I am a SAHM with 3 kids - 5 yr old girl, 4 yr. old boy and 2 yr old girl and a new one on the way.
My oldest who is about to turn 6 has just finished kindergarten and the other 2 are home with me all day everyday except one day a week my mom was keeping them for some hours to give me a break.
All of a sudden the last month my son will not stay with my mom anymore and is constantly looking for me even when we are in the house.
I can't even go potty without him calling for me within just a few minutes.
I suspect he is having anxiety about the new baby coming and is worried I am gone at the hospital maybe.
He also is very determined that he isn't going to preschool next year.
He don't want to stay with anybody but mommy or daddy.
We own our own business by the way and daddy works 6 days a week from 10-9 so isn't home much.
It has gotten very stressful today he promised me he would stay with grandma but when it was time for me to go he freaked out and I ended up taking him with me then just took him back home.
I usually go to a craft store or try to do something I enjoy for just a few hours while I have the chance.
Like I said I have one on the way due in about 2 months and now have 3 at home with me all day along with everything else I really need this break once a week to keep me from breaking down at times.
Anyone have any suggestions on what I can do with him to calm him down and not be worrying about me and wanting to be attached to me all the time?
He has always been the mellow one and has never had any problems staying at my moms house also.
It sounds like he may just need some one on one time alone with you. My daughter went through this when she was 4 but I basically told her she was going to prek and she adjusted.
My daughter will not under any circumstances stay with anyone other than me! She turned 4 in march and I stay at home with her as well. I guess they are just so use to being with us its hard for them. I don't have any advice because im in the same boat but wanted to ket you know your not alone! Good luck with the new baby!
Well you need to leave him with your mom, no questions asked. You can tell him you love him, and show him the clock and tell him what time you will be back. Then when you get back, show him the clock. Tell him you will be back to get him always. Your mom will have a heck of a time in the beginning but that is the way I had to do it.
He'll adjust. How long it take may vary per kid.
But 'separation anxiety' does occur in children, at varying ages, and is manifested differently per age.
Put it this way, I have a sibling, that EVERY year she had to go back to college, (which was away from home), she got so, anxious about it. She survived. Life.
My son, from about 3-4, got more attached to me and like a crab on a rock. HE did not want to go to Preschool either. But gradually, I with him, visited Preschools. Talked 'with' him about it, gradually. Slowly. We or rather HE, found a Preschool that HE liked. And even on the first day of going, he did not cry at all and just said "bye Mommy see you later", and he was happy. He LOVES his preschool. He was already 4, when he started. Just part-time. It is very beneficial for him. He says he wishes he can go everyday, but we can't afford that.
Now at his age of 4.5, he has recently gotten really again, attached to me. He looks at me all dreamy eyed and will tell me "I love you Mommy...." and just hugs me and sits on my lap like that is all there is in the world. It is precious. But he is also a very confident and secure little boy, who can express himself well and knows his emotions. He is just a real Mommy's boy. In a good way. Very close to me.
He will be going to Kindergarten in the Fall. That is soon. So I again, am talking with him about that, gradually. Slowly. His friends at preschool will be going to Kinder too. He is thus, warming up to the idea. And 'knows' mentally he will be going. I know he is attached to me, but I know he will adjust.
I commiserate with him, when he expresses apprehension. I acknowledge his feelings/ideas/thoughts about it and answer any questions he has. In a calm way. It helps.
Some people/kids, can quickly adapt to another routine/life transition. Some take time to warm up to the idea. But inevitably, all generally do adapt. Just fine. In the end.
Your son, per his age, like my Son, they get attached to Mommy. Its a phase.
My son as I said, was SO determined he was not going to Preschool either. I had been home schooling him etc. prior. But then, one day during our outings to schools, HE told me "I like this school Mommy. I want to go here." And luckily they had openings. That was the ONLY school, out of many, that he liked. And he likes it very much, still. Very happy there.
He told me recently "Mommy, remember how I didn't want to go to Preschool and just stay home with you? " I said "Yes I remember..." and he said "But I go to Preschool now and I'm so happy. I made up my mind..."
;)
What a golden moment.
And yes, your son is anxious about the new baby.
Talk with him about it... and his place with you, in all of this.
This is a MAJOR change, for him.
ie: stress, and anxiety.
its normal in a child, and in a young child like your son.
Talk with him.
Bond with him.
Be close.
That will give him a foundation, with you.
I did that with my daughter, who was almost 4, when I had my 2nd child. My son.
The more I bonded with my eldest, before I had my 2nd child, the more secure and 'happy' she was, about me having a baby. And she bonded with her baby brother, while still in my tummy... BEFORE her baby brother actually came home. I spent a ton of time, with her/bonding with her and being close with her... before (and after) I had my 2nd child.
She thus, adjusted like a champ.
