4:00 Fuss

My 2nd daughter had a fussy time. I usually gave her a bath (hers was around 7pm). It is possible to get a routine but at that age I let them set it a little. The bedtime routine I think is most important so they can know when they are expected to sleep:-)

GET THE BOOK THE 'HAPPIEST BABY ON THE BLOCK', WRITTEN
BY A DR(FORGOTTEN) HIS NAME. HE GIVES WONDERFUL
SUGGESTIONS FOR A NEW BORN, ESPECIALLY THE FIRST 3 MOS
AFTER BIRTH. E MAIL: ____@____.com N. J ANDREW

I'm not a doctor, but it sounds like colic to me. And unfortunately there is nothing you can do for colic except tough it out.

T.,
I saw you had 52 responses, so all I am going to say is Kudo's to the couple that I read---3 weeks is the 4th trimester of the baby's life, no routine at this point in his life. The "9 months in/9 months out" theory strongly applies for your little guy--swaddle him tight, feed him upon immediate notice that he is "rooting". Love him, snuggle him, enjoy him. M.

My response is on a routine. I read the response about the book "Babywise," which a friend of mine has also read. She is very rigid in her newborn's schedule after reading that book. I'm sure it has some very good ideas, but like any book, you have to adapt it to your child and your lifestyle. For instance, the book says feed every 2.5-3 hours, then have a 15 minute awake time, then nap. But, your baby's needs change all the time. If he's going through a growth spurt, he may need to eat sooner. Sometimes, he may need more uninterrupted sleep (remember, his brain is working wonders while he sleeps!). He may also need more awake time as he gets older to stimulate his learning.

There is a big difference between a ROUTINE and a SCHEDULE. Routines for babies are great. It helps them predict what comes next and can be very good for most babies. Schedules, however, should be very flexible and change according to the baby's needs (if you even need a schedule at all). Remember, your baby sends you cues about what he needs. Forcing him to live by a rigid schedule that he's not ready for at such a young age can disrupt the parent-child communication and bonding if his cues are not being heard and his changing needs are not being met. I would just relax about a schedule. You both will naturally fall into a routine within the next few weeks or months, one that works for you both.

Hello, Is baby spending alot of time with you near his side? The crying, alot of babies go through it, mine did I breastfeed and that helped me alot.I know it is hard to get into a routine i'm a stay @ home mom of 2,how I started to get into a routine is one step at a time,you can start by morning feeding's nap time lunch if you need to leave the house talk to him tell him what the daily plan is they hear your voice I alway's told my babies what were doing it's like talking to yourself but soon they respond by cooing smiling looking at you,if that doesn't work and you work full time try to aim for the same nite time feeding, nite time bath and reading a book tummy time they will soon get adjusted. Hold baby he can't be spoiled this young at age he need's to be soothed by rocking, feed,he may have gas burp him pat him on back change his diaper bathe him in luke warm water massage him with baby lotion it releaes these feel good hormones and it'll relax you too, swaddle him if all else fail's let him cry for a few minutes he may be over stimulated and need's time to himself this was the case my daughter her brother was alway's wanting to poke and prode on her for,the first few months then she adjusted now she is into everything.But if you think something is abosuletly wrong and it's a different cry then call the Dr they will get you right away,also take his temp recatally at this age and make sure he isn't overlybundled up even inside the house I know what your thinking how can I pin point all this but your a new mom Congrat's it happens to all us.I know you'll get alot of advice on this one but only you know your baby and what will work for your family.

I had the same problem but he didn't fuss for 2 hours. Sounds maybe like colic. I know that is not what you want to hear, but it really does get better. It only took about 2 weeks for my son to get out of the after noon fussiness and he started around 3 weeks also.
About putting him on a routine, there is no way you can put a 3 week old on a routine. I was able to stay home with my son for 10 weeks and have been back to work for 2 weeks now and he is just now really getting into a routine. Basically, at that age all you can do is feed him when he's hungry and let him sleep when he is sleepy. I starting trying to get our son on a routine at 8 weeks but it is really starting to stick now that he is in daycare, a more structured place than home with me. But now and for the past 3 or 4 weeks I have been able to feed him at specific times and that allows me to feed him right before bed time and get him off to bed around the same time each night. There will always be bumps in the road, and the schedule cannot be set in stone.
I am also a first time mother and hear horror storys from my sis-in-law who has an 8 month old but he was an extremely colic baby and is a terrible sleeper. It just depends on the baby.
Good luck to you. I promise the fussing will stop, just get out of the house when you can to get away from it. It gets very frustrating but in the end he is still your precious baby boy.

