4 Yr Old That Is Afraid of Storms

Just to let you know you are not alone we went through the same thing at that age. It did last for a couple of years, but not at the same intensity. Like some of the other responders said I think it is most helpful to acknowledge her fears without overreacting and to educate her. Our son is now 12 and although he no longers panics with severe weather he has an odd fascination with it and some of his favorite reading material is a book about tornadoes. He is good at math and science so I tell him he should be a metereologist!

We live in Iowa and have had the same thing for several weeks in a row. We model calm and relaxed behavior to our kids (3 and 6) when they are fearful. If the storm is really bad we let them stay with us until the storm passes.

She is reading your reaction to her reaction and because you are reacting to it, she thinks you are validating it. Play it down. When the rain starts, say, "oh, it's raining, the lawn is getting a drink." or something and then go back to what you are doing. If she sees that you are not stressed, she won't be. Even if she is, just play it cool and take out an activity that she likes to distract her. If you need to go to the basement again, just do it calmly and explain that this is what we do to stay safe in a storm. Be careful about telling her that you won't let anything happen to her, eventually she will figure out that you aren't really that powerful. She needs to know that you will do everything you know to do to keep her safe. That is all any of us can promise.

We have the same problem here. Our son won't even go outside if he has heard thunder that is 10 miles away. I don't think there is anything that can make her not be afraid and frankly some fear is a positive thing. I mean to say that you will always protect her and she will always be safe isn't true (though you will try your hardest to make it true) and even a 4 year old has a gut understanding of parental limitations. There will be a hundred opinions on this but for us we do the following has worked.

He can sleep with us during storms if he is scared. We watch the weather radar together and I read all the warnings for him and tell him whether they apply to our county or not. We tell him mom and dad's job is safety and will keep track of weather for him so we know when it is time to seek shelter. Anytime he is really worried we encourage him to follow his gut and head for the hammock we have in the basement. There he feels wrapped up and cozy and safe. The last thing we are doing most people can't do, but we are starting the process of building a tornado proof home. Insulated concrete homes can withstand up to 200 mph winds. He is very excited to say the least...lol.

Has your husband had the same talks with her? Dads have the tendency to over emphasize things and their big voices can be scary. I'm willing to bet that he said things and did things that scared her - whether it was his intention to do so or not.

He should sit down with her and together they can retell the story of what happened that night. She will have her own story to tell and will probably cry when she gets to the part that really scared her.

Your husband will want to listen to her story and apologize for and acknowledge the places where he scared her unnecessarily (even if it was necessary at the time). It will help her to change her focus from the storm to her dad's reactions to the storm.

At this point, she is in need of a reassurance that if it rains again she can count on her dad to make her safe without scaring her. He can make that promise... you really can't do it for him.

I asked the same question a few weeks ago. The reposes were great. But the best i can tell you is knowledge is power. Teach them as much as you can about weather of all sorts sunny, rain, wind. There are some great books at the libary. Some of responses i got was have the kids make a readyness kit. A box with first aid kit, water,important papers, and things for the kids to do. Have them make a safe place in the basement just for them. After a while my daughter has relax a bit but it may take time. We live near pakersburg iowa and cedar rapids iowa. So readyness is the key. The more you know and the better prepared you are the more relaxed the kids seem to be. I hope this helps. Good luck!!

I went through the same thing and the only thing I can say is give it time. She will get less and less scared everytime.

There are several books at the library for children about weather and storms. Maybe that would help? Good luck. I have an 8-year-old who still gets freaked out when there is severe wether.

We had the same issue with our son when he was 3 or 4 but we had no idea where it came from. He was terrified of the wind and any time it looked like rain or anything, he would grab his pillow and his "valuables" and head for the basement, insisting we go too. We finally did as other responders have suggested and educated him and ourselves about the weather--talked about it, read books, watched the clouds, etc. For many years now (he is 21), he enjoys storms and can tell you what kind of clouds are in the sky. In the process of watching the sky, he also discovered he enjoyed learning about the night sky--stars, planets, constellations. Education eliminates many fears. Good luck.

My oldest is 4.5 and he is the same way (he overheard me mention the Hugo tornado had destroyed houses...his aunt and uncle live there). To help ease his mind we went through all of the steps of what to do when there is bad weather. I showed him our "safe place" that he is supposed to go to when the sirens sound. It has helped him a lot to have that knowledge. We even went down to that area and looked around it when there wasn't a storm so he could grasp the idea when stress levels weren't high.

Someone mentioned building a house with insulating concrete forms. They are GREAT in storms. I work for a company that manufactures the forms, so I thought I'd include a link to our website in case anyone is interested.

http://www.rewardwalls.com/

The company is local here in Omaha, but we have distributors all around the country.