Hello! I'm new to Mamasource and have read many requests/responses about infant sleep. My daughter's problem is with naptime. I know she is tired when I take her to her crib for a nap, but she just cries and cries - sometimes for more than an hour! I go to check on her every ten minutes or so and when I go in to pat her and put her pacifier back in her mouth, she stops crying, looks at me, and smiles! Then I leave and she starts wailing again. When I can't stand the crying anymore (or if she has cried for an hour), I will just pick her up and rock her to sleep (which only works sometimes) or go lay down with her in my bed and she goes right to sleep. She has absolutely no problems going to sleep at night without rocking or laying down with me (though she is not sleeping through the night yet). Anyway, if anyone has any suggestions for how to make naptime easier, i'd appreciate it!
Hi everyone! Thanks so much for your helpful responses! So many differing opinions and ideas, but all good. I decided I like the no-tears method rather than CIO techniques for my daughter. I did try CIO but it just didn't seem to work for her. I have been more consistent now with nap times (i.e. routine), which I think was part of the problem. She seems to be doing better. Feeding her rice cereal soon before she naps seems to help, too. I'll keep trying different things until she becomes a great napper! Thanks again for all your advice!
hello K.,
My little girl who is now 6 and 1/2 mos. old used to have the same problem. She was overtired. So I started putting her down earlier than her usual time for naps and she started taking naps no problem. I've read it's harder to get an overtired baby to sleep than one who is well rested. Give it a try. Hope it works!
Hi, K.,
I had difficulty at first transitioning my son to his crib. He would do the same thing and I would feel like he "got" me the second he started smiling when I walked in the room. Try to keep the routine the same every time. Do you read a book or sing before bedtime? Try doing that before her naps. It's her clue that it's time for sleep. Wait to go in her room for 20 minutes after she's been crying. It's hard, I know. I had to sit on my hands & turn the monitor down (although I could still hear my son crying). Try not to have eye contact or say anything. You're just going in her room to let her know that you're there & she's safe. Try to lengthen the amount of time you wait to go in each time. It took my son a week (much longer than the three days the doctors always tell you) to get in the habit of going to sleep on his own (even for naps). But in the end, they are much happier when they get some good rest.
Hi K.,
The best advice I can give you, is BE CONSISTENT!! Easier said than done I realize. When you go back in her room when she is crying, I would not say anything, just give her her pacifier, lay her back down and walk out again. Do not give in and pick her up. I know that is hard to do, when you feel like crying yourself, but otherwise she will learn that if she crys she will get her way. Trust me its a lot easier to stop that now that when she gets older. I learned that the hard way!!! I hope that helps at least a little.
L.
It is going to be the hardest thing to do... but you cannot go in there to check on your babe. She knows that she just has to hold out until you come in there...
You could begin a routine with her of books and rocking until her eyes begin to get heavy... play soft sleepy music and place her in her crib.
It is so hard... I am going through it right now at night with my nine month old. ugh
good luck!!!
Maybe give her a bottle or a little cereal before she naps. Maybe if she has a full belly she'll be happier to take a nap. Then just be consistant. She knows (yes I know she's only 5 months old, but they learn fast) what will get you back in the room. Turn out the lights and make her room dark and put her down and don't go back in. When nap time is "over" if she isn't asleep, oh well, get her up. If she just fell asleep, do the same. Eventually she'll realize that it is rest time, but you'll be back. It may take a couple of days but it will come. Try the bottle and/or cereal first, but be consistant. Good luck.
As a mother who babies her son more than necessary it pains me to say it but your daughter has you pegged. Try to darken the room and give her everything she needs then let her be. She will cry herself to sleep pretty quickly once she finds out you are not coming back every ten minutes. She is showing you how pleased she is with getting her way when she smiles at you :) I have been in these situations again and again with my 3 year old. Sometimes it's so hard to be tough when your child is the light of your life and they grow up so fast, but I've found if I make a firm stand we are both happier in the end. When I did this with my son I literally had to sit in front of the clock with tears running down my face forcing myself to wait longer and longer each time before going to him. Best of luck!!
I personally don't agree with letting a baby cry for that long, so I would recommend wearing her in a sling or something of that sort. What works for my son, who is also five months, is putting him in his stroller and pushing him around the house. Babies aren't really meant to sleep alone yet. In time, they will, but for now I would enjoy her because she is only a baby once. Don't try to make her grow up too fast. Good luck.
Letting my daughter (who is now 2 and LOVES to sleep- she asks for her nap everyday) cry it out was the best thing we ever did. Seriously! I like the advice the first two ladies gave. You just can't make eye contact and eventually she'll realize that you're not going to give in. It may take longer than an hour but it won't be long after she'll go to sleep. Kids are smart! They know what will get them picked up! Just remember that YOU are the parent, not her, and she has to do what YOU say- not the other way around. She entered YOUR world, not you into hers. Keep up the good work! It will pay off! Have you heard of BabyWise? It's a fantastic book and helped us get on a great nap/sleep schedule and had Emme sleeping through at 6 weeks...I highly recommend it.