J.

T. - I also used Babywise book... Did I already tell you that before? I can't remember. Anyway, I have an extra copy at my house, if you don't have the book, I'll get it to you! Let me know!

I wouldn't worry about a routine. I'm a mom of 3 and my youngest is 4 months. She didn't start sleeping through the night till 8 weeks of age. She did the fussy thing, but i just let her fuss. She eventually soothed herself back to sleep. If she was screaming though i would pick her up and cuddle her. She takes 3 naps during the day and is in bed by 7 or 8 each night now. Don't worry, he'll eventually get out of this phase. Oh another thing that might help is playing soft music in his room.

I had the same problem with my daughter who's almost 8 months now.. the doctor and advice I looked up on the internet said most new babies get real fussy in the evening, and you basically just have to wait it out. Mine stopped around 2 months, I just tried to keep her entertained and distracted but it only helped a little :) I think its kinda impossible to have a 3 week old on a routine, because they don't have a set feeding schedule for themselves yet, or a sleep schedule because they're still getting used to being outside the womb. Just trust yourself and you'll do just fine... you're his mommy and you know what's best for him!

Don't worry about what everyone says. He'll soon make his own routine. I always thought that 5:00 was the hardest time of the day when my kids were newborns. If my husband was home at 5:15 insted of 5:00 it was not a pretty picture. I think its a hard time for most babies. It'll pass. Now that the weather is getting nicer, that'll make it easier too. My kids were always soothed by just stepping out the front door.

My son was always fussy around that same time when he was a baby and truthfully as frustrating as it was some days, he outgrew it. There are days where he is still cranky around 4:30 and we give him a snack (he is now 14months) while we fix dinner and he then eats dinner with us.

As for the routine, I think that is personal preference. When out son was a baby we did not have a routine, just went with the flow and followed his lead on most things. He slept when he was tired, ate when he was hungry, etc. As he got older we adapted that and now he does not have a schedule but things are more routine. Especially at bedtime as this is the one time that we struggled with. My personal opinion is that children do better when their parents are relaxed and not trying to follow a tightly scheduled plan all the time! Relax and enjoy your little one!

Kritsal

Hello, I just signed onto mamasource yesterday not sure what it would be about and this morning scanned the e-mails and yours caught my eye. My children's birthdays are all in the next month and they will be 9, 6, and 5 (hard to believe). I remember vividly what you are talking about, at our home we called it "the witching hour". I truly believe for some reason that is a difficult time of the day for many babies. I remember walking the house holding my crying baby very frustrated. Now that it is getting nice, you may try going for a stroller walk around that time or simply get outside. Sometimes a change of scenery helps. Getting babies on a routine would be great but it is much easier said than done. No reason not to try, but do not beat yourself up if it does not work. My children were never that good at sticking to a schedule. I do not have any magical advice but want to assure you that it is normal and that it will pass. The best advice I ever got was, "everything is a stage", which is so true. At the time things seems really hard but it will be a memory sooner than you think....and then you will be dealing with other issues. Hang in there and know that you are doing a great job just by loving that little one everyday. Bless you! Kelly

First of all, all babies get fussy in the evening. It's very normal! They are just letting off steam from all the stimulation of the day. A routine may help, but with a very young baby, it will constantly change! As soon as you get it down, the baby will hit another developmental milestone, become more alert and interactive and you will adapt your routine to fit your baby.

I did a modified version of the routine in Becoming Babywise by Gary Ezzo with my kids when they were babies: I would get them up, change the diaper, feed, play, then put down for a nap. I kept both my kids up for about 2 hours total when they were little, then put them down for a nap. I breastfed, so I had to modify the 'routine' around that. But, basically, my kids nursed about every 2-3 hours for the first 4-5 weeks, then went to 3-4 hours. I just went with the flow and tried to make sure they got their naps.

Regardless of the routine, we still had some fussing in the evenings. It should lessen as the baby gets older.

