4Th Grader Left Unattended

I find that most people, when they are at fault and they KNOW it, will scream and carry on to try to divert the blame from themselves. This woman KNOWS she was responsible and is trying to get out of being held accountable. It's a pretty sad person who tries to pin the blame on a 4th grader. Coach should have texted you, as previously arranged.

Call the principal.

Wow would I be mad at the coach.
But that's because my husband and I are coaches and know that you can't J. LEAVE a child!!
When practice is over we stay until all of the children are picked up by their parent. That goes for my 8 year old AND my 11 year old.
That woman was out of line.
You should call the school and tell them what happened, how upset you are by the coaches reaction, and then let the school deal with it. Actually, maybe I would WRITE the school (email or snailmail) so that you have a record of correspondence.
L.

I think it's the coaches fault but I would not trust someone else in that kind of situation so I would have given my child a cell phone to call and let M. know the details of their event.

Okay, I'm going to say it: I think that you're leaving important details out of this story.

Why does your daughter not have your number to call you or text you with that kind stranger's phone?

Why would your daughter's coach "Immediately start screaming" at you as soon as you got on the phone with her? How did she even know what to scream about?

Why are you flipping out about a 9/10 year old being left to wait for you? She could have sought shelter under the eaves in front of the school. Yes, the coach should have sent a text....but really, the issue here isn't that your daughter was alone, but that the coach didn't let you know to come early.

As I said, I think there are some pertinent details missing here.

ETA: Oooh, here's an idea: Hook up with the other parents and see if one of them will text you if they get word of an early pickup.

I am glad everything worked out but there is something off about this story, something missing. Like how did the other two parents know to get there early and pick up their children? They live out of town too so they had the same drive you did. If your daughter was in plain sight why didn't the other parents see her either?

What did you calmly say that made the coach start yelling?

I can politely ask someone why they are so stupid and there is a really good chance they are going to yell at M..

My response to the school, how can WE keep this from happening again?

Wow. Talk to the administration. Completely unprofessional, and unsafe.

The moment she started screaming at M. would have been my cue to escalate to the principal. My kids are in select sports, have been for years. There have been times I was late to pick them up, they have NEVER had a coach leave them there alone, ever. You gave the coach your cell and she agreed to notify you if they would be late. She screwed up, she knows she screwed up, and she's trying to shift blame. Uh uh. Call the principal and explain it exactly like you did above, they need to have a talk with this coach. I would also consider getting a cheap phone for my kid if this had happened, I wouldn't trust the coach anymore.

ETA - I don't care how many kids she had to look after, it was her job and she failed. There are services (my kid's teachers use them) where parents can sign up and the teacher can send a text to everyone - 1 text goes to all parents that says "we're arriving early at xx:xx time". No excuse, this shouldn't have happened.

My recommendation would ask for a sit down with the principal of the school and the coach. Calmly (as it seems you seem to have great control)state your issue to the principal and coach. This will allow the coach to hopefully keep her cool too. Your child or any other child for that matter should not be left unattended and the coach has a responsibility to make sure your child is safe. Ask the coach if it were his/her child would it be acceptable to leave the child alone. I would talk to the principal first about the manner in which the coach handled your phone conversation. Totally unacceptable. As a parent of children who played sports I sat many a night with other peoples children waiting until the parent arrived. No excuse for lack of consideration.

Poor sportsmanship on the coachs' part. Red penalty flag thrown.

i'm a no-drama mama.
but this would be an exception. with icy courtesy and relentless perseverance, i would pursue this matter up the chain of command through the board of ed until i achieved satisfaction, which would involve plenty of apologies, assurances it would NEVER happen again, and possibly the dismissal of this coach.
i rarely subscribe to the adrenaline soaked mamabear paradigm, but sometimes it's called for.
khairete
S.

I didn't read all the responses, so forgive M. if I repeat what someone else has said.

