5 Month Old Not Sleeping for Long Stretch at Night

I am in the same boat and have been told that this is due to breastfeeding. I have been told that this will change as they get older but nothing is different.

I have a 8 month old who is still not sleeping through the night either! He will for 3-4 days.. and then he goes back to waking up in the middle of the night for a drink. it's perfectly nommal. My daughter didn't sleep through the night until she was over a year old! I'm a momma that can go on little to no sleep! Thank the Lord! because they get up at 5 a.m.!!

E. Beaumont
Got a toothache? Save $$ with Ameriplan
EveryoneBenefits.com/Beaumont

I just finished reading Happiest Baby on the Block by Harvey Karp. (I could have saved myself some time by just checking out the DVD.) I'll save YOU some time by letting you know that the book is mainly geared towards infants who are younger than 3 mos. old, which Dr. Karp calls the 4th trimester: a time when the baby needs you to mimic the womb because he was really too young to be born. However, Dr. Karp has recommended to parents with children as old as your little one that the swaddling is still important to help them get to sleep. If you're not using this method now, you may want to tightly wrap your little one (tight enough so he can't wiggle out....use duct tape if you have to) and see if he sleeps longer at night. Don't be surprised if he resists it at first. He should come to love it after a few nights.

FYI, besides swaddling, Dr. Karp recommends 1)using white noise (to mimic the very loud sound of blood vessels in the womb), 2)laying a baby on its side or stomach (to calm the baby.....sleeping should be done on the back according to Karp) which helps take away the Moro reflex...the feeling of falling when on his/her back, 3) "swinging" or head bobbing which helps them feel all jiggly like they did in the womb (this especially works on the head since that's where the reflex is triggered), and 4)sucking (which is the one that you're doing now by breastfeeding) This sucking is really the icing on the cake. I agree with those who said that the baby needs to learn to fall asleep on his own. Remember, the above 4 tips are used to CALM a fussy baby (usually up to 3 mo. old). Hope this helps some!

We followed "On Becoming Babywise" pretty religously - our son slept 8 hours a night a 10 weeks and 12 hours at 5.5 months. I would highly recommend it. If your son is at daycare during the day, it might require seeing if the provider can accommodate some of the structure he recommends in the book. Good luck!

The new peditricians today (ones that just recently got out of college, especially ones that just got out of college and don't have any kids yet)are saying that kids shouldn't get solids until 6 months. But really in all reality every kid is different and you just have to know what's right for your child. They don't want you to put cereal in bottles anymore. Well I'm sure my mom did with me and I ended up fine. With my son he was eating a serving of rice or oatmeal in the morning and a serving of rice or oatmeal at night before he went to bed at that age. At five months I was also introducing him to fruits and vegetables. Also, when it's put into their mouth by spoon, especially if they have to gum/chew it that makes a difference it fools their mind into thinking they got more than if you just gave them extra formula or put cereal in their bottle. Sometime today I would try putting him in his high chair to get use to it. Then tomorrow sometime I would put a tablespoon of cereal in a bowl and then some formula (can't remember exactly how much). You want the first week of feedings with it to be pretty darn thin. So that he can just swallow and not worry about gagging. Also, the first couple weeks he might have trouble getting it all to go down the throat. What I mean by that is that his tongue (spelling?) might just naturally push the food back out a little. You got to remember they come into this world and they don't know how to do anything. There bodies don't know how to do anything. They got to learn everything! hehe. When all they've done is suck a bottle or breast for the first four, five, six months of their life they don't know how to eat from a spoon right away. Good luck!

Hi A. -

I would speak to your child's doctor. My 18 month old had some of the same problems and now she has medicine for acid reflux.

Good Luck!
K.

A.,
Sorry to hear you aren't getting much sleep. My son woke up to nurse every 2 hours for the first year till we decided to night wean him. Your little one is too small for that, but we had to get really creative about me getting sleep on the weekends and I went to bed absurdly early to get a bit more sleep. Some kids just need that frequent nursing and sometimes kids want to make up being close to Mom especially if you've been gone at work all day. I know this probably doesn't seem very helpful. It's hard to function when you're so tired. The other thing that helped for us was sleeping with our son. I couldn't sleep while nursing but I got back to sleep so much faster. Some women actually can sleep through nursing and that feels like such a luxury when you are up every two hours.
Good luck!

Dear A.,

Iam a mom of 3! And a Daycare provider. I also have almost 5 month old who just started sleeping through the night. One thing is you should not give your baby cereal in a bottle you should only give cereal on a spoon. Ask your pediatrician. You may see your child develop ear infections or other problems. Try laying your child down semi-awake,full, and snuggled. If he wakes up play his music or turn on his mobile our doctor says that we have to train our children to fall asleep and stay asleep on there own. I reluctant at first tried it and it works he told me this on friday....He was sleeping through the night on sunday!!!