Hi T., i think it is very typical that babies fuss at this time- early evening, after a long day. I have twins and they would both do that about the same time. I don't know about a "predicable" routine, but, yes, you could estimate a time at which you get him "ready" for bed (bath, change diaper, change clothes, etc), and before he starts to get too upset you could lay him in his crib and just sing to him and swaddle him. If he is in daycare, maybe you could have his provider do the same, or rock him for awhile before he gets too tired. I did this with my twins and realized that they just wanted to sleep- and to be in their cribs, plus I could not cuddle to babies at the same time for too long.
Try a pacifier, swaddling, feeding, all these things before he gets overly tired.....
good luck!

All I can say is be patient. My son was fussy during that same time period until the age of 3 and now at 5 he still has moments during that time. I just learned to work around it. My belief is that it is his let-down time, for adults it is normally around 3 when they are tired. I'm assuming we are discussing pm but the funny thing is that 4-6:00 am was his wake up time so I learned to hate 4-6 night or day.

Good luck,
D.

Hey T.!

How are you holding up? Three weeks old, *phew* First let me assure you, this is totally normal!! At least it was for both my kids! It's really stressful, I remember, but it will pass and the best advice is to keep switching soothing tactics and get help to work your way through it. :)

Since you mentioned a schedule, I'd like to recommend a book that literally saved my life! I has a rather "unusual" infant for my first, being that he was NOT capable of sleeping like a newborn! HA! My husband was deployed and I literally thought I'd lose my mind! My cousin got this book from her pediatrician and I'm still using it for both my boys. It's called "Healthy Sleep Habits, Happy Baby." It's written by a wonderful pediatrician named Marc Weissbluth who has tons of personal experience and "techinical" research to back him up. The basic schedule that I established with my 8 week old is still in effect in our house today!

Hope this helps and Good luck!
S.

Dear T.,

It sounds like your little one has colic. I know that a lot of people say that's just gas but my pediatrician has described it the same way you have. A friend of mine said her first born would cry from 7 to 9 every night until she was four months old for no reason. You just have to be there for them. And as far as a routine, I used to worry A LOT about that same thing but the truth is babies set their own routine. You'll figure it out in a little while. Try not to worry about that (I know it's easier said than done). Enjoy your new baby!

HI T.,
I know this is a very tiring time for you and it's also very exciting. As far as the crying goes my suggestion is to try wearing your baby with a wrap or sling. Even if it is colic, wearing your baby has been shown to help ease fussiness. He is still 'fresh' from your womb and needs that closeness. As far as a schedule, I would say just listen to your baby's needs and your motherly intuition. He will put himself into any sort of 'schedule' and it's healthy for him to develop his own. At this age his instincts kick in for him to know when to eat, sleep, play etc... It can be detrimental to his development to put him on an 'adult' time-line or any schedule. (Not to mention that a strict feeding schedule will deminish your milk supply if you are breastfeeding). Just hang in there and know that this time will soon pass. Good luck,
K.

We used to call it "The Witching Hour(s)." Books are good for some, and yes some of the advice is good, but it's not for everyone. No baby follows the books.

My guess would be he needs a nap around that time. Try putting him down for a nap before he gets fussy... so maybe around 3:00 or 3:30. Maybe he's hungry? My daughter used to eat like crazy in the evenings to "tank up" for the night time. On the nights she tanked up, she'd sleep through the night.

My daughter started her own routine pretty early on... it just took me a while to learn her cues and put it to action. It might take you a while to figure out what he needs - a nap, more food, etc. But you'll get the hang of it. I wouldn't stress about a routine or set schedule right now. It will probably come naturally.

Sounds pretty normal. There are a couple things I'd recommend.

First and foremost - trust your intuition. You know best what she needs, sometimes it just takes a while to learn her language. You'll get there, keep listening.

The book BabyWise is a great start. I read it on a friends recommendation. Helpful tips and reminders of things I kinda already knew in my gut. We never followed it verbatim, but it was a good guideline.

Next are Hyland's Colic Tabs or Gripe Water (several mfg). I think you can get both at Wal-Mart now. Gripe Water has been used in Canada a lot longer than here. Sometimes one works better than another with young babies.

Then - have you tried a baby-wrap, sling, or other close carrier for her at those times? Put on some fun music (not too loud) and use that as your time to dance around the house and sweep, mop, dust... or just take a walk. The combo of your movement and being really close may help her thru that fussy time. (and they say it will help her coordination later in life too)

Hang in there and keep lovin' on your sweet baby!

T.

I went through the same thing when my son was around that age. It took me awhile to figure out that he was simply tired. The second he would start to get fussy I'd either rock him to sleep or put him in his swing (which always put him to sleep) and he'd wake up content.