What happened was unacceptable. You entrust your daughter's safety to an adult who is affiliated with her school. This makes the coach and the school responsible. The coach because she is the adult in charge with the understanding to text should plans change and the school because the coach is either hired by or recruited by the school. I would write a formal letter to the school, explaining what happened. I would be sure to not fly off the handle in my description; keep it to the point with no unneeded emotions. I would also hand deliver the same letter to the coach. Finally, if nothing was done, I would pull my child from the activity and find one that is more responsible and able to communicate better - on the phone, in texts, in person. This "coach" showed no restraint yelling at you; how is she with the children?! The coach may have 14 or whatever kids to watch, but YOU only have ONE daughter in her care.

Wow! As a mom of a 4th grader I'm completely speechless. I dont understand how a coach or for that matter any responsible adult could leave a child, Regardless if she walked a few feet away! That coach is responsible for every child until picked up by a parent..PERIOD!! I would definitely speak to whom ever is in charge of that sports program and make them aware so it wont happen again to any other child.
As for the stranger that looked after your daughter.. Thank God for sending an Angel!! ;) Good luck and I'm glad your daughter is safe.

First of all, teach your daughter that it is better to get rained on than to get kidnapped. NO going into vans of people whose names she doesn't know, etc.

Secondly, teach your daughter that she must not walk away from the coach. 60 feet, 30 feet - stay with the coach at all times. (Apparently the coach can't be trusted to "behave" if your daughter walks away!!)

Lastly, getting there early J. in case IS on you - because your daughter's life and safety is ultimately "on you". The loss of your daughter would haunt you forever. The impact on this coach we're discussing, might be very different. It's not her daughter...and it sounds like she is not overly concerned about her!!

How many kids is the coach responsible for? Does she have an assistant or parent volunteer? The reason I ask is that a person with one head and two eyes can only see so much at once. So if your daughter walked off when she was looking at or talking to another child or children, then how was she supposed to see that?
What does your daughter say? DID she walk away from practice without telling her coach first? If she did she needs to understand that was not okay.
The screaming was inappropriate for sure. If you can't have a conversation with her I guess you can call the school, but I'm not sure what their liability is, especially if this is a voluntary program. If you don't feel it's safe you can always pull her out.
I know my kids' soccer coaches often complained about kids who would leave practice without telling them. A kid would see their mom coming down the driveway and J. leave while the coach's back was turned. Then the coach would panic and say "oh what happened to Sally?" and there would be confusion, and finally someone would say "oh I saw her mom pick her up."
Your daughter NEEDS to stay with her coach and NOT walk off. Please teach her that.

Ok your angry cause some of the people hear assume we know exactly how your school and parking lot are set up. Well a kid walking away and not calling out to check for you, is a kid walking to a waiting parent.

If the coach was asked to text you upon early return she should have and didnt. Is there no alcove for her to sit in during the rain? Doesnt seem that she sat there for a very long time.

As for did the coach really scream at you? I mean all out, ear blasting screaming, or did she raise her voice in complaint that you are accusing her of letting her daughter alone on the school property. She is likely worried you will take it up with the school board and feels the need to defend what happened. As calm as you say you were, it would depend on the questions asked and the tone of the accusation you have made. This could very well have caused someone great need for clarification with volume.

3 kids to keep track of as well as daily activity can be a lot for a someone, should she have texted you? yes, probably but she may have seriously thought your daughter went to the car.

I would say, now that it happened, its in the past, could things have gone worse? of course, but they didnt. So now you need to deal with how to make it NOT happen again. Contingent plan for your daughter. If it didnt rain, and she had not gone in a strangers car, would you have been so angry?

VERY happy to hear that this luckily had a good ending in that your daughter was safe. Due to the coach's demeanor over the phone, I would follow up with the principal immediately. Her extreme reaction (wow!) tells M. that she knew she f'd up royally. You don't jet out of there when a child walks 60 feet away! Understandably, you are upset. I would be, too. And after my convo w/ the principal, I would be ready to possibly curtail my daughter's involvement with this team because based on her reaction over the phone, this could get ugly and you don't want your daughter receiving the brunt of it. Good luck and please do keep us posted.