My daughter who is now almost 3 hardly ever took a nap during her first year of life. She usually takes at least 2 hours for her nap.
Anyway, before she was a year old I needed to quiet the entire house. We joked about knocking on the neighbors doors and telling them to muffle their sneezes because it would wake her up. Mostly because if I would sneeze (even if I covered my face with a pillow), she'd wake up screaming 2 seconds later.
I seriously turned everything off (phone, tv, etc)before putting her in the crib and sneak down to the basement and iron clothes, though, she'd usually wake after only 30 minutes. The first few weeks, she'd cry forever. I just let her cry and after about 20 minutes of her being quiet, if she cried again, I'd go back in to get her. Made me feel heartless, but I needed that time to relax and regroup.
With all the trouble with naps....she is and has always been a wonderful sleeper at night. Started sleeping through the night around 6 weeks old.
You might try feeding her with cereal added, change her while wiping her down really good & rubbing her with a lotion/oil (like a massage) before you lay her down to sleep & the only difference at night is you'll be bathing her after she eats with cereal added) & repeating the rub down process. Good luck to you & God Bless!
My 5 month old granddaughter is going through the same thing. After 20 to 30 minutes of crying my daughter will get her up and let her play longer and then she's ready for her nap. I think it's matter of extending their awake time.
D.- mom of 9
Well, I'm not certain if you have already tried these things, but here are a few suggestions. Blackout shades, no toys in bed, sound machine. Do you follow the exact same routine for nap time as for bed time? What time are you putting her down for naps? Is she still on 2 naps a day? Maybe she is actually overtired. Just some thoughts...good luck!
Hi K.-
Unfortunately I don't have any advice, just wanted to say we have the same issue with our 14 mo son but for all sleep, so don't feel so bad! He sleeps/naps best either being held or sleeping with us, and he always needs rocked to sleep, even at daycare! Yes, he is quite spoiled :), but we waited to long to have him that I (mostly) enjoy holding him and sleeping with him, so it's good both ways. I was struggling with it and didn't want to ferberize him because I hate him crying, and one of the other mamas wrote me a great response and now I just enjoy this, he sleeps better and we get more rest (most of the time), and I know soon he'll be moving past this phase and getting too big, so I don't want to really miss it! Anyhow, don't get too stressed about it! Hope this helps a little!
M.
Our 8 month old is the same way and has been since about that age. For her I think it's that she just doesn't want to miss anything! At night, she sleeps fine but I think that's because she knows we are sleeping, too, but during the day she can see around her room and doesn't want to not be busy. We put a blanket over the window to help block more of the light and that's helped a little, but other than that, no advice as we have a similar issue. :)
I have a 5 month old daughter also. It sounds like seperation anxiety. Mine will do that for a bit. She is actually starting to teeth. And since she's teething her gums are hurting and she'll make sounds and sometimes cry. When i go in there after she starts crying she'll look at me and then stop. I usually just calmly put her baby doll that's her favorite, next to her and then cover her with a blanket. Sometimes though if i see it's her gums bothering her i will giver her a teether. It seems to calm her down. Do you see indentions in her bottom gums where her teeth will be coming through? Your daughter might be teething and just might need the little extra comfort.
I don't really have the problem of my daughter taking naps. Mine will take a 3 hour nap during the day, plus 2 other one hour naps(one after her first bottle in the morning and the other after about 5ish.)Then her bedtime is between 7 and 8 at night. and then she sleeps 12 hours.
Anyway, have you started infant cereal yet? If you haven't try mixing with formula/breast milk. She just may need something else in her tummy to satisfy her for her nap.
Hope this helps. Good luck.
read "baby wise" & follow it to a tee. she's got you trained now & it'll be a real challenge for you to break YOU from this cycle, as well as her. but give it a try & let "baby wise" advice help you.
I'm a mother of 5 and a firm believer in attachment parenting. A couple of my kids went down for naps OK but usually naptime happened in somebody's arms until they were a little older. I've seen some writing about attachment parenting (maybe Dr Sears) that refers to pregnancy being 18 months long instead of 9. 9 inside you, 9 outside, but all still right there with you. They've got so many awesome babywearing setups on the market now that it's a lot easier to wear your baby & go about your normal day that it used to be.
It's interesting that your little one only gives you trouble with naptime & not bedtime. But I wouldn't worry about trying to get the nap to happen in her crib until she's at least past the 9 month mark that the attachment parenting experts talk about. Children end up more emotionally & psychologically balanced & less needy when you keep them physically attached to you during the first 9 months for sure.
Or since this is your only one, just nap with her! (On the couch, in a recliner, or in your bed.) That's a luxury that gets a little harder to figure out with multiple little ones of various ages, but with only 1 5mo old, go for it!
This isn't a fight worth wearing yourself out over. You'll both be much happier if you just give her what she wants here, which is obviously simply you.