Oh yeah it is! And it's great! :) Get the book Baby Wise. EVERYONE I've told about it swears by it, as do my husband and I. Seriously...it's a lifesaver. It got our daughter sleeping 8-10 hours at 6 weeks.

YES... it is very possible to get a 3 week old on a routine. Mine currently is! You can look on amazon.com for a book called "Babywise". It will teach you how to put your infant on a feeding schedule. It will also tell you that every baby has a "fussy" time of day... whether it is 5 minutes or 2 hours and gives helpful suggestions on how to deal with that time of day. The book is fairly inexpensive, you can always buy a used copy at amazon too. The basic theme of the book is that the parent has control of the feeding/awake/napping schedule and tips on how to set that in place... VERY HELPFUL.

The simplest routine is to feed your baby every 2.5 to 3 hours consistently, having a short "awake" time after every feeding, then naptime. The only time you would want to go longer between feedings would be at night, let the baby wake up naturally for night feedings.

This is my 3rd child, 2nd time to use this great book. Both my older kids slept through the night by 6 weeks, my newest is headed in that direction.

Having a child scheduled now really makes a difference in their temperament and how easily they will take naps and go to sleep later.

Enjoy this time, they grow so fast.

Oh will I might be a bit OCD but what I did for a schedule.... was print out at 24 hour day spreadsheet and would wright down when my kid would nap, eat, cry, play, want to be help etc... for about 3+ weeks. Then I could start to anticipate what HIS prefered schedule was and that I was not trying to force something "unnatural" to him on him. Howwever, I had to do this alot (the schedule monitoring) becuase at the young age their schedules change a lot and expecting them to have a schedule now or even for a while is a lot to ask and expecting them to keep it that was is impossible. Best advise I got was to do what you thought was best based on the the cues your baby was giving you.

You might try a massage especially around the tummy area that helped both my kids around that time they had gas really bad and that helped relax them. I kinda made a whole thing with it, soft music and candle. I think it was almost more for me than the baby but they got a lot out of it. And as they got older they didn't need that anymore, but still love massages after bath time.

It sounds to me like classic colic. The only thing you can do for that is wait it out. They usually outgrow it. If he is on formula, it might help to switch the type he is on. I'd check with his pediatrician as well and see if they can give you any suggestions. Good Luck and Congratulations!

Just get used to it. I have 3 and that was always their fussy time. Even as they have gotten older that time always seems to be their 'crazy' time. I think it's just overload from the day. As far as the schedule, that will come with time. I would say in a month or so. Just go with the flow for a few more weeks - it will all settle down soon, I promise

Yeah, that's the witching hour(s). My daughter has it, but it didn't show up until she was 3 months old. She's 5 months old now & on a sleep schedule. She's up at 7am, down for nap 1 at 9am, nap 2 at noon, sometimes another nap at 4, & down for bedtime at 7pm. It's working for us, but again, we didn't start with the schedule until she was 3 months old & it didn't work until she was about 4 months old. 3 weeks is probably too young, but it couldn't hurt. I suggest nursing or bottle feeding and lots of walking around or use a swing. Others find swaddling works well. It worked for our baby for the first month. Just remind yourself that crying is normal for a baby & some crying is for no particular reason. I totally understand how frustrating it is as a 1st time parent to hear all that unhappiness, but in time, you'll find what works for your ankle biter, & before you know it, you'll be obsessing over spit-up or projectile poo.

First, you need to be able to handle the "arsenic hour." The book "The Happiest Baby on the Block" by Dr. Karp is a MUST-have for this! Watch his video, too, to see how he flips the off switch on crying babies.

Next is a "routine" or "schedule." Your baby has one now; you just need to figure out what it is and fine tune it. Write down when he eats, sleeps, and poops for a week and note the times. You should be able to see something of a routine. Anticipating his hunger, sleep, and diaper needs should be easy then. As you do that, see if you can gently help him adjust his times to suit your schedule better. A baby his age still has to eat every 3-4 hours, and there's nothing you can do about that, but you might be able to get the babysitter to feed him before you pick him up so that your late afternoon goes better.

Good luck! Again--go get Dr. Karp's book!!

