4 Yr Old Bedtime

My son is 4 years old and I know exactly what you are going threw because my son don't know anything about nap time and he trys to stay up with me no matter what time it is. I try to lay down with him and I found out thats the only way he would go to sleep. When he go to sleep thats when I will leave the room because he also do not like to sleep in his own bad.

Start a solid routine, Bath, reading time, turn on lullby music ( any soft music turned way down to where you can bearly hear it will do) and tuck in ( rub back , night night prayers talking about what he did that day etc) and leave him , he gets out of bed put him back in. DO NOT let him stay up. make sure he pottys before you tuck him in so he cant use that as an excuse to get out of bed. we've dewelt with this with my daughter almost 5 now. we use a reward system if she stays in her bed AND stays quiet ( no calling mommy and daddy, no loud playing etc.) after being tucked in she gets 3 Florest gems ( we use them also during the day she gets one for stuff thats easy , 2 for stuff thats not so easy and 3 for stuff thats hard for her ) every time she gets out of bed she looses one gem for the night, the next day if shes gotten all of her gems for that day she gets to do something fun that she likes to do after her baby brother goes to bed ( playing on the computer is our main one she loves to play on noggin.com or nickjr.com) but if she looses any gems from going to bed she cant play on the computer. If she looses them all she has to go to bed early the next night ( at baby brothers bed time).

bed times here are 7pm for my son and 8pm for my daugter.

HTH
B.

My daughter is four and she goes to bed every night at eight o'clock no questions asked. She gets a bath after dinner then she watches T.V. for a little while then she goes potty(she also is not allowed to have anything to drink after 6p.m.) she gives kisses,gets in bed says her prayer, then I lay in bed with her long enough to read a story then I give her kisses and I leave if she wants to try to play after I leave then she gets something taken away. There is no letting her get up, there is no reasoning with a four year old ever, you explain why they can or can't do something and that is the end of the discussion. If you give in to what they want they try to run you over and it gets worse as they get older. They need to know disipline and that you are the boss from the get go. Show them you can be the boss and you love them enough to discipline them.

What time does he get up in the morning? My son just turned 5 and he sleeps from 9pm-7am with no problem. He does not nap during the day. Maybe you should wake him up earlier if he is sleeping late. Do not let mim take a nap. Make sure you have a good bedtime routine that starts at the same time every night. We take a bath, put on pajamas, drink milk (it is supposed to make you sleep better), read books, have hugs/kisses, brush teeth, potty and then go to bed.

What does he do all night? Does he just lie in his bed? Does he get up and play? Does he get out of bed and come find you? We have a rule that if our kids get up without a good reason or call us upstairs without a good reason, they get counted. When they get to 3, we take away something they like at bedtime for the night such as a favorite toy or turn off their cd player. It usually works. They seldom get past "2" now.

Does he use a nightlight? Both my kids want to fall asleep with the bedroom door open and the hall light on. They both have ceiling fans with a dimmer on it that we dim to low as a nightlight. I close my son's door when I go to bed but he still has his fan light on. My dgt. requires her door to stay open right now because her fanlight is new. However, I hope to work toward closing her door too. Hope this helps. Good luck!

Does he have a T.V. in his room? I would put my daughter in the bed and she had (still does) 30min of 'quiet time'. The light was turned off and she watched a small cartoon and 30min later the t.v. was shut off. It helped her to unwind and relax. As she has gotten older, she has choices during that quiet time. She watches a tv show, draws, writes in her journal or listens to soft music.

I highly recommend two books - one is the Babywise book that is about sleeping - or maybe just read the Growing Kid's And Dr. Raymond Moore's book: Home Built Discipline.

Controversial or not - people enjoyed my children and still do (they are 25, 29 and 32). And I have seen people enjoy the children of others that use these philosopies. But, on the other hand - infants and toddler led to call the boundaries - I don't see people enjoying them many, many times.

I just read the response you got from Amber - She HAS it!

It's the warm loving spirit of the parent that makes the difference as they prepare/train the child for the world - and it starts very early.

Try giving your 4yr.old some sleep medicine. I had the same problem with my 9yr.old and 5yr.old. Now they go to bed on their own before 8:30pm.It may help you it helped me alot.

My kids stayed up late too.

Try not to let them oversleep in the morning and do not allow them to take a nap in the afternoon.

Get them into a lot of activites that will wear them out. Your kids will want to go to bed after that.

J., first, how in the world are you still standing? You must be exhausted. If it were me, I'd tell my doctor about it. My daughter isn't a sleeper either.. never has been. I would also set rules for in the morning, like tell him he is only allowed up if you are. If he is hungry, set a snack out that he can have without your help. Some cheerios in an easy open bowl with a sippy cup of milk on a low shelf in the fridge. I definitely think you and your child need some rest. However, some children have physical problems that keep them from sleeping or going to sleep. I would be sure your son doesn't have one of these, then try some of the good suggestions from these other Moms. I wish you lots of luck and many zzzzzs. K~

perhaps you can try waking him up earlier in the mornings.

Hi J.,
I have a 4 yr old as well and I'm not an expert but there could be 2 reasons s/he is not sleeping 1. s/he is not tired 2. s/he wants to stay up to spend time with you.
I would cut out the nap immediately so that your child can return to a normal cycle. That worked for me.
Good luck.

Hi J.:
My advise is to use the routine. Have dinner, give him a bath, put him at bed,(as the rest of the family), read something and turn off the light of the complete house. In the beginning maybe he will try to get up but if he doesn't have light at all and anyone is up. He will return to bed.
I used to do this with my son at 9:00 PM. Now he fall asleep as soon as his bath is finished. It works! Be patient.
(Of course, once he was asleep, my husband and I turned on the TV or the light to read before really go to bed.
Hope this works for you.
P. B.

That just doesn't sound like enough sleep for a child that age... he just might be over-tired and needs to learn to fall asleep by himself. I agree with Devin D. Make a routine and stick to it. My kids (3 and 5) go to be between 7:30 and 8:00 and sleep till between 6 and 6:30 (when we have to get up to get my 5 yo ready for school). The 3 year old also takes a 1-2 hour nap. They go right to sleep or at least stay quiet in their rooms until they do. Once in a while they try to test the waters with "one more song" "one more story" "one drink of water" but we are pretty firm with the routine and it doesn't last long. Good luck!! I also wouldn't completely rule out a nap. One doctor once told me that it's a fallacy that if you keep kids up by day they'll sleep better at night. He said they get overtired and then can't fall asleep as easily at night. He said "sleep begets sleep". I have found it to seem true with my own kids.

My son,who is also 4, used to be notorious for taking forever to finally go to sleep. It took quite awhile but after putting him in bed the same time every night and waiting and waiting and waiting some more he now goes to bed at a decent time 8 - 9 o'clock. Not to say we don't still have many nights that he still just won't go to sleep. I had to sit in his room for the longest time saying to him...don't move your feet lay still stop playing with your fingers put your knees down no you can't have another glass of water stop talking ...it became a mantra....now happily I can put him in bed kiss him good night and he is asleep in no time..... A. S.