5 1/2 Month Old Problem with Naptime

Hi L.! I did just what you said you were going to do -map out her daily schedule. For about a week and a half, I just let my baby do her thing, when she wanted to do it, and wrote everything down. When she woke up in the am, when she was hungry for food or milk, when she went down for naps and how long they lasted, when ready for bed. My days had seemed so scattered, with no continuity, but once I wrote it all down, there really was a pattern!! I was able to anticipate naps, work my daily errands around mealtimes, it was like I finally had a handle on things! It was great, cause I was also better able to decipher what my baby was telling me, instead of throwing everthing i could at her, trying to find out what was wrong-frustrating the both of us. It may seem like a complicated task, to write everything down, but it really isn't. I just kept a big notebook handy and jotted down notes and times, then at the end of the week, compared each day. Good Luck, I know it was a big help to me! BTW, I still do it every 3 mo. or so, when it seems like the old schedule isn't working anymore. I just recently did it, cause we went from 3 naps to 2 =(

There is a book called The Happiest Baby on the Block that really has worked forpthers..give it a flip thru at the book store.

I also disagree with what a lot of people here are saying about letting her cry it out. When my kids were younger, I would nurse them in bed and then slip away after they were asleep. I also co-slept with my kids (and will do so with the one on the way) for quite a while. Yes, it takes longer before they are going to sleep on their own, but I assure you that eventually they learn to just fine, and they are also very secure in the fact that their needs will be met when expressed. If they woke up too early, I would just slip in and nurse a little bit more until they fell asleep again. I admit that I would often fall asleep with them, but that would just mean that I needed that nap too. I do not believe in crying it out, but I also want to point out that even Ferber says never to use this technique in a child younger than 6 months.

I have the same problem with my 2 month old. He's younger of course but if I put him down when he's asleep in my arms from nursing, he only lays there about a minute before he wakes up and cries. I won't let him cry it out. I think that's cruel. He's frightened and confused as to why he woke up alone in this new spot when he feel asleep so snug with you. But I've found that a sling works great. I can slip him into the sling which only rouses him for a few moments and then he curls up and sleeps in there for quite a while. I can get all sorts of stuff done around the house while he's in there too. He's actually in it right now while I'm writing you! :) Good luck.

T.

She is too young for CIO, even according to Ferber. Also, some kids are less amenable to that. I know my DD would (and still will) get very energized by crying, so leaving her to cry and "settle" herself would have been an exercise in futility. I know some kids do need to fuss a little (a little, not cry hysterically) to get to sleep but not all.

I know it can be a pain as my DD was one of those who would wake when I put her down but I embraced her naptime as time to cuddle her, watch tv, read books, etc. Since noone else was running around messing up my house, it was no big deal to not be doing other things. Now she is 21 months, goes down fine and I actually miss my forced relaxation time. I really don't have any excuse not to get stuff done!

But if it is really bugging you, have you checked out Pantley's "No Cry Sleep Solution"? Gentle ways to get the babies down. It is not an instant fix, can take days or a couple weeks, but CIO is also not instant. Good luck!

Hi L., have you tried a pacifier? Usually when my son is finished nursing (and has fallen or is close to falling asleep) I detach him from me & pop in the pacifier. I'm able to put him in his crib and he is still relaxed and content. I don't let him cry himself to sleep ever.... I don't like him to feel scared & alone. Anyway, good luck!

Hi L.,
I would try laying down with her at nap time. If you don't feel comfortable leaving her in your bed, some moms use a futon on the floor, or they sell a roll that you can put in your bed specifically so a baby won't roll out of bed. I usually found that if I was with my son when he fell asleep, and he was in a comfortable position, I could sneak away when he was asleep. The thing I have seen advertised is called the family sleeper at familysleeper.com or 888-403-6872. I have never used this, not sure what it costs, but I think it is worth looking into. good luck!
M.

I too am a big side-lying nurser with my daughter and was with my son too. I actually think this is her preferred position as well b/c it is when she is most relaxed. At 3 mos she is already easily distracted and likes to pull off and look around at what's going on when we're sitting up out in the living room or where other people are. Anyways, I nurse side-lying, when she is done I will take my breast out and sometimes see if she wants the pacifier. Then I gently move her onto a blanket so that I can sort of swaddle her (mainly just pin her arms down so she doesn't flail & wake herself up. I keep my arms pressed on her after that so she can still feel me... then I move her to her bassinette or crib. Once there, I have 2 rolled up baby blankets on either side of her and I roll them close next to her. My kids are just not the greatest sleepers... feeling tucked in & secure has been the best thing for our babies. Good luck!

OK--I have completely opposite advice from your previous posters. My son always woke up when we changed his position. He also would get so worked up crying that he would throw up, CIO was not an option for us, even if we wanted to go that route. But we did find some things that worked wonderfully...Have you tried lying down with her in your bed & feeding her there? THis works particularly well if you're breastfeeding, side-lying nursing gives tired moms a wonderful break too. If she's already lying down, then you can slip away much easier. Try lying on your side, w/ a pillow under your head & her head cushioned on your arm. YOu can use your other hand to position her, your breast, or just to snuggle her in tight. Put another pillow behind her (in case you fall asleep), so there's something beteween her & the edge of the bed & perhaps a third @ your low back. When you need to switch sides, just roll her over your tummy & flip yourselves over.