I HIGHLY recommend the book "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child" by Dr. Weissbluth. Both myself and several of my friends swear by it. And, you can quick-reference what you need for you and your son's sleep by looking at the age categories in the book, then looking at the "action plans for exhausted parents"...so you don't have to read the whole thing before you get some ideas!

first of all i want to stress that your child is NOT like any other child. your child is his own person, with his own personality and his own set of skills and weaknesses.

do not think that ALL other babies are sleeping through the night at this age. they are not. i dont think that ANY baby really sleeps through the night at this age. we just dont talk about it cuz we, for some reason, want others to THINK that they are the 'perfect child' - STOP this line of thinking in its tracks by knowing, they may sleep through the night, but at what cost? are they awake crying during the night but mom and dad have desensitised themselves so much that they dont even hear baby cry anymore? i have seen this in children of my friends IN PERSON, at way younger ages than your child is.

5 months is an ok time to start solids, as long as your son displays the signs of readiness. www.askdrsears.com has LOTS of info - i have been using the advice of dr sears and his family all along and my 18 month old son is the healthiest, happiest baby i know. when other kids are throwing their tempers and crying themselves to sleep, my son is calm, relaxed and actually goes to bed, on his own will, and goes right to sleep. attachment parenting it has been called, and it is the best thing ive ever done. if you want to talk to me more about this, please do! i will be willing to help you understand how it works, etc. its beautiful and wonderful and will help your child be happy, sensitive, empathetic, and connected in a wonderful, beautiful way. you are already doing an important job - an important part of attachment parenting - breastfeeding!! what a great gift to give to your child!! congratulations mom for sticking to your guns on that one.

what you need to know most of all, is that waking at night is normal, and should actually be seen as a good thing. as exhausting as it is, by your baby waking up at night, he is actually being naturally protected from serious problems, such as SIDS. the fact that he can rouse himself from sleep at night should help you to feel safer knowing that he isnt sleeping so deeply that something could happen to him. there isnt much known about SIDS, but there are so many factors, and one is being in such a deep sleep that even if they are being suffocated, they wont wake and turn away from or cry because of the cause of that suffocation.

also, as terribly exhausting as it is, you will NOT regret taking the extra time to make your son comfortable in security and love. have you considered co-sleeping? contrary to wide-spread belief, people in other countries who sleep with their children arent doing it for lack of money or whatever, they are doing it by choice. after all, if your child is in the other room, and danger comes to your home, (in whatever form, fire, burglery, tornado, etc) where will it be easiest to get to your children? when they are already in the room. in less developed countries, they sleep with their children because it is safer than separate. thats the way we should see it here.

cosleeping and breastfeeding at night is, according to dr sears, an extra safeguard for protecting against SIDS. the constant waking helps baby protect himself from being too deep in sleep. make any sense?

also, your son at 5 months could quite possibly be teething!! that is a HUGE waker in babies. try giving him some sort of teething remedy before you go to bed. i say you because im assuming he goes to bed before you. give him a dose of motrin, tylenol and/or a teething product like hylands (natural no side effects!) and it may help him sleep a longer stretch, at least until the pain starts in again. theres nothing that you can do besides that, teething will go away on its own.

ALSO, crawling and other developmental stages (turning over, walking etc) can cause night waking. its all a part of growing up, and developing and learning.

im really sorry that i cant say there is a true method to just get him to sleep solid nights. it probably wont happen. my son is 18 months and is finally sleeping until at least 6 am. finally. i spent lots of long hours exhausted too as i run a small day care in my home. my husband and i coslept with my son and still do when he wakes inconsolable at night, but like i said, he will run to the bedroom, get ready for bed, get laid down in his crib and he will go to sleep all on his own. his crib, and sleep, is not a scary thing! ! cry it out methods all lead to the same thing, kids who cry themselves to sleep because they dont know any other way. their beds are scary, lonely places. they dont know the loving sleep near mom and dad. its important, and doesnt grow dependent children, but safe, loved and independent children! no one said parenting was easy, and we must understand that parenting doesnt stop at 8 pm. it is 24 hours a day. even thought its exhausting, its rewarding to know that your child will be healthily connected to you and will be able to trust you to be there for his needs no matter what they are, or how inconvenient they are.

i will say, on a side note, not to put cereal in his bottles. if you want to give cereal, give it to him in a bowl mixed with breastmilk... as food should be given as food, and milk given as milk. in a couple months, you can start giving breastmilk, juice or water in a sippy to have an early start at transitioning off of the bottle. my son never used a bottle.... so it wasnt as hard for me, but i gave him that sippy at 7 months and he LOVED it. rice cereal doesnt have to be the first food you feed him either. its only important because of the iron content, and breastfed babies dont really have to worry about it until sometime after 6 months. pears are a good first food as they are supposed to be UNallergenic. peaches are also good, applesauce too. dont feel pigeon-holed into just rice cereal LOL. but do use it as the iron is important.

eating solids will not help him sleep through the night either. feeding too close to bedtime will actually wake him up more cuz you cant sleep when you are digesting! so remember that too. about an hour before bedtime is close enough for food.

