4 Yr Old Boy Won't Poop in Potty!

I disagree with Danielle. And.........No Spanking!!!!!!!!!!!!
Try having the child be responsible for the clean up, putting the poop in the toilet, putting the dirty clothes in the washer, cleaning themselves up. Then say " wouldn't it be so much easier to flush when you go on the potty rather than taking all of this time to clean up the mess?"
M. in Wisconsin

Make him clean it up. That is the only way to get him to stop. It will be hard on both of you at first, but he will not want to keep doing this behavior if he is forced to clean it up.

It worked for my daughter, who kept peeing in her underwear. She HATED to put the dirty underwear in the hamper - so that is what we made her do. One week later she was "cured", LOL!

Here is my resource on potty training.
http://today.msnbc.msn.com/id/25057503/

Good luck!

I worked in daycares for years...what your child is going through is normal. A child has pooped for years standing up , in their diapers .so to learn to sit and poop is hard. He will get it . He just needs to figure out what muscles to use to help him sit to poop.

I feel your pain. As horrible as it sounds, we resorted to a bribe. There was a toy my daughter wanted and we told her she could have it when she pooped in the potty. Then we backed off. She took about two days and went on her own and has never had a problem with using the potty again. We went THAT NIGHT and bought her toy and it was worth ever penny.

My daughter was pretty late potty training and even later pooping in the potty. I finally had to threaten her that she could not go to school if she would not poop in the potty. I then started a egg timer system. In the morning she would have to sit on the potty and try to go poopy. Eventually she caught on. She was able to go to k3 that fall and hasn't had any accidents. I have also heard of some parents making the kids clean up the mess but for me this worked.

My son did the same thing. It became a stressful thing in our house. We tried everything! So I finally dropped the issue and just changed him quickly and without comment. Then when he was less stressed about it, when I wasn't around I had my Mom talk calmly to him about going poop in the potty and he did it for her. He realized it was no big deal and has never had a problem again.

I know some kid think of the bpoop as part of their body and don't like to see it go down the toilet, and also some have trouble "pushing" it out in the sitting position on the toilet, withnothing to brace their feet against, when they are used to squatting, and using those leg muscles to help push it out.

So my 2 suggestions are this - see if you can find a kids book about digestion and poop, or just talk about it yourself, and explain to him that poop is the "garbage" your body leaves behind after it uses up all the good stuff in your food, and that the toilet is the "garbage can" for poop. Then also, make sure there is a way for him to use his legs to push when pooping on the toilet. If it is close to a wall, have him sit sideways and push his feet on the wall, or if you can find a step stool tall enough, make sure his feet touch while sitting, and let him squat over the toilet, with feet on the stool, hands on each side of the seat to poop - or if all else fails, "help" him - by using your hands to push on his feet as he is sitting, so he has something to push against.

These books might help some - check your local library too:

http://www.amazon.com/Chew-Poop-Pee-Express-Digestive/dp/...

http://www.amazon.com/Wheres-Poop-Julie-Markes/dp/0060530...

http://www.amazon.com/Zoo-Poo-Richard-Lyon-Morgan/dp/0099...

http://www.amazon.com/Journey-Mister-viaje-Spanish-Englis...

http://www.amazon.com/Free-Poop-Kiki-Kukaluka/dp/06153253...

This is very normal, as others have said.

I tried bribes with my son and even with a high-reward toy he still wasn't interested in trying. (he had to go on the toilet just once to get the reward, and the toy sat on a shelf for six months.)

What finally encouraged him to use the toilet was a bout of diarrhea that leaked through his pull-up. He was so miserable and messy that when I suggested the toilet, he was willing to try and then found that it wasn't so bad after all.

I don't think I would do this myself, but friends of our family were told by their doctor to give their son a laxative to achieve the same effect. You could ask your doctor about it.

This is a pretty common problem, and we went through it with our oldest son, who is now 13. We actually sought professional advice when he was almost 4. He was a little over 4 when he finally got it. We were told to NOT make a big deal out of it--no getting upset, no discipline, etc. That just makes them more anxious and likely to hold it. Our son wore underwear and told us when he had to poop. We gave him a pull up to poop, quietly and quickly cleaned him up and put him back in his underwear. I know several people say have him clean it up himself, but that's not what we were advised, and I personally think it sounds kind of mean and very messy. In the meantime, we talked a lot about the science of pooping, read books and even got technical about the wastewater treatment plant. He's analytical so the wastewater treatment plant information really appealed to him, and he even explained it to his preschool teachers!! We were encouraging ("you can do this"), and we also promised him a new engine for his Thomas the Tank Engine train set. Good luck. He'll get it eventually and you're not alone in this problem. It will be a distant memory when he's a teenager like my son!

My son went through the same thing. It is very frustrating!! He has always had a bowl movement problem. I realized that for some reason it was easier for him when he could squat.. I would catch him squating on the bathroom floor and then try to put it in the toilet.. A couple of times i caught him squating behind the garage where the dogs pooped. We have a wooden fence so nobody could see him and it was warm out so i got his old potty chair out and put it next to the garage. He started useing it!! Then in a few days i moved it in the bathroom. He was pretty old when he stoped using the little potty chair, but it was a lot easier for him because he was closer to the floor and he could squat that way. Occasianolly i would catch him squating on the bathroom floor put it soon passed. I hope this helps, good luck....

I know how frustrating this is, you are not alone. My girl did the same thing. She would withhold pooping, be in great pain for days so that she didn't have to poop! Finally we had to take her into the bathroom, close the door and give HER the power to decide to go. We said she had to stay in the bathroom until she pooped on the potty (she had to go we knew, she couldn't even SIT she was holding it in so bad). Trying to physically hold her on the potty had backfired before and made her more resistant. So we sat in the bathroom for about 15 minutes and finally she went on the potty. We had to do this for several days until she began to have less anxiety and stopped fighting it. Sometimes it's about fear, sometimes power, with her I think it was both. We gave rewards after her successful pooping and talked about how much better it felt in her body. We also would read the book "Sometimes it hurts when I poop," which helped by explaining WHY we all have to poop and it won't just go away if you don't do it. Hope this helps you. Just remember YOU ARE NOT A FAILURE, each kid is just different. Being a parent is so hard!

My younger son went through the same thing when he was 3.5 years old. He just did not get used to poo in the toilet, and sometimes scary about it. What we did was bought some potty-training books and DVD, watched them with him. And there is a silly song, "byebye Poopoo, byebye Peepee...". Do not stess them, let them feel comfortable about it and they will go someday.

Does he understand what poop is and why his body gets rid of waste and that it is not part of him? Might help to give a little scientific, factual poop info!