let your baby cry it out. They will eventually sleep through the night. Crying it out very well may help them learn to do so sooner than they will learn on their own (closer to 12 months of age when the brain's sleep paterns mature), but it is not obligatory. I don't judge other parents that choose that route - it just wasn't for me personally. I felt like despite the sleep deprivation, I really truly didn't mind waking up with my babies and holding, nursing and rocking them back to sleep. Best of luck!

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B.

answers from Chicago on

L.,

As others have responded, your daughter is too young to cry it out. Some things we did include swaddling, which helps to create a contained environment that they have been used to for 40 some weeks, and we also rocked our son to sleep in his bouncy chair (so much so that it broke!. Can you and your partner take turns with rocking her? Congratulations on your daughter, and also, take care of yourself, call friends for support -- those early months can be really hard. Hang in there -- i'm never sure that this is any consolation, but my son was 13 months before he slept on a regular basis, but he's been a great sleeper since then.

B.

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Y.H.

answers from Chicago on

L. - don't worry, it will get better before you know it!

Here's one suggestion - try "wearing" your baby throughout the day in a sling or baby bjorn. In my experience, it kept my baby calmer during the day and made him relax easier at night. In tribal cultures where the women wear their babies all day long - there is no such thing as colic and babies hardly cry.

Your baby is way too young and fragile to try any sort of "crying it out." Seek out help from friends and family so you can get a few hours of sleep here and there - all newborns are high maintenance and demand constant holding and attention.

I know it's easier said than done - but try to cherish every moment holding your little one. My baby is already 7 months old, sitting up and "too big" already to sleep in my arms - he has to lay down in his crib to fall asleep. During the first 3 months, he had to fall asleep in my arms or he wouldn't sleep and then he just grew out of it - and now I miss it!

best of luck!

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R.H.

answers from Chicago on

5 weeks is still so little. I think it is way too young to let her cry it out. Have you tried a pacifier at all? My little guy who is now 4 1/2 months, always feel asleep while breastfeeding. I would just put him down then at night in the bassinet . He didn't take to a pacifier right away but now he likes for when he goes to sleep and that's the only time he gets it. During the day he would only take naps if he was held or in his swing. He recently is able to take most of his naps in his pack-n'-play. I am in a moms group and the census from them is that there should only be a night light on & no music. It is definitely important to have a routine. When your baby wakes up try going into the room so the she knows you are there and just put your hand on her. My pediatrician said that you can not spoil a baby when they are under 8 weeks old. Up until that time they are still learning that you are going to be there for them. You could also try having your husband rock her to sleep and then put her down. I have heard that works. But it is important that you get sleep. It makes a world of difference. I hope some of this might help. Good luck.

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