You expect the coach to text you if they will be Early. You must be kidding right. I used to drive all over creation with my kids. Not less than half an hour. Where I live, nothing is close by. I always arrived early. If I knew I would be running behind I called another parent to hang to kid until I got there. You see we exchanged numbers for this reason. You need to do the same. If they arrive early, can you J. hand on to so and so until I get there. Communication is the key!

Maybe this parent agreed to,stay with your daughter until you got there. Does not sound like you got the whole story. J. get there early. Problem solved.

I am a volleyball coach and I NEVER leave practice or a tournament without makeing sure all my girls are accounted for, that is my JOB to make sure of this. I am also a parent so I also understand that sometimes parents run late but they know that I will always stay until they get there no if's and's or but's about it. I would be pretty pissed in that situation.

This was totally the fault of the coach, period. If your daughter walked off it's still the coach's responsibility to verify that she got into your car. What if she walked around the corner and you weren't there or a bad person was? And if the weather looked poor she needed to be sure your daughter had shelter. She yelled at you, I'm sure, because she knew she did wrong and didn't want to admit it. You tried talking to her, she actually yelled at you, so now it's time to make a call to the principal. Let's see if she yelled at them. At the end of the day, no matter the circumstances, your child was in her care and she was responsible, period. She should have kept an eye on her until you showed up, no matter when that was.

K. B
mom to 5 including triplets

I'd need to know how long she was standing there waiting. If we're talking 15-20 minutes, even in the rain, I wouldn't be over upset. At that age a little rain won't hurt and neither will waiting for a bit.

Now as a parent who also lives rural and a good bit of a drive from the school. I get what your saying. I was always early to pick-ups, but what peeved M. more was practice not being over when they said it will be or getting back at the time they said they will. Either they were early or they were late, they were never on time that I can remember.

So the solution, a cheap, I mean cheap, cell phone that the kids could contact M. on and let M. know what was happening. It's only use was for M., not for anything or anyone else. This stopped all of the confusion, and made my life a lot easier. It's really up to you to be proactive for your DD.

Okay, now having said that. The coach and M. would go rounds for the way she was talking. Most schools have a policy that states an adult must be around until all children are picked up, unless otherwise agreed upon by the parent. The principal and I would be having one very long conversation about the whole thing.

I'd be livid if I were in your shoes. I'd also be at the school when it opens demanding to see the principal and letting the whole office hear the conversation, especially that the coach was screaming at M. and blaming my daughter.

If you don't stand up to this coach, your daughter is going to bear the brunt of it. It's all or nothing at this point. The coach owes you an apology and the school needs to make sure that protocol is followed from now on. I'd go to the school board if you don't get help from the principal and to the media as well. Your daughter COULD have ended up on the nightly news as a missing person. You are both indeed very lucky.

Don't let this go.

So thankful your daughter is safe. I would be pretty upset too. The only thing I can think of is what some others are saying. That the coach saw your daughter walk away and assumed you were there to pick her up. BUT, you know what they say about "assume"! The coach probably does feel bad about this, and is probably stressing out about the consequences this morning. With only 3 kids to watch after, she should have been more careful, especially because the bus came earlier then the parents were expected to be there. I would talk to someone about this as well, but I would also talk to my daughter and make a plan so she knows exactly where you are going to pick her up, so she doesn't walk off looking in other areas. That way, if you are not is the spot waiting, she knows you are not there yet.

The responsible adult is at fault and yelling at you was to throw you off from contacting her superiors regarding this matter.

Under the circumstances it may be prudent for your child to have an inexpense cell phone to be able to reach out to you in times like this. So it isn't only on the incompetent staffer to be the adult in this situation.

I may choose to take this a step further because of the unprofessional manner the coach spoke to you. However understand your kid will have to deal with this coach in order to continue to be on the team. So decide carefully how you are going to proceed forward. Adults do at times retaliate against the kids.

As a coach and Girl Scout Leader I would never J. leave a child without ensuring they have been picked up by a parent or guardian. You have the right to be mad about that.

However, as a coach and GS Leader it is NOT my responsibility to ensure you have enough time to arrive early because you live out of the town on dirt roads. It would be a courtesy call/text. I would wait with any and all kids until all parents have picked up.