Three weeks old is too young for a schedule. This baby time is considered the fourth trimester when babies are maturing and getting used to life outside of the womb. Dr. Harvey Karp has a book the Happiest Baby on the Block. It gives techniques for soothing crying babies including swaddling. You might find some helpful hints. Slings sometimes help. Even writers who advocate sleep routines don't suggest trying it until three or four months at the earliest. Others advocate later than this. I think you can start routines and rituals like getting dressed at a certain time and reading stories, turning lights down etc. but I wouldn't expect too much. I think you can make sure your baby has some quiet non-stimulating times when you can encourage him to sleep by having low activity. I wouldn't count on a routine though. I found when my son was little sometimes I would play with him so much that he wasn't sleeping and was getting overstimulated and crabby. It is stressful when babies cry constantly but it can be normal. Babies usually outgrow that as they get a little older.

This may be colic. . .my lo started at about 3-4 weeks where she had bouts of crying (usually 7-11 in the evening) . . . Try swaddling very tight and then shhhshhng and/or walking in the stroller or try the swing . . . Good luck. . .I have no advice on the schedule thing but surely someone else will!

When my son (now 3 1/2) was about 1 month old he did the same thing but it was later in the evening. It helped to swadle him and say shhhhh in his ear while rocking him. He never took a pacifier so that never helped. It only lasted about a month and then he just stopped. I think 3 weeks is too young for a routine. In my experience, you just have to follow their lead. There is a great book called The Happiest Baby on the Block by Harvy Karp. I think it's one of those books every parent should read. Good luck!

You could try infant massage. There are books or classes on how to do the proper techniques. If you live in Columbia, MO there is a free infant massage class every month through Parents as Teachers in the Columbia School District. There is a gas/colic routine you can try with infant massage. Basically, you rub the baby's belly in a clockwise direction (that's the flow of the large intestine). Also gently bring the baby's knees up to his belly and hold 5 seconds, repeat. That helps relieve gas pressure. Such a little guy might have problems digesting his breast milk or formula. You might also try gas drops if your doctor says it's okay. Swaddling helps too. As far as a rountine, your baby has his own. Try to change your schedule to fit his, not the other way around at this age. As he gets older, you can start to change his routine. Hope this helps. Good luck!

It is difficult to grasp the routine but myself and all others I know have used the book Babywise. It is all about scheduling. It is a huge help to use as a guide. About the fussing, most babies do have a fussy time. Both my kids needed held for those evening hours. At about 3 motnhs things really improved. Hang in there.

They just do that! :) Seems like so many things like are just a phase. Just do what you can, and he will probably outgrow it before you know it! Walks outside did WONDERS for my kids.

3 weeks is REALLY young to start a strict schedule. They will eat when they need to, and sleep when they need to. He's only been in this world 21 DAYS.

I would be cautious about Baby Wise. It's not for everyone.

We held off on forcing our children into anything, and they did great with sleeping/napping/etc. I'm so glad we didn't do the BabyWise thing. I spent lots and lots of time researching and reading the options, and read all of BabyWise. So much of it just seemed so contrary to my instincts with a newborn. It seemed like it was all about making them convenient, to fit in nicely to our routine. If convenience is what a person wants, they should not have kids, because they will never be convenient. And newborns need so much at that delicate stage. I'm really glad we waited till they were several months old to start worrying about a schedule and sleeping through the night and all.

It sounds like colic. My daughter was like that for 5 months from 3:30-8 pm everyday. IT was tough but we got through it. A lot of babies get fussy towards the end of the day. I think that's when the gas settles in their tummy more and they don't know how to handle the pain. You can try the gas drops and see if that helps. I would hold her by putting her tummy across my forearm and patting her back. Sometimes that helped but a lot of the time nothing helped. She hated the swing but maybe that made her feel worse. You may want to research colic and see what helps. After we got through that stage people were giving me advice on what helps for colicky babies but didn't get the advice until she grew out of it so I don't know if any of it works. One of them was putting the baby in their infant seat and set them on the dryer while it's running. Make sure you hold onto it so the baby doesn't vibrate or fall off. I guess the vibration and sound of the dryer helps. I didn't get that advice early enough so I don't know if it works but have heard it a few times. Maybe one of the infant bouncy seats with the vibration would help. Just hang in there and it takes a lot of patience. Letting them cry in the crib a while won't hurt them either. My husband was gone a lot in the military so I was all alone with no family to help and when he was home he couldn't take all that crying so he would leave. I also had a 3 year old to take care of besides the colicky baby. If the crying got too much I would put her in her crib and go outside for a few minutes and take some deep breaths to take a break from it. There really isn't a cure for colic. It is just one of those trials in life some people have to go through. After 5 months she was the happiest baby and wasn't fussy so much anymore. My first child was so easy. He was sick a lot but nothing seemed to bother him. He hardly ever cried but was like a guiser when he spit up all day long but it didn't seem to bother him. 2nd one was the baby with colic. Third one was pretty easy too although he had his fussy times in the evenings too but was usually an hour and figured that was just normal baby fussing.
Just give this stage time and a lot of patience. Enjoy the happy times with your baby.