if you have ANY questions, www.askdrsears.com is a good place to go, or you can ask me. its terribly difficult sometimes and terribly exhausting, but its so rewarding for our children to grow up and just naturally trust us, instead of rebelling.... if they naturally trust you at 1 year.. they will also naturally trust you at 15. it all builds and builds. you dont earn it, you make it. LOL.

dont feel like you have to use formula, for any reason. it isnt really going to help, and your breastmilk is good enough for your baby. dont let ANYONE tell you any different. it may seem to work on the surface, but at what cost. we wont always know. dont suppliment. you are fine! keep doing what you are doing! i NEVER used formula and my son was fine fine fine and didnt even get a COLD until he was 13 months old! so keep up the breastfeeding, you wont regret it!

i liked the 5 s's in happiest baby on the block. i first watched it when my son was 4 months old and it was a little late for the swaddling, but i cried my head off cuz that crying baby was my son! LOL. we are addicted to a white noise cd called 'for crying out loud' which has a recording of a vacuum cleaner on it. for 2 months we ran the vacuum all night in our bedroom to get our son to sleep before finding this cd. its a GREAT help. i burnt a cd with 8 tracks of just the vacuum so that we dont ruin the origional cd. LOL. its worked like a charm ever since.

put it this way. your son knows that its comfy to sleep near mom. hes been hearing, smelling, feeling you for 9 months in the womb. its only natural that he would want you after hes out! he wont take anything less than the origional! he wont take anything less that what he wants. determined, strong, emotionally connected... these are skills you want to encourage! do NOT cry it out - i dont believe this ever works. it only helps them to think that their cries arent important enough - which helps them to think that their communication isnt important enough, and that carries through their whole lives. you cant just turn around at 12 and tell them that their communication is important when you have shown in the past that its not.

when shouldnt expect our kids to do something that they just cant. sometimes that means sleeping through the night. i did whatever it took to get sleep at night, and that meant co-sleeping and night nursing. sometimes i wouldnt even wake up to nurse, i would do it in my sleep.

anyway, i have high amounts of respect and support to offer you. i have been through a child who wouldnt sleep on his own, and i believe that how i dealt with it made him the wonderful, trusting toddler he is today... again, any questions just ask!

A.,
I am a full time working mother of four. I say at this point you do what ever it takes it get some sleep. I had two infants that slept very nicely through the night right away and the other two need other sleep plans. Since you are nursing, it might be helpful to nurse in bed. I often nursed in bed and then we both fell back to sleep. I know that not everyone would agree with this plan, but it is your own survival we are talking about. I am not a heavy sleeper so this worked well for us. I cradled my one arm around the baby's head so I could feel for other movement in the bed (husband's). Once I stopped nursing, my child was able to sleep in their own bed for longer periods of time. My other child that had sleep issues caused me to sleep often in a recliner. The only way we could get her to sleep on on her own is if we put warm towels in the bed first and it would not provide for a long sleep period because once the towels got cold she would wake. I think she came out cold and just needed more warmth than she could provide on her own.

There are a lot of theories of what is right and wrong to do with your children. I think you have to decide what is right for your family and what you are willing to tolerate. What works for one family may not work for another. A long day at work is no fun for anyone that is sleep deprived and you can't enjoy your child as much as you would like to once you return home either.

I hope this helps.

I feel your pain! My first one ate every 2 hours on the hour until 4 months and then every 3-4 hours until he was almost 8 months. I didn't see you write that you are feeding your son solid foods now. That might be one idea. He can have rice cereal, baby oatmeal mixed with breast milk, etc. Try this at bedtime and go to bed the same time as him. This will be your best bet at a longer stretch of sleep.

Good Luck, I know how difficult it is!

Neither one of my girls slept through the night until I weaned them at 14 months, at which time they were both still getting up to nurse twice a night. One thing that I heard can help, is to try to stretch him out a little at a time by letting him fuss for 5- 10 minutes each time to see just how serious he is. Some babies are more snackers and that's just the way they are, but I promise it will get better eventually. Talk to your lactation consultant as well for some ideas.

Hi A.,
I mostly wanted to just say to hang in there and you are not alone! My son was waking up every hour when he was four months old. Half the time he just needed his pacifier back, the other half he wanted to nurse. I changed his bedtime routine so that nursing wasn't the last thing he did before going to bed (we added reading a couple books)and put him in his crib awake. We still had to let him cry himself to sleep some, but he did learn that he didn't need to nurse, or even be cuddled, to get to sleep. I was a nervous wreck that I was starving him and he'd hate me, but within 4 days, he was sleeping in 8 hour stretches and waking up happy. He obviously didn't REALLY need those middle of the night feedings. However, if you just can't let him cry then don't! It will be even mor emotional with the sleep deprivation. This may not be an option for you, but I eventually got so tired that I took a day off work, took my son into daycare, researched effective ways to get babies to sleep, and took a nap! Good luck and remember that someday you will sleep for more than a two hour stretch!

my son was the exact same way. he's now 10 months. i know it won't make you feel any better, but NOTHING we tried worked. solids didn't help. we tried a bit of crying it out and that was hell for all of us. i really think he's more stubborn than other babies. so we gave up and coslept all the time with him (i was cosleeping with him about 60% of the time before that). and slowly he started sleeping better. i'm guessing we get some 4 hour stretches in and though he wakes a few times a night, it's very short awakenings now. i feel like a new person getting even just a bit more sleep.

hang in there!

the book that helped me most was this one:

http://www.amazon.com/Parenting-Fussy-High-Need-Child-Kno...

it helped me just accept my son's sleeping for what it was and not fight it.