Also, she has other students and children to attend to. She may have not had a chance to send a text. Depending on how many kids she may have bigger issues to deal with. Doesn't excuse her leaving...not all.

You stated "Last night, however, the bus needed to be back early for another activity." did you know prior to practice? If so, really this one is on you as well.

Wow. What happens when it begins to get dark - will she leave a 9 year old at the school in the dark?

Is the coach a volunteer or paid by the school? If she's a paid coach this needs to be reported to the school. There is no way a 9 year old should be left alone, 10 minutes before usual pick-up time by a school official. If you got there at 5:50 she may have been left even earlier.

I realize that I live in the NYC metro area and we may be a little more paranoid about leaving out children alone - but I think rural areas have jsut as many wierdos as a proportion of the population - and a 9 year old hcild, waiting at a deserted school building is a pedophile's daydream.

This is not, at all, your child's fault. She is 9. The coach is supposed to be the adult.

couple of thoughts: yeah, the coach is at fault.

But....if your daughter walked to the edge of the building, in a blink of the coach's eye, she could have been around the corner of it & heading to your car (or grabbed by a stranger)....& the coach would have assumed your daughter was okay & had connected with you.

Your child is not the only child in her care & pickup time can be busy/crazy....& it's very easy to lose track. I recommend a sign-out sheet from this point on. :)

As for the screaming....yes, it was inappropriate.

& from this point on, I highly recommend you plan your arrival to be within the timeframe of the "early" release....so this never happens again. :)

Thankfully, your daughter is fine. That is THE main thing.

So the coach KNEW your daughter walked to look around the corner but didn't wait to see if she came back or if you were in fact there? If she started screaming at you right away, chances are she knew she was wrong. She should have told your daughter to let her know either way and waited for your daughter to tell her you weren't there (and then wait for her). Of course, if you had received a call or text you would have known to be there early (or once there, they could have called you and found out that you weren't). Alas, hindesight is 20/20 for all involved.

What to do now?

1. Tell your daughter that when they arrive at the school she is to stay WITH the coach until she lays eyes on you in the parking lot (not on the street).
2. Can you start arriving 10-15 minutes early? Sit and read or balance your checkbook while you are waiting but at least you are there when your child arrives. I know your SWH says it should not be on you but it is your child so ultimately it is on you to insure her safety.
3. Find out what the school's policy is.
4. Can you find out what days the bus will be early so you can plan accordingly?
5. Can you talk to the parents of the other two girls and maybe figure out a game plan for those early days (take turns being the parent that waits for all to be picked up)? Better yet, where do they all live? Could you all take turns with picking up so all of you aren't driving so long every day? A few extra minutes once or twice a week is better than a whole hour every day.

I'm glad your daughter is okay. I would be highly upset too.

I read your SWH, but not the other comments. I don't think your daughter is at fault. She is a child. I can understand why she thought your daughter was walking to your car, but she should wait to be sure. If there was a line of cars it would make sense that your daughter would look to see if you were at the end of the line.

However, if another parent stayed to let her sit in her car out of the rain, your daughter was J. standing around waiting and clearly not with you. It has always been policy at my child's school that an adult must be present until all children are picked up. It is a hassle to the staff, but it prevents this exact situation from happening. If they have repeat offenders( parents who show up late consistently) they handle that separately.

I think she was out of line for yelling. I don't know that the school will do much. I think it would be wise to get her a cell phone. I normally don't suggest one for children her age, but for your piece of mind it is probably the best thing. It can be a very simple, pay as you go, no frills emergency use phone.

Is it possible that when your dd went around the corner, the coach assumed that you had picked her up? She was wrong to leave her unattended, but I can see how that might happen.

If I were you, I would make arrangements with another parent to watch your dd in case they are early again.

Yikes I think I might try talking to the coach face to face first about her reaction. If she's still rude, then go up the food chain.

In future, I would either get my daughter a cell phone or have her ask the coach to call or text you in these situations.

