4 Yo Suddenly Giving Me a Hard Time About Baths

We were like Nicole. when our daughter would go through these stages, bored with bath.. we would do races, "How fast could we bathe her.". The rule was she had to have her hair washed and all parts of her body washed with soap.. and all rinsed off.. A real bath..

We also kept a time record of each time.. One night I would bathe her and the next night my husband would bathe.. her..

You could just see how fast you can get it all done. each night..

Sometimes, my husband would try to cheat.. on purpose and our daughter would yell, "Mom dad is cheating.. he did not wash my neck!!!! "

She would laugh and laugh.. she loved it..

It was so funny to our daughter spreading her fingers, and toes, turning around in the tub. lowering her head so we could get her neck..

Have you told her what'll happen to her if she doesn't clean up? I know my kid is rip-roarin'-ready to get herself clean after we had a talk about all the gross stuff that can happen if you stop cleaning yourself. Get creative. Show her pictures of dirty people on the internet. Worked for me!

She cleans her whole body all by herself with a bar of soap and a washcloth but I still wash her hair. It's really long and she just gets it into a big tangled mess when she "scrubs" it.

My kid's also a little competitive so if she gives me any lip I'll say, "How fast can you get naked! I'll time you! And see if she can do it faster than last time. I keep a little "Super fast zero-to-naked" 3x5 card with dates and how long it took her to strip. She loves it. All you need is any timepiece with a second hand.

how about offering her a choice between a bath or a shower? BUT she only gets to take a shower like a big girl if she ACTS like a big girl and doesn't backtalk.

Have you tried bathing her earlier in the day before she is tired, like first thing in the morning? Obviously if she gets dirty playing outside she would need to wash up, but that could be as easy as a soapy washcloth while sitting outside of the tub. If you keep them to evening do them 30 - 45 minutes earlier with bedtime also earlier, she may simply not be getting enough nighttime rest to get her through the day.

My little guy is almost 3, but for the first couple of years he detested baths. Around the time he turned 2 he began to love them, so I quickly got him in the habit of having one every night as part of his bedtime routine, before the novelty wore off. Now he knows he's having a bath that night and he hardly ever fusses, especially since he knows he can have a quick suds and rinse and get out, no toys or lingering if that's what he wants. He also has the option of a shower which he has taken twice.

Tell her she might not like baths, but that she is having one. Discipline the whining and screaming, say no toys in the tub, or no bedtime stories and stick to it. Tell her you don't have to fill the tub up, you can just run the water while she (or you) scrub her with the washcloth and wash her hair and rinse her off and then she's done, but she is having a bath. Set a timer so there's no argument when it's time for her to get out, it's simply time to get out. Sometimes choices are too much for little ones to make, and the best thing we as parents can do is make them for them for a time, so as to not frustrate them further.

Very typical at this age. Kids at 4 start to resist all kinds of things -- they realize that the bath that was such fun a few weeks or months ago is eatiing up precious time they want to spend doing something else. Anything else. It's the same mentality that makes them scream that they don't want to come inside after being outside; they don't want to go outside when they're playing inside; they don't want a play date to end; they don't want to get in the car; don't want to get out of it....Whatever they are doing (or just sitting there thinking) is more interesting in that particular second of time than what you want them to do. The fact that she's happy once the BATH becomes the interesting, fun thing shows that the problem isn't that she fears baths for some reason -- the problem (to her mind) is that in the moment you say "bath now" her brain and attention are focused elsewhere.

This is a time just to be calm, calm, calm and consistent. If you make it a battle and yell or punish, she will "get her back up" as my mom would have said and will resist harder night after night because (a) she's learning to push your buttons; (b) the more you want it, the harder she'll fight it; (c) did I mention those buttons?....Don't force her into a tub if she is literally kicking and screaming, because that is unsafe for you both, but do make it calmly clear that NOTHING else happens until she is in the tub.

Once she's there you can try some new things like reading a brief story while she's in the tub if she loves those, but do still give consequences if she fusses. Keep them immediately connected to what's happening (it does not help a kid this age learn anything if you take away something the next day -- she won't fully connect what she did tonight with a consequence more than 12 hours later).

This does pass but you may find her resisting other things you ask (or tell) her to do for several years. I found that ages three to about six were tough years for getting kids to break from doing things to move on to a new activity, especially one seen as a chore by them. Not letting it become a fight every time is very important. Keeping your temper and being consistent is key too. If the baths are not daily maybe they should be -- but much shorter? Then she knows to expect them every time, instead of being surprised when it's tubby time and she thinks "LAST night there wasn't any tubby time! Why tonight?!" And she will indeed still be surprised in HER mind even if you told her two hours ago she had a bath coming tonight; her brain is in the moment. I'd give a one hour notice, a half hour notice, and then notice every five minutes starting 15 minutes before a firmly set tub time.

Have you tried giving her a choice? In my opinion, little kids shouldn't have baths everyday. My son has developed some eczema as a result of too many baths, and my niece ends up with vaginal infections (too much soap and water can throw off the PH). So, perhaps if you cut her baths down to 3 times a week and say "Would you like to take a bath tonight or tomorrow?" and let it be her choice? Or say...you may have a bath or a shower? Sometimes the choice is key. You could also find some new fun toys or activities? A little food coloring in shaving cream makes great finger paint.