A.,

5 month olds can sleep a whole lot longer than that. Even 2-3 month olds can sleep 12 hour stretches at night without waking up. The question is, does your baby know how to put himself to sleep and back to sleep by himself, or does he rely on you to feed, rock or hold him in order to go to sleep? Until he learns to put himself to sleep at night and put himself back to sleep when he finishes a sleep cycle, he will be calling to you to do it for him. And it could take years. The earlier you train him, the better.

There are a lot of ways to do this. Feed him and put him in his crib drowsy, calm, but awake. Then leave. Because he is so old, this is going to take a while (2 weeks+). He will probably cry. You can go in every 10 minutes to calm him down or go in increasing increments. (5 minutes, then 10, then 15 then 20, etc.) Try not to pick him up unless he really is hysterical. The first night, be prepared to have him cry for 1 hour or more. But don't worry, it will get easier every night. As long as you are consistent, he will learn to put himself to sleep and stay asleep for 12 hours or more within a month.

Be careful not to let him fall asleep in the car or the swing, if he still uses one. You will have to start all over again in training him. Make sure he is on a regular schedule with feedings, morning and afternoon naptimes, and bedtimes.

FYI - If you plan to have more kids, you can start the "put yourself to sleep" method from the day they are born and they won't cry. Just nurse them, change their diaper to wake them back up, and lay them down to put themselves to sleep. They can go 4 hour stretches at night from the day they are born and 12 hours stretches from the time they are 8 weeks old. Very easy. No training, no tears.

Good luck,
S.

I have two solutions for you:

1. Take him into bed with you after the first time he wakes. Every time he wakes after, you just attach him to your breast and fall back asleep. You will still be waking up some, but you will not have to wake fully to do this. YES you will have to wean him from both the boob and bottle later on, but it is a small price to pay for consistent sleep now.

2. Rule out the possibility that he is waking because he needs to be swaddled. Some babies need to be wrapped snugly in order to sleep soundly. If your house is cool - especially in the summer when you air condition - put a cotton cap on his head and swaddle him in a receiving blanket when you put him down. If he is warm and snug he may sleep longer.

In countries all over the world, women swaddle their babies and sleep with them. These are the things that make mothering easier and babies happier. Our culture is trying to raise babies like adults - independent of others. Babies are not adults and cannot be independent... it's so simple!

Later on when you wean him from your bed, you will do it by laying down with him in his twin bed and snuggling him there as he falls asleep.

Think comfort for both of you ~ this is the way to a happy, sleepy baby/child.

I have no advice for you, only my unending sympathy. :) Both of my boys slept the way your child does, and although I got scads of advice, none of it worked--crying it out lasted hours and hours and hours (of screaming) which I was not willing, philosophically or emotionally, to deal with. We eventually (at 3 1/2) weaned our first very, very, very slowly (over a year) from the things he needed to sleep, and finally, then, we asked him to sleep through the night in his own bed and only to wake us if he really needed us. Anyway, after over four years of not ever sleeping through the night, I can tell you that a) I really believe there are some children who just don't sleep through the night and b) that there are some children who it takes much, much, much longer to teach to sleep than others. Our second is still a horrible sleeper, but we hope to have him sleeping through the night before 3 1/2 (he's 8 months now). Oh--and the one piece of advice here--I have found that the adage is true: sleep does beget sleep, so the better rested my kids are, the better they are inclined to sleep at night, with the notable exception of napping late into the afternoon. Good luck; you will get through it!!!

Hi A., this is a tough one I know. Your baby is capable of sleeping longer yet you don't want to let him cry it out because what if he really is hungry? My daughter did the same thing and I ended up letting her cry it out at 11 months of age - she was getting up every
1 1/2 to 2 hours. Looking back on it I can't believe I let it go on for so long! I think your son is enjoying that time with you and is dependent upon you to get back to sleep. You will probably have to take control of the situation. Like my daughter, your son probably won't do it on his own, unless you want to wait until he is three. That is how long it took for friends of mine to "wait it out" with both of their kids. That is just crazy!