Hey there T.,
My best advice is "don't sweat the small stuff". I am a mother of 3 and grandmother of 8. Everyone of these kids did the "evening fussys". It only lasted a few weeks (seems like alot longer at the time). Just try your best to stay calm, as they can definately sense your frustration and it usually makes the situation more tense. If possible, let someone else come by the house during that time to share in the "fun". Try walking with him, just anything instead of just sitting and rocking with him. Believe me, it will get better. And I really wouldn't try to force a schedule on him at this time either. Just enjoy the quiet times and know that this too will pass.

NaNa D.

Hi T., We ( son & daughter in law) have the same problem with their 4 month old son, they call it the 7-9 pm cranky's. His Dr. yesterday told us it was probably a gas problem if they are not wet or hungry. We weren't giving the Mylicon drops like we were supposed to. It is like 1 drop per Oz. He was on breast milk until about a month and a half ago then we alternated Parents choice and breast feedings. We were only placing one drop per feeding. He take 8-9 Oz. You can put the drops right in their mouth too, it won't hurt them at all. They have cherry flavored which smells nice also.

I do hope this helps
Always K.
aka Nana to 5 gr kids.

I've heard of many babies that have a fussy time of day for a few hours. Not unusual, however they do grow out of it fairly quickly, and most likely before you go back to work. Just do your best about the routine. Try to do things in the same order at least, like before bed do bath, sing a song or read a book, eat and then lay down. Good luck!

Some people call it colic. I have heard that chiropractic can help babies with colic.

I don't think you have to be strictly routined. Just pay attention to what you have done a couple hours before 4 to see if what he is eating or doing is negatively affecting him.

Good luck and God bless.

I don't believe that babies that young are able to be trained. It is completely natural for a baby to cry or fuss like this. My son for weeks fussed and cried from 8 pm to 11 pm every night. Baby's cry an average of 3 hours a day under 3 months of age. The best thing to do to comfort your infant is to swaddle him tightly, hold him against you and rock or swing while making the shhh sound. Babies under 3 months still desire the womb experience and that is the best way to mimic it. Oh yeah also try to use the pacifier at the same time. The best book for this is called The Happiest Baby on the Block. It's is a great guide to soothing a young infant. Listen to your baby's needs. The routine comes later...about 4 months or after they are teachable in this aspect. I hope this helps!
M.
P.S. I just read some of the other responses. Colic is over diagnosed. My baby had a lot of gas until last month (he's 4 months now), and it is because their digestive systems are so new and immature. I strongly recommend The Happiest Baby on the Block, again it has so much wonderful and helpful information for the little ones.

I have a suggestion if you are breastfeeding. Cut out dairy products in your diet. My daughter started doing this at about 2 to 3 weeks from 7 to 10 at night. I stopped drinking milk and watched what I ate and within a few days she was doing better. I also started giving her gas drops. I hope this helps. Good luck, and don't worry, it will pass. Enjoy every minute with your baby, they grow so fast!

I really don't think that you can get a 3 week old on a routine, and you will probably drive yourself crazy trying to do this.

My son had a few week time period where he cried from about 4pm to about 7pm for no apparant reason. This lasted only for a few weeks and eventually he grew out of it. He may be overstimulated or have an upset tummy. Just try your best to sooth him and I think he'll grow out of it. You may even ask your pediatrician about it.

We used to call this our "arsenic hour". Both kids did it right around dinner time so my hubby always had to make dinner or it was delayed. I just dropped everything and cuddled and snuggled with them. We would watch TV or read a book...anything that was entirely focused on THEM. The only thing I could figure was it was their "ME" time. Eventually, they outgrew it or I could settle them down in a few minutes in front of the TV and go finish making dinner with the promise we would snuggle after dinner.

It's really hard and it's really frustrating but just roll with it. I don't feel this has anything to do with a schedule...I could set my clock to when the kids would go arsenic on me...didn't matter if we were home or out...Just snuggle with him and let him know you are there for him whenever he needs you.

