My son will be 4 the end of July. He has been sleeping alone since we brought him home from the hospital. We have been VERY lucky up til now. Over the last two weeks he has been waking every night between 12am and 2am. He says he's afraid, lonely, doesn't want to be in his room alone. I don't know what to believe or do. Probably a combination of all the above. Last night was the first night that he fell back asleep in about an hour. All the other nights he was up about 2 or 3 hrs. He has always been an excellent sleeper, able to put himself back to sleep. Other than teething or being sick he rarely if ever woke us for anything.
He hasn't napped in the last two days. I'm wondering if it's time to drop the nap and add more physical activity during the day so that he is more tired at night and hopefully stays asleep thru the night.
We have had a nap routine and a bedtime routine in place for years! We have a small bed so there is no room in our bed for him to sleep with us. He is in a twin bed so there is no room in there for us and I really don't want to start that anyway. There is no room around our bed to put an area for him to sleep on the floor. We live in a very small apt.
My husband and I have reassured him that while he is alone in his room, he is never alone in our apt. Mommy and Daddy are always here. etc, etc
I keep telling myself this too shall pass, but in the mean time I'm having trouble making it thru the day with only 4 hrs sleep. Specially since he hasn't been napping.
I've thought about making a sticker chart with a reward after so many nights of staying in his bed, however if he IS scared that probably won't work. I've tried talking to him during the day and I can't really get a straight answer out of him. From what I gather he doesn't want to be alone in his room. :(
He wants me to sleep on the floor next to his bed, but I've heard horror stories from people about once they started doing that it's very hard to break that habit! My husband and I just want to be the best parents we can be and do what is best for our son. We just aren't sure what that is. Making him feel safe and secure, yeah, but what is the best way to do that?
I appreciate any and all suggestions!!! Thanks for taking the time to read and reply!!
N.
Hi N. - I really feel for you b/c lack of sleep has to be about the worst! I think your instincts of not starting to co-sleep or even sleep on the floor in his room are on target. I have a 5 yr old daughter and have also been blessed with her as a very good sleeper. I would try the nap elimination option first. If that doesn't work or only works for a short time, then maybe you could make a big deal of buying him a stuffed animal/blanket that will be his "special protection" at bedtime (if doesn't already have one). Or maybe a nightlight in his room or a kids flashlight he cld you to look at books until he falls back to sleep? One thing that's helped my daughter when she's been scared is a Christian program/DVDs called VeggieTales - there a specific one (show) called "Where's God when I'm scared?" and has the cutest song in it called "God is Bigger than the Boogie Man" - it's a fun song that addresses the very real fears kids have (these are sold at WalMart). If nothing else works, I sure hope it's a phase he races through so you can get some sleep! hang in there & best of luck!
K.
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N.B.
answers from
San Diego
on
My daughter will be 4 in July as well. We have never let her sleep with us nor have we agreed to sleep in her room. She went through a phase for about a week when she would wake up in the middle of the night. I would talk to her about her nightmares and remind her that God was always with her and that her job was to sleep in her bed. When I looked at her daily activities during that time, she was not getting as much exercise during the day, so I think dropping his nap will help him not wake up. Stay firm, if you give in one time, it will make it harder in the long run. Good luck!
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A.C.
answers from
Fort Myers
on
Maybe he is just having bad dreams. Does he have a night light? because maybe if he does the light maybe casting shadows on any objects in the room and may cause them to look frightning to a child.
Does he have a special stuffed animal or toy he sleeps with cause that might work to comfort him. If that doesn't work you could try giving him something of yours that you had as a kid like a blanket or pillow that is if you still have any of thoes things. I'm not an expert I just remember what I use to do for my neice and nephew when they were that young.
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T.H.
answers from
Tampa
on
this is normal and you have to see what he is watching on TV. Maybe he saw something scary. His fear is real but you have to find something to protect him. For example. Give him an angel and pray. Tell him the angel will protect him and let nothing happen to him. Leave the lights on. So when he wakes up he can see nothing is there. You will lose sleep for awhile but, he won't be sleeping with you in high school. Do not eliminate naps it could make it worse but during his waking hours have fun exercises. good luck
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S.D.
answers from
Lakeland
on
Dropping the nap is a good idea. You may not even have to add activity.
Does he have a pet to sleep with him? Every boy should have a dog.
Try asking him what awoke him & what he is afraid of. If these things do not then I think it might be time for a checkup.