Depending on your thoughts, try reading some of the books availible on the sleep topic- we ended up reading and following the Baby Whisperer book approach, as we do not belive in co-sleeping. (I just read the sleep chapter.) It took a few weeks for us to go from 3 feedings per night at five months down to one, and now at 8 months sleeping through the night. The keys for us were 1) crying it out(which was an agonizing week) and 2) the "sleep feeding" that our baby still gets right before we go to bed around 10pm. He is asleep during the whole thing, but that bottle takes him through the night, and gives us all about 8 hours of sleep. The no cry sleep solution book is the one to read if you are interested in co-sleeping. Whichever method you try, good luck.

My four month old usually wakes up once during the night and has been doing so for about a month. She falls asleep between 6:30-8:00 and tends to eat more often a few hrs before sleeping. For example: from 4:00-7:00 she'll eat at least every hour. I think this fills her tummy so she sleeps 6-8 hours. We have not started solids.

Does your son sleep in your room? Many babies will wake up more often if they can smell and hear their mothers. Having him sleep in his own room may help.

I also find white sound helps our baby. We like the rain sounds.

Is he sleeping to much during the day? Mine takes lots of 30 minute naps during the day. I don't know if this affects her night sleeping.

Good luck. I remember when that was me. I do think it is common for baby's this age to wake frequently.

Hey A.-I have a 3 month old that is finally sleeping from 9pm-4am. And this is how. On his belly. I know that the rest of the world says that it is a must to have your baby sleep on their back-but my son just wouldnt have it. And he was like your baby. Up every 2 hours day and night. I found out that he would sleeping longer on his belly after his 6 week check up and 1st round of immunizations. I came home with him and he WOULD NOT sleep on his back no matter what I tried. So I flipped him to his stomach and I was shocked and surprised to have him nap for over 2 hours. That night I did have him sleep on his back-but the same happened as before-up every 2 hrs. So the next night I tried the belly thing and he was out. Of course I was freaked out when he sleep so long-checking to make sure that he was still breathing-and indeed he was. We are all happier in our household these days for the much needed sleep. I know that may will say this is a bad idea and you can take it or leave it-but it has changed my world for the better. Take care-and best wishes-L. K.

Talk to your pediatrician. Between 4 and 6 months you can start your baby on rice cereal, and if you introduce at night it may be just enough to tie him over till morning- or at least longer than 2 hours! We started cereal about 5 months will all our boys, and then nursed after and they were nice and full to sleep all night long!

my son is 7mths old and he did not sleep "thru the night" right away either. but i do recall starting cereal around that time, so my suggestion would be to give him rice cereal before his "bedtime" or bedtime routine so that he is more full. also i heard that you can try having him in a different room. i didn't try this myself, but i heard that if he can't "smell your milk" he may not wake up for it. also i would suggest trying your hardest (or who ever watches him during the day) to only take maybe two naps at the same time every day and try to keep him up the rest of the time. i remember having to do that - keep him awake. it was hard but once he got use to the routine it just seemed to click. he started going to bed earlier and earlier and pretty much set his own schedule. now he gets up at 6:30am (usually) naps late morning and late afternoon and then is down by 8pm. he has been stuck in a rut lately of waking around 4am, but it seems to be going back to normal now. his doc said that around 6mths they start to remember you when you're not there and they may just want you to pick them up/nurse/snuggle. he told me if i don't have a problem with it then medically it is ok, but if i don't want to get up then just wait and see if he puts himself back to sleep. so you could also try that, just waiting to see if he goes into full blown crying - don't know if you do that now or not. well i hope that helps some, i know how hard it can be to not get regular sleep.

I don't have a lot of advice, but just thought I'd let you know you aren't alone. My oldest didn't have any long stretches of sleep until he was 6 months. My youngest (exclusively breast fed) was 18 months! I can empathize with your fatigue. I do recommend Mary Sheedy Kurcinka's book, "Sleepless in America." She also has a website--wwww.parentchildhelp.com. Good luck.

You have recieved a lot of advice so far! I did not read through all of them, but wanted to just share my thoughts with you. I suggest that you start feeding cereal, then your baby will most likely need a bath as mine did:), gently massage night time lavendar scent lotion on your baby, nurse him, and then lay him down before he falls asleep. I have three kids. With my first born, I was a single 20 year old who had to go back to work full time after just 2 weeks off. I took him to bed with me because I would just lift my shirt and half asleep nurse him and not have to get up. It's not the greatest solution though. But being single I had noone else to help out, get up once in a while, and not enough time off work to get through the every 2 hour wake up and feed routine. I had my other two children very close in age 6 years later. I followed my advice to you. I would nurse them and lay them down. I never let them fall asleep in my arms as I never wanted to get into that routine where they could not sleep with out me. My daughter is almost three and she does not want us to snuggle with her. Last night she woke up about midnight as she was stuffed up and I tried to go in and hug her and help her back to her pillow and it really just made her mad. I finally backed off, and she found her blanket, got herself back to her pillow, and fell right back to sleep. It's really great with my four year old, as he is potty trained through the night, and he can get up and go to the bathroom and find his way back to bed in the dark and just go right back to sleep. My oldest never got out of bed at this age. He actually wore pull ups up until last year as he was scared of the dark and not independent enough to get up and go back to bed on his own. I hope this helps put things in perspective a little. I think there is plenty of time to snuggle, and baby our kids throughout the day and evening, and then when it is time to sleep we need to walk away. It is hard at first especially if they cry when we leave, but if he is tired enough he will not fuss for very long, and after a few days he will stop fussing all together. Good Luck.

