Please help. My 4 1/2 month old is great when it comes to going down for naps and night time, I put her down awake and she puts herself to sleep. We started giving her a pacifier at 2 months during naps and night time, but now she wakes up sometimes starting at 1 am and every 10-45 minutes throughout the night until 6 or 7 in the am. She doesn't cry at first. She just wants her pacifier back. I work at night until 11:30 and by the time I get to sleep its 12 or 12:30, Then she starts waking up between 1 and 3 and this continues until morning. As you can imagine I am not getting any sleep. We are talking minutes at a time if I'm lucky. I think the problem is the pacifier. Although it is a huge help to get her to sleep, she wakes so frequently in the morning hours that the pacifier then becomes the problem. The Dr. said it was ok to ween her from her 12 am feeding (she weighs 18.6 & in the 100th percentile). So now she last nurses at 6:30 pm then in the am when she wakes up. I don't know what to do. Please help. I was thinking to take away the pacifier this weekend, starting with naps and see how she does. Any suggestions? Thanks
Hello,Everyone. Thanks for all your imput. I took away the pacifier on Sat. morning starting with her first nap. She did pretty well all day. Then the test was going down for the night. I kept the routine the same and she went down really well at night. She fell asleep for a little bit then woke up and fussed from about 7:15 to 8:45. She didn't scream cry, just fussed, which made me not feel as bad. It is harder to listen to it when she is screaming. So, throughout the night she woke up about 4 or 5 times. Only crying the first time at about 1am. I heard her in her crib the other times, just kinda talking to herself then she fell back asleep. She woke up at 6:30 am. I didn't have to get up to comfort her after 1am. This morning she actually seems happier and more rested than she has before. She also usually goes down for a nap about an hour or an hour and a half after she wakes up, today she went for two and a half hours then went down w/o a fuss. I got the best nights sleep since she was born. I feel like myself again after 4 months. I hope it continues this way. Thanks everybody and I will look into the suggestions for mothers groups. I live in Swampscott. And I am married (it seemed like a lot of you thought I was single). I guess I wrote my question like I was doing it all myself, which sometimes I feel like I am, but my husband works early and I try to deel with our daughter at night. :)
breastfed babies will continue to wake to feed at night longer than formula fed babies. My son didn't sleep all night until he was 5 months old. I don't think it matters how much she weighs, her stomach could still be rumbling and waking her in the middle of the night. I'd say feed her and see if that helps.
If she just wants her pacifier back, go in and soothe her without it. You'll have to do it several times and probably have to stay by her side for a while - until she falls asleep, but once she catches on, she'll no longer wake for it.
Also, during the day, put her fingers in her mouth for her so she can learn to suck them.
I hope that helps!
M.,
I went through the same thing with my 3rd son. I almost regret having him keep it...the other two were weaned much earlier...but we deal with what we have. I personally tried to wean him and it was distratrous, he just really wanted that pacifier...so for a few months I would just replug him every time he started crying. Now at 11 months he replugs himeself. Good luck with that! I don't know where you live but in the Merrimack Valley there is a very good suportive group of women called the Mother Connection, it is a volunteer based organization that organizes playgroups, linkups and a monthly newsletter packed with great articles and things to do in the area.
Good luck!
H. (mom of Spencer 4 1/2, James 3 1/2 and Wilco 11 mths old)
You are right- she's looking for her pacifier and isn't able to put it back in her mouth. Every time she cries, you come see her and then she doesn't have to be alone. Throw the pacifier away- don't wean her off it- at this age she'll forget that it even existed within 48 hours. The first couple times you put her down will stink- but she needs her sleep as much as you need yours. You are doing both of you a favor. Good luck- I hope you get some sleep. :)
Dear M.,
Yes, I believe you are right- the pacifier is the problem. Get rid of it NOW. Your daughter will find her thumb if she needs it to soothe herself. Good luck ! L.
P.S. Where do you live ? E-Mail if you'd like company, support, advice, etc. L.
Hi, not sure where you live but here are a couple of mom's groups, that can put you into a playgroup with other similar aged babies. They are awesome associations:
Andover area - themotherconnection.org
Chelmsford area - chelmsfordmothersclub.org
You mention the pacifier as the issue, but I really think it might be a hunger issue. Babies need one or 2 night feedings until as late as 9 months of age (from my favorite sleep "bible" Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Child), and I found that when we tried to cut out that night feeding when our son was 4 months old, he would wake up frequently through the night. When we kept in that one night feeding (we were blessed that he only needed 1 from 4 weeks of age on), he slept great. I also found that I had to switch from breastfeeding to a bottle at night because he just wasn't getting full enough to make it through from a breastfeed. I suggest you try giving her a bottle when she wakes the first time, and I imagine she might make it the rest of the way through the night.
Hi M.,
Sorry to hear you're having such a hard time at night. At 4.5 months I wouldn't take the binky away yet. She's probably just loosing it, this will pass. She'll find a way to find the binky on her own. Can you share the evening responsibilities? You need to get some sleep girl!
I see by your profile that you're kind of on your own here. I don't know what area you're in, but you should try and find a Family Network near you. It's a place where you can go for free playgroups with moms of children the same age as yours. There is one in Sutton, MA that services surrounding towns. See if you can look one up in the phone book, or online. It was a great resource to me when mine were little.
Good luck to you.
Hi M.,
I am a stay at home mom always looking for someone to hang out with since my family lives in NY and the majority of my friends are working. I live in the downtown waterfront part of Plymouth so if you like going on long walks email me back. My daughter will be six months old in 12 days. You can also check your local hospital for mommy and me groups.
It seems like you've answered your dilemna yourself. You've identified the pacifier as the problem. Now all you have to do it get rid of the problem.... the pacifier. I rememver when my son was that age, and you'd do anything just to make them happy (or quiet)... so I know!!.... it's much easier said than done. Just go for it! Get it over with. Maybe try taking it away just for bed time. How about repacing it with something else... not necessarily an object (although this may work) but a new "thing" in the bedtime routine. hm... a story, a song, a new CD to play... If it doesn't work out that way, you may just have to get rid of it altogether! Good luck!
I would maybe try to nurse her, she may just be hungry. 10 - 12 hours is a long time for a baby her age to go between feedings - some babies may be fine going that long but not all.