I have to agree with Patty K on arriving early. I live 30 minutes from town but I usually take my kids to their activites and wait. Now my daughter swims 3 days a week for an hour and half so I usually run errands. I get back to practice about 1/2 hour before it is over and my daughter (11) knows to call M. from the pool if they get out early. I can not expect the coach to sit with her as he has another practice after ours at another pool. It is my job to be there to pick her up. I do not agree with the coach screaming at you and I would be more concerned that my daughter was on a team where the coach lost her temper like that. Good luck to you.

I understand you are upset. I likely would be as well. Is this the first time this has happened with this coach? I am not saying don't be upset but maybe give her the benefit of the doubt that she saw your child walk around the corner to see if you were there, assumed all was well and went on. Does your daughter know where the coach went? Could she have found her and told her that you weren't there? I'm not putting this all on your daughter, but I dont' think the coach did it to be malicious. I think it was a definate misunderstanding. She thought your daughter found you when clearly she didn't.

Since talking calmly to the coach did not do anything, I would talk to whoever is next up the food chain. This is not acceptable, there is no excuse for leaving the child unattended. If the coach honestly made a mistake and thought the child had been picked up then that is one thing, but why be so defensive if you really did nothing wrong?

My child used to do running club after school. One day they forgot to gather the kinder kids and my son, then 5, took the bus home to an empty house. You can bet I had words with the school until I knew it would never happen again.

I would make sure to mention to your daughter about making sure the coach knows she is not leaving yet if she has to walk somewhere to look for you, J. in case this was an honest mistake.

Added: does your daughter have a phone? While my son does not have his own phone yet, we do have an extra family cell that the kids can take when they have sports and activities so I know they can always reach M. if need be. If you already have a cell of your own it can be as little as $10 a month to add an extra line and they usually give you a free phone as well (don't need a smart phone, J. something she can call and text on).

Yikes, communication break downs all over.

Would you consider a cell phone for your child? Very basic.. This is one of those instances one could have come in handy.

Your daughter could have sat in the coaches car and called you.

The more activities they get into the more you are dependent on others and your own child to know what to do in each situation.

Or you could then call your daughter to check her status and let her know you are on your way to wait in the coaches car since it is raining.

Problem solve these things when they pop up.

Ypu do realize, people do not want bad things to happen to your child, but mistakes and poor choices do happen. In this case explain to your daughter her options so she will be better prepared in the future.

This is how communication and expectations are learned by all involved.

I don't really get the problem. A fourth grader (9 or 10 years old?) was left unattended in a familiar place, amongst familiar people in broad daylight. I'm not sure why she needs supervision in this situation. Rain is annoying, but isn't going to hurt her. I would personally drop the matter. You are J. angry. No harm was done.

Not sure of all responses, so sorry if this is a repeat. I would most certainly notify the school principal of what happened. It is completely the coaches responsibility to care for your child AND make sure she is in your car safely before the coach leaves. It sounds like she J. assumed she was walking to your car. Obviously if the coach was doing her job, she would have noticed that your daughter did not get in a car. I don't care if she had 3 kids to look after or 30, if she can not handle the responsibility then she should not be coaching the kids. This sort of thing should never happen and someone should defiantly be notified. I would probably send an e-mail to the schools principal stating what happened and request a meeting to see what needs to be done to make sure it doesn't happen again. If it were M., I would also talk to my child and tell them that I would always pick her up at X spot, and to wait for M. until I get there. I'm not putting any blame on your child, because this issue has nothing to do with her, but everything to do with an irresponsible coach.

I think I'd get there early from now on.
Look--I know you're upset. But things happen.
My first thought is that the coach didn't see your daughter and ASSUMED you picked her up.
Do you normally speak to/acknowledge/make eye contact/thank the coach when you do pick her up normally? If so, I think she was a bit negligent. If not, I think you need to be more proactive.

I don't care what the coach had on her agenda. I don't care if she was "late" getting somewhere--which she shouldn't have been, as I'm assuming she didn't know they'd be getting back early--or did she? (and if she did know ahead of time--why wasn't that communicated to the parents who needed to come and pick up their kids earlier?)