Hi A.
Have you read the no cry sleep solution book yet if not you should it is great at helping figure out why your child is not sleeping. I know this is not ideal but can you pump right before you go to bed and have your husband do the first feeding of the night so you can get a 4 hour strech. I wish you the best of luck. :)T.

Hate to say but my 15 month old still gets up a few times at night. She's my fourth child and I still cant' figure it out! :)
Hope it gets better for you!

A.,
I am SO sorry for your tiredness! I can totally relate.

I completely SWEAR by the "Secrets of the Baby Whisperer" book! My son didn't sleep for over 4 months - I was nursing too - and we tried everything (except the "Ferber method" and the "Babywise" methods, too harsh). I read the "Baby Whisperer" book cover to cover during all those frustrating awake times, followed the advice, and within a month, it worked!

I used the same method with my daughter from about the first month, and she was sleeping through the night at seven weeks!

Good luck and hang in there!

A.,

I know lots of people have given great advice, but I wanted to add something. It sounds like your little boy is hungry. Talk to your doctor first, but most doctors recommend starting rice cereal and 1st baby foods around 5-6 months. Once my son was eating enough, he was completely content throughout the night for 12 hours at a time. I also weaned him from night nursing around 3 months, which helped the situation as well because he was sleeping up to 7-8 hours at a time. You need your sleep and please don't feel guilty about that. Your baby will adapt much quicker than you realize.

Best of luck!

Last month my son was 3.5 months old and had one very terrible day. He ate non-stop (it seemed) and devoured solids and formula as if he was never going to eat again.

That night he slept through the night - and I mean through the night, 12 hours. Ever since that night he'll eat nearly his entire daily intake during the day, and sleeps 9-12 hours at night, with the occasional bottle at 2-3am (if he's awakened by something else, like teething pain or gas). Basically, he let us know when he was ready, we did nothing special.

That said, he's also a big boy (97th percentile height/weight) and eating solids on a regular basis. I don't think the eating solids had anything to do with it - he sleeps through the night even if he decides to eat mostly formula on any given day, which seems to fluctuate with his teething pain. When the second one popped through this week he wanted nothing to do with solid food in general! :-)

How much does your son weigh? He may not be ready to sustain himself. There's a plateau babies hit where they even out their eating habits but that plateau and therefore the "guidelines" regarding sleep and eating are almost certainly based on weight, not age. If your son is 5 months old but weighs what an average 3 month old does, then he's less likely to be ready to hit those "milestones" for solids/sleeping through the night/etc...

L.

Oh A., I feel your pain!! Get the book, "The no-cry sleep solution" by Elisabeth Pantley. It has TONS of good suggestions for getting thru this and doing it without letting your little guy cry himself to sleep (I just can't do that after trying it a few times) I was in the same boat as you with my first, I worked FT and nursed and he was up every 2 hours - and somehow I survived this until he was over a year before doing anything about it! Partly, I think they miss nursing during the day and so they try to make up for it at night. It is easy for them and HARD for us!!

Like I said, get the book it, but until you do, basically you need to think of this as the first skill you are teaching him. He needs to learn to fall asleep on his own, but you can do it lovingly - he doesn't need to cry it out. Your son might think the only way to fall asleep is by nursing. You can work on breaking that habit by putting him in his bed when he is drowsy but still awake. He may cry and you might have to pick him back up and nurse a bit more a couple times before he stays there and falls asleep. You might also try having your husband get up with him first and see if rocking or rubbing his back will get him back to sleep. The first few nights might be a bit more rough than even your current status, but it will be worth it in the end. I'd suggest doing this on a weekend where you can nap during the day too to make up for it.

Good luck, I know how frustrating this is! I also now have a 3 mo old darling little girl, who is a better sleeper than her brother, but isn't sleeping thru the night yet but at least I know now what we have to work on!

Whatever you're told, do what sounds like it will work for you. Every situation is slightly different, so try different things, being consistent with one method until you know it doesn't work for you. Also, talk to you pediatrician for healthy ideas.
Looks like I'm in the minority here, but my suggestion on the cosleeping thing is if you're not already co-sleeping, don't start. Co-sleeping--if not done properly--can be dangerous. Also, if you're not already wanting to do it, don't start because it'll be one more thing to break the habit of.
I agree with the suggestions of having your husband feed a bottle one or two of the meal times. That's what we did & it helped me get at least one longer stretch of sleep.
Also, what my pediatrician suggested was that my son was probably not able to fall asleep on his own--because we weren't putting him into his bed partially awake. What that meant was when one of his natural sleep cycles was over (I can't remember if at his age he's at 45 minutes or 1 1/2 hours...I think the latter), he didn't know to get back to sleep so he needed us to put him back to sleep, but I thought he was hungry.
It's been so long (my son is 21+ months now) so I can't remember all the specifics, but we had to start putting him to sleep a little awake, then more awake, then totally awake.
We also did have to go through a little period of "cry it out" (sort of like ferber method I guess) because we had waited so long.
Also, try to have a set routine for bedtime (& nap if possible), like bath then bottle then book at bedtime.
Just some suggestions. It does get better--I never believed it would, but it did. You're not alone, this is the hardest job ever! :)
T.