I'd also reconsider using her nap as a time to get things done :). I made a bargain with myself when DS was a few months old, I did whatever I could around the house with him (usually in the sling) & kept nap time for precious me time. Perhaps think of her nap time as rest time for you too...sleep with her, or curl up & read, call your friends, exercise, or whatever you need to rejuvenate & keep that positive mama energy.

Just thought I'd offer an alternative view...good luck!

L.,

My 5-1/2 month old daughter Evelyn does the same thing. The only thing I found that has worked is to nurse sitting on the floor and then I don't have to move far to put her down on the floor to sleep and if she wakes up I just side nurse for a minute or so and she is out and then I don't have to move her. I guess the same would work if I side nursed in the bed just haven't done that, the floor is convenient and easy.

Good luck,
L.

Sounds to me like you need to start sleep training her. Let her get sleepy when you feed her, but not completely asleep. Put her in her crib - yes she will cry. Stay with her comforting her until she falls asleep.
The first time you try it may take an hour! After an hour give up, and try again for her next nap. After about a week or so of this she should start going to sleep on her own.
But it takes persistence, patience and consistency. Right now the only way she knows how to go to sleep is by nursing and by sleeping on you. If you want to change that, your little one will cry, but you don't have to let her cry on her own.
Good luck!

I had this problem with my little guy when he was between 3 and 10 months and still breastfeeding. I ended up using a boppy pillow while nursing, then sliding it off me onto the sofa with him still aboard, propping pillows around him and making my escape. It was pretty effective most of the time! If he wasn't nursing I would wear him in a sling, dance around to lullabies and then sway in front of the fan on our stove to put him out. I was sometimes able to remove him and put him down in his crib without a wake-up, other times I just read or watched tv with him still in the sling. This got old fast as he grew! He's 2 now, and very good about going down at night, naps can still be a struggle. To be honest, I'd forgotten all about the trauma of those early months - you probably will to...hee hee!

Hello L.!!
I just read your update and completely agree with you!!!It is not in me to do the CIO method, either. We co-sleep with our one year old and when we are home during the day on weekends/vacations, I breastfeed him to sleep in our bed for his naptime and then usually do all of my folding laundry, etc..right next to him. At 5-6 months, he was not a strong napper (30-45 minutes twice a day) but once he started crawling and walking, sleeps 3 hours! You need to do what your heart tells you to..it is so easy to get caught up in what everyone else thinks or does, but only you know Emily!!! I had so many people tell me that I was doing it all wrong, and my little guy is the happiest baby ever!! Good luck : )

How are the nights going? If you haven't sleep trained yet, I would start there at bedtime and then the naps should fall into place.

I am a firm believer of "Nap when the baby naps". Is the housework that important that one or two hours will make or break the status of the house? :) I'd rather rest with my babe than sweep/dust/do dishes - and my husband pitched in IMMENSELY, especially at 5 & 1/2 months. The housework will always be there, but the baby will grow up. Enjoy the breaks in your day where you find them! :)

Let her cry a little longer. If you want to go in and check on her, some people wait 5 mins, then 10, then 15 etc... Going in every 5 minutes is ineffective and she is used to the routine. I used to have a 15 minute rule where I would not let myself go see my daughter, and she often fell asleep in that time. You know when she is tired and needs to sleep, and you know she (and you) will be miserable later if she doesn't sleep, so you have to be strong and help her- by help her I mean let her figure it out. Trust that she can figure this out- it is hard, but in the long run it is worth it- and she won't wake up later mad at you for letting her cry- believe me! She will be a happier kid. Consistency is the key. Whatever you decide you want to do, be consistent or you are in for a tough time.

WHat I would do is try to make sure she is awake when you put her in the crib. Sometimes babies wake up and get scared that they are not in the place they fell asleep w/the comfort of your warmth right there. also, when she cries instead of going in every five min. try to wait alittle longer. If you went in after 5 min the first time try 7 the next and then increase it in little increments. She is probably staying up b/c she is anticipating your return. It is the most difficult thing to have to listen to your baby cry when you know you can fix it quickly by picking her up but teaching her how to fall asleep on her own is a wonderful gift you can give her. You should also turn off the baby monitor if you have one while your doing this!! Good luck. I did this with my twins and it worked after about 4 days for one and 1.5 weeks for the other. You can aslo get more info. about this at the library if you look up Ferber method.

Hi L.,

It sounds mean but you have to let her cry for longer.

Feed her, tell her it's nap time and give kisses, then leave the room. Go in at 15 minute intervals. I found the more I went in, the more upset my now 8 month old would get. If after one hour he was still up I gave my son a pacifer and he would pass right out. Otherwise he would fall asleep before that. Each day the cry time decreased until now he doesn't fuss at all about naps.

Good luck.