My first response is to not worry too much; they go through a million short phases like this. Once you figure it out, it changes. My daughter had her fussy time at 4 or 5am. She was just gassy then for some reason, and found comfort in sleeping on my chest. Maybe to see if that is his issue, try laying him on his belly on top of a warm water bottle with a towel over it. Sometimes that warmth and pressure on the belly is comforting. Good luck.

Both of my kids did this and the more folks you talk to it is very common. (I realize that does not make you feel better) I call it the witching hour. Lots of good suggestions from others. I would try them all, but I would also tell you to just hang in there. Your baby will grow out of this. There is a great book to read, probably not now, but once you get a chance to sleep again and be semi-conscious. I just read it and it made me feel like I was not loosing my mind. It is Health Sleep Patterns, Happy Child. It discusses the neurological development of babies into kids and really helped me understand there are internal development changes that we have NO control over. Hang in there!

My first two babies were like that. Honestly it could be colic or just fussiness, it doesnt last nor turn into a routine by any means. But it can be very stressful for a new mom. My suggestions would be try a bath about 4 to see if it helps to soothe the baby to want to sleep, then put the baby in a swing and turn on a vacuum in the same room. This worked wonders for my children. It sounds crazy but at some point you'll try anything.

The thing to remember, if you are getting stressed about the crying it is ok to walk out of the room (leave the baby in a secure spot on the floor) for 10-15 minutes. This will do two things help you regain mental/emotional control and help the baby tire himself and then maybe you can get him to go to sleep.

Always keep your emotions in control, if you have to go in the other room and cry it is ok. It does not make you a bad mommy and does not hurt the baby, but it DOES help you clear your emotions so you can deal with the situation easier.

It will get better with time, not overnight. Keep your chin up and get help from the daddy too! They are there for a reason as well! Even if he doesnt do things exactly as you would, let him help anyway. As long as the baby is taken care of it shouldnt matter if he does it your way or his way.

:-) Best of wishes and good luck!

You've probably already heard this but it's most likely colic. And unfortunately, there's not much you can do until they outgrow it. I would doublecheck with your Doctor though.

Regarding the schedule - there is ABSOLUTELY no way to get a 3 week old on a schedule! You have to go with theirs because they will tell you when they want to eat and sleep which is pretty much all they do at this age. You won't be able to get them on any sort of schedule until about 3 months.

T., it is very normal for babies to have a fussy time. My 1 year old still is fussy from 4 to 6 every day. When he starts to act up do the regular check, diaper, hunger, gas and if all is well just love him. Sing to him rock him bounce him, what ever he likes. He may still just cry but that is ok. I know no mom wants to have a fussy baby or hear them cry but it really won't hurt them, it is actually good for their lungs. Some times they just need to cry to get rid of extra energy. It is hard to accept that, I know, I never believed it until now.

As far as a routine, at 3 weeks old he really sets the routine and we need to adjust. If you really want him on a routine you can try laying him down at the same time each day or feeding him at the same time but that works better around 3 months. Now I have heard of those Mom's that have gotten their little one's on a routine at 2 weeks but let your little guy tell you if it works for him. Right now he is just working on sleeping eating and pooping and of course loving mama! Enjoy your bundle of Joy and I am sure you have heard this before but they really do grow up fast.

Stay at home mom with 3 and 1 1/2 year old boys.
K.

I think that most babies I've known and kids too get fussy around that time. If it's excessive, then you might want to talk to a Dr. There is some evidence that colic can be helped by what you eat... Slings are a great help, there are many styles and ways to wear them, and they will be a help for many months to come. Nurse as soon as you notice the signs, crying should be the last sign. Don't ferberize your baby! Even the American Academy of Pediatrics warns against rigid feeding schedules (search their website). Your baby will develop his own schedule according to his and your needs (right now his needs are most important, as he gets older yours slowly become more and more a part of the equation). You're doing great, just listen to your baby, they tell you most of what you need to know!

All 3 of my kids had that fussy time in the late afternoon. I just came to expect it and dealt with it as I needed to. I also did not try to get a routine in place until they were a little older. I did do things pretty similar each day, but I didn't expect the child to be consistent for a while.

As hard as it is, as sleep deprived as you are, just enjoy holding your son during that time, if that's what he wants. He'll be running around sooner than you can imagine.