I know this will probably sound repulsive to you - I rejected this advice when my firstborn was an infant - but consider using formula for one feeding per day, and ask your husband to give your son a bottle (formula or breastmilk that you didn't use earlier in the day) for one of the night feedings. Just getting a longer stretch of sleep will help you feel -so- much better. You can mix 50/50 breastmilk and formula, too, so the taste is similar and he's still getting your milk at every feeding.

Also- is there any chance he's not burping enough? That could be one reason he tops out at 4 oz. and spits up. Leaning him to his left side while burping can help the gas escape better.

You did not mention what your sleeping arrangements are. My daughter didn't sleep through the night for quite awhile either. I would put her down in her bed, but when she woke up I would bring her in bed with me. She would nurse and I would sleep, then she would fall asleep again. If she woke up to nurse, I could still sleep. It was a wonderful way for both of us to get more sleep. There are also other very good reasons to sleep with your baby. You may want to look into what Dr. Sears says about the matter. At any rate, I was rarely tired from lack of sleep. She is now 13 months old and sleeping in her crib all night long.

Good luck!

I have a simple suggestion. He is 5 months old, put him on his belly to sleep. This helps babies feel secure and will help babies who have a tendency to spit up. He is probably strong enough at this point not to have any problems as long as you don't use blankets or fluffy mattress pads. It helped so much with my daughter, as she has acid reflux and hates to sleep on her back. If he does up, lay on your side with him in bed and nurse him there. That way, you get rest, and can put him back to bed after you get a little bit of sleep. All you do is nurse him so he is not completely on his side, but just a little on his back. Then when he is done, and asleep, get up slowly without him, and pick him up under his little arms and put him on your chest. Then rock him for a minute. After that, just put one hand in between his legs, and the other under his arm and chest and lay him in bed on his tummy. It works literally every time with my 5 month old, and she sleeps a full 9-10 hours (and I NEVER let her cry herself to sleep). You may not feel comfortable doing this, I was scared at first too. She sleeps in the same room as me so I can watch her, but she does well with it every night if I'm watching or not. Good luck either way, I hope you can manage to get some sleep soon. (Congratulations on breastfeeding, it is really a challenge, but it's so worth it!)

First, I really admire you for working full-time and continuing to breastfeed. This is so great for your son, and I don't think many people realize what a sacrifice you're making! Try to keep it up!

I don't know how much I can help, but I have been there. My first and second daughters were poor sleepers as infants and I agonized over what I could do to get them to sleep just three hours in a row (please, please, please!). I do not believe in letting children "just cry it out." I responded to my children's cries at night right away. I didn't get much sleep then, but from about 18 mos. on, they've slept really well,(even when we transitioned to big beds).

My third daughter is five months and she does have one long stretch at night. The differences I see are that she has often cried a little longer in bed than the other girls (either for naps or at night) just because I was dealing with another child and couldn't get to her right away. I found that many, many times my third daughter only cries for two or three minutes and then falls back to sleep. Makes me wonder if I went to my first daughters too quickly when they cried??? I've also paid more attention to how the third daughter is dressed at night. Her room is typically around 65 degrees at night (it varies now that spring is here and the heat is generally off). I dress her in a onesie, a footed sleeper and then I also put her in a sleeper-bag. I started doing this when she kicked off covers and woke up cold. Since doing this, she sleeps about 5-6 hours in the first stretch. I also switched her crib mattress with the one my toddler was using (the first made too much crinkly noise when she moved). Finally, I try to run a fan in the room. I put it on the floor where it won't make her cold, but where the noise still drowns out other noises in the house.

I hope you find relief soon. I know you're already pumping a bunch, but maybe for one night your husband could give her a bottle in the middle of the night? I know some couples trade sleeping in on the weekend (one sleeps in on Saturday, one on Sunday). I wish you the best -- hang in there!

Hi A.,

My two sons started sleeping through the night when they were less than 2 months old, but I always put them to bed at a certain time for naps and nighttime. I would put them to bed awake and let them fall asleep on their own...this way they learn to fall back to sleep if they wake up in the night. Just make sure that they have a dry diaper and a full tummy, so if they cry, you know there is nothing they need...and you can let them learn to fall asleep on their own.

If your son is waking up often you may need to start him on solid foods, but once you know he is satisfied you are just going to have to tough it out and let him fuss. It really won't take long to develop this habit...you will be surprised and sooo happy! "Follow through and be consistent"...this is my motto for lots of circumstances, and it works!!!!