It doesn't matter. What matters is that she left a 4th grader ALONE with no adult/parent to watch over her and make sure she was safe and protected. IF your daughter had been hurt, assaulted, or even taken, it would fall ON THE COACH for not making sure every child's safety had been accounted for. I wouldn't have wanted to be in her shoes/position if that had occurred.

You need to go to the higher-ups and send them a letter, expressly outlining every single thing that happened and what the arrangement was between you and the coach for when something like this happens. (And I would try to get the name of the parent who was kind enough to let your daughter sit in her car while it was pouring rain outside and include it in your report letter.) Even if your daughter had a cell phone--so she could have called you and told you of the change--you still would not have had enough time to drive into town to pick her up. And you probably would have been a few minutes late to pick up.

How long did your daughter have to wait from the time she was dropped off at the school until you were able to get there to pick her up? I would also make note of that in your letter.

I can't imagine anyone--whether they are a mother or not--who wouldn't put the needs and security of a child over their own adult needs. Seriously? Really?

My daughter is 13 years old and has lacrosse. The coaches never leave until every kid has been picked up. Their field is at the very edge/end of the playing fields, and the hockey rink cannot be counted on to be open when she's there for practice. And there is a community dog-walking trail right by her playing field--which means anyone and everyone uses that area. I would be livid if there wasn't someone there to make sure my daughter/the other players are watched over, safe and accounted for, until they are picked up by their parents.

The coach blew up at you because she KNEW what she did was wrong. She should have waited until your daughter was picked up. End of story.

Write and send your letter to the upper/proper authorities. That way, you're protected and you've told them your side of the story. In case anything like this ever happens again.

Let's pray the coach is talked to and it never happens again. The school district isn't going to want a lawsuit on its hands if a child ever disappears or is accosted. End of story.

I did not read all the previous responses so I apologize if I am repeating.

Anyway:
1) This is a school, sport activity/team?
2) Thus, WHO does the Coach, work for? Your daughter's school or that other school they co-op with?
-Is the Coach... the SAME person that drives the bus and buses the kids???? Or there is a "Bus Driver" who is employed by the school or is a private bus driver from a contracted company?
- IS the Coach, of YOUR daughter's group, also there... on that bus and waiting WITH the kids for pick up?
- IS there, any other Assistant "Coaches" there too? Or J. that one Coach?

3) IF, this is a SCHOOL sport activity, then, the School... and its employees (ie: the Coach), is required to follow... SCHOOL protocol/procedures/rules/policies/safety rules/emergency rules, etc.
And if not, then that Coach was wrong. Because, the Coach left the scene and left one student, alone. And thus, you would make a formal complaint, to the, School/Principal, etc.
-- However, IF this was a sport activity, that was NON-school related and was an extracurricular sports group of a separate non-school organization... then THAT organization and its Employees (ie: that Coach), is required to follow that organization's rules/policies/procedures, etc. So then, you would make a formal complaint, to that Coach's "Boss" or organization.

4) To M., this is not a case of it's your daughter's "fault." Yes, your daughter walked to the edge of the school to look for you. And she was perhaps still in the line of sight, of that Coach. HOWEVER, the Adult in charge of supervising the kids, IS STILL RESPONSIBLE for watching, the kids in that group. Even if J. one kid is left and still waiting for their parent. AND that Coach, should have.... gone over to your daughter, to tell her nicely, to stay near the pick up spot. And then, stayed near her and walked her back to the pick up spot. Not J., left her there and then, the Coach left too. Leaving NO ONE, in charge. So that... is wrong of the Coach. AND ANYWAY, the Coach... DOES HAVE YOUR PHONE NUMBER, right? The Coach, SHOULD have, called you. To inform you, that your daughter is waiting and the last one waiting... and that it was raining etc. Because, you also, arrived there 10 minutes early. So you were not late. BUT... NO ONE was there, the Coach was already gone.
And you found your daughter, waiting in the van of a parent.