C.
Mom to Lily (4/98) Caroline (4/01) Samuel (7/04)

Hi T.,

Well my advice is going to be about the routine/schedule. I think one may fix the other.

At this point for the routine you ae more going with a few key things and gradually working in more.
So first, it would be eating. For eatin you will want to keep him on an every 3 to 4 hour eating schedule but no more than 5 hours during the day. Typically you want them to eat more and stay up more in the daytime then at night. So if he is eating every 3 hours then he would eat starting at 6 am so it would be 6 am,9,12 (noon), 3, 6, 9 pm at this point you would put him in bed. And after his 6 pm feeding and before his 9 pm feeding you would work in a bath ( I call it the 4 B's bath, bottle, book, bed). You would also then feed him in the middle of the night which would probably be 12 (midnight), 3 am and then again 6 am. Now if he doesn't wake up through the night then don't bother him. A good rule of thumb "Never mess with a sleeping baby".
If his feeding would be every 4 hours then you would take it from his first feeding in the morning. So in looking at what you are saying if he has a bottle at 3 pm then him crying from 4 - 6 could be a couple of things a) he is tired and needs a nap b) he is still hungry and needs a little more food c) he is needing some attention at this time, one on one. d) he has had enough attention for the day and he would just like to have some peace and quiet, put him in a swing or bouncy seat looking out the door or window.

But all in all with the routine 2 things will end up happening 1) he will know what happens next in his day and 2) you will also know what you will be doing next, basicaly you both are on the same page. This way he will get used to eating at the sametime everyday. Just remember, eat, play, sleep. He may not play for very long but as he gets older he wont be sleeping as much. Hope this helps you, W..

I guess the question is what do you mean by fussy? Inconsolable crying is probably colic. Just whining and crying a lot unless you are giving him 110% of your attention and then still whimpering now and again is probably just the normal baby thing. We did not have this problem with our daughter but our son had this every night between 6-7:30 and we had to hold him and walk...ABSOLUTELY NO SITTING ALLOWED. On a good night he would be happy in his swing which was a back saver for us.
If it is colic...I have heard nothing works from pretty much everyone except my Massage Therapist whose husband is a chiropractor and they said that he can adjust a baby and sometimes it will make colic symptoms go away. I know if my middle back is out is will make me naseous and that it is worse in the evenings so it might work. It sounds scary to me to have a baby's back adjusted but they said that you hold the baby against you, head by your chin, feet down and stomach towards you, then he just feels along the spine with his finger and lightly places pressure on any spots that are out of alignment. It is not like you think of an adult adjustment. Might be worth checking into if it is colic. We never had a baby that was in that much discomfort and I have never seen it so I can only relay what I have heard.

As for schedules..those of for the adults. If you need one to keep yourself sane then create one. We do not have a strict schedule for anything but some basic routines. For example we usually have bath nights on Monday, Wednesday and Saturday but sometimes we go crazy and add a bath if the kids get dirty. We usually eat dinner around 6:00 but sometimes the kids get hungry sooner and we have to eat earlier OR soemthing will come up and I have to work late so the kids will have a snack and we will eat later when I get home. I don't mean to sound too sarcastic but I get annoyed with people that insist you must have a schedule in order for your children to be happy and well behaved. Just do what is right for you and your family.

Hi T.,
first, Congrats! on your little one.

That witching hour is very common. I had to just count on not being able to work on dinner and just hold and walk her around the house (outdoors usually brightened her mood). Sometimes the (indoor) infant swing did the trick, with music or sounds of ocean waves and the lights to give her something to look at.

So, be there for him to comfort, tell your partner to pick up something for dinner and just walk him around from 4:00 until backup arrives, and try to remain calm, maybe sing to him. And when your partner walks in, hand over the baby and go give yourself a 10 or 15 min. timeout!

My 8-month-old son was similar from about 6 to 12 weeks and cried inconsolably from about 6:00 to 7:00. It sounds like colic, and the only thing we could find to help (and he still cried, just a little more mildly) was to walk in circles around our dining room table. Counterclockwise. :-)
I think the easiest solution is usually right, so unless your gut is telling you there is something seriously wrong it is probably just colic. As far as a routine, I think 3 weeks is way too young to expect that. Just keep giving your baby what you think is best, keep up any "normal" routine you have in the daytime (but don't deprive yourself of any chances for rest!) and be as quiet as you can when interacting with your baby at night, and you'll both fall into a routine soon.
Good luck! It sounds like you're doing great already!