C.

Some babies don't sleep very well, my daughter was very simillar to your son, she still isn't a very good sleeper and she is almost 3. I found that using one of those lights and sounds aqariums helped, you still have to turn it one, but it help her to go back to sleep without having to be feed every few hours and this made her more hungrey at the next feeding which made her sleep more.

I don't know whether you are against formula but I had the same issue with our son. I just started giving him a bottle of formula at bedtime and he slept a good six hours at night. My husband was able to give him the bedtime bottle (which really helped them have special time together) and I would pump in the evening and have a bit of time to myself to relax and prepare for the next day. AS a first time mom, it was difficult to think that formula was ok but sleep deprivation is more unhealthy than a little formula..Good luck.
D.

I only have one child (a boy - 19 months old), but what you're seeing sounds very similar to my own experience. I breast fed exclusively for the first six months and worked full time as well. It's a tough balancing act - so props to you. My son also woke every two hours to eat at night, during growth spurts sometimes he only made it 45 minutes. I'm laughing as I type this because it seems so ridiculous, but at the time the situation was anything but funny. You are right - you do need to take care of yourself and get some sleep. I suggest pumping and having someone else (dad, grandma, friend) take a swing at feeding during the night. The world seems a much better place after even one night of good rest (even five hours of uninterupted sleep is nice). My husband and I decided that cosleeping fit our family well. We just figured that before too long he'll be pretending not to know us, let alone wanted to give us a hug or snuggle. It's worked pretty well. With cosleeping, our son still woke up, but once he got started I could go back to sleep, making my nights seem much longer. Another thing I did was try to sleep when he slept on the weekends. Even one nap a day seemed to make being a mom much more enjoyable. Best of luck!

A.,
I saw myself when I read your request. My daughter was an okay sleeper but then she was formula fed and my DH would take every other feeding. My son on the other hand would have nothing to do with formula and we breastfed.
My son was awake every 1 1/2 to 2 hrs and honestly I can't pinpoint when he started sleeping longer stretches. What we did do was put a comfy recliner in his room and for the nights that were really bad I would sleep in the recliner with him (I didn't trust cosleeping because my husband is very restless). It is very disheartening but it will get better. My children are now 5 and 2 and sleep beautifully at night. I had problems with pumping enough for while I was at work so trying to pump extra was out of the question for me but maybe it would work for you.
As a nurse I do have to say that putting cereal in the bottle is not recommened UNLESS there is a medical condition that your pediatrician has told you to do so for. Someone else recommened tummy sleeping to you and I recommend against that also. I also don't believe in letting your baby cry it out. When a baby cries that is their way to communicate. I didn't, however, jump out of bed the second my baby cried.
I saw a few moms recommended Dr Sears and I agree with them. My friend gave me one of his books when I had my son and I absolutely loved it. I also have the Baby Whisperer book and loved that too. When you are sleep deprived, you will read anything that will give some insight to what is going on.
Remember that your baby and my baby are NOT the same and what worked for me will not necessarily work for you.
If I were you, I would talk to my pediatrician about his sleep habits (or lack of) because aside from you and your spouse your pediatricain knows your baby the best. No offense to grandparents!! And really that IS what you pay your pediatrician for, to be able to talk to when you have questions or concerns.
Good Luck!!

I suggest the book The Happiest Baby on the Block by Harvey Karp. He suggests something called the 5 S's. Swaddling, side, swinging, shushing, and sucking.

My second child is not a fussy baby-he is 6 weeks old-but I still found this technique very useful. I wish I would have known about this when my 7 year old was an infant. He was collicky.

If you are not already, try cosleeping with your baby. I strongly urge you to Google 'Dr. Sears+cosleeping' and read up on the safety tips for cosleeping as lined out by Dr. Sears.

Otherwise, you need to consider he is probably teething. I don't know if it's all that great to be giving him cereal in his bottle. He is probably just a naturally gassy boy who needs more baby massage. My daughter was a really tootie one and we had to massage her lower back and belly quite a bit for her to rest easy. Good luck!

I'm going through this with my 7 month old. I also breatfeed and work FT. I just wanted to give you my support because I know it's a lot of work. I have a 4 year old who slept great so this is quite frustrating. We just keep telling ourselves it will get better because it really does. Hang in there! You'll get through it!

have your husband take one of the feeding that worked for me when my babies were little

I breastfed all my babies and they all woke up every two hours too. I would give it a little more time. At six months he should be sleeping in his own room and this makes a big difference. Its is kind of hard and he will cry but every night it will be less and less until he is sleeping all night. You have to let them cry...you can check in and reassure him but dont talk or pick him up. Its takes only about a week. It helps when hes not sleeping right next to you(I guess you didnt say weather he was sleeping next to you.) Its easier to let them cry if their not in the same room...besides when you breast feed they smell you and sence you there and its just becomes a habit for them to get up every couple hours. Like I said it just takes about a week of consistancy to change that built in clock that hes on. Hope this helps! Good luck