5) NO matter what... the COACH was and is, responsible for... waiting with and supervising all the kids, until ALL the parents have arrived and picked up their kid.
The COACH... was wrong. Because he/she.... left the scene. And you were even early, having gotten there at 5:50. But the Coach was already gone... EVEN IF the Coach, saw your daughter go looking for you around the corner of the school. The Coach, STILL left the scene and left your daughter.... by herself.
It makes NO difference, if your daughter J. stood in one spot or walked to look around the corner of the building. The Coach is still responsible for keeping track, of all the kids in her/his, group. And especially being this was in the evening, after school hours... being this is a school related sports activity.
But, the Coach, STILL left the scene, EVEN if he/she knew.... that your daughter was by herself... and/or left with an adult... who is a "stranger." And, that person your daughter was with in the van... is NOT a "designated" "Emergency Contact" nor an alternate parental designated "pick up" person for your daughter. Schools, require, these designations by the parent. And schools, ONLY can release a child, to an adult, that is per their Emergency Contact forms etc.

Anyway, many school rules were violated here, by the Coach.
SO... any complaints you have, you need to contact the School, and document this, and put it in writing, and speak to the Principal.
Or, if this is a non-school sports group, you do this and go to that organizations, Boss/Director.

And of course, the Coach was wrong to yell at you and blame you.
The Coach, was wrong... for LEAVING the scene, leaving your daughter there by herself. And it was still only 5:50 at that point.
The Coach, is also wrong... for NOT following through on LOOKING for your daughter as she walked around the corner of the building. AND for assuming... that you picked up your daughter. As the supervising adult there, the Coach, is responsible... for LOOKING, actually LOOKING to see... if your daughter was still there or not... BEFORE he/she left herself.
The Coach, left a kid, unattended.
That is the bottom line.

I work at my kids' school.
There are very specific... RULES and policies and procedures... about supervision of kids, when they are in a school activity.

This is not your daughter's fault per say.
And anyway, the Coach, COULD HAVE CALLED YOU... being he/she has your cell phone number.
And the Coach... SHOULD have, gone over to your daughter, or called out for her or signaled her... to NOT go over to the edge of the school.
So, the Coach, was, wrong.
The Coach, made NO... effort, to contact your daughter as she walked in that direction, and the Coach made no effort, to contact you.
And then the Coach left the scene. Early. It was only 5:50pm when you got there, and the Coach was already gone. And your daughter was alone.

As I said, I work at my kids' school... AND IF I see, a kid walking behind a building or to the "edge" of a school's perimeter.... no matter what time it is: I GO OVER TO THAT CHILD, and I tell them to come back to the school area, AND I also, walk that child back, to a safer area. AND I also make sure, that child is not alone. I stay there OR, call over another school staff.
THAT is what the Coach needed to do. But did not.
And the Coach, LEFT the scene, EVEN if, he/she SAW your daughter go looking for you around the corner. The Coach, made NO EFFORT, to follow through, nor did the Coach supervise or stay by your daughter or have her come back to the pick up spot. And made no effort, to call you.
The Coach, J. left the scene, even while knowing where your daughter was.

Take it up the ladder (athletic director? or Principal) , explain calmly, in writing, if necessary, everything that happened ( basically J. like you did , above) , including that you and the coach already had an agreement on a text if they were going to be back early, which didn't happen. See what they have to say.

Yes, it was the Coach's responsibility, and she should be paying attention, but many coaches are teachers too ( have lots of "homework" to do), and she may have been trying to multitask, and thought your daughter went to the car around the corner, not J. to look, if daughter J. walked off and she wasn't told where/what she was doing/going.

Talk to your daughter about talking to her coach before walking away..."Hey coach I am going over there to see if mom is around the corner, I'll be right back!" and have her check back in with the coach even if you are around the corner, letting her know, "My mom is here, I am going now." Adults can be distracted this day and age too.

Maybe get your daughter a very simple cell phone, so SHE can text or call you and a very few select numbers of parents or relatives you trust to pick her up if you can't get there ( only to be used for this purpose, not as a "social or texting phone".

Only other option is to take her out of sports - this is the coach for better or for worse, it will be hard to get her ousted or reprimanded, harder to get her replaced if you succeed, and there may already be damage done to the relationship between you and the coach, now, which may affect how your daughter is treated on the team ( it shouldn't, but humans are human, so it might, esp.considering her reaction on the phone).

